About Love: Chapter 16

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As soon as he passed through the noren of Ruri-iro, Asaka’s eyes instinctively searched for that man.

He had invited Sasagawa out for a drink, and while he had received an "OK" in response, he wasn’t entirely convinced Sasagawa would actually show up.

That was why, when he spotted that familiar figure sitting at the edge of the counter, he felt a deep sense of relief.

Before Sasagawa sat a glass, now half-empty, and a small side dish. Asaka approached from behind and said, “Sorry I’m late.”

Sasagawa turned around at a slow, deliberate pace.

“No worries, I started without you,” he replied.

His neck was flushed. He might have already had quite a bit to drink. His jawline looked sharper, his face slightly thinner than before.

“It’s been ten days since I last saw you, but it doesn’t feel that long,” Asaka said.

“That’s probably because we talked on the phone yesterday,” Sasagawa murmured in his usual even tone, then smiled.

That smile reassured Asaka.

He had worried that meeting in person might feel awkward, that conversation might not come as easily. But it seemed like things would be okay.

He sat down beside Sasagawa, placing his bag on the floor. Judging by the size of the glass, it was likely sake. Sasagawa lifted the clear liquid to his lips.

“The new guy at work giving you trouble?”

“Yeah, you have no idea. I just needed someone to vent to…”

Sasagawa chuckled softly, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m all ears. I even came prepared for it,” he said, shrugging.

Asaka started with sake right off the bat, quickly moving on to his second glass.

Sasagawa, on the other hand, merely sipped at his drink, showing no hurry to order another.

There was something else Asaka wanted to talk about. About today. About how, despite his reluctance, he had somehow ended up producing a promotional campaign for a male couple.

He wanted to complain, but he couldn’t bring himself to. If he admitted to feeling uncomfortable about it, wouldn’t that make Sasagawa feel uncomfortable, too?

They had only just managed to meet again—he couldn’t risk reopening old wounds from that night.

And so, his venting session remained focused on the incompetent new hire at work.

“I don’t even know how to explain it… I could go on forever, but honestly, the guy is just plain inefficient. And it’s not like he’s slacking off, either, which makes it even harder to call him out on anything…”

Leaning on Sasagawa’s earlier offer to listen, Asaka continued unloading his frustrations.

But then—

“I can’t help but feel a little called out,” Sasagawa muttered.

Asaka blinked. “Why?”

“That new guy… doesn’t he remind you of me?”

Not just in demeanor, but even in the way he handles things.

“I’ve never been particularly efficient myself. I struggle with applying things practically and can only follow set procedures. My current job is mostly administrative. I don’t have to deal with many people outside my office, so as long as I got used to it, it wasn’t an issue. But your job is mostly customer service, right?”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“I haven’t actually seen this guy myself, so I can’t say for sure. But if it’s clear he isn’t suited for the job, maybe it’d be best to nudge him toward a different path sooner rather than later.”

Asaka was caught off guard.

He hadn’t expected Sasagawa to suggest something so blunt, so unsentimental.

“Did I say something strange?”

“No… I just thought that was kind of harsh.”

Sasagawa tilted his head slightly, looking genuinely surprised. “Did I?”

“When I was job hunting, I didn’t have any strong aspirations. I vaguely assumed I’d become a public servant, and that was that. I don’t have any complaints about it. Office work suits me well. But if I had ended up in a flashier line of work, I probably would have switched jobs eventually anyway.”

His voice was calm, matter-of-fact.

“I read something in a book once. ‘People need to be in the right place for their talents to shine.’ In other words, if you find the right place, you’ll be able to fully utilize the skills you already have. I don’t take everything I read at face value, but that line stuck with me. No matter how hard a fish tries, it will never become a bird. And a bird will never become a fish. It’s not about which is better or worse.”

Asaka felt shaken.

He had never thought about things in such a stark, detached way before.

“The fact that Asaka-san chose to become a bridal coordinator—especially as a man—must have taken an extraordinary level of resolve. I imagine you had a strong passion for it from the very beginning. But… passion and aptitude don’t always align.”

Asaka silently emptied his glass of sake, feeling somewhat conflicted.

He wanted to get Koenji to stand on his own as soon as possible, so he had been cramming as much knowledge into him as he could. But despite his own sense of urgency, it didn’t seem to be reaching Koenji.

That said, it wasn’t as if Koenji wasn’t trying. He was doing his best in his own way.

“Aptitude is a tricky thing,” Asaka murmured. “When you’re young, it’s hard to know. Even if you realize something doesn’t suit you, you don’t want to admit it. And sometimes, even if it doesn’t feel like the right fit at first, you can grow into it and develop unexpected strengths. No one can predict where they’ll be ten years from now.”

Sasagawa exhaled softly and muttered, “I’ve been doing all the talking, haven’t I…” before ordering another drink.

Asaka said nothing, simply reaching for his chopsticks and taking a bite from one of the small side dishes.

Since Asaka had joined Dragée, the company had hired several newcomers. They were all young women, and while some had left due to marriage or childbirth, no one had ever quit simply because the job didn’t suit them.

Naturally, Asaka had assumed Koenji would follow in his footsteps. But now, the possibility that he might not—That realization suddenly drained the tension from his shoulders.

“Asaka-san, have you ever felt like this job wasn’t the right fit for you?”

“I’ve thought about quitting before. When I messed up, or…”

“But even when you fail, you reflect on it and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistake, right? You’ve said before that you enjoy working with people, and you’re always on the lookout for new ideas to use in wedding receptions. From my perspective, being a bridal coordinator seems like your calling.”

Hearing it put that way made Asaka happy. Feeling a little embarrassed, he took a sip from his glass to cover it up.

“You really pay attention to people, don’t you, Sasagawa-san? You’re incredibly perceptive… or maybe just really level-headed.”

Sasagawa let out a small chuckle.

“I don’t have much confidence in myself, that’s all. That’s why I overthink everything, always second-guessing myself. People who are confident don’t hesitate as much. And unlike you, Asaka-san, for me, work is just a means to survive.”

He gave a small sigh, then added, “Though… saying it like that makes it sound a little too cold, doesn’t it?”

“Then what do you enjoy, Sasagawa-san?”

At that, the faint smile on Sasagawa’s face froze for a moment.

“Enjoy?”

“It doesn’t have to be a grand passion—just a hobby, or something you look forward to. Like billiards, maybe?”

Sasagawa frowned slightly and rubbed his forehead, looking a bit troubled.

“Billiards is just something to pass the time. It’s the only game I ever managed to look halfway decent playing, that’s all…”

The question hadn’t been anything particularly difficult, yet silence fell between them.

“…If you’d asked me last year, I would have said, ‘A happy marriage with my beautiful wife.’”

Asaka instantly regretted asking.

Sasagawa had married a lesbian woman in name only. They had no physical relationship, and now they were living separately.

He had mentioned before that they would divorce eventually, but Asaka hadn’t heard of it happening yet.

The way Sasagawa spoke now… it almost sounded like he still had lingering feelings for her. After everything he’d done to him, too…

That thought irritated Asaka.

“But I think I’ll keep the rest a secret. It wouldn’t be any fun if I told you everything, would it?”

“Do you want to get back together with your wife?” Asaka asked directly.

Sasagawa responded just as bluntly.

“That’s impossible. You know that, Asaka-san. I don’t have any intention of doing so.”

Then what exactly was this “secret” he found so amusing?

"Shall we head out?"

At Sasagawa’s words, Asaka glanced at his watch. There were thirty minutes left until the last train.

The two of them left the bar together.

It had been hot during the day, but the night air was much more bearable. Still, there was a lingering humidity that clung to his skin.

As the last train approached, the streets grew quieter.

There were fewer people around now, and if they stepped into the shadows, they could probably share a kiss unnoticed. Yet Sasagawa walked right past several perfect spots without a second glance.

Asaka had been tense the whole time, half-expecting to be pulled aside, dragged into some dark corner. But the moment they reached the station, a wave of embarrassment crashed over him.

The fact that he had been expecting something at all—It made him feel like he was starving for it.

Once through the ticket gate, the platform split in two, with the tracks running between them. Sasagawa was taking the outbound train, so he would have to go down the stairs and cross to the other side.

He walked a few steps ahead, then stopped at the stairs, turning back to smile at Asaka.

"Well then, good night."

"A—ah, good night."

His tall figure disappeared down the stairs.

As soon as Asaka stepped onto the platform, a train pulled in. He started to board—then hesitated.

He wanted to see Sasagawa one more time. There was still one last train after this. Taking a seat on one of the platform benches, he waited.

Before long, Sasagawa emerged on the opposite platform.

As always, he had that slight hunch to his back, as if trying to make himself smaller despite his height. His steps were sluggish, heavy with exhaustion.

Perhaps the left end of the platform was closest to the ticket gate at his destination—Sasagawa walked all the way over before sinking onto a bench and lowering his head.

Maybe he assumed Asaka had already left. He didn’t even look up.

Another train thundered onto Sasagawa’s platform, its roar filling the air.

Even in that moment, he never noticed Asaka watching from across the tracks. On the way home, Asaka typed out a message:

"You must be exhausted after listening to me complain all night. Sorry about that."

A reply came almost immediately:

"Not at all. I actually enjoyed listening to you, Asaka-san."

The words put him at ease, but—The image of Sasagawa on that platform, slumped in exhaustion, refused to leave his mind.

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Comments

  1. Why is there so much hesitation from Asaka…

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    Replies
    1. I wonder that too… he’s so confident and decisive at work, but when it comes to his feelings and actually taking the initiative, he suddenly becomes so hesitant. It’s like he turns into a completely different person 😅

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