Deep Breath: Chapter 1 - part 1

T.N: I will keep certain terms in the original Japanese. I will also keep the order of their names Last Name First Name like in Japanese. I think you already know the meaning of these words, but I will still give the English definition for those who don’t.

1. さん (san): This is a general, respectful suffix used to address or refer to someone. It's similar to "Mr.," "Mrs.," or "Ms." in English. It's commonly used for people of all ages and social statuses in both formal and informal contexts.

2. 君 (kun): This suffix is often used for addressing younger males, or in a more familiar or casual setting. It can be used with people of the same or lower status, and it's commonly used among friends, students, or in professional settings where there is a clear hierarchy (like between a superior and a subordinate).

3. 課長 (kachō): This term is used to refer to a managerial position in a company or organization, typically responsible for overseeing a specific section or department. It translates to "section chief" or "department head" in English.

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There are several turning points in life. For example, losing your father at the end of your twenties, losing your mother in your mid-thirties, and then having to leave the company you worked at for nearly twenty years at the age of forty-three.

All of these things are difficult, but recently, Kenji Yachi realized that the sadness and pain are mostly his own, and for others, they are just phenomena that end with a simple “Oh, I see.” But even so, there is no point in lamenting others' lack of interest. Just as there are only two parents for each person, emotions like these are likely distributed evenly. People don't have the luxury to be concerned about others.

"Yachi-san, hurry up and fill the tray with rice!"

Yachi, lost in thought, snapped back to reality when Kitaoka, a colleague in her forties with a tendency toward being overweight, shouted at him.

"Oh, right," he replied.

He hurriedly filled the lower half of a plastic tray, divided into four sections, with rice. After finishing his share of ingredients—potato salad, pickles, and chopped cabbage—Kitaoka, who had been waiting, roughly placed grilled salmon, half a croquette, and a meatball on top.

"Okay, one salmon bento ready!"

With a spirited voice, Kitaoka called out, and Ichihara, a 22-year-old housewife handling the register, turned around.

"Next, two seaweed bentos and three fried chicken bentos, please."

"Got it!"

This time, determined not to get reprimanded, Yachi quickly filled the trays with rice and added the ingredients. Despite the different names—seaweed bento, fried chicken bento—the side dishes were almost the same. Yachi thought he was moving as fast as he could, but Kitaoka seemed to find him slow and tapped the workbench with her tongs, her face red and beaded with sweat, urging him to hurry.

For about an hour, customers came in steadily, and he continued filling trays with rice without a break. Finally, after 2 PM, when the flow of customers started to slow, the manager told him he could take a break.

"I'll have a seaweed bento today," he said, ordering at the counter.

Ichihara, at the register, chuckled.

"Not 'today,' but 'as usual,' right? You always get the seaweed bento, Yachi-san. Since it’s staff meals, you can order something more expensive, you know."

"I just like this one..."

As they chatted, Kitaoka peeked out from the kitchen.

"If you keep eating such unnutritious food, you'll stay as thin as a reed. When a man gets older, he should put on a little weight to have some presence. You should hurry up and find a wife who can cook you delicious meals instead of eating our bentos all the time."

"Yachi-san, you're around the same age as my dad, but you don't have a belly, and you've got a good figure."

Yachi was shocked when the word "dad" came out of Ichihara’s mouth.

"How old is your dad?"

"My dad? He's forty-four. He's got a pot belly from middle age and looks terrible."

Yachi realized they were only a year apart in age. If he had married around twenty, it wouldn't be strange to have a daughter Ichihara’s age... But for Yachi, who had no ties to family life, it was hard to imagine having a child that age.

"Okay, one seaweed bento ready!"

Kitaoka placed the bento on the counter. Holding the freshly made meal, Yachi walked into the nearby children's park next to the bento shop.

Since it was Sunday, there were more families in the park compared to weekdays. Yachi sat on a bench in the shade, took a sip of tea he had bought from the vending machine at the park's entrance, and relaxed.

Yachi had started working part-time at the bento shop next to the park near his home three months ago, at the beginning of August. Although the shop had an employee break room, he chose to eat outside to avoid imposing on the women when they took breaks together. He soon discovered that eating under the open sky was more refreshing than he had imagined. Since then, as long as it wasn't raining, he always had his lunch on a park bench.

August had been hot, but as the months passed, it gradually cooled and then became cold. Since November began, the weather had turned chilly, even during the day, without a jacket.

When he worked at the well-known foreign company, he never had the time or mental space to notice the changing seasons. The department he was in was particularly busy compared to others. Even though he wasn’t on the fast track for promotion and mostly handled administrative tasks, spending all day at his computer, he never once left work on time.

In April of this year, an email titled "A New Outlook for Marshall's Factory," covering business, personnel systems, and financial accounting, was sent to all employees under the president's name. It was abrupt, especially for the beginning of the fiscal year, and hinted at a downsizing, which made everyone anxious about possible layoffs. Unfortunately, their fears were confirmed, and Yachi was one of those affected.

Red leaves rustled and rolled at his feet. Looking up, he saw patches of blue sky through the red canopy above.

Even a single maple tree can change its colors so vividly, he realized now. Not long ago, the ginkgo tree near the park's entrance was beautiful. Before that, asters bloomed by the pond. He remembered they once bloomed in his family’s garden, which made him feel nostalgic.

It feels extravagant, he thought. Although he was far from wealthy, he felt more content in his heart than ever before.

After quietly gazing around for a while, Yachi opened the bento box. A piece of fried chicken, which wasn't supposed to be in the seaweed bento, had been added, making him smile.

Leaves rustled above, and children’s voices echoed in the distance. As he enjoyed his meal, he heard the crunch of someone walking on the gravel. He looked up, and as soon as he recognized who it was, the peaceful feeling he had vanished.

Even though it was Sunday, the man was dressed in a suit. As Yachi watched, thinking it was odd, he noticed the travel bag in the man’s right hand.

"Hello," the man said, greeting him with emotionless eyes behind his glasses, without moving an eyebrow. His plain face, without expression, looked like a Noh mask.

"Oh, thank you." 

He placed his chopsticks on the bento tray and bowed deeply. This automatic response was like a reflex ingrained in him from nearly twenty years of working at the company. The man’s gaze briefly dropped to Yachi’s hands.

"Sorry to disturb you while you're eating."

"No, it’s fine. Are you on your way back from a business trip?"

"Yes, I just returned from Fukuoka."

Yachi wondered what business he had in the Fukuoka branch but quickly dismissed the thought. It was no longer his concern.

An awkward silence followed. The man made no move to leave, but neither did he seem inclined to start a conversation.

"Your bento looks delicious," the man murmured.

Yachi found himself feeling resentful, thinking that even with the cheapest seaweed bento, there was no reason to feel ashamed. He felt petty for interpreting the man’s comment as a disingenuous compliment, even though that might not have been the intention.

"I’m going to buy a bento to take home as well," the man added.

Yachi couldn’t help but think it would be better if the man just went and bought one without announcing it. He felt a wave of frustration at his own pettiness.

"Well then, see you later." 

The man seemed about to walk away but then suddenly stopped and looked up at the sky, staring intently at the red leaves swaying in the wind.

After the man’s upright figure finally disappeared from view, Yachi felt the tension drain from his shoulders. Even after leaving the company, he couldn’t stand seeing this man appear in his daily life.

Yoshihisa Haruno, who had been Yachi’s boss at the company from which he was laid off, started showing up at the bento shop where Yachi worked about a month after he began his part-time job, just as he was finally getting used to the work and the people.

It had been a Saturday, and it had been raining since morning. Around 1 PM, after the lunchtime rush, Yachi took over the register as Ichihara went on break. Usually, Yachi took his break first, but today Ichihara had an errand at the bank and left early.

There were fewer people on the streets than usual because of the rain. As Yachi absentmindedly watched the cars pass by through the glass, a dark shadow crossed in front of the window. Someone was folding an umbrella in front of the shop.

"Welcome," Yachi called out as a customer entered the shop. When the man lifted his face, Yachi recognized him and felt his cheeks stiffen. The man approached the counter and bowed slightly.

"I'm glad to see you’re doing well."

The man’s direct gaze made Yachi feel uneasy, even though this was supposed to be his own territory. He quickly looked away.

"Yes. And you’re looking well too, Haruno-san... What would you like to order?"

The man carefully scanned the surroundings like a private detective before ordering the most expensive "special bento."

Yachi thought it was a coincidence that Haruno had come to the shop where he worked and assumed he would never see him again. After all, if their roles were reversed, Yachi would have been considerate enough to avoid returning.

But contrary to his expectations, Haruno showed up again the next day, Sunday, just after noon, and ordered the same bento.

Since then, Haruno came to the shop almost every weekend to buy a bento. He always ordered the special bento, and if Yachi was at the register, they exchanged a few words.

Haruno seemed to be fond of the "special bento" from this shop, even to the extent of buying one every weekend, regardless of whether the former subordinate he had laid off was working there. Yachi had tried the bento himself, and while it was more visually appealing and pricier, it tasted like any ordinary bento.

A factory's siren echoed in the distance, snapping Yachi back to reality. Lunch break was nearly over. He hurriedly finished his bento and stood up from the bench. The unexpected encounter with Haruno during his break had left him lost in thought, causing him to forget his usual post-lunch stroll.

Back at the shop, Yachi thanked Kitaoka for the extra piece of fried chicken, and she smiled shyly, which seemed out of character for her bold personality and sturdy frame.

"By the way, your friend was here again—the special bento guy," Ichihara said as Yachi took over at the register and she removed her apron.

"I met him in the park."

"Hmm. He was in a suit today, right? Do you think he works on Sundays too?"

"He mentioned he was on a business trip."

Ichihara sighed softly.

"That guy always looks sharp, whether he's in casual clothes or a suit. I wish my husband would take even a little interest in fashion. Hey, isn’t he about ten years younger than you, Yachi-san?"

"Yes, that’s right."

"Do you have a thing for men like him?" Kitaoka appeared from the kitchen.

"But he’s so good-looking! If I weren’t married, I’d be interested."

Kitaoka shrugged, wiping her wet hands on her apron, seemingly unimpressed.

"Men like him are difficult. You never know what they're thinking."

"Really?" Ichihara tilted her head in confusion.

"Being unsociable and having no expression are different things. That guy isn’t very endearing."

Ichihara still looked unconvinced as she headed upstairs to the staff room on the second floor. Yachi exchanged glances with Kitaoka.

"Oh, I’m sorry for saying he’s not endearing, even though he’s someone you know."

Yachi gave a wry smile and replied, "It’s fine."

"I don't mind quiet men, but I prefer someone who can be a bit considerate of others, even if they're unsociable."

Yachi’s heart skipped a beat. Kitaoka knew he had been laid off.

"That guy stares at people’s faces when he talks, but you can’t read his expression. I wish he would be a bit more considerate of your feelings."

Yachi thought of responding but then decided against it. In the end, he could only manage a vague smile.

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