いとしいこと

Previous   TOC   Next One Night Sunahara dreamed of being surrounded and crushed by the students in his homeroom class. He woke to the sound of his own groaning. Peeling the man's head off his chest and pressing it down into the pillow, Sunahara reached for the pack of cigarettes on the bedside table. His eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the darkness, and his fumbling fingers knocked something over with a clatter. He clicked his tongue in irritation and bent to retrieve it, finding the chipped plastic edge of his alarm clock. The hands read five minutes to midnight. He blinked in surprise at how early it still was, muttering to himself that it must be because he'd gone to bed around eight. The clock ticked quietly in his palm. Just five minutes left in his twenties. Half of his classmates were already married with kids, part of a "family." Sunahara didn't like comparing himself to others, but he couldn't deny a small, nagging sense of being left behind. P...

Previous   TOC   Next The call came the day after the newspaper announcement—a Wednesday afternoon. Aketo had just returned from cram school, his hand on the banister as he started up the stairs to his room, when the house phone rang. Neither of his parents were back from work yet. He doubled back to the living room and grabbed the receiver from its cradle on the low cabinet. “Hello, Aketo speaking…” Silence. He frowned, thinking it might be a prank call, when a low, familiar voice crackled through the line. “It’s Sunahara.” Aketo’s spine went rigid. His grip tightened around the receiver. “Can you come out?” “W-where are you?” “…The park.” “Ten minutes—no, five. I’ll be right there.” Before he had even finished speaking, the line went dead with a sharp click. For a second, Aketo just stood there, stunned, the receiver still clutched in his hand. Then, snapping back to reality, he dropped it, snatched his house key from the side table, and bolted for the door. He sprinted down...

Previous   TOC   Next The morning of the closing ceremony, Aketo felt awful. He had no appetite, so he skipped breakfast, only managing a cup of coffee before heading out. He knew exactly why he felt this way—he hadn’t slept properly in over a week. Every time he lay down, his mind would start racing, filling the darkness with unwanted thoughts. He arrived at school just in time, with only a few minutes to spare. Most of the students were already filing into the auditorium for the ceremony. Tossing his bag onto his desk, he joined the crowd shuffling down the hall. Once inside, the classes lined up in neat rows, and the closing ceremony began. The principal’s customary long-winded speech followed, dragging on for a full forty-five minutes. By the time it ended, Aketo’s head felt light, and his legs were beginning to give out. When the ceremony finally concluded, the students surged toward the exits. Aketo lagged behind, weaving his way through the thinning crowd. He spotted hi...

Previous   TOC   Next He wasn't struggling with his studies, and he wasn't being bullied either. Even so, he found himself not wanting to go to school. No matter how careful he was, there was always a chance he might run into Sunahara there. It wasn't as if anything dramatic would happen if they crossed paths in the hallway—just the sharp, bitter reminder of that lingering discomfort between them. One day during lunch break, Aketo found himself idly staring out the window when he noticed Sunahara walking across the school yard. He wasn't in his uniform, which made him stand out immediately. Cutting across the wide, open grounds, he headed for the main gate. Aketo checked his watch—12:15. Maybe Sunahara was just stepping out to buy lunch from a nearby shop. Curious, Aketo kept his eyes fixed on the gate, and sure enough, five minutes later, Sunahara reappeared, a plastic bag swinging from his right hand. What did he buy? A bento, maybe? Aketo wondered. He suddenly recal...

Previous   TOC   Next Sunahara had said, "Don't ever come near me again." It suited Aketo just fine, and he had every intention of letting the matter drop. However it had ended, it was over, and that was a relief. Yet, every time he spotted Sunahara at school, a sharp, needle-like pain pricked at the base of his chest. If he sensed Sunahara approaching, his whole body would tense up. The fleeting moments when they passed each other were a whirl of unbearable tension, followed by a heavy, nameless weight that clung to him for hours afterward. It felt like a fresh wound, reopening every time he remembered it. Time drifted by, indifferent to his confusion. Even his dates with Otomo-san felt dull. Being with her made him happy, and he still found her cute, but the moment he got home, a heavy sigh always escaped him. The thought that it had never felt this way with Sunahara only fueled his irritation. Most of the places he took Otomo-san on their dates were ones he'd once ...