The Moon’s Ship That Crosses The Night: Chapter 23
From the next day onward, Kawase
took action to send the man back to his hometown. However, planning it outright
in front of him felt somewhat awkward, so he made arrangements over his phone
during lunch breaks at work.
His first call was to the local city
hall. Since the man had a visual impairment, Kawase thought he might qualify
for some kind of welfare support, but the conversation led nowhere.
Despite his blindness, there were no
detectable issues with his eyes or brain. The condition was suspected to be
psychological… but without proof, nothing could be done. And even if his
blindness was psychological, that alone didn’t necessarily indicate a
psychiatric disorder. Everything was frustratingly vague.
A city hall representative advised
Kawase to consult a local hospital, so he contacted the general hospital
nearest to the man’s home. The hospital’s psychiatrist agreed to examine him if
he came in but doubted he would qualify for hospitalization. Instead, they
suggested he live at home under the care of family. However, the man had
no family to care for him.
When Kawase brought this up, the
doctor suggested that, as long as finances weren’t an issue, he could simply
hire someone to assist him in daily life. Until then, Kawase had only
considered placing the man in a facility, but it was true—if someone handled
his basic needs, he could manage just fine.
On the night marking the fifth week
since the man had arrived, Kawase finally said, "We need to talk."
The man, lounging lazily on the sofa
after dinner, slowly turned his head.
Kawase explained his conversations
with the city hall and the doctor, concluding with a proposal: hire a caregiver
and return to Hokkaido.
"At first, you said your
blindness would last ten days, but it’s been over a month. I doubt it’ll
continue much longer, but… I have work and other responsibilities, so—" He
carefully chose his words to avoid sounding harsh.
He studied the man’s face, but it
was unreadable. His gaze remained distant, unfocused, as if none of Kawase’s
words were sinking in.
"I’ll find someone to help you
over there. The only issue is their pay. Do you have enough savings to cover
that? I really don’t know—"
The man’s lips moved.
"I have no intention of hiring
anyone. And I have no intention of going back."
A sharp twitch ran through Kawase’s
cheek.
"What do you mean, no
intention? Then what are you going to do?"
A sinking feeling gripped his
stomach.
"I was prepared to abandon
everything. You were the one who forcibly stopped me. Don’t you think you have
a responsibility toward my life now?"
A chill ran down Kawase’s spine at
the way he said it.
"What the hell are you talking
about—"
"If you don’t want to take
responsibility for me, just say, Get out."
Kawase swallowed hard.
"If you say that, I’ll
leave."
For the first time in a long while,
real emotion flickered across the man’s face.
Kawase clenched his fists.
"Let’s say I do tell you
to get out. Where exactly would you go?"
The man laughed. Silent, breathless
laughter. Then, with a slight shrug, he murmured,
"Maybe it’s better if you don’t
know."
◇:-:◆:-:◇
Even though he had stayed up late
thinking about the man, Kawase woke up at six in the morning. He had set an
alarm, but it turned out to be unnecessary.
By six-thirty, he was dressed,
carrying his work bag, and stepping outside. As always, he inserted his key
into the lock. Even if he locked it from the outside, the man could still leave
anytime he wanted by turning the inner lock. Still, Kawase dutifully locked the
door every day.
His hands suddenly stopped
mid-motion. Without turning the key, he simply pulled it out. The door remained
unlocked. It doesn’t matter whether I lock it or not, he told himself.
As he walked to work, he kept
thinking about the unlocked door. Even at the office, the thought wouldn’t
leave his mind. During a meeting, he zoned out and missed an important point,
only realizing it later when a colleague filled him in.
That man, for all his
absentmindedness, was sharp in certain ways. If he realized the door had been
left unlocked, he would probably leave. No—he would leave.
…Wasn’t that what Kawase wanted?
He wasn’t doing anything illegal.
Forgetting to lock a door was nothing. But the unspoken message behind his
action was clear: I want him gone. He had stopped him from dying, only
to be told he now had an obligation to take care of him. He didn’t want
to be trapped in this endless responsibility.
He had barely felt sympathy for the
man to begin with, but now, something dark and heavy was festering inside him. Someone
like him… he should just die. Thinking that way made Kawase sick with
himself.
His stomach churned, and at lunch,
he threw up everything he had eaten. He wanted to rush home immediately and
lock the door, but even as the impulse flared, a part of him hesitated, still
hoping the man would leave.
He didn’t go back. Work was too
busy, and whether that was a valid reason or just an excuse, he wasn’t sure
anymore. In the evening, he had a business dinner with an external designer,
and by the time he boarded the train home, it was already past nine.
His footsteps quickened as he
approached his apartment. He glanced up from the street—his room was dark, just
as he had left it.
He had never felt this nervous
turning his own doorknob. It twisted easily to the right. The lock remained
undone, just as he had left it.
He switched on the entryway light.
His breath caught when he didn’t see the man’s shoes, but when he looked
closer, he spotted them shoved into the bottom of the shoe rack.
Flipping on the hallway light, he
saw a shadowy figure near the sofa. The man turned to face him, slow and
ghostlike. Kawase couldn’t tell whether he hadn’t noticed the unlocked door or
if he had seen it and simply chosen not to leave.
His own reaction upon seeing the man
wasn’t relief. It wasn’t irritation, either.
Without taking off his suit jacket,
he booted up his laptop and searched for the nearest locksmith. He found a shop
that offered 24-hour service, stepped outside, and made the call on his cell.
Less than an hour later, the
locksmith arrived. In addition to replacing the old lock, Kawase requested one
that could be locked from the outside but wouldn’t open from the inside. He
didn’t ask the landlord for permission. If they found out, they found out.
When the locksmith asked, "Why
install a lock like this?" Kawase casually lied, saying he had a young
niece who often visited and tended to wander outside. The locksmith didn’t
press any further.
he cares about him so bad he doesn't even want to acknowledge it 💀
ReplyDeleteIs it care or guilt? 🤔 He did take him in, so I guess he feels responsible for him now
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