Chapter 3 End Roll - part 5

Previous TOC Next

───Take 5

After ten o'clock, the office tucked inside the hotel was empty. Yorozu Shirosaki, just about ready to leave, heard the familiar ping of a message notification.

Where are you right now? The message was from his friend Kasuga. Yorozu replied, Still at work. Heading out soon. What's up? Kasuga messaged back with an emoji of a person bowing deeply in apology: I need to pick up the collection. Can you hang around the office a bit longer? Please!

Not thrilled about staying late, Yorozu slumped back in his chair. Since college, he’d been roped into Kasuga’s countless requests, and somehow, the friendship endured even now into their thirties—he’d even delivered the best man’s speech at Kasuga’s wedding. Not that Yorozu thought much about it, but to the outside world, this might look like one of those inseparable, almost fated friendships.

“…Wait, so he’s picking up the collection.” Yorozu took a key from his desk drawer, unlocking the door in the corner of the office. Inside sat Kasuga’s treasured stash of DVDs—of course, adult DVDs. Before Kasuga got married, he’d begged Yorozu to “just keep these safe,” unable to part with them entirely. Yorozu’s hotel, conveniently located between Kasuga’s apartment and the video production company where he worked, made it easy for Kasuga to stop by.

Since college, Kasuga had loved AV and defied his parents to land a job at a top AV company. But just before graduation, the company went bankrupt. He was left jobless, devastated, until Yoshida, sympathizing with his plight, helped him find a position in his own video production company. Now, while working under Yoshida, Kasuga was training to be a director. Though he’d always said, “Someday, I’ll make AV,” marriage had pretty much dashed that dream. These days, he’s set his sights on producing R-rated mainstream films with the same, shall we say, “artistic energy” as his beloved genre, casting his favorite actresses in roles that toe the line.

With some time to kill, Yorozu opened the photo folder on his phone. He had quite a few pictures of Tokame. Despite photographing others for work, Tokame hated having his own picture taken and would always make a weird face for the camera. So, Yorozu mostly had photos of Tokame sleeping. His “sleeping Tokame” collection was surprisingly extensive and organized by year—he couldn’t help but find it amusing. More than ten years together, but damn, Tokame’s still good-looking.

Footsteps echoed down the hallway, and as Yorozu looked over, the office door swung open with a bang.

“Sorry, sorry!” Kasuga burst in, dressed casually in a jacket and jeans, looking every bit like an off-duty businessman enjoying the weekend. The hotel staff didn’t pay him any mind; after countless visits, he was known as “the boss’s friend” and could come and go without issue.

“We just met last week,” Yorozu pointed out flatly. Kasuga tilted his head, “Oh, did we?”

“Anyway, here’s a little something.” Kasuga handed over a box of local sweets.

“It’s supposed to be delicious. The lady at the rest stop swore by it,” he said cheerily. Kasuga’s charm—bright and instantly friendly—was his strong suit.

“You went up north?” Yorozu asked.

“Yeah, went out to Tokame’s hometown,” Kasuga replied nonchalantly.

Yorozu nearly dropped the sweets. “Wait, w-what for?”

“You know about the movie Tokame and Yoshida are making, right?”

“Yeah, I heard they’re starting filming around next spring.”

“Tokame’s the model for the main character. Yoshida wanted to get a sense of the story’s atmosphere, so we went for a bit of scouting, checking out possible locations and such.”

Yorozu couldn’t stop himself from exclaiming, “What?” He’d known Yoshida was writing the screenplay but hadn’t realized that Tokame was the model. Tokame barely talked about himself, and Yorozu was stunned that he’d agreed to share his past so openly with others.

"We were actually planning to visit several places connected to Tokame, but at the first stop—a local park—we just happened to meet an elementary school kid whose father was Tokame’s classmate. Talk about timing. Figured it must be fate, so we ended up talking to his father," Kasuga explained.

A classmate of Tokame’s? Yorozu’s mind flashed back over a decade. “Would that happen to be Ninomiya?”

“How’d you know?” Kasuga looked genuinely surprised.

“Back when I was a student, he helped me out with some things for the hotel. I think he was probably Tokame’s best friend.”

Kasuga gave a small clap, as if it all clicked into place. “That’s why he seemed to know so much about Tokame,” he said, moving to the locked cabinet, where he began carefully choosing from his collection of DVDs.

“Your wife’s out tonight?”

“Yeah, on an overnight trip to Osaka with some friends for a concert. Man, I tried to convince her to take me with her,” Kasuga said with a laugh, selecting two DVDs and turning back to Yorozu. “Hey, have you eaten yet? If not, want to grab something?”

Yorozu would normally go along, but he planned to visit his parents’ house tonight for his father’s memorial tomorrow. His mother had likely made dinner and was waiting for him. In her thirties, his mother had undergone major heart surgery, but she’d recovered well and now helped manage the administrative side of Yorozu’s hotel. To ensure she didn’t strain herself, Yorozu kept her on a strict nine-to-five schedule with no overtime.

A few years ago, when a redevelopment project forced them to vacate his father’s old hotel, the family had moved to a rental apartment. Yorozu, who’d already moved out, only went back to visit his mom, who now lived there alone after his brother Satoru also left for work. Whenever Tokame traveled, Yorozu would drop by to check in on her. Though he hadn’t told her about his relationship with Tokame, she knew they lived together. She might suspect, but she’d never asked. It’s hard to find the right moment for that kind of conversation. Whatever she might say, Yorozu wouldn’t end things with Tokame, but he didn’t want to hurt her or burden her with his choices.

Though he’d declined dinner, Kasuga insisted on dropping Yorozu off at his mother’s apartment.

“Apparently, Ninomiya’s son has a similar vibe to Tokame back in his student days. He’s an amateur, but he’s got a good look,” Kasuga said while driving. Tokame back in school… Yorozu had never seen him then, but the thought made his heart beat a little faster.

“Sounds like someone I’d want to meet,” Yorozu said.

“You might get to. On the way back, Yoshida was saying it’d be interesting to have him play the younger Tokame in the movie. We’ll see how it works out, since he’s not a professional,” Kasuga added. Between the movie, the script, and the casting, things were picking up fast. Before he knew it, they’d arrived in front of the apartment.

“I’ll be back to return these DVDs sometime,” Kasuga called out, waving as he left. At Kasuga’s wedding, his mother had quietly asked Yorozu to “hire him at your hotel if he ever ends up unemployed again,” but it seemed she had nothing to worry about.

“I’m home,” Yorozu called out as he stepped inside and slowly took off his shoes. Tired and hungry, he stifled a yawn as he walked into the living room, only to find his younger brother, Satoru, on the sofa.

“Oh, you’re back too?” Yorozu asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah, but what about you? Why are you here?” Satoru asked.

“…Tomorrow is Dad’s memorial.”

“Oh, right.” Satoru looked like he’d forgotten. Their mother poked her head out of the kitchen, smiling as she said, “Welcome home, Yorozu. I’ll have dinner ready in just a moment.”

Yorozu handed Satoru the box of sweets Kasuga had brought. “Here, you can have this.”

“Oh, wow, these are famous! Where’d you get them?” Satoru asked.

“Kasuga gave them to me.”

“Nice. He comes by the café where I work pretty often. I’ll make sure to thank him next time.” Satoru tore open the package eagerly, and when his mother brought dinner to the table, Yorozu shrugged off his jacket, loosened his tie, and started on his tuna rice bowl.

"…Good evening."

Yorozu spun around, startled by the voice behind him. Satoru's girlfriend, Midori, had entered the living room, dressed in a long-sleeved T-shirt and comfortable cotton pants. Quickly, Yorozu rose from his chair.

"Oh, thank you again for all the help with the outfits," Yorozu said with a respectful bow.

Midori returned his gesture, looking a bit embarrassed. "Oh, it was nothing, really." A while back, Yorozu had appeared on TV, and it was Midori, who worked in fashion, who had helped him select his suit and accessories. When they’d first met, he’d been too surprised by her dreadlocks to notice much else, but talking with her, he’d found she was bright and easygoing.

"By the way, big news, bro," Satoru suddenly chimed in. "I told Mom already, but Midori and I are getting married."

The announcement left Yorozu’s mind blank. He knew they were dating, but marriage? Though, Satoru was nearly thirty...

"And, next year, we're having a baby."

Another bombshell. Yorozu’s brain momentarily froze, while Satoru and Midori exchanged warm smiles, blissfully unaware of his shock. Without thinking, Yorozu found himself rushing over to Satoru.

“What…what did you do to this young woman?”

Satoru and the others looked at Yorozu, all of them wide-eyed.

“Getting her pregnant before marriage? What am I supposed to say to her parents?”

He braced himself, imagining a few—maybe ten—punches from her father.

“Don’t worry, Yorozu. I’ve already gone to meet her parents,” his mother reassured him with a gentle smile. “They’re such wonderful people.”

"But no one even told me…"

“Well, you know,” Satoru said, pulling his legs up on the sofa and wrapping his arms around his knees, “you’re always so busy, and if I’d told you, I knew you’d make a big deal out of it.”

That’s true, Yorozu thought, sinking heavily back into his chair, his shoulders sagging. He’d missed the chance to meet Midori’s parents before the announcement, but maybe I should still introduce myself as his brother…and his father figure. And, speaking of introductions—

“What about the wedding?” he asked.

Satoru shook his head. “We talked it over, and we figured maybe we could skip it. You know, since we’re low on funds.”

“No, no, you have to have a ceremony. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing for Midori, and I’ll cover the costs.”

Satoru shrank into the couch. “It’s fine, really, bro… Besides, isn’t the hotel keeping you busy?”

“Managing the finances is my responsibility. A wedding’s no problem. Also, I still need to meet Midori’s parents myself. We’re bringing their daughter into our family, after all.”

Satoru gave him a sulky look, and then Midori, soon to be family herself, let out a light laugh. “He really is like your father, isn’t he?”

Maybe I went a bit overboard, Yorozu thought, feeling his face grow hot.

“Yorozu’s just looking out for you,” his mother said, patting him kindly on the back. “He’s done so much as a father figure to you all these years. Thank you, Yorozu. Next year, our family’s growing. How wonderful it’ll be, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, yeah, so you can just relax with Tokame…” Satoru said, then slapped a hand over his mouth, realizing what he’d let slip. Yorozu gulped.

“...Relax with Tokame? What do you mean by that?”

Satoru shot a pleading look to their mother, who glanced at Midori, who in turn looked back to Satoru. The responsibility circled back to him.

“Well, I mean…yeah, I just mean you should feel free to live with Tokame. Midori and I, we plan to have a big family, so we’ll carry on the family name for you.”

Despite Satoru’s casual tone, Yorozu felt a cold sweat prickling his back. So…they all know. He glanced nervously at his mother, who smiled gently at him.

“Bring Tokame over sometime,” she said warmly.

“But, I…” Yorozu began, hesitant. Two men, with such a big age gap, and…what would people say?

“My happiness,” his mother said, looking into his eyes, “is for my children to be with the ones they love and to live happily, just as I did.”

A warmth swelled in Yorozu’s chest, and he nearly choked up. Hold it in, he told himself. Don’t let them see you cry. But he knew he would. There was no holding back.

“…I’m going to bed.”

With just that, Yorozu left the living room. The futon was already laid out in the guest room, the one he always used when he came back home. He collapsed face-down onto it.

His mother, Satoru, and Midori all probably knew by now. And yet, there had been nothing like he’d feared—no disappointment, no disgust. Thank goodness.

He’d planned never to say anything about it. There were plenty of people who chose to live their whole lives single, after all. He felt as though a heavy burden had been lifted, leaving him with a strange, calming sense of relief. A few quiet tears slipped out, and his mind cleared.

Unable to hold back, he wanted to talk, needed to talk, even if he risked interrupting his partner at work. He dialed Tokame’s number.

“Yeah?” Tokame’s voice connected after just two rings.

“What were you doing just now?”

“About to go to sleep.”

“Are you at home?”

He heard a small yawn from Tokame.

“Got off work early, had a few drinks. …Did something happen?”

“Why do you think that?”

“What?”

“Why’d you ask if something happened?”

“You don’t usually call this late.”

“…I just really wanted to hear your voice.”

It wasn’t a lie. He could practically feel Tokame’s smile over the line.

“When I got home, Satoru and his girlfriend were here, and he told me they’re getting married.”

“That kid’s getting married, huh?”

“If he hears you calling him a ‘kid’ even now, he’ll get mad at you. Besides, they’re having a baby next year.”

“I see,” Tokame replied. “Your family’s growing.”

“Yes.”

For some reason, tears started flowing again as he spoke. He sniffed.

“You’re… crying?”

“It’s happy tears… I think.”

“You think? What’s that mean, you think?”

“I just wish you were here with me right now.”

He wanted to tell Tokame that his family accepted them. He wanted to share his joy. He wanted to let him know they could all be a family together.

“I love you, Tokame. And I think I’ll always love you.”

The words, ones he’d usually feel shy to say, came out naturally.

“Even though you’re just an old man by now… I wonder why.”

“‘An old man’ might be fair, but that’s still a bit much,” Tokame grumbled, sounding slightly sulky, making Yorozu laugh.

“And if you’re gonna say sweet things like that, you should at least say it to my face, not over the phone.”

Yorozu could picture him perfectly—a little embarrassed, maybe looking down just a bit. He wanted to see that face. He wanted to be with him. He couldn’t wait.

“I’m coming home now.”

“You’re what? But—”

Yorozu ended the call, pushing himself up from the futon. Back in the living room, he grabbed his tie and jacket. His mother and the others looked up from their tea, turning to him.

“Um… I just remembered something. I need to head back.”

“Right now? It’s late, you know,” his mother said, glancing at the clock. It was already past eleven.

“Sorry. I’ll be back in the morning.”

He dashed out of the house and through the quiet residential streets toward the subway station. In less than twenty minutes, he’d be with Tokame.

Once he got home, he’d kiss him first thing, then spend the whole night in his arms. Impatiently waiting for the train, Yorozu pulled up a picture of Tokame on his phone. Pretending they were on a call, he rubbed his cheek against the image of his sleeping partner.

Previous TOC Next