いとしいこと

Previous   TOC   Next Even someone like Hayashida—an easygoing guy but not particularly sharp—seemed different when seen through Takagi-san's eyes. When she declared unabashedly, “It was love at first sight, like it was fate,” it was Kakegawa who felt embarrassed on her behalf. At her request, he told her stories from their high school days involving Hayashida. When he brought up the time they made a film for the school festival, she said she’d actually seen that video. “It was fun to watch. The girl playing the lead role was stunning.” Gazing off into the distance as if lost in thought, Takagi-san suddenly murmured, “You know, I came up with the script for this film when I heard the phrase ‘hate the mediocre.’ ” “It’s a sad story,” Kakegawa said. “It is. Completely hopeless.” She replied with a calm nod, as if discussing the weather. “It’ll probably make people feel pretty miserable too.” She tilted her head, pensive, her gaze drifting to Hayashida, who was snoring away in a...

Previous   TOC   Next “About the movie” That morning, when they ran into each other at the station, Kakegawa explained to Hashimoto why he’d been wearing a suit. He said he was starring in a movie a friend was shooting. Hashimoto, who had been in the middle of cooking, stopped what he was doing and looked at him in surprise. “Of course it’s amateur. It’s just a short film, around fifteen minutes. But my friend wants to submit it to a contest, so he’s putting a lot into it.” They’d bumped into each other in front of the apartment building around eight, when Hashimoto came back from work late because of overtime. Both of them were hungry and had been about to go out to eat when it started to rain. Neither of them wanted to get wet, so in the end, Hashimoto made pasta. “A movie, huh.” The initial surprise quickly faded into disinterest. “It’s not a cheerful story, but it’s interesting. It’s all told through music and sound effects—I don’t say a single word. The story’s crafted so...

Previous   TOC   Next At first, he had hesitated to sleep with Hashimoto on the very same day he met Sunahara. It felt as though indulging in Hashimoto’s body would somehow taint the feelings he held for Sunahara, whom he believed to be pure. More than once, he hesitated to let his fingers trail over that bare chest. But eventually, even that guilt became familiar. “I can go to the O'Donnell concert.” Hashimoto said this as he rubbed the tip of his nose against Kakegawa’s chest, after they had sex in an air-conditioned room that was just a bit too cold. For a second, Kakegawa didn’t understand what he meant and couldn’t respond. Hashimoto pinched his cheek and said, “Are you asleep?” “It’s Leonardo O'Donnell—the one you said you wanted to hear. I told you I wasn’t sure if I could make it, but looks like it’s all good now.” “Happy?” Hashimoto smiled as he propped himself up on the bed with an elbow, running his fingers along Kakegawa’s jawline. “Oh, just so you know, the seats ...

Previous   TOC   Next “He’s got such a beautiful expression.” That’s what Takagi had said. They had just wrapped filming the scenes at the bus stop, the rental studio, and the rain shelter—nearly two weeks of work. That marked the completion of the first half of the film, focusing on the protagonist’s boyhood. Next would be the second half, shooting the protagonist as a young man. They were supposed to film at a park that day, but unexpected rain had forced them to cancel and postpone until tomorrow. In the meantime, they’d switched to editing work. Apparently Hayashida had tried to contact Kakegawa to let him know, but couldn’t get through. So after finishing his errands, Kakegawa went straight to Hayashida’s apartment and only then found out about the change. Even when the film splicing began, there wasn’t much for Kakegawa to do. This was serious business—not like the casual editing they’d done back in high school. He couldn’t help out at all, but going home without doing a...

Previous   TOC   Next They let several buses go by. She got on a bus again and again, rode to the next stop, then came back. Because Hayashida kept rejecting every take. Even though they had neither the time nor the money, he refused to compromise. This was one of those oddly particular things he wouldn’t bend on. Leaning against the concrete wall, sweat beaded slowly on his back and forehead. His T-shirt clung to his body and wouldn’t peel away. His shadow was small beneath him, and there wasn’t a single spot of shade to take refuge from the harsh sunlight. He waited for his movie-only lover . Spotted her and followed her with his eyes. Told himself she was Sunahara. Told himself he was so madly in love with her he couldn’t stand it. It was about an hour into this when it happened—he caught a glimpse, by sheer chance, of a familiar profile on one of the buses. It startled him. Seen through the bus window: a white shirt, a dull blue tie. A slender profile with long, narrow eye...