About Love: Chapter 23

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The next day, Sasagawa sent multiple emails again. He even called.

Still, Asaka couldn’t just turn his phone off indefinitely. If he blocked the number, Sasagawa might show up at his apartment again.

So he sent a message:

"I need time to sort out my feelings. I'll contact you once I’ve calmed down. Until then, please don’t email or call me."

Sasagawa replied almost immediately.

"How long should I wait?"

Asaka typed back: "Ten days."

That number had stuck in his mind—last time, when Asaka had turned Sasagawa away, it had taken ten days before Sasagawa stopped reaching out entirely.

Even after cutting off contact, Asaka’s daily life didn’t change much. It was the busy autumn wedding season, and work kept him on his feet.

If anything, the chaos was a blessing—because whenever he had a spare moment, his mind drifted back to Sasagawa.

The hardest part was the nights.

On nights when work ended early, he found himself drinking outside, unable to control himself, getting wasted and causing trouble for others. Just like last time, when Ikegami-sama had to take care of him.

So, he drank at home instead.

If he drank too much, no one was there to stop him. If he passed out, he’d just curl up on the floor. At least that way, he wasn’t a burden on anyone.

As the self-imposed ten-day deadline crept closer, his feelings remained a mess. But that didn’t change the outcome.

They were breaking up.

That much had already been decided. If that was the case, there was no point in seeing Sasagawa again. He didn’t even want to look at him.

The pain he felt was enough. He didn’t need Sasagawa to make it worse.

Sasagawa wanted to talk. But the only one who would feel better afterward was Sasagawa.

Asaka kept asking himself, over and over—what had that man even meant to him?

A year ago, his life had been just fine without him. Normal, fulfilling, complete.

Work was fun, rewarding. Every day had purpose.

He didn’t need Sasagawa.

If anything, having Sasagawa around had been more trouble than it was worth.

A lover—especially a male one—wasn’t something society saw as normal.

And if they broke up, what would happen?

Nothing.

All that would remain was the fact that he had been two-timed and dumped. Maybe it would linger for a while. Maybe it would take time.

But eventually, he’d forget about Sasagawa. Eventually, he’d fall for someone else.

But somehow, he felt certain—it wouldn’t be another man. His thoughts circled back to Sasagawa in an endless loop.

What had he even liked about him?

He was kind, but that was all.

Weak-willed, easily swayed, always listening to other people’s stories with that pleased little smile.

Asaka had thought he was the devoted type. That when he fell for someone, it was only that person. That he would never, ever cheat.

But that wasn’t true.

He was the kind of man who could date multiple people at once. Even so, Sasagawa hadn’t made the wrong choice.

With Asaka, there was no future. No children. If he had been able to love a woman, that was the better path.

The urge to cry welled up, and Asaka swallowed hard against it.

Even now, he still loved him. That indecisiveness, that kindness, that weakness—he had loved all of it.

He wanted to hate him. If he could just hate him, forgetting would be easier.

On the ninth day of their silence, Asaka woke up, took a long shower to wash away the last traces of his hangover, brushed his teeth with extra care, and headed to work.

The day before, Saturday, had been packed with weddings. But today, Sunday, was his first break in a while.

Still, five out of the eight coordinators at Dragée had weddings scheduled, meaning every assistant and part-timer had been sent out.

Only three people remained in the office—Asaka, Koenji, and Kohara.

Asaka had four client meetings that day.

One in the morning, then three back-to-back in the afternoon.

Meetings always piled up on weekends, but today was particularly packed.

After guiding the first client to the consultation room, he stepped out to retrieve their file.

As he crossed the spacious reception area, the front door opened—

And he found himself face to face with Ikegami-sama. This was the first time Asaka had seen Ikegami-sama since the day Sasagawa’s infidelity had been exposed.

The moment he saw his face, the memories came flooding back—the night he’d gotten so drunk at the bar that Ikegami-sama had not only taken care of him but even let him stay over. If Kohara ever found out about that humiliating blunder, she’d probably yell at him.

While Asaka squirmed with discomfort, Ikegami-sama grinned and stepped closer.

"Hey there. You doing okay after that night?"

Of course, he had to bring that up first. The night Asaka least wanted to talk about. His face burned with heat.

"Well… somehow. Though I had a brutal hangover. I truly apologize for that night."

"Ah, don’t worry about it. We all have times like that."

After a brief glance around, Ikegami-sama lowered his voice.

"…So, how are things with your boyfriend?"

Asaka's back stiffened at the sudden question.

"It's fine, no one's around," Ikegami-sama assured him.

He was right—Kohara and Koenji weren’t there, and there were no customers in sight.

Asaka hadn’t forgotten that he’d accidentally confessed to being the "same kind" that night. He wished Ikegami-sama had forgotten, but it seemed there was no such luck. With an awkward smile, he admitted,

"I haven’t seen him, but… it’s completely over."

Then he quickly added, "Also, Ikegami-sama, about my—"

"Yeah, I get it," Ikegami-sama cut him off.

"I haven’t told Morino either. Don’t worry."

Then, with a casual shrug, he added, "But, you know, it’s a shame. You’re a good guy, Asaka-san. If you’re interested, I can introduce you to someone. Just tell me what type you like."

Asaka blinked, caught off guard.

What was this man suddenly talking about?

"You know," Ikegami-sama continued, "I really believe people should experience love as much as they can. There's no need to waste time on someone who didn’t appreciate you."

At last, Asaka understood. This was his way of looking out for him.

"I appreciate it," he said, "but… I’m not ready to move on to someone new just yet. Sorry."

Ikegami-sama’s expression turned serious for a moment.

"If you ever need to talk, just call me. I’ve got plenty of free time in the evenings. If you don’t have anyone to vent to, it’ll wear you down."

The kindness in his words struck deep.

Asaka’s chest tightened, his throat burned, and for a moment, he thought he might cry. In that instant, he realized just how starved he was for kindness.

"Ikegami-sama, welcome!"

A voice called out from behind him—Koenji.

"Asaka-san, you’re needed," Koenji added.

Snapping back to reality, Asaka remembered the client he had left waiting.

Bowing politely, Asaka left. Even as he returned to his office and picked up a client file, Ikegami’s kind words echoed in his chest. It was such a simple thing, yet words alone had the power to save someone. He probably wouldn't actually call Ikegami for advice, but just knowing that someone cared eased his burden.

Asaka glanced at the staff schedule. Koenji’s morning schedule was marked as "office work," just as he had seen earlier. But since Ikegami had visited, it must have been changed to a meeting at the last minute. Unexpected meetings usually meant something had gone wrong, but if there had been a serious issue, Koenji would have consulted him immediately.

Recently, Asaka had let Koenji handle meetings with Morino and Ikegami on his own. The two had grown comfortable with each other, and since they were the only clients he was managing, decisions were being made on schedule. Asaka had determined that he didn’t need to be involved in every discussion—just offering support when necessary was enough.

After finishing a discussion with another client, Asaka walked them to the entrance. Just as he was about to close the door, a voice called out.

"Asaka-san."

Ikegami-sama stood outside, beckoning him over. He must have finished his own discussion and was about to leave.

Asaka stepped outside.

"You know… When I was talking to Koenji earlier, I told him I was fine with giving up on the wedding. But honestly, I do want to go through with it. Not for me, but for Morino."

Ikegami-sama sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I don’t really care either way, but Morino wanted it. It was his dream, you know? He couldn’t make it today, but when he hears the decision, he’s going to be disappointed."

He hesitated, then asked, "I don’t need a church or anything fancy, but… could we at least bring in a pastor?"

Asaka had no idea what Ikegami-sama was talking about.

The couple had originally planned to have their wedding in a church. Since they were both men, their options had been significantly limited, but they had managed to find one church that understood their situation and agreed to host the ceremony. The reservation had already been made.

Asaka was certain he had informed them that the church wedding was confirmed.

"Excuse me, Ikegami-sama, but could you tell me exactly what Koenji said?"

Ikegami-sama let out a small sigh.

"Koenji-san said that the church we had booked ended up rejecting us after all. Since they wouldn’t allow a wedding between two men, so he asked us to give up on the idea."

Asaka had never heard anything like that. Suppressing his shock, he forced a small smile.

"I understand. I’ll check with Koenji again and get back to you."

"Ah, yeah… Sorry, Asaka-san. I know I’m being selfish about this, but…"

"Please don’t worry about it. We know that Morino-sama was especially looking forward to the ceremony."

Ikegami-sama looked relieved. "I’ll leave it to you, then," he said before heading off.

The moment Asaka saw him off, he rushed back into the office.

Koenji, who had been sitting at his desk, looked up in surprise at Asaka’s sudden entrance. Even Kohara turned to look.

Asaka strode over to his tall junior colleague, his steps heavy with purpose.

"…What is the meaning of this?"

His voice was low.

"Huh? What do you mean—"

"I’m talking about Ikegami-sama. Why can’t they have their wedding at the church?"

Koenji let out a slow "Ah…" as if just remembering.

"I got a call yesterday. The Kurumi no Mori Church, where we had booked the ceremony, said they changed their minds and didn’t want to go through with it after all."

"And the reason?"

"They didn’t say. They just kept repeating ‘no’ over and over. I figured there was no getting through to them."

Koenji spoke in an even tone, without hesitation.

Asaka, however, was stunned. Such an important matter—discussed simply "in passing" when Ikegami-sama came to drop off the finalized invitation designs?

And what’s worse, Koenji didn’t seem to have the slightest doubt that he had handled it appropriately.

"When Kurumi no Mori Church rejected them, why didn’t you consult me?"

"I thought about it, but it would’ve been a rejection either way. You were busy, so I figured I’d just tell you later…"

Asaka glanced at the clock.

11:30 AM.

The earliest afternoon appointment wasn’t until 2:00 PM. The church was only about a 15-minute drive away. He had more than enough time to go there and back.

"President, may I step out for about two hours? I’m heading to Kurumi no Mori Church."

"…Go ahead."

As Asaka grabbed the car keys, Koenji’s voice called after him.

"They rejected us over the phone. They wouldn’t even listen…"

Ignoring him, Asaka stormed out of the office. Koenji quickly followed.

"There’s no point in going! They were completely firm on their decision—there’s no way to change their minds!"

Asaka whirled around.

"And why do you think it’s hopeless?"

"Because… they rejected us!"

"And you just accepted that without even asking why?"

"Isn’t the reason obvious? Because they’re both men."

As Asaka reached for the car door, Koenji hesitated before blurting out, "O-oh… Can I come with you?"

"You already think it’s impossible. What exactly do you plan to do?"

Asaka’s words were sharp with sarcasm.

"But… but they’re my clients. I want to know what’s going on."

Koenji slid into the passenger seat.

Asaka, while irritated, didn’t go so far as to drag him out. For the 15-minute drive to the church, Koenji occasionally tried to start a conversation. But Asaka didn’t answer him. Not even once.

The Kurumi no Mori Church was an old chapel situated at the edge of the mountains, a little way outside of town.

It was simple, yet its high ceilings and the light filtering through the stained-glass windows gave it an air of solemn beauty that could move even those who weren’t Christian. It was also a popular venue for weddings.

Asaka himself had worked with this church on several occasions before. When he requested a conversation, the elderly pastor, having just finished Sunday service, stepped outside to meet him.

At first, just as Koenji had said, the pastor was firm in his refusal, repeatedly stating, "I’m sorry, but we must decline."

However, Asaka pressed him, refusing to accept the answer without an explanation. Eventually, the pastor let out a heavy sigh and spoke.

"It’s true that we initially responded with, ‘We will accept the request.’ But as time passed, I began to question whether it was truly appropriate for us to conduct such a ceremony…"

His words were halting, as if he were carefully choosing each one.

"I believe that all couples who marry should receive God’s blessing. And yet, when it comes to a same-sex union… I found myself hesitating. I know—love should not be divided or discriminated against. But to my shame, I must admit that my own heart has struggled to keep up with the changing times. I realized that as long as I carried such doubts, I could not in good faith oversee a sacred ceremony."

So in the end, it was because the pastor himself could not come to terms with the idea of a same-sex marriage.

It was likely the first time he had ever received such a request. And at his age, perhaps it was only natural that he struggled to understand same-sex relationships.

Even so, from the way he spoke, it didn’t seem like he was rejecting the idea out of blind prejudice.

There might still be room to negotiate.

"I understand how you feel, Pastor," Asaka said, his tone calm.

"But the couple who wish to hold their ceremony here… they are very sincere people. They have given great thought to their future. They are not Christians, and to put it bluntly, they don’t need to be married in a church. Yet still, they chose to do so. They were prepared to be turned away, but even so, they wished to stand before God and be blessed as they embark on their life together. I ask you, please—try to understand the depth of their feelings."

For the first time, the pastor’s rigid expression softened, just a little.

"They may be sincere, but…"

Asaka took a step forward.

"If I may share my personal thoughts—I have had the honor of assisting countless couples with their weddings. Among them… the two people I am speaking of now are some of the purest I have ever met."

The pastor held Asaka’s gaze.

"There are still deep-seated prejudices against same-sex relationships," Asaka continued.

"But they are simply living true to their hearts. They fell in love—just as any other couple would. And yet, while a heterosexual union would be celebrated without question, theirs is met with resistance. Even so, they have found the courage to stand before the world and declare their love. For the hardships they will surely continue to face… for the battles they will fight together from this day forward… I pray, from the bottom of my heart, that they may receive God’s blessing."

Asaka bowed deeply.

A gentle voice reached his ears.

"Please, raise your head."

He lifted his gaze to see the pastor smiling at him.

"I understand your feelings, Asaka-san."

The pastor let out a small breath.

"You are right. I would like to meet this couple and speak with them myself. If they are willing, would you ask them to visit this church?"

"Understood. Thank you for your time."

Asaka bowed deeply once more before leaving the church.

The moment he got into his car, Koenji, who had been standing silently behind him the whole time, finally spoke up.

"Um… do you think it’ll be okay…? The pastor never actually said he’d agree to perform the ceremony."

"He’s probably waiting to meet them in person before making a decision. We’ll need to coordinate their schedules and have them visit the church at least once."

Asaka let out a long, slow breath.

"Morino-sama and his partner are intelligent. They understand themselves well. The pastor will surely see that too."

"I see…" Koenji murmured in agreement.

"As expected, Asaka-san, you’re amazing. That pastor wouldn’t listen to me at all when I spoke to him…"

"You say he wouldn’t listen, but did you actually listen to him?"

"I did, didn’t I?"

"Then why do you think he explained his reasons for refusing to me, but not to you?"

Koenji fell silent.

"Do you understand the difference between you and me?"

By the time Asaka asked this, they had already arrived back at the Dragée parking lot.

"Is it because… I only spoke to him over the phone?"

Turning off the engine, Asaka looked over at him.

"If that’s the case, why didn’t you think of meeting him in person?"

"Well, I mean… he already said no."

"He didn’t even give you a proper explanation. But you just accepted it, didn’t you? Morino-sama was so set on having a church ceremony, and yet you simply dismissed his wishes with an 'oh well, we got rejected.'"

Asaka scratched his forehead roughly.

"Even if I’m told no, I try to find a way to make it happen. I wanted to meet the pastor in person because I thought there might be a chance if I understood his reasoning. And if this church refused, then I’d go back and revisit every church that had already turned us down and talk to them directly. I’d do everything I could think of. Why can’t you do that? No—why can’t you even think that way?"

Koenji remained frozen, his mouth slightly open.

"You only think about yourself. You say you're planning from the client’s perspective, but in reality, that’s just a convenient excuse. You’re really just doing whatever is easiest for you. You might not even realize it, but you’re always looking for the path of least resistance."

Asaka exhaled sharply.

"To be honest, I also think a church wedding for two men is unconventional. But Morino-sama wanted it badly enough to fight for it. That’s how serious he is. How can you not see that?"

He pointed a finger at Koenji.

"Yeah, if you did understand, you wouldn’t have just brought it up as some kind of afterthought."

"I-I…"

Asaka cut him off before he could finish.

"I never held it against you that you’re slow at learning the job. Everyone has their own pace. As long as, in the end, you can properly plan with the client’s needs in mind, that’s what matters. But this was your first client. You had only one couple to focus on. The best possible situation for taking your time and building a real connection. And yet, you still failed at the most basic thing—understanding the client’s perspective."

He had hoped Koenji would at least argue back, even if only with a weak excuse. But he said nothing.

Because he had no confidence to refute it.

Because he wasn’t committed enough to care.

Asaka let out a sigh.

"From now on, I’ll be handling Morino-sama’s case. I can’t leave it to you anymore… I can’t trust you."

"What…?"

Asaka stared directly into his junior’s tearful eyes.

"You’re not suited to be a bridal coordinator."

"But I… I really want to do this job…"

"I’m not rejecting you as a person. And I’m not saying your way of thinking is inherently wrong. But this job isn’t for you."

Koenji bolted from the car. He didn’t go into Dragée. He just kept running down the road, farther and farther away.

Asaka leaned forward against the steering wheel and shut his eyes tightly. He had cut Koenji off. But was that the right choice? Was it wrong?

Should he have overlooked this one failure, held out hope for his potential, and given him more time?

What should he have done? Asaka no longer knew.

The only thing he was sure of—He never wanted to entrust a client to Koenji again. That was all.

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