Deep Breath: Chapter 1 - part 3

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After work that day, Yachi went to the hospital. Nishida had apologized, and Yachi had tried to play it off as if it was nothing, but deep down, he was terrified that his hearing might never return.

It turned out that the blow from Nishida had caused a strong pressure on his ear, resulting in a ruptured eardrum.

Eardrum ruptures can vary from small pinhole tears to larger ruptures, and in Yachi’s case, it was a fairly significant tear.

The doctor reassured Yachi that the eardrum would heal and his hearing would return to normal. However, because the tear was large, it would take some time to heal, and if it didn’t heal properly, surgery might be required.

Yachi returned home around 2 PM and felt overwhelmingly sleepy. He had a late lunch with a bento he bought from a nearby convenience store, and just as he was about to lie down, the phone rang.

He had no idea who it could be. He wondered if it might be Nishida, but it wasn’t.

"This is Haruno. I hope I didn’t wake you."

Haruno’s voice lacked its usual crispness.

"No, I’m fine."

"I’m sorry for what happened at the shop. I provoked him, and because of that, you were injured..."

The conflict had indeed started with their argument, but it ultimately stemmed from Yachi reprimanding Nishida for his work attitude. It wasn’t entirely Haruno’s fault.

"It wasn’t your fault, Haruno-kacho, so please don’t worry about it."

Even as Yachi said this, the tension in Haruno’s voice didn’t ease.

"How is your ear?"

"My ear..."

Yachi hesitated.

"It’s fine. There’s a small hole in my eardrum, so my hearing is a bit off, but it should heal with time."

"I see."

Yachi could sense Haruno’s relief. Knowing that he had caused Haruno such concern made Yachi feel a bit guilty.

"I’m sorry to have worried you and to have made you call. I really am fine."

Given the time, Yachi assumed Haruno was at work. He didn’t want to burden him with a long conversation, but since Haruno had called, Yachi felt awkward about ending the call abruptly.

"I’d like to do something to make up for this."

Haruno’s offer flustered Yachi.

"That’s really not necessary. As I mentioned earlier, this isn’t your fault, and my ear is fine—really, it’s no big deal. Your concern is more than enough."

Despite Yachi’s efforts to refuse, Haruno insisted, "I won’t feel right if I don’t do something."

As they continued talking, Yachi felt like he was being pressured by Haruno’s persistence. Feeling it was impolite, but seeing no other way out, Yachi quickly said, "I really appreciate your concern, but your kindness is enough. Thank you for calling. Goodbye," and hurriedly hung up.

The conversation with Haruno had completely shaken off Yachi’s drowsiness. Trying to clear his mind, he took a shower. The doctor had advised him not to get his ear wet, so Yachi carefully avoided washing his hair and used earplugs. After warming up, he lay down in bed.

Aside from the hearing loss, there were no other issues, so Yachi decided he would go to work that night. He couldn’t afford to take time off for something like this. The night was long, and if he didn’t get enough sleep, his body wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Yachi slept until an hour before he had to leave, but no one called. He woke up at 10 PM, got ready, and stepped outside. The air was freezing. As he rode his bike, his hands began to feel numb, and it felt strange to only hear the sounds coming from his right side.

When he arrived at the shop, he was surprised to find the manager working the night shift. Nishida had abruptly quit, and the manager was filling in for him. Yachi hadn’t mentioned the fight to the manager, thinking it was a personal matter and that Nishida might feel awkward about it, but now that Nishida had quit, there was no point.

As the manager put on his apron, the man in his mid-thirties muttered with a scowl, "Young people these days, I swear."

"They have no sense of responsibility. If they don’t like it, they just quit. Nishida called and said, 'I’m quitting,' and then asked, 'Do I get paid for the days I worked?' He’s got some nerve, I’ll give him that..."

Listening to the manager’s complaints left Yachi with mixed feelings. The previous night, Nishida had apologized to Yachi before leaving. Yachi hadn’t been angry, knowing it wasn’t intentional. But Nishida had abruptly quit without considering the inconvenience to others and hadn’t even checked on Yachi’s condition after injuring him. This spoke volumes about Nishida’s character.

"...Yachi-san, Yachi-san."

Lost in thought, Yachi didn’t realize the manager had been calling his name, and the fact that it was coming from his left side didn’t help.

"Yachi-san, can you hear me?"

The manager’s irritated voice snapped Yachi back to reality, and he hurriedly apologized, "I’m sorry."

"My hearing isn’t great right now. I can’t hear well from the left side."

The manager tilted his head.

"Did you get injured?"

Yachi hesitated to blame Nishida, feeling like it would be tattling, even though Nishida had already quit.

"I fell and hit my left ear, and my eardrum ruptured. So, I can’t hear well on that side."

The manager leaned in, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"They said it should heal in about a month, but until then, my hearing is a bit off. But I can hear fine from my right side, so I can still work."

The manager patted Yachi on the shoulder, saying, "That sounds rough." The manager seemed to be considerate of Yachi’s hearing issue that night and only assigned him to the register while he took his break.

As dawn broke, the morning shift arrived to take over at 8 AM. Yachi exited through the back door and removed the chain lock from his bike in the employee parking area.

The handlebars and saddle were icy cold. Yachi thought it was time to start wearing gloves as he rode out from the alley onto the main street.

In front of the shop stood a man in a black coat. They noticed each other almost simultaneously. Yachi stopped his bike.

"Good morning."

Breathing out white puffs of air, Haruno gave Yachi a small bow.

"Good morning."

Yachi felt a bit awkward, remembering how he had abruptly ended the phone call the other day.

"Is your ear alright?"

"It doesn’t hurt, and I can hear just a little less from that side. My right ear is fine, so it’s not affecting my daily life. I’m sorry to have worried you."

Haruno had a complex expression on his face, hard to read. He then handed Yachi a paper bag he was holding.

"As a small apology, please accept this."

Yachi didn’t want to take it, so he kept his hands on his bike’s handlebars.

"Please, there’s no need to trouble yourself. I’d feel uncomfortable accepting it."

Though Yachi tried to decline, Haruno didn’t back down. In the middle of the sidewalk, the two of them continued their back-and-forth, with Haruno insisting Yachi take it and Yachi refusing. Finally, Haruno said, "If you don’t accept it, I’ll be late for work," and pushed the bag into Yachi’s hands.

Yachi reflexively accepted it but considered returning it. However, Haruno refused to take it back, glanced at his watch, gave Yachi a quick bow, and walked off toward the station.

Chasing after him to return the gift seemed too much. In the end, Yachi thought it might have been better to simply accept it from the start instead of making such a fuss, but now it was too late.

At home, Yachi opened the bag and took out its contents. It was a set of coffee beans in a tin, and as soon as he opened it, a rich, aromatic scent filled the air.

When he was still working at the company, he often drank coffee during breaks, but after leaving, he had stopped for no particular reason.

The smell triggered a sudden craving for coffee. The beans were already ground, so all he needed was a dripper and some filters. After rummaging around the kitchen, he found a yellowed coffee filter and a dripper in the back of a cupboard.

Unlike instant coffee, it took some effort to prepare, but the resulting coffee had a rich, deep flavor, balanced perfectly between bitterness and acidity, and it was surprisingly delicious.

Holding a mug in hand, Yachi sat on the veranda. The garden, once well-tended when his mother was alive, was now overgrown with weeds and in disarray.

The bushes nearby rustled, and a cat emerged. It rubbed against Yachi’s legs and then jumped onto his lap.

As he stroked the cat’s head, Yachi thought about Haruno. After what had happened, Yachi had a feeling that Haruno would no longer be involved in his life. He figured that the exchange over the gift was likely their last interaction. With that thought, he gazed absentmindedly at the winter-bare garden.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Since switching to the night shift, Yachi had more weekends off. On a cold, rainy Sunday afternoon, he sat in his living room, reading a book in his floor chair. That morning, he had gone to a nearby bookstore and bought five mystery novels from a series.

He finished the first book and, lulled by the dreary atmosphere of the rainy afternoon, was starting to doze off when the phone rang. He remembered hearing last week that his aunt wasn’t feeling well, so he hurriedly answered, thinking it might be bad news.

"This is Haruno."

Hearing the name made Yachi tense up for a different reason.

"Oh, hello. Thank you for the generous gift the other day."

The coffee was a gift from two days ago. It wasn’t until now that Yachi realized he hadn’t thanked Haruno for it.

"How’s your ear doing?"

Yachi found it strange that Haruno had called to check on him. Given their past interactions at work and how Haruno had frequently visited the bento shop, Yachi hadn’t imagined him to be so considerate.

"There’s not much change. At first, it was inconvenient not being able to hear well, but I’ve gotten used to it."

"I see."

During the brief silence, Yachi pondered. Was Haruno checking up on him out of concern, or was it guilt? The more he thought about it, the more his feelings cooled.

"There’s no need to worry about my ear. Really, it’s nothing for you to be concerned about, Haruno-kacho."

"As I mentioned before," Haruno began, his voice low but clear, even over the phone, "I’m no longer your boss, so there’s no need to use my title. You also don’t need to speak so formally with me."

Yachi felt his ears grow hot, as if his whole body was shrinking just from holding the receiver.

"Oh, right."

He was frustrated with himself for responding with a self-deprecating chuckle, but he didn’t know how else to react.

"It’s just an old habit that I can’t seem to break."

An awkward silence fell between them again.

"I did some research and learned that you have a ruptured eardrum, correct?"

"Ah, yes."

"It can take anywhere from a month to six months to heal. If you encounter any difficulties during that time, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me."

Yachi had avoided giving detailed information about his ear, not wanting to worry Haruno unnecessarily. But hearing that Haruno had gone out of his way to research it made Yachi think he should have been more upfront from the start.

"Thank you for your concern."

Even if Yachi did face difficulties because of his hearing, he had no intention of calling Haruno. He was too old to take social niceties at face value.

Another silence followed. The conversation seemed to have reached its end, but Haruno didn’t hang up. Yachi didn’t want to be rude and abruptly end the call like before, so he waited patiently for Haruno to make the next move.

"I read the book."

Haruno’s voice came quietly through the phone.

"The White Rose series by Eric August."

Since Yachi had recommended it, he felt obligated to ask for Haruno’s thoughts.

"What did you think?"

"I enjoyed it. I could guess some of the twists early on, but the story moved quickly and kept me hooked until the end."

Yachi was relieved that Haruno had enjoyed a book he liked, especially after Haruno’s initial reservations about mystery novels.

"That series is full of unexpected events, so it never gets boring. I agree, you can sometimes see the twists coming, but I think the author deliberately gives readers hints."

"Hints?" Haruno asked.

Yachi shrugged.

"There are different ways to enjoy mysteries. Some people like figuring things out as they go."

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Haruno murmured, "That’s deep."

"You seem to read a lot in this genre, Yachi-san."

"Reading is my only hobby."

"I mentioned this before, but when I first heard you liked books, I assumed you read literary fiction. I never imagined you’d be into mysteries, especially by foreign authors."

Yachi suddenly wondered what kind of image Haruno had of him.

"I do read literary fiction too. But I find that Japanese literary works often hit too close to home, so I tend to read more mysteries. I think I prefer foreign authors because their stories are on a grander scale, and the settings are so different from my own life."

"So, it’s about experiencing something out of the ordinary?"

"Exactly. For me, reading is a form of entertainment. I’d rather immerse myself in a world of imagination than dwell on real-life concerns."

"Are you dissatisfied with your current life?"

Haruno’s straightforward question left me speechless. The bluntness of his words felt harsh, lacking any ambiguity. I could go on endlessly if I started talking about my physical issues, financial troubles, the reality of being laid off and surviving on part-time jobs, and the vague anxiety I have about the future.

"It would be a lie to say I have no complaints, but those aren't really related to my reading habits. I’ve enjoyed reading since I was a student," I replied.

"I see," Haruno said, and then silence fell between us once again. How many times had this happened already? I wished he would just end the conversation. Honestly, I was exhausted.

"I’ve read almost the entire White Rose series, but there are two books I couldn’t find and still haven’t read," Haruno said.

I could have just brushed off my comment with a simple "I see," to try to steer the conversation into safer territory, but that felt too forced.

"What are the titles of those books?"

"‘The One-Legged Man’ and ‘The Twins’ Memories.’"

"I have those. Would you like to borrow them?"

"Would that be alright? Thank you," Haruno said.

I offered to lend the books, but I suddenly realized I hadn’t thought about how I’d hand them over. Then, Haruno asked, "Do you have any plans to go out today?"

"No."

"Would it be okay if I came by to borrow them?"

"Wait, you’re coming to my house?"

"I’d like to read them as soon as possible. But if it’s inconvenient, I can come another time."

It wasn’t that it would be an inconvenience, but with him putting it that way, I couldn’t exactly refuse.

"Do you know where my house is? It’s a bit tricky to find since it’s off the main road…"

"I have a friend who lives in Douyama-cho, so I know how to get to the main road. I’ll call you when I get close, and you can give me directions from there."

"Oh, okay…"

"Alright then, I’ll call you later," he said, and the call ended. What had started as a calm Sunday afternoon now seemed like it was about to become much more hectic.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Haruno showed up about an hour after our phone call. I heard his voice from the garden, saying, "Excuse me," and I hurriedly slipped on my sandals, grabbed an umbrella, and went outside.

Beyond the wooden gate stood Haruno, wearing a dark coat over deep-colored jeans and holding a green umbrella.

"Sorry for coming over so suddenly."

"No, it’s fine… Please, come in," I said, opening the gate and inviting him into the yard. From the moment he stepped into the garden, Haruno kept glancing around, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was assessing the value of my home and garden. It made me uncomfortable.

Before Haruno arrived, I had thought it over. To be honest, I wished he would just take the books at the door and leave. But given the rain and the fact that he had come all the way here just to borrow some books, I couldn’t turn him away without inviting him inside.

"Sorry for the mess. This way," I said as I led him inside and into the living room.

"Please, have a seat," I offered, pointing to the area in front of the kotatsu. Haruno handed me a small paper bag he had been holding.

"This is for you," he said.

"Oh… What is it?" I asked, a bit taken aback.

"A small token of thanks for lending me the books."

"Oh, no, you really didn’t have to…" I began to refuse, but then I remembered our awkward exchange the other morning. I realized that refusing would just make things even more uncomfortable, so I accepted the gift with a "Thank you."

As I opened the bag, I saw several brown, round objects that looked like nuts or fruit. They weren’t chestnuts, as I had initially thought, but they were similarly round, with cracked skins.

"What are these?"

"They’re lychees. I thought you might like them, though I know they’re not to everyone’s taste."

I’d heard of lychees before, but I’d never actually seen one.

"How do you eat them?"

"They’re fruit, so you just peel the skin off and eat them as they are."

"I see…" I mumbled, rolling one of the brown fruits around in my hand.

"I’m quite fond of them, but have you ever tried them, Yachi-san?"

"No, I haven’t. Oh, please, have a seat," I said, leaving Haruno in the living room while I went to the kitchen. I set the kettle to boil and prepared coffee. As I stared at the two cups I had placed on the counter, I tried to remember the last time I had invited someone into my home. Before I could recall, the kettle began to whistle, and I quickly turned off the gas.

I placed the lychees on a plate, but I wasn’t sure whether I should peel them or leave them as they were. In the end, I decided to serve them alongside the coffee, a knife, and a tray, and returned to the living room.

Haruno immediately reached out for the coffee with a "Thank you," and took a sip, letting out a small sigh of relief. As he held the cup in both hands, I glanced out the window, wondering if it had really been that cold outside. The rain had continued to fall steadily since morning, with no signs of letting up.

"That coffee is from the beans you gave me, Haruno-san. It’s really delicious."

"It’s an original blend from a coffee shop I frequent."

The conversation trailed off, and a silence settled between us, with the kotatsu in between. Trying to fill the awkward silence, I pointed to the brown fruit I had almost forgotten the name of and said, "Please, help yourself."

"Thank you," Haruno replied, but he made no move to take one.

Since he had given them to me, I wondered if he was waiting for me to start. I picked up one of the fruits, but I wasn’t sure where to begin. The tough skin made me hesitant to peel it.

"Are lychees really that unusual?" Haruno asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, no… I was just thinking that the skin looks tough, so it might be hard to peel."

"You can peel it with your hands, like you would an egg," Haruno said.

Following his instructions, I dug my nails into the tough skin, which surprisingly came off easily. Inside was a white, grape-like flesh. I hesitantly took a bite. The flesh was firmer than a grape, and as I chewed, a sugary sweetness filled my mouth.

"How is it?" Haruno asked, waiting for me to finish.

"It’s sweet."

"Do you not like sweet things?"

"Not exactly. It just… smells like laundry starch."

"Laundry starch…?"

Haruno’s expression stiffened as he furrowed his brows.

"Oh, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It just reminded me of the starch my mother used to use when I was a kid, the kind that came in a plastic bag or a round container."

"I’ve never seen that before," Haruno replied, his tone flat.

Realizing I might have upset him, I forced a vague smile.

"It’s probably not around anymore. It was a long time ago, after all."

I had only spoken my thoughts, but I felt as if I had somehow angered Haruno. We already didn’t quite click in conversation, and I decided it was best not to say anything unnecessary. To cover up the awkwardness, I ate another lychee and then stood up.

"I’ll go get the books," I said.

The moment I stepped into the hallway, putting some distance between us, I felt a sense of relief. I entered the small room that served as my bedroom and began searching the bookshelf for the White Rose series. I found them quickly, but then spent a few moments rearranging the books and tidying the shelf. After stalling for as long as I could, I realized I had kept him waiting too long and headed back to the living room.

I met Haruno’s gaze as he sat there, and at the same moment, he remarked, "You have a cat, don’t you?"

"A cat?"

I looked down and saw a tabby cat curled up on Haruno’s lap. The cat had always been friendly, but its lack of boundaries never ceased to amaze me. I glanced up at the grandfather clock. It was too early for the cat to be begging for its evening meal, so it must have cut its outdoor playtime short due to the bad weather.

"The cat’s pretty heavy. You can shoo it away if you want. If you don’t, it’ll just stay there as long as you let it."

Haruno gently petted the cat’s head. His awkward movements made it clear that he wasn’t used to handling animals.

"What’s its name?" he asked.

"It doesn’t have one. It’s not really my cat," I replied.

Haruno tilted his head, puzzled.

"But it walked in here like it owned the place."

"I think it’s because I feed it in the morning and evening."

"You feed it and let it stay in your house, but you don’t consider it your cat?"

Hearing it said aloud, I realized how odd that sounded. But it was true—I didn’t think of it as my pet.

"I think of my house as its second home," I said.

I didn’t think I’d said anything particularly funny, but Haruno burst out laughing. The cat, startled, jumped off his lap.

Haruno narrowed his eyes and shook with laughter. He was usually so expressionless, and even when he did smile, it was only a slight movement of his lips. This was the first time I’d ever seen him laugh so freely.

Not long after, Haruno left, braving the rain with the book he had borrowed in hand. As I cleaned up the hard shells left on the kotatsu table, I reflected on the subtle change that had come over what should have been an ordinary Sunday.

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