WELL: Chapter 8
Shinobu collapsed three days later.
When Taki came to inform him,
Ryousuke was inside the back storeroom of the shoe shop, reading a paperback
he'd picked up from a nearby bookstore under the light of a candle. He spent
his days idly, locked away inside the store. The offer to help with inventory
organizing had been retracted by Tamura himself—“Ibuki says he prefers to work
alone,” he’d said—and Ryousuke had been genuinely relieved. He kept thinking he
ought to be doing something, but he had no idea what that something should be.
Out of sheer boredom, he'd even
tidied up the shop. He’d sorted the men's shoes by size, but not a single
resident had come by asking for any. Then again, he spent most of the day holed
up like a mole in the storeroom, so even if someone had stopped by, he
might not have noticed.
Once, he tried showing his face at
the excavation site, but all he could do was sit and watch. The looks he got
from the others were cold. Just then, a half-rotted corpse was dug up, and the
stench made him vomit. That only made him more of a nuisance in their eyes.
Since then, he hadn’t gone near the site.
At that first assembly, he realized
just how little he’d managed to fit in here. He’d tried to find some kind of
connection, but there was nothing. He couldn’t join in the digging like
Shinobu, and aside from Ibuki, he hadn’t helped anyone with anything. …No
matter what it was, his leg always got in the way.
For now, he still had the excuse of
being injured. But that wouldn’t last forever. If it didn’t heal, the fact that
he couldn’t do anything would definitely become a bigger problem. He’d tried
walking several times, frustrated by the uselessness of his right foot, but
every time he took a step, the pain was so intense it knocked the air out of
him. It never got any better. Sometimes, out of irritation, he’d kick the shoes
scattered around the shop, venting his frustration—but eventually he gave up.
So what if the people here didn’t like him? He’d still get food. He could still
survive.
After coming to that conclusion, he
stopped pushing himself. He tried reframing it as a stroke of luck—being exempt
from the nasty job of digging up corpses. The thought still left a faint lump
in his chest, but mentally, it made things easier.
When he first heard that Shinobu had
collapsed, the first thing that flashed through his mind was: Who’s going to
help me get to the toilet now? Then came the issue of fetching water every
morning and evening. Without water, he couldn’t wash up or brush his teeth.
Life would quickly get difficult.
“We were carrying rubble together.
Then, all of a sudden, he dropped what he was holding. Just as I was telling
him to watch it, he collapsed. We tried shaking him, but he wouldn’t open his
eyes, so everyone panicked and carried him to Akatsuka’s place since it was the
closest. But… it looked like he was just sleeping.”
Taki sat down next to Ryousuke and
described the situation, gesturing with his hands as he spoke.
“Apparently, he hadn’t slept in the
past three days. Everyone figured it was just sleep deprivation and decided to
let him rest. He’s probably still snoozing away at Akatsuka’s. Turns out, he’s
kind of the sensitive type who can’t sleep unless he’s got his own pillow?”
Sensitive was probably the word least
associated with Shinobu. Ryousuke had noticed the redness in his eyes over the
last two days, but he hadn’t realized the guy hadn’t slept. Shinobu always went
to bed later than him and woke up earlier.
“Tamura-san said he’ll probably be
fine once he gets some proper sleep, but he also told me to let you know, Ryousuke.”
It was clear that Tamura considered
him and Shinobu a pair. If anything happened to Shinobu, Tamura would always
come to tell Ryousuke. He didn’t need to go that far—but he was always
painstakingly considerate. It could be a little annoying at times, but Ryousuke
knew it came from a place of sympathy, which made it hard to say outright, That’s
enough, really. It was kindness, after all. Overbearing, but sincere.
Even after he finished speaking,
Taki didn’t get up to leave. His face was shadowed; he didn’t look like someone
just slacking off under the pretense of casual talk.
“I’m in real trouble right now,” he
said, ruffling the back of his head and sighing. “But promise me you won’t tell
anyone, okay?”
His serious face made Ryousuke nod.
“Yeah.”
“Two days ago, Ibuki started talking
to me a lot. He’s got a rough personality, right? The only one he really gets
along with is Tamura-san. I mean, I talk to him a bit more than the others
since I’m in charge of distributing food. So yesterday, he calls me over, says
he has something serious to talk about—and out of nowhere, he tells me to ‘join
him.’”
Taki’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“He’s really planning to attack the
Matsui department store underground. He said before the attack, we’re going to
send over poisoned water to thin out their numbers. Told me to come with him.”
Ryousuke felt a chill down his
spine. He remembered the bloodshot eyes and frenzied speech Ibuki had at the
assembly. If anyone would go through with it, it was him.
“I’m scared, man,” Taki said, voice
trembling. “Ibuki’s dead serious. I can see it. If this keeps up, I’m gonna get
roped into being an accomplice.”
Ibuki’s mantra of “survival of the
fittest,” repeated so often it became almost casual, suddenly took on
terrifying weight. It was now clear that, to him, it justified indiscriminate
murder.
“Tell Tamura-san,” Ryousuke said
without hesitation. It was the first thing that came to mind.
“Ibuki seems to respect him, right?
If Tamura-san talks to him, maybe he’ll change his mind.”
But instead of agreeing, Taki shook
his head violently, his face pale.
“If I do that, it’ll be obvious I
ratted him out. Maybe not right away, but he’ll hold a grudge—and if it’s worse
than that, if he really snaps… I might get killed.”
Ryousuke understood the fear all too
well. He felt the same way. Whether you resisted Ibuki or obeyed him, either
path was terrifying.
“Going against him scares me.
Following him scares me. I don’t want either. What the hell am I supposed to
do…?”
Taki was nearly crying. Ryousuke
couldn’t blame him. He was a target too—Ibuki had practically branded him a
burden. If he got involved now, things might get even worse. Letting Taki deal
with it alone would’ve been easier, sure—but Ryousuke couldn’t abandon one of
the few people he could still call a friend.
“You just have to think,” Ryousuke
said. “Think of something. There’s got to be a way out.”
“I’ve been trying since yesterday,
but my head’s a mess…”
The two of them fell silent. Neither
knew what to do. Tears welled up in Taki’s eyes.
“He said he’s going to Matsui’s the
day after tomorrow. I heard him tell Tamura-san he wants to go again for
diplomacy, that he’ll bring me with him. I… I don’t want this. I don’t want to
kill anyone…”
If they couldn’t come up with
something, Taki would end up carrying a plastic bottle full of poisoned water
into the underground store.
A plastic bottle—Ryousuke suddenly
had an idea.
“That’s it! The bottle!”
Taki lifted his head.
“It’s just a PET bottle, right? Then
all you need to do is find a matching one and switch it out when he’s not
looking. He’ll never know.”
Ryousuke placed a confident hand on
Taki’s shoulder.
“First, you have to ask Ibuki to
show you the poison bottle,” Ryousuke said. “Then find a matching PET bottle.
After that, switch the poisoned one with regular water—and take the clean one
to them instead. Even if no one dies, Ibuki won’t realize it was switched.
He’ll just think the poison didn’t work or something.”
Taki’s face lit up instantly.
“Y-Yeah, that might actually work!”
“Right? It’ll be fine. I’m sure
it’ll work.”
Suddenly, a loud rattling noise
echoed. Taki jolted like he’d been electrocuted. For a moment, Ryousuke
genuinely feared there might be a bug hidden somewhere in the store, and Ibuki
had overheard everything. The banging on the door grew louder. Ryousuke crawled
out of the storage room and cautiously peeked toward the glass door.
A tall silhouette.
He sighed in deep relief.
“Hang on a second,” he called out.
The knocking stopped.
“Ah, Shinobu. Thank God… I’m
seriously glad it’s just you.”
Behind him, Taki let out a breath of
relief and checked his watch.
“I should get going. If I stay here
too long, everyone’ll think I’m slacking again. Not like they’d be wrong
though. Can I come back later, around evening?”
Ryousuke nodded. Taki left, passing
Shinobu on the way out. Shinobu watched him go, then murmured with a slight
delay, “I’m home.”
“I wasn’t feeling well during the
digging, so Tamura-san told me I could take the rest of the day off…”
It was just past 3 p.m.—early to be
back. Shinobu’s excuse was probably meant to cover for that.
“Taki told me,” Ryousuke replied.
“You didn’t get sick, you collapsed from sleep deprivation. Try actually
sleeping at night for once.”
“Ah, yeah… sorry…”
Shinobu looked down as he
apologized. Ryousuke sighed. He would’ve preferred Shinobu had stayed resting
at Akatsuka’s place. Coming back so early only meant more time together—which,
lately, had begun to wear on him. True to his word, Shinobu never touched him,
but he hovered at the closest possible distance, always watching with that
gloomy face.
After making sure Shinobu locked the
glass door, Ryousuke went into the storage room. Naturally, Shinobu followed,
settling right next to him. He leaned in to peek at Ryousuke’s book, so
Ryousuke blocked it with his hand out of sheer irritation.
“Ryou-chan, what were you talking
about with Taki-san?” Shinobu asked, abruptly.
“Nothing. Just random stuff.”
Ryousuke didn’t look up from the
book. The dim light made the print hard to read, so he shifted closer to the
candle and laid down on his stomach.
“What kind of stuff?”
“It doesn’t concern you. Why the
hell do I have to tell you everything I talk about with Taki?”
Usually, that would’ve ended it. But
not today.
“Tamura-san told me… He asked Taki
to let you know I collapsed, but when Taki didn’t come back, he wondered what
you two were talking about. I didn’t know you and Taki-san were close.”
“I talk to people besides you,
y’know.”
Shinobu bit his lip, glaring up at
Ryousuke with wounded eyes.
“If you can talk to Taki-san, then
talk to me too. I want to talk with you. It’s been three days and we haven’t
said a single real word to each other. It’s not fair if you talk to him and not
to me.”
That bitter tone grated on
Ryousuke’s ears.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I
don’t want to hear about the corpses you dig up. Whether it was a man or a
woman, missing hands or feet—I’m honestly sick of it.”
“I—I won’t talk about the dead
anymore,” Shinobu stammered.
Ryousuke let out a sudden, derisive
laugh.
“What else do you even have to talk
about besides that?” Ryousuke spat. “I can’t stand the way you just sit there
and stare at me with those gloomy eyes.”
Shinobu’s lips trembled, his face
crumpling like he might cry.
“Ever since I said I liked you… Ryou-chan,
you haven’t spoken to me at all.”
“You ever stop to think why?”
Ryousuke jabbed a finger right at Shinobu’s nose.
“You knew I had a girlfriend, didn’t
you? I like girls. What part of being confessed to by another guy is supposed
to make me happy? You’ve got that ‘I got my heart broken’ look on your face,
but I’m the one stuck in this mess. My childhood friend’s gay, and even though
it creeps me the hell out, I still have to keep him around. You’re an idiot. If
you hadn’t said anything, I wouldn’t be looking at you like this now. You run
your mouth without thinking and end up tightening the noose around your own neck,
dumbass. If it weren’t for the world being what it is right now, I wouldn’t be
talking to you at all. The only reason I let you stay around is because of how
things are.”
As the words poured out, Ryousuke
found himself enjoying it more and more. He didn’t know why. Something about
that bowed head, that wilted posture, lifted him up.
“That’s right. If all this hadn’t
happened, I would’ve told my dad to kick you and Sae out of the house ages ago.
I never liked Sae, and you were just annoying…”
This was it—the perfect hierarchy
that existed before the world had turned to sand. Shinobu was an illegitimate
child, slow-witted, and except for his height, inferior to Ryousuke in every
possible way. No matter how harsh his words, as the employer’s son, Ryousuke couldn’t
be defied.
“But even if you say that… your dad
and my mom aren’t here anymore.”
That voice—quiet, but cutting
through the satisfaction like cold water—came from the one person who shouldn’t
have been talking back.
“If none of this had happened, I
probably never would’ve said I liked you either. I knew you always looked down
on me. You weren’t wrong, and I didn’t care. But it’s not like before anymore.
You used to live in a big house with impressive parents and all that, and yeah,
you were smarter than me—but now nobody knows any of that. You and I are just
seventeen-year-old guys. That’s all. We’ve got nothing.”
“Shut up! Just shut the hell up!”
Ryousuke knew. He knew it. He’d
thought about it a million times. For Shinobu, maybe it was freeing—losing
everything, starting from zero. But not for him. He’d been stripped of
everything, brought down to zero with nothing to show for it.
“You’ve got nothing, Ryou-chan.”
Something snapped inside his head.
He clenched his jaw and started grabbing anything he could reach—books, shoes,
the curtain they used as a blanket—and threw them all at Shinobu. Shinobu
didn’t say a word, no matter what hit him. The only sound in the room was
Ryousuke’s ragged breathing.
“You’re not keeping me around out of
kindness. You just can’t manage without me. You can’t go to the bathroom alone,
can’t fetch water alone. Well, maybe you could, but crawling around in front of
people would be too pathetic, wouldn’t it?”
It was the first time Ryousuke had
ever felt this kind of fury—so overwhelming it made his body tremble. It was
the first time he’d ever hated Shinobu this much, this thing he’d only ever
pitied or controlled. Why did he have to suffer like this? Why did his heart
have to be trampled too, not just his life?
“Just like you hurt me with those
nasty words, Ryou-chan… I can hurt you just as easily.”
Tears welled up in Ryousuke’s
eyes—tears of sheer frustration. Shinobu’s stiff expression melted into one of
surprise, and when Ryousuke realized he’d been seen crying, he quickly dropped
his head to hide his face.
“Ryou-chan… I’m sorry. I’m really
sorry I said something mean. I didn’t mean it, I swear…”
Too late. Apologies wouldn’t fix any
of this.
“I wasn’t gonna say it… I swear. I’m
sorry. I was just jealous. When I saw you talking to other people, I got so
mad—because you never talk to me anymore. I know you’ll never feel that way
about me, Ryou-chan. I know I’m stupid, that I can’t do anything right, that I
always get on your nerves. I know you like girls. But I… I like you. I’m not
asking you to like me back—just don’t ignore me. I’ll do anything for you, Ryou-chan.
So please, just be like before… stay with me, and let me talk to you.”
Ryousuke looked up. He grabbed the
front of Shinobu’s shirt and punched him square in the face, watching those
eyes go wide in shock.
“Just die already!”
His voice trembled, his fingers
trembled. Still, he hit him. Three times—until his arm was too tired to swing
again and he threw Shinobu away like something filthy. He curled up in a corner
of the storage room, hiding his tear-streaked face in his sleeve. A moment
later, he heard Shinobu stir. The door creaked open. He was leaving.
But within five minutes, it opened
again.
“Ryou-chan… you go ahead and wash up
first. I’ll stay outside for a while.”
Shinobu’s voice was soft. A bucket
of water and a small washbasin were left at the door, like always. Since the
confession, Ryousuke had avoided getting undressed around Shinobu at all
costs—it made his skin crawl. Every time he washed, he made Shinobu leave the
room.
And just like always, Shinobu
obeyed.
Even alone, Ryousuke didn’t move. He
didn’t want to touch anything that Shinobu had brought him. Twenty minutes
later, the door opened again. Shinobu stood in silence for a moment, seeing the
untouched water. Then, as usual, he took the bucket into the corner and started
wiping himself down.
Ryousuke hadn’t cleaned himself, and
that had been his choice. But seeing Shinobu do it anyway just made him angry.
“Um… Ryou-chan, I found something
kinda cool today. While I was digging, I came across this thing buried under
the rubble. I’m supposed to report stuff like this to Tamura-san, but I snuck
it back here. It looks like an old handheld game, battery-powered. I figured you
might be bored, always stuck here…”
It was so obvious Shinobu was trying
to smooth things over. Even a casual word like “bored” felt like a slap—like he
was saying, “You can’t work, so I brought you this.” Every word rubbed Ryousuke
the wrong way.
Shinobu set the object down quietly
behind him and stepped back. Ryousuke turned, snatched it up—some palm-sized
plastic thing—and hurled it against the wall.
A hard crash. He hoped it broke.
Shinobu didn’t move to pick it up. He just stared.
I hate this. I hate everything. I
hate even breathing the same air. Just having him here makes my skin crawl.
It’s like an allergy.
“Good eveniiiing~”
A knock at the door, followed by a
familiar drawn-out voice. Ryousuke didn’t need to check his watch to know it
was dinner time—and, sure enough, Shinobu rose to answer the door.
Peering out from the storage room,
Ryousuke saw it was Taki with their food again.
“I wanted to talk to Ryousuke, is it
cool if I come in?” Taki asked as he handed off the usual bread, trying to peek
inside.
“He’s sleeping,” Shinobu lied
without hesitation.
“Taki, come in.”
Ryousuke raised his voice sharply.
“Not sleeping, huh,” Taki muttered
and slipped past Shinobu, who stood blocking the way.
“Is now a good time to talk about
that thing?”
Taki said lowering his voice, likely
because he was aware of the figure lingering behind them, Taki kept his tone
cautious. Ryousuke, glancing over at Shinobu still standing in front of the
storage room door like a ghost, barked sharply.
“I need to talk to Taki. You—go
outside.”
Shinobu’s face twisted in a scowl,
and he turned away with a sharp exhale.
“Didn’t you hear me?! I said get out
while we’re talking!”
Gritting his teeth, Shinobu shot a
glare at Taki and spun on his heel. But all he did was step outside the store,
his tall silhouette still plainly visible through the glass door.
“Yeesh, Shinobu’s seriously pissed
off…” Taki shrugged with exaggerated unease. “I always thought he was this
slow, quiet type, but damn. Did I say something wrong?”
“It’s not your fault. Don’t worry
about it.”
“You guys fighting or something?”
Ryousuke didn’t answer, and Taki,
sensing he didn’t want to talk about it, let it go.
“So anyway,” Taki leaned in, keeping
his voice low, “I went to see Ibuki and got a look at those bottles. There’s
four of them—clear PET bottles, labels stripped. You know how bottle shapes
differ slightly by brand, right? Ibuki seems like the type who’d notice stuff
like that, so I asked him what they originally were. I thought he might get
suspicious, but he just straight up told me—they were Coke bottles.”
Coke. Easy to find under normal
circumstances, but now, with everything collapsed and no convenience stores to
stroll into, who knew if they could even find one? Taki seemed to be thinking
the same thing as he muttered, “Are there even four empty Coke bottles out
there?”
“If anywhere, the dump. They’re not
burning garbage, so if we dig around, we might find something. But with the
deadline coming up the day after tomorrow... it’s tight.”
The dump didn’t just have household
trash. Rubble from collapsed buildings had also been tossed there. Nothing was
sorted. Trying to find specific bottles in that mess would be a massive
undertaking. And there was no guarantee they’d even be there.
Taki groaned and clutched his head.
“Guess we gotta do it anyway. I’ll go check the dump tonight.”
“But aren’t there lookouts posted at
night? What are you gonna tell them? You don’t need to say you’re hunting
bottles, but if they start thinking you’re acting sketchy, Ibuki’s bound to get
suspicious.”
“Yeah… good point.”
They both fell silent, thinking.
Ryousuke wished he could be the one to go, but with his leg in this state, it
was out of the question. Still, he was secretly relieved to have a valid excuse
not to root around in garbage.
As his gaze wandered aimlessly, it
fell on the tall silhouette still pressed against the door. Then, an idea
clicked.
“Let’s have Shinobu look for them.”
Taki turned to the glass door.
“Come on, that’s kinda harsh. Going
through the dump in the middle of the night? And that area’s practically a
graveyard now. If it weren’t for this situation, I wouldn’t go anywhere near it
myself.”
Ryousuke didn’t say that was exactly
why Shinobu was the best choice. Instead, he searched for something that would
convince Taki.
“Shinobu’s good for this. He hasn’t
been sleeping, right? Better to give him something to do at night than force
him to lie down. Besides, Ibuki wouldn’t suspect him—he’s got no connection to
you.”
“Even so... asking someone out of
nowhere to go dig through trash for PET bottles? Will he even do it?”
“We can’t worry about what’s nice or
not anymore. If we can’t pull off this bottle swap, people are going to die.”
Taki shut his mouth and looked down.
What Ryousuke was saying was true—there was nothing to argue with.
“For now, let’s have Shinobu go look
tonight. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll come up with another plan tomorrow. This
is to save people’s lives. We can’t tell him the truth, but Shinobu… he’ll
understand.”
Once Taki nodded, Ryousuke raised
his voice. “Hey!” The tall figure hunched outside the door turned around. When
Ryousuke gestured him over, Shinobu moved sluggishly inside. His expression
wasn’t just sulky anymore—it was dark, shadowed.
“You done talking?”
“I’ve got a favor to ask.”
Shinobu’s expression shifted just a
little. His eyes widened, almost surprised.
“What is it, Ryou-chan?”
His voice had the slightest bounce
to it.
“I need you to go to the dump right
now and find four large Coke bottles. And whatever you do, don’t tell the
lookout guys you’re looking for PET bottles.”
Shinobu stared at him, but didn’t
say “okay.”
“Why does it have to be right now?
Can’t it wait until tomorrow? It’s already night. It’s dark out.”
It was a fair complaint. Ryousuke
softened his voice.
“I don’t want anyone to know. But
this is important, Shinobu. I have to get those bottles by tonight or something
bad could happen.”
“What kind of bad thing?”
“I can’t tell you that. But they’re
really, really important. Taki can’t do it—he’d get in trouble if anyone caught
him. And I can’t do it with my leg like this. You’re the only one I can ask.”
Shinobu slowly dropped his gaze.
“I’m scared… going out alone.”
“I’m begging you. Please, go look.”
There was no response. Ryousuke was
about to repeat himself when Shinobu lifted his head again. His voice was firm,
flat.
“Okay. I just need to find four Coke
bottles, right?”
“Yeah. Thanks. You’re really helping
me.”
He said the words of gratitude, but
inside, Ryousuke was grinning. He pictured Shinobu rummaging around the
graveyard-adjacent dump in the middle of the night, and it amused him. Even
after that awful fight, all it took was a little asking and the guy couldn’t
refuse. That pathetic obedience was oddly satisfying.
“Go on, then. But they’ve gotta be
Coke. Nothing else. If anyone asks what you’re looking for, don’t say PET
bottles. Just bluff something. And even if you don’t find anything, be back by
dawn, okay?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Sorry about this, Shinobu.”
Ignoring Taki, Shinobu just looked
at Ryousuke and muttered, “I’m going now,” before stepping out with the candle
in hand. Watching his back disappear, Taki muttered, “Man, that guy’s got a
real attitude.”
“Right? He’s got a terrible
personality. No charm, no brains.”
Taki grimaced. “Totally.”
“Well, at least he agreed to help.
He can handle the bottle hunt, so help me think through the switch part.”
“Of course.”
The two of them discussed the bottle
swap plan. On the morning of the departure, Taki would sneak the replacement
PET bottles into his supplies and head to Ibuki’s place. Then he’d ask someone
to call Ibuki outside, and while Ibuki was out, Taki would switch the poisoned
bottles for his decoys and hide the poison deep in the house. Once both had
left, Ryousuke would sneak into Ibuki’s place and dispose of the poison.
Once the plan was set, Taki balled
his fists and struck a little victory pose. “Alright!”
“I feel like this is really going to
work. As long as we find the PET bottles, we’re golden. I’m really glad I
talked to you about this, Ryousuke.”
Maybe it was the sense of relief,
but after that, the two of them chatted idly for a while. At one point, Taki
said, “I’m still kinda worried about Shinobu, I think I’ll go check on him,”
but Ryousuke stopped him, saying, “Better not draw attention to yourself.” That
was just an excuse—what he really wanted was to leave Shinobu alone out there.
When the clock passed midnight,
sleepiness set in. Taki had said he felt bad and would wait up for Shinobu, but
he ended up falling asleep before Ryousuke. The cold seeped through even inside
the store—outside, it must’ve been even worse. Imagining Shinobu digging
through trash in that freezing dark made Ryousuke oddly pleased. “Serves you
right for talking back to me, dumbass,” he muttered inwardly. Seeing Taki
sleeping beside him reassured him he wasn’t alone, and with that, Ryousuke
drifted into sleep.
He woke to a loud pounding on the
door just past 6 a.m.—still that thick pre-dawn darkness he’d grown used to. At
first the shock made his heart seize. He checked the time, then peeked through
the crack in the storage room door toward the glass front, and exhaled with
relief. He shook Taki’s shoulder, but the guy just grunted and didn’t open his
eyes. Giving up, Ryousuke crawled through the store to unlock the door himself.
Without a word, a cold presence
stepped inside. In the man’s hand were four large, grimy Coke bottles. Ryousuke
was genuinely impressed—he actually found them. “Here,” Shinobu said simply,
thrusting them toward him.
“Just put ’em in the corner.”
They were so filthy with dirt,
Ryousuke had no interest in touching them. He crawled back into the storage
room and gave Taki a hard shake.
“Oi, wake up.”
Taki groaned but didn’t stir, making
Ryousuke click his tongue in irritation. When he looked back, Shinobu was
standing directly behind him, silently staring down at the sleeping Taki.
“So Taki-san stayed here…”
His voice was low, accusatory.
“You two… slept together.”
“He passed out while we were
talking. Oi, get up.”
Finally opening his eyes, Taki
checked his watch and bolted upright.
“Shit, it’s already six-thirty?
Crap!”
He scrambled in a panic but then
suddenly froze, spotting Shinobu standing nearby.
“Ah… Shinobu…”
Apparently embarrassed that he’d
fallen asleep after making someone else do the hard work, Taki gave a sheepish
smile. Shinobu didn’t react—his expression blank as a noh mask—and Taki’s
awkwardness only deepened. Ryousuke spoke up to break the silence.
“He found the bottles. Four of ’em.
Spot on.”
“Oh man, that’s a huge help. Thank
you!”
Taki stood and held out his right
hand with a smile. Shinobu blatantly ignored it, stepping back without
hesitation. The snub was so obvious that Taki’s smile faltered. Ryousuke
smacked Shinobu’s calf, making his lanky body jolt slightly.
“He said thanks.”
Shinobu glanced down at Ryousuke,
muttering a curt “whatever…” under his breath. With a strained smile, Taki
packed the dirty bottles into a large paper bag and hurried out the door. As
the food delivery guy, he had to pick up rations from Ibuki’s place by 7 a.m.
and start distributing them to everyone.
As soon as they were alone, Shinobu
looked down at Ryousuke.
“I didn’t do that for Taki-san. I
did it for you, Ryou-chan.”
He crouched to Ryousuke’s level and
reached out a finger, only for Ryousuke to slap it away.
“Don’t touch me with those filthy
hands. Go to the well and wash yourself already.”
After driving off the filthy boy,
Ryousuke returned to the storage room and crawled under the curtain. He had
just begun to doze off when a cold hand touched his cheek, and he startled
awake.
“Shinobu?”
Even without seeing his face in the
dark, Ryousuke knew that cool, heavy-handed touch.
“Light the candle.”
The fingers withdrew, and with the
flick of a lighter, the room brightened. Right in front of him was Shinobu’s
face, watching him closely—his eyes were swollen, puffy and red to a shocking
degree. Sure, anyone would be a little puffy after staying up all night, but
this was worse than expected.
“What the hell’s with your face?”
“I was crying…”
Shinobu’s cracked lips barely moved
as he spoke.
“It was scary… searching in that
place. I was so scared, I couldn’t stop crying, the whole time…”
Tears welled up again from Shinobu’s
swollen eyes and trailed down his cheeks.
“Ryou-chan… I told you, didn’t I? I
said I don’t want to be alone. I told you over and over…”
He had. Again and again, Ryousuke
had heard it—Shinobu clinging to him, terrified. But ever since the confession,
he’d stopped believing it. He’d convinced himself the fear was a front, just an
excuse to cling to him out of impure motives.
But now Shinobu, eyes puffy and raw,
reached out and clung tightly to Ryousuke’s stomach as he tried to back away.
He’d been told not to touch him. Yet it was as if, having braved the night
alone, digging through trash to find PET bottles, Shinobu believed he had
earned the right. He clung fiercely, though his fingertips trembled—whether
from the cold water he’d washed in that morning or from lingering fear,
Ryousuke couldn’t tell.
“I don’t want you to get close to Taki-san…
I’ll do anything, I’ll do whatever you want, so please…”
What a selfish thing to say. Shinobu
had been out in the world, meeting people, adapting to life here. Ryousuke, on
the other hand, had no one. Just Taki and Tamura. And now this guy wanted to
use his cheap possessiveness to claim even that meager contact for himself?
“Sure, being with you is convenient.
But what am I supposed to do about the part of me that isn’t satisfied being
with you?”
He pointed at his own chest as
Shinobu looked up, startled.
“You only satisfy my day-to-day
needs. That’s it.”
“I… I don’t get it.”
Shinobu’s face twisted in confusion.
“You’re not enough. Talking to you
just frustrates me. Maybe we’ve never been compatible.”
“That’s not true. We can understand
each other—if we talk more, really talk, then—”
“You’re an idiot.”
Ryousuke muttered it before he even
realized it.
“How long have we been together? Ten
years, right? Ten years at my side, and I’m telling you we don’t click. Can’t
you see it? This isn’t something you fix with time. We weren’t made to match
from the start, and I’m not interested in trying anymore. It’s pointless.”
“Don’t deny me.”
It wasn’t about denial. From the
very beginning, from the moment they met, Shinobu had only ever been a thing
to him. A convenient tool. Something useful. The very idea that this thing
might try to stand as an equal was absurd.
“I don’t care if you hate me, Ryou-chan.
Our bond won’t disappear. Even if I end up in hell and we’re torn apart, it
won’t disappear.”
From behind his swollen lids,
Shinobu’s eyes narrowed further. That clinging, murmuring tone filled Ryousuke
with a vague but undeniable revulsion.
“There were people—my mom’s
friends—who came to the house, and they’d always mistake me for your dad’s
son.”
It came out of nowhere.
“That’s because you wandered around
the house like you lived there. If someone knew my dad had a high school–aged
son, of course they’d assume it was you.”
But Shinobu ignored his reply and
continued speaking, like he was singing.
“Everyone always said we looked so
much alike. That made me really happy. Some even said you and I looked alike, Ryou-chan.
You always denied it, said we didn’t look anything alike… but I’ve always
thought we did.”
The way Shinobu spoke, so laden with
implication, made it impossible for Ryousuke not to sense what he was trying to
say. Even so, he thought—No way. Something like that couldn’t possibly
be true.
“I was born in June, and Ryou-chan,
you’re October, right? So that means I’m the older brother.”
Shinobu said it with a smile, and
Ryousuke felt a chill run down his spine. He swung his fist, but it cut through
empty air—his servant, his thing, had dodged it.
“Don’t spout disgusting lies. Trying
to get my attention with that crap won’t work. You really think my old man
would ever have anything to do with your mother? With Sae?! No way in hell!”
But no matter what he said, the
confident look on Shinobu’s face didn’t waver.
“It was my mom that Dad really
loved. He married your mom to build the foundation he needed to become a
politician, that’s all. He doted on me so much… I always felt sorry for you, Ryou-chan,
since you had no idea.”
“Cut the bullshit!”
Even as he yelled, a storm of doubt
roared through his chest. Shinobu, treated like family—coddled beyond reason
for a servant’s son. His father, who tolerated the unreliable Sae without
complaint. He’d always thought something was off. The sense of wrongness had
piled up over the years.
“Mom and Dad made me promise not to
tell anyone. Said I couldn’t ever let you know, or Mika-chan, or even your mom.
But I don’t need to keep that promise anymore, right? They’re all probably dead
now anyway.”
With lowered eyes, Shinobu calmly
delivered the final blow.
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