That Person: Chapter 6

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The progress on Kadowaki’s thesis was smooth. With a lecturer dedicated to helping him one-on-one, by the end of October, his thesis was nearly complete.

It was after the fourth period, as Kadowaki was crossing the campus to head home, that Mashiba called out to him.

“I need to talk to you,” Mashiba said, dragging him to a nearby café.

“Hey, haven’t you been avoiding us lately?” Mashiba asked, sipping his café latte while deftly typing a message on his phone with one hand.

“You’re skipping mixers and group hangouts. I called you yesterday, but you didn’t pick up. You’ve already secured a job, haven’t you? Are you working part-time at night or something?”

The truth was, this week, Kadowaki had spent almost every other night at Matsushita’s apartment. Mashiba’s calls were usually invitations to drink, and since declining them after answering was such a hassle, Kadowaki had been avoiding callbacks unless there was a voicemail.

“I’ve just been busy,” Kadowaki replied.

“Busy, huh? Oh, wait—did you get a girlfriend or something?” Mashiba’s probing gaze made Kadowaki’s spine tingle. Could he have figured out about Matsushita? Kadowaki looked down, trying to suppress his unease.

“No way,” Kadowaki said, denying it a little too emphatically.

“You don’t have to deny it so strongly. Oh yeah, this morning—I saw you with Matsushita.”

Kadowaki’s palms were sweaty. He had stayed at Matsushita’s place last night, and since they both had morning classes, they had left the apartment together. Walking side by side hadn’t felt unnatural at the time.

“We just ran into each other on the way,” Kadowaki said.

“Sure, I know you live near each other, but you’re with him a lot. I live in the same apartment complex as a guy from our seminar, but we hardly ever run into each other.”

Even though it wasn’t hot, Kadowaki felt sweat running down his sides.

“Well, it’s obvious Matsushita likes you,” Mashiba said, leaning back casually. Kadowaki’s heart pounded. Did Mashiba know something?

“By the way, I heard from a senior that Matsushita freely lends books to seminar students. Is that true?” Mashiba asked, shifting the topic, much to Kadowaki’s relief.

“He does lend books. I’ve borrowed from him a few times,” Kadowaki said.

Mashiba leaned forward. “Do you have to contact him in advance for that?”

“Yeah, usually. He has his own schedule to consider.”

“And what about you? How do you do it?”

Kadowaki couldn’t admit that he practically lived at Matsushita’s place. “I usually ask about his availability during the seminar.”

“Got it. I’m stuck on my thesis, so maybe I’ll borrow some books and get his advice while I’m at it. Oh, wait—I almost forgot why I called you here.”

Mashiba suddenly grinned mischievously and looked up at Kadowaki.

“You don’t have a girlfriend, right? Well, there’s someone who’s interested in you. I just messaged her, and she’s nearby. She’ll be here soon.”

Kadowaki was taken aback by the abruptness of it all.

“Wait, meeting her out of nowhere like this...”

“You don’t have plans, do you? Just talk to her. She’s pretty cute. I thought she was nice too, but she’s into you, so I figured I’d set you two up.”

Before Kadowaki could come up with a way to handle the situation, Mashiba waved toward someone behind him.

“Hey, over here!”

Turning around, Kadowaki saw a petite girl bowing slightly. Her bob haircut suited her, and her pale skin was dotted with faint freckles around her nose.

“Your message came out of nowhere, so I was surprised,” she said, her tone calm and unhurried.

“Sorry about that. Kadowaki’s been hard to pin down lately,” Mashiba apologized, then formally introduced her to Kadowaki.

“You might have seen her around—this is Aizawa Natsumi from the Home Economics Department.”

Aizawa smiled warmly, her gentle demeanor radiating as she greeted Kadowaki.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

He had met Aizawa three times. Each time, she had been the one to reach out first.

“I’m not interested in dating anyone,” he had told her plainly from the beginning.

“That’s fine; we can just be friends,” she had replied. When he admitted, “Being expected to meet someone’s hopes feels like a burden,” she had laughed and said, “I won’t expect anything.” She had a calm demeanor and a soft way of speaking, but her words were always direct. Her smile was endearing.

After the third meeting, when he returned home, he found himself imagining what a future with Aizawa might look like. It was a normal line of thought for any man, he told himself, nothing to feel awkward about. Yet, a faint guilt lingered. He knew exactly who this guilt was for, which made the feeling all the harder to shake.

While he hadn’t decided to pursue a relationship with Aizawa, he knew it was time to put an end to things with Matsushita. He had felt that way for a while, yet he had let it drag on. At first, it was because he didn’t want to hurt Matsushita, but now it was more out of inertia than anything else.

On the day he resolved to finally tell Matsushita it was over, Kadowaki carried a borrowed book in hand and rang the intercom at Matsushita’s apartment. Matsushita promptly answered and welcomed him inside. As soon as they entered the study, Matsushita embraced him and called his name.

“Naofumi.”

Recently, Matsushita’s home had become a frequent gathering place for students. Back in May, Matsushita had mentioned a “battle for books” would begin, and Kadowaki now understood how true that prediction was. He felt grateful to have finished his thesis early; the chaos surrounding Matsushita’s study was remarkable. To manage the influx, Matsushita had limited access to his study to 7 p.m., ensuring the students dispersed in the early evening. Consequently, Kadowaki had started visiting Matsushita’s apartment after 8 p.m., which naturally reduced his visits and, with them, the frequency of their intimacy.

This evening’s kiss was their first in about a week. It was long, passionate, and left Kadowaki breathless. As Matsushita’s lips trailed along his neck, Kadowaki realized where things were heading. He knew that if they had sex, bringing up the topic of ending their relationship would become even harder. Regretting that he had let things go so far, he tried to interject: “I have something to talk about.”

“Later,” Matsushita murmured dismissively, his hands insistent. Surrendering to the inevitable, Kadowaki gave up resisting. They had sex.

Matsushita clung to him, kissed him all over. Kadowaki didn’t resist, and he knew that made his eventual protest—telling Matsushita he no longer wanted this—utterly unconvincing. At first, the acts had been physically painful for Kadowaki, his body unresponsive. But over time, he had grown accustomed to it. Now, there were moments when he even found himself feeling pleasure.

Though he wanted to end the relationship, Kadowaki couldn’t deny that being treated with affection, even physically, was not unpleasant. Matsushita had shown him that the tenderness expressed through touch could be comforting. As the eldest sibling in his family, Kadowaki had rarely been doted on—his younger siblings had always been the ones to receive such attention. Being petted like a child and cared for at this age felt strange at first, but over time, he found it incredibly soothing.

The sheets were disheveled, their legs tangled. His lower body felt numb from the experience. He wondered what Aizawa would think if she saw him like this. She might scream and run away.

“I know you’ve secured a job…” Matsushita’s voice cut into his thoughts, drowsy and low. His sentence trailed off before continuing after a brief pause. “Have you considered going to graduate school?”

Matsushita’s fingers brushed Kadowaki’s neck gently, like one might stroke a cat.

“I still have siblings below me. I can’t just take it easy on my own,” Kadowaki replied.

“If you decide to pursue further studies, I’ll cover the tuition,” Matsushita said.

Startled, Kadowaki turned to look at him. Matsushita’s face was earnest.

"That doesn't mean I expect anything in return from you," Matsushita said gently. "If you have the desire to continue your research, I'd like to help however I can."

For a fleeting moment, Kadowaki let himself imagine a dreamlike future—devoting himself entirely to studying mathematics, just as Matsushita had. But reality quickly reasserted itself.

"Being able to study at the university level has been enough for me," Kadowaki replied. "I'm grateful for the offer, though."

Matsushita's expression turned sorrowful, and the sight of his sadness tugged at Kadowaki's chest. A kiss seemed inevitable, and the touch of Matsushita's lips brought him back to the present.

"I love you," Matsushita whispered, words he had repeated countless times. Kadowaki had grown accustomed to hearing them, even internalizing them in a resigned way. But today was different. Today, he had resolved to speak his mind. Sitting on the bed, he faced Matsushita, who mirrored his position.

"I… I need to talk to you," Kadowaki began hesitantly. How should he say it? Would it be best to start with "I can't do this anymore"? While he fumbled for the right words, Matsushita suddenly let out a small "Ah."

"Oh, I almost forgot. I have something I wanted to give you," Matsushita said.

He slipped out of bed, still naked, and returned holding three old, worn booklets. They looked like stamp collection albums.

"I found these while sorting through my father’s belongings," he explained.

He handed them to Kadowaki, who turned on the bedside lamp and gasped in astonishment. Each album was filled with rare and highly sought-after stamps, all meticulously preserved in full sheets.

"Are these… valuable?" Kadowaki asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"They’re incredible," Kadowaki murmured, flipping through the pages with trembling fingers. "These stamps could fetch tens of thousands of yen among collectors. Oh, look! A railway series!"

He carefully removed a sheet from the album, excitement radiating from him. His hands shook as he examined it closely.

"I remember my father was particular about keeping stamps in sheets. Does separating them lower their value?" Matsushita asked curiously.

"Keeping them in sheets makes them much more valuable," Kadowaki explained, almost breathlessly.

"I see," Matsushita replied with a soft smile.

"This one," Kadowaki said, pointing to a commemorative stamp. "It’s from when the Hokuriku railway opened. It’s not that old, but there weren’t many issued. It’s a rare find."

As he turned each page, Kadowaki’s excitement grew. Among the collection, he found stamps he had once owned but lost in the fire. Overcome with joy, he began talking animatedly about the collection, oblivious to Matsushita’s bemused and fond expressions. When he finally finished examining the albums, the sheer value of the collection made him hesitant. He placed them on the side table.

"I can’t accept these," Kadowaki said firmly.

"Why not?" Matsushita tilted his head, genuinely puzzled.

"Some of these sheets are worth tens of thousands of yen. I can’t possibly…"

"These stamps mean nothing to me," Matsushita interrupted. "But they clearly mean a lot to you. My father would have been happier knowing they ended up with someone who truly appreciates them. Please, take them."

Kadowaki glanced at the albums again, the desire in his heart undeniable. But still, he hesitated.

"Even so…"

"How about we make a deal, then?" Matsushita suggested.

"A deal?"

"There are three albums. For each one, you give me a kiss. From you, not the other way around."

"That’s a pretty cheap price," Kadowaki said, half-amused.

Matsushita laughed. "For me, it’s worth everything. If it’s a kiss from you, nothing else matters."

Kadowaki couldn’t help but laugh along, feeling the tension between them ease, if only a little.

"Installments or all at once?"

It was meant as a joke, but Matsushita replied earnestly, "All at once."

He was sitting on the bed, legs stretched out, leaning casually against the wall. Kadowaki crawled across the bed on all fours, kneeling on Matsushita's thighs. He had been kissed many times but had never initiated a kiss himself. Unsure how to proceed, he hesitated before realizing that kissing without support would be unstable. He placed his hands on Matsushita's shoulders, steadying himself, and then kissed him—three times.

On the third kiss, Matsushita wrapped his arms around Kadowaki, pulling him close until they both tumbled onto the bed.

"Naofumi," Matsushita murmured.

Kadowaki could feel the roughness of his stubbled lips, the solid weight of Matsushita's lean frame, and the laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. His calm voice and the softness of his hair, so much gentler than he had imagined, lingered in his senses. The sweetness of the moment collided with a sudden reminder—the stamp collection file flashed through his mind.

"You said you had something to talk about, didn’t you?" Matsushita asked, his tone soft but curious.

Caught in the haze of the intimate atmosphere and the lingering thought of the stamps, Kadowaki heard himself say, "…I forgot."

Even as the words left his mouth, he knew he was nothing short of a coward.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Even though Kadowaki had finished his thesis, the joint research project kept him busy through January, often staying at the university until late at night. With only three to four hours of sleep each day, his mind felt perpetually clouded. Still, by mid-January, he had managed to make progress. It was around then that he ran into Yoshimoto on campus.

They hadn't had lunch together or seen much of each other lately, so it had been about two weeks since they’d last talked properly. They decided to catch up over lunch, and with both of them free during the third period, they ventured outside. However, it was snowing and bitterly cold. They ended up settling for a nearby family restaurant, an uninspired but convenient choice. As Yoshimoto brushed the accumulated snow off his coat, Kadowaki noticed a large adhesive bandage on the middle finger of his left hand.

“What happened to your finger?”

“Oh,” Yoshimoto waved his left hand lightly, dismissively. “I was cooking, and I nicked it with a knife.”

Kadowaki couldn’t recall Yoshimoto ever mentioning cooking before.

“Mikasa said he wanted curry out of nowhere, so I went out of my way to make it for him. This is what I get. It's the worst.”

Though he said "the worst," there was no real bitterness in Yoshimoto's tone.

“By the way, I meant to tell you—I’m moving next month. After some thought, I’ve decided to live with Mikasa.”

Yoshimoto shrugged as he spoke.

“He’s practically living at my place anyway, so it won’t be that different. The only thing is, once we’re officially living together, even when I want to be alone, Mikasa will still be there. I might get tired of it, but I figured I’d give it a try. We already argue all the time, so maybe it won’t last. But who knows?”

Though he expressed some concerns, it was clear from Yoshimoto’s expression that he wasn’t conflicted about the decision. After placing their orders, Yoshimoto lit a cigarette.

“Speaking of relationships, what about you? You’ve been seeing someone, haven’t you?”

“No.”

The denial was immediate, but Yoshimoto countered just as quickly. “Liar.”

“I saw you walking with a girl from the Home Economics department. Mikasa said you haven’t been telling him anything lately, and he’s been whining about it.”

“…We met a few times, but I told her I couldn’t date her, and that was the end of it. That was last year.”

“Not your type?”

“No.”

If anything, she might have been close to his ideal type.

“Then why didn’t you go for it?”

“Yeah… maybe I should have.”

Kadowaki’s muttered response prompted Yoshimoto to tilt his head, puzzled.

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s too vague. If you’re interested, you date them. If you’re not, you don’t. You’re usually pretty clear about that, aren’t you?”

Kadowaki’s hesitation had started six months ago. A relationship he couldn’t label as black or white had dragged on indefinitely. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Matsushita that he wanted to end things, and as a result, he couldn’t move forward with Aizawa either. In mid-December, he finally told her, “We shouldn’t even be friends,” and ended things for good.

He had spent both Christmas and New Year’s with Matsushita. For Christmas, they ate cake at Matsushita’s apartment, and for New Year’s, they visited a shrine together. Smoke curled in front of him as Yoshimoto lit his second cigarette.

“I thought you quit smoking.”

“I don’t smoke at home, that’s all.”

Kadowaki stopped himself from asking why. It was likely because Mikasa didn’t smoke. Mikasa wouldn’t tell Yoshimoto to stop smoking outright, but Yoshimoto was the type to be considerate without saying so aloud.

"What’s the difference, really?"

The words spilled out of Kadowaki’s mouth without warning. Yoshimoto, walking beside him, turned with a quizzical "Hm?"

“What’s the difference between love and friendship?”

“What’s with that all of a sudden?” Yoshimoto chuckled.

Kadowaki had experienced love before, albeit sparingly. The emotions he had felt then were entirely different from what he now felt for Matsushita. If his relationship with Matsushita wasn’t love, then what was it? Words like “complacency” and “habit” crossed his mind, leaving a bitter taste.

“Do you like a girl or something?”

“I don’t know if I do.”

Kadowaki’s honesty made Yoshimoto burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

Yoshimoto’s face broke into an amused grin.

“It’s just so like you—getting all serious and overthinking whether you like someone or not.”

“Is that so?”

Yoshimoto pointed to Kadowaki’s chest.

“You don’t need to stress over it. When you really like someone, you’ll realize it so clearly it’ll make you feel dumb for ever doubting it. It’ll mess you up inside.”

If such a realization came with the kind of inner turmoil Yoshimoto described, it would at least make things clear. Instead, Kadowaki’s heart felt devoid of any emotion, leaving him at a loss.

“Humans really are just animals, huh?”

“What kind of enlightened nonsense is that?” Yoshimoto shrugged.

“Even without love, people can have sex out of sheer desire.”

“I won’t argue that,” Yoshimoto said. “But sex with someone you love has a value all its own.”

“Value?”

“It’s… fulfilling on an emotional level. That alone can make you climax.”

The sly, almost seductive look Yoshimoto gave made Kadowaki uncomfortable.

“It’s like this—touch is the same, but when it’s someone you love, it feels a hundred times better. You just… feel more.”

Matsushita’s touch came to mind. Though Kadowaki’s body had initially been unresponsive, he had grown accustomed to it, and now he reacted when Matsushita touched him. He even felt good during climax, but that was all. Kadowaki had no basis for comparison, as he had never experienced sex with someone he truly loved.

After parting ways with Yoshimoto at the restaurant, Kadowaki returned to campus to finish his joint research project. The work had reached near completion, so they wrapped up by 7 p.m., an unusually early finish. Kadowaki grabbed dinner at a beef bowl chain and began the walk home along the riverbank. From the distance, he noticed the lights on in Matsushita’s apartment. Even though it had been nearly nine months since Kadowaki had moved into his new place after the fire in May, he still hadn’t grown used to it. Matsushita’s apartment felt more like home—the library-like room full of books, the soft springy bed…

Not wanting to return to his dim, lonely apartment, Kadowaki found himself entering the lobby of Matsushita’s building.

Matsushita was in his study, engrossed in writing. When Kadowaki arrived, he barely looked up, muttering, “Oh, you’re here.” Respecting his focus, Kadowaki quietly sat in a corner and read. An hour passed, maybe two. Then, Matsushita brought over a cup of coffee and placed it on the table beside him.

“Thank you,” Kadowaki said.

The coffee, as usual, had a hint of honey. Kadowaki could drink it black, but Matsushita always added just a little honey, almost compulsively.

“I saw you near campus today at a restaurant,” Matsushita said, sitting down beside him, perhaps taking a break.

It must have been when Kadowaki was with Yoshimoto at the family restaurant.

“I just caught a glimpse from outside, but you seemed to be getting along well with the person you were with.”

“Yoshimoto’s a friend from high school,” Kadowaki replied.

Matsushita’s fingers brushed through Kadowaki’s hair, tracing his earlobe, then tilting his chin upward. The kiss tasted of coffee. Kadowaki wondered if Matsushita had misunderstood his interaction with Yoshimoto, but since Matsushita didn’t press further, Kadowaki left it unaddressed as well.

"You..."

Matsushita started to say something but stopped, smiling wistfully.

"Tomorrow, I’m going to Kobe. I’ll be away for three days."

"I see," Kadowaki replied.

Matsushita fixed him with an unwavering gaze, a silence stretching between them.

"Aren’t you going to ask why I’m going to Kobe?"

"Is it for a conference?"

Kadowaki vaguely recalled no such schedule, but he asked anyway. Matsushita didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled Kadowaki into a forceful embrace.

With a sense of inevitability, Kadowaki heard the softly spoken words, "Don’t leave tonight," resonating sweetly in his ears, a seductive plea that made his chest tighten.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

It was an extremely cold day in early February. Snow that had fallen the night before remained unmelted through the afternoon, leaving patches of white along the edges of the roads. Breath visible in the frosty air, Kadowaki arrived at Matsushita's apartment feeling chilled to the bone.

With the submission of graduation theses complete, Matsushita's study—once bustling with students—had become eerily quiet. As Kadowaki returned borrowed books to their places, he found himself tidying the shelves. From behind, Matsushita embraced him. Although Kadowaki resisted, uncomfortable with the idea of intimacy while daylight still streamed through the windows, he eventually gave in, and they had sex.

Lying entwined in bed under the bright sunlight, Kadowaki couldn’t help feeling a twinge of guilt. As they lazed in their shared comfort, Matsushita suddenly said, “Let me celebrate your graduation.”

“Isn’t it a bit early for that?” Kadowaki asked.

Matsushita smiled. “It’s just an excuse. I’d like to have dinner with you outside.”

As he brushed the sweat-dampened hair from Kadowaki’s forehead, Matsushita kissed him. “I’ve already made a reservation for seven o’clock. Please don’t decline.”

Glancing at the clock, Kadowaki saw the hands pointing to three in the afternoon.

“Let’s nap for a bit and then head out,” Matsushita suggested.

Cradled in Matsushita’s arms, Kadowaki drifted off for a short sleep. Waking at five, they began getting ready. Matsushita handed Kadowaki a suit, explaining that the restaurant had a dress code. Although Kadowaki initially declined, calling it an unnecessary extravagance for a pre-graduation celebration, Matsushita’s persistence won him over, and he put on the suit.

Kadowaki expected they’d take the train, but Matsushita had arranged for a taxi. Their destination was a hotel, with a restaurant on its top floor. The elegant atmosphere was overwhelming for Kadowaki, whose dining experiences had mostly been limited to casual restaurants and fast food with friends. The window-side table they were shown offered a stunning view of the city lights.

Matsushita recommended several wines for Kadowaki, and the food and drinks were exquisite. Yet, Matsushita seemed unusually quiet, speaking even less than usual. After the dessert plates were cleared, he finally broke the silence, calling Kadowaki’s name.

“Naofumi, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Fingers clasped on the table, Matsushita’s gaze bore into Kadowaki. Sensing the gravity of his words, Kadowaki set down his coffee cup.

“I’m planning to resign from the university at the end of March,” Matsushita said.

Kadowaki couldn’t hide his shock. A lifelong academic like Matsushita leaving the university seemed unthinkable.

“I’ve received an offer from a private university in Kobe. They’ve been reaching out since the year before last, and after much deliberation, I’ve decided to accept. I’ll be joining as a professor, with the opportunity to pursue my research.”

“That’s… good news,” Kadowaki managed to say.

Having never traveled west of Kyoto except for a school trip, Kobe felt like an impossibly distant place.

“I visited recently to confirm my decision and to familiarize myself with the area. It’s quiet, lush with greenery, and seems like a very livable city.”

Matsushita’s words trailed off into silence. After a brief pause, he spoke again.

“I want you to come with me to Kobe.”

Kadowaki felt his expression stiffen.

“Would you assist me at the university there? I’d also like you to consider pursuing graduate studies—maybe not this year, but starting next year. I’ll cover your tuition. If that’s not acceptable, I can lend you the money instead.”

This was no longer a situation that could be evaded with vague responses. Kadowaki clasped his fingers on his lap, taking a deep breath before speaking.

“I decided to stop studying mathematics after university. Besides, I’ve already secured a job.”

He stated the facts plainly.

“I see. Understood.”

Matsushita’s reply was surprisingly subdued. His simple acknowledgment seemed to signal acceptance of Kadowaki’s decision not to join him. Lowering his gaze, Matsushita ran a hand through his hair.

"Even though I knew it was impossible, I couldn't resist the word 'possibility' and had to ask," Matsushita murmured with a bitter smile.

"You’re a kind person. I knew you were forcing yourself to be with me. I also knew that you didn’t enjoy those acts with me, yet I pretended not to notice. I’m sorry for wasting such an important time in your life as a student on someone like me."

Matsushita bit his lip as he spoke. Kadowaki didn’t feel like the time had been wasted—he truly didn’t—but he still couldn’t find the right words to describe the strange relationship they had shared. As he looked at Matsushita’s pained expression, he wanted to offer some kind of comfort but couldn’t find the appropriate words.

"I love you. Even though I knew I was a burden to you, I was so happy to be with you. These past six months, having you by my side, felt like a dream."

"I was using you, Matsushita-sensei," Kadowaki admitted, unwilling to let Matsushita take all the blame.

"…I mean, I accepted so many expensive things from you…"

Matsushita chuckled softly. "Even if I forced things onto you, you never once asked me for anything. I think I would’ve been more at ease if you’d been selfish or demanded something like a typical young person your age."

He covered his mouth with his fingers. His eyes seemed to blur slightly.

"I always thought I was a smarter person than this. At first, I was just overjoyed that you accepted me. But as time went on, I realized that I was the only one who desired anything. You never wanted me. And I couldn’t understand why you were willing to respond to me."

Matsushita’s words faltered.

"You treated me kindly. That made me happy. I should have let you go sooner, but I kept leaning on your kindness. If I didn’t have this reason to leave, I wouldn’t have been able to let you go."

His eyes reddened, but he quickly hid his tears. They disappeared as if they had never been there. Matsushita smiled warmly at Kadowaki.

"You’re young, so you’ll forget about me soon enough. You’ll meet someone wonderful, get married, and become a great father. I’d have liked to see that version of you. Even if I couldn’t be by your side, I wanted to see your life unfold."

Matsushita’s gaze drifted toward the window. Kadowaki followed his line of sight to see the snow falling, driven sideways by a fierce wind.

"Maybe if I had wanted to, I could have stayed and watched. But eventually, it would have become too painful for me to see you. Just as I could no longer endure this relationship that began with your pity, even though I once thought that would be enough. Eventually, I would have hated the people you love and those who love you."

The room was quiet. Beyond the window, the stormy snow swirled, hinting at a wild wind.

"I didn’t want your pity. I wanted your love."

Matsushita’s words offered a clarity that Kadowaki had sought for six months. In a single sentence, Matsushita had defined their complicated relationship.

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