Cow Thief: Chapter 7

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The amount of luggage wasn't too much, and it didn't take long to bring it all inside. Ryoichiro went to return the borrowed cart, and Tokuma unpacked while cleaning the house. By the time the house was mostly tidied up, the sun had tilted far to the west.

Ryoichiro returned, drenched in sweat, and Tokuma handed him a wrung-out hand towel and some water. Ryoichiro sat down on the living room sofa and drank the water in one gulp. After catching his breath, he stood up and, for some reason, pulled the curtains shut on the window.

“Ryoichiro, the room is getting dark.”

“The widow next door was walking by.”

There was nothing in the house that would be embarrassing to be seen, yet Tokuma tilted his head.

“Now that you mention it, about that camellia that blooms year-round… could it be that she mistook it for another flower?”

When Chie had asked, Ryoichiro had firmly stated, “There’s no camellia that blooms year-round.”

“Are you interested in the beautiful widow next door?”

“It’s not that, but she seemed quite eager to know.”

“Hm,” Ryoichiro snorted.

“It’s possible she mistook it, but I can’t believe there’s a flower in this world that blooms year-round, like that widow said.”

“Why is that?”

“She said it blooms all year, didn’t she? I’ve never seen or heard of a flower that blooms all year round. More importantly, would you rather have it brighter in here?”

Pressed further, Tokuma replied, “Yes.”

Ryoichiro smiled and said, “I think it’s better darker,” and, grinning, grabbed Tokuma’s wrist. Leaning in close, he whispered in his ear, “I’m hungry.”

“The kitchen still isn’t tidied up, so shall we go out for dinner tonight?”

“I’ve been holding out since noon, I’m about to faint from hunger.”

“You could’ve eaten the onigiri for lunch, though. Was that not enough?”

Ryoichiro led Tokuma to the table, making him lean forward, and then climbed on top of him, pressing his upper body down. The hot breath on his neck and the fingers trying to undo his hakama strings made Tokuma finally realize Ryoichiro’s intent.

"What... what are you doing?"

Completely unprepared for such a request in this place, Tokuma panicked.

"Let me taste something delicious," Ryoichiro whispered, his voice husky with desire. Tokuma's skin prickled with goosebumps as his hakama fell to the wooden floor with a soft thud.

"If that's the case, let's go upstairs to the bedroom. The futon is already laid out," Tokuma suggested, trying to regain composure.

"I can't wait anymore."

Ryoichiro slid his fingers into the folds of Tokuma's kimono, tugging at the ties of his fundoshi with no intention of delaying.

"Please stop this."

Tokuma pleaded, but Ryoichiro ignored him, pulling his kimono up to his back. Tokuma's exposed skin trembled as Ryoichiro's wet fingers touched his buttocks. He felt a shiver run down his spine as Ryoichiro gently parted his secret place. Despite thinking that this wasn't the right place, his body responded to the touch, his core stirring with anticipation.

Tokuma bit his lip, desperately trying to stifle the moans that threatened to escape. Ryoichiro whispered in his ear, "Make some noise. The brick wall is sturdy, and no one will hear you. You don't have to worry about the neighbors anymore. Scream as much as you want."

Tokuma knew that Ryoichiro was aware of how he had always struggled to suppress his cries of pleasure whenever they made love in the cramped longhouse, separated from the neighboring rooms by only a thin wall.

"That's why I brought you here," Ryoichiro whispered. "Don't hold back, let me hear your sweet voice."

Tokuma's face flushed with embarrassment, but he couldn't help the trembling voice that replied, "Yes."

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Ryoichiro had finished twice inside Tokuma. Politely declining the offer to assist him, Tokuma quietly cleaned up in the corner of the kitchen. That table, he thought with a pang of embarrassment, would still be used for meals in the future. The memory of today's intimacy would undoubtedly resurface every time they sat there, causing him to squirm at the thought.

After adjusting his kimono, Tokuma returned to the living room. Ryoichiro was sprawled out on the couch, dozing off. He had probably grown tired from pulling the heavy cart and walking so much. As he looked at the disheveled front of Ryoichiro's shirt, revealing the aftermath of their shared passion, his body, once sated with love, began to stir again with heat.

Tokuma knelt by Ryoichiro's head and stared at his sleeping face. Occasionally, his mouth moved as though he were nibbling on something, which was quite endearing. Taking the limp hand dangling off the couch, Tokuma gently pressed it against his cheek. The only word that came to mind was love. Love, love for this man...

From beyond the window, the sound of the cat, Kuwaba, mewing could be heard. Tokuma quietly pulled his hand away and stepped outside. The sky was completely dyed in a reddish hue, long shadows stretched across the ground. Kuwaba, still in the form of a cat, mewed once more from the roots of a tree.

Lifting Kuwaba into his arms, Tokuma whispered near his ear, "Thank you for your hard work." Concealing the cat in his kimono sleeve, he watched as Kuwaba transformed with a ripple, shrinking into an oni the size of a mouse.

Peeking out from beneath the sleeve, Kuwaba licked his lips with a red tongue, his expression impish.

"The Western mononoke are steeped in curses and grudges. Delicious, they were. And it seems I killed two of them in the process."

It seemed these weren’t mere wandering spirits but particularly malevolent ghosts.

"The young master does attract us oni and yokai rather easily, doesn’t he?"

Tokuma sighed. Ryoichiro had explicitly told him, "Don't use oni for my sake." But Tokuma couldn’t follow that instruction, knowing how easily Ryoichiro attracted such beings. Tokuma lacked the power to exorcise yokai or mononoke on his own, leaving him no choice but to rely on the strength of the oni.

"Creatures like those cling to a person for life," Kuwaba murmured.

Tokuma gave a small, wry smile.

"It can't be helped."

"Tokuma, where are you?"

Ryoichiro's voice called for him, filled with warmth and longing. Hastily, Tokuma murmured the oni’s name, tucking him back into his palm before replying, "I’m outside, Ryoichiro-san."

◇:-:◆:-:◇

…It was a sweltering night in mid-July, not even half a month since they had moved into their new rented house, when Tokuma first noticed the smell. Ryoichiro was late coming home, and Tokuma, growing anxious, went out to the garden several times, but he could not see him. As he hesitated whether to send Kuwaba to check on him, the front door slammed loudly. Surprised by the roughness of the sound, Tokuma went to greet him, and as expected, Ryoichiro appeared with a grim expression.

It was not unusual for him to be in a bad mood, so Tokuma wasn’t particularly concerned about that, but as they passed each other, a faint scent of face powder drifted from Ryoichiro, and Tokuma stood frozen in place.

Even when they went to the bathhouse together, Ryoichiro remained silent, lost in thought. When they returned home, he immediately crawled into bed. When Tokuma asked about dinner, Ryoichiro simply replied, "I’ve eaten already," with no more than a curt response, leaving Tokuma to eat the cold meal alone.

After finishing the dishes, Tokuma polished Ryoichiro's shoes. Even though they lived in a Western-style house where shoes were worn indoors, it still felt uncomfortable. When Ryoichiro came home, he would take off his shoes in the entryway and change into slippers. As Tokuma polished the scattered shoes with an old cloth, a sadness welled up within him, and tears began to fall.

The late return, the scent of face powder, and Ryoichiro's indifferent attitude toward him—all of it pointed to one thing. Ryoichiro had been with a woman. There was no other explanation. His chest ached, like a wound, and he could feel the sharp pain of it. He had fallen in love with his younger, temperamental, spoiled master, but as a servant and a man, Tokuma had never been able to express his feelings. Even if he could never say "I love you" for his entire life, he had resolved to stay by Ryoichiro's side, doing his best until the day Ryoichiro married.

When his feelings were finally reciprocated, Tokuma wondered if it was all a dream. Ryoichiro had confessed he had always loved him, and when he was wanted, it felt like his heart was soaring to the heavens. True to his word, Ryoichiro treated him with care and tenderness. Although he was a hot-tempered man, quick to sulk and get upset, he never treated Tokuma roughly, and whenever he said something harsh in a fit of emotion, he would always apologize afterward.

With money running low and no longer able to afford a maid, Tokuma had taken on the role of both maid and wife. Cooking and laundry never bothered him, and he was actually happy to do it for Ryoichiro. Even though he was loved and happy, the anxiety that lingered in the corners of his heart never faded. It was because he knew that Ryoichiro had been with several women before.

If Ryoichiro ever said he preferred women, Tokuma knew that, unable to bear children, he would quietly step aside. Perhaps even if he married, Ryoichiro might still tell him to stay and work here...

Tokuma clutched the shoes tightly to his chest, and tears streamed down his face. After being loved so gently, there was no way he could return to being just a servant. Before they had confessed their feelings, Tokuma could have accepted Ryoichiro’s affairs with women and thought, “It can’t be helped.” But now, it was impossible. Jealous of the women who were loved by him, Tokuma felt he would rather disappear before exposing the ugly side of himself.

“What are you doing?”

When he turned around, Ryoichiro stood in the doorway, wearing his pajamas. Tokuma hadn’t noticed the footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Are you crying?”

In a panic, Tokuma lowered his head and wiped the tears from his cheeks. The footsteps grew closer, and Ryoichiro gently stroked his head. The tenderness made the pain sharper, and the tears that he thought he had wiped away began to fall again, leaving dark stains on the floor.

“Why are you hugging my shoes and crying?”

Shaking his head as if unwilling, Tokuma's chin was grasped, and his face was roughly lifted.

“Say something. If you don’t, I won’t know why you’re crying,”

Ryoichiro’s eyes were filled with confusion. He gently wiped away Tokuma’s overflowing tears with his soft fingers.

“Is it because I didn’t eat the dinner you made for me? If you leave it, I’ll eat it tomorrow morning.”

As Tokuma sniffled and looked down, Ryoichiro roughly snatched the shoes from his hands and threw them against the wall. In the moment of shock from the violence, Tokuma was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace.

“Aren’t you supposed to be holding me, not the shoes?”

His chest ached. Along with the pain, a sense of longing mixed in, and Tokuma wrapped his arms around the back of his beloved man and cried uncontrollably.

“Even when I’m angry, even when I’m kind, even when I hug you, you cry. What should I do?”

After sobbing so much that Ryoichiro’s pajama shoulder was soaked, Tokuma finally regained his composure.

“You’ve found someone you like, haven’t you?”

With a strained voice, Tokuma spoke, and Ryoichiro replied with a vague “Huh?”

“I only like you. Why are you suddenly saying something like that?”

“I’m just a man. If I’m no longer needed, feel free to throw me away.”

“Wait a minute. What have I done?”

Still gripping his collar, Ryoichiro shook him roughly.

“The face powder...”

“What about the face powder?”

“Isn’t it because you’ve been with someone, that’s why there’s a scent of face powder?”

“I haven’t been with a woman. I just ate dinner with Hara-kun tonight, that’s all…”

His words trailed off, and as though recalling something, Ryoichiro added, “Ah.”

“On the way home, I ran into Hara-kun’s lover by the roadside. She was squatting down because she felt sick, so I carried her on my back to Hara-kun’s house. Hara-kun himself had drunk too much and was unsteady on his feet, so he couldn’t help. That’s why I came home late.”

Ryoichiro was a man of earnestness, but not very quick-witted. He wasn’t good at telling smooth lies.

“Hara-kun’s lover is certainly an elegant beauty, but her makeup is far too thick. That kind of showy, flamboyant woman isn’t to my taste.”

Then, Ryoichiro gently stroked Tokuma’s wet cheek.

“I like people who are alluring only in front of me.”

Embarrassed, Tokuma turned bright red and curled up in place. Ryoichiro was sincere. He understood that, but still, he had doubted over something so trivial. Despite being loved so much, Tokuma felt ashamed of his own inability to trust completely.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I was irritable today too, and that’s why I was distant.”

When comforted so gently, Tokuma felt even emptier inside.

“Really, really sorry.”

“It’s fine now.”

When Tokuma cautiously raised his face, Ryoichiro’s eyes were smiling gently.

“Do you feel bad about it? You doubt me, even though I love you this much.”

“I do feel bad.”

“Then you should kiss me.”

Tokuma blinked widely.

“In foreign countries, it’s customary to kiss when making up. You should kiss me too.”

Until now, Tokuma had always been the one to receive, never to ask for anything. It felt shameful to desire something from Ryoichiro himself.

“But, but…”

“Do you not want to make up with me?”

Even though he knew it was all in jest, Tokuma couldn’t refuse when Ryoichiro said it like that. He kissed the man he loved with a kiss as light as a feather. The kiss Tokuma started was quickly taken by Ryoichiro, and his head grew dizzy as his tongue was entwined in a fierce embrace.

If... Tokuma thought in that moment, if I were to no longer be loved by this man, if he grew tired of me, I would die. I’d quietly disappear. I’d be eaten by a yokai in the mountains. If I disappeared without a trace, I felt like Ryoichiro wouldn’t suffer from the pain of losing me.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Tokuma was carried up to the bedroom on the second floor and loved. Even after their intimate act ended, Ryoichiro did not let go of Tokuma. The Western bed was narrow. With two men lying there, they had to press tightly together like two halves of a shell, but Tokuma was pleased by the closeness, feeling the heat of his partner’s body against his back.

He dozed for a little while, and when he awoke, it was to the sensation of Ryoichiro’s hand gently stroking his cheek. The touch felt like rubbing against silk, and it was so pleasant that Tokuma almost felt as though he were drifting in a dream. The moonlight streamed in through the window, so bright that it seemed he might not need a light to walk outside.

Suddenly, his nose became itchy, and he sneezed softly. The hand that had been stroking his cheek stopped immediately.

“Did I wake you?”

“I was already awake a little while ago. Are you not able to sleep, Ryoichiro-san?”

“When I’m thinking about something, my mind won’t settle.”

Ryoichiro sighed softly near Tokuma’s ear.

“Is something troubling you?”

Ryoichiro fell silent for a moment before slowly speaking.

“Hara-kun suddenly told me he wants to quit university.”

“Hara-san?”

Hara was one of the students Ryoichiro was especially fond of. He was particularly serious and had a deep passion for botany. That was why Ryoichiro had always taken special care of him. “Why would he want to quit so suddenly? Is it because of family matters?”

There were many students who dropped out because their families had gone bankrupt or they could no longer afford to continue their studies. Academic pursuits were costly, after all.

“If it’s family matters, I could understand,” Ryoichiro continued. “But Hara-kun wants to marry his girlfriend. He feels it would look bad to stay in school while doing so, so he wants to quit and work. Apparently, she’s such a beautiful woman that he’s worried another man might steal her away if he waits too long.”

Tokuma shifted slightly to face Ryoichiro.

“Is Hara-san’s girlfriend really that beautiful?”

“She is,” Ryoichiro replied. “She’s a woman with a seductive charm that seems to drip from her. A man wouldn’t be able to ignore her. But I don’t like that flashy, vulgar type of woman. I understand Hara-kun’s feelings, but I think it would be a shame for him to throw away his studies. If he wants to get married, he should keep studying. But Hara-kun insists on quitting.”

Ryoichiro hugged Tokuma roughly.

“Just the other day, we went out on a field excursion from the classroom, but Hara-kun didn’t come. When I asked him why later, he said he was feeling sick, so I told him it couldn’t be helped, and he shouldn’t push himself. He had been losing weight recently. But then I heard from the assistant professor that Hara-kun had been loitering around a big department store all day. When I confronted him, he admitted that he had lied about being sick. He had been picking out clothes and accessories for the woman he’s dating.”

To throw away his studies just to pick gifts for a woman—it was indeed a ridiculous story. Tokuma couldn’t hide his surprise that the usually serious Hara had acted in such a frivolous manner.

“I can only think that woman is manipulating him. I’m not the type to meddle in matters of love, but if you don’t choose your partner carefully, you’ll regret it. When I saw him off after he had sent her home, I told Hara-kun, ‘Leave that woman.’ But he got furious, like a firestorm, and told me he never wanted to see my face again.”

While still holding Tokuma’s body tightly, Ryoichiro shook him back and forth like a child in distress.

"Ah, even now, thinking about it, it makes me angry."

Tokuma grabbed Ryoichiro's hand, which was wrapped around his waist, and gently pressed it against his own cheek.

"Hara-san must have been so drunk that he could barely stand."

"Well, yes..."

"Perhaps, when it comes to matters of alcohol, it would be better for the one in charge to forgive and forget, allowing it to pass."

"But..."

Ryoichiro's face showed that he didn't quite agree. That expression, unchanged since childhood, was endearing to Tokuma, and he softly stroked Ryoichiro’s longer hair.

"I haven't heard Hara-san's side of the story, nor have I seen his girlfriend, so I can't say much. But I think, with time, Hara-san will come to understand how deeply you care for him."

"There's no cure for love troubles," Ryoichiro muttered softly. His words made Tokuma's chest ache. It felt as though Ryoichiro was speaking directly to him. He wondered if Ryoichiro regretted their relationship in some way, somewhere in his heart.

"By the way," Ryoichiro suddenly murmured, "You’ve never asked me for anything, have you?"

It seemed he had just remembered.

"Is there anything you want?"

"I don’t really need anything."

"I may not have much money, but I could get you candy, or sweets, or anything you like."

The childishness of his words made Tokuma laugh involuntarily. When Ryoichiro looked at him, confused, Tokuma found it even more amusing, knowing that Ryoichiro didn’t realize how endearing he was.

"I don’t need any candy or sweets. …But, please, keep me by your side for a long time."

Ryoichiro’s arms tightened around him.

"Not just for a long time. You will always be by my side."

After giving him the words he wanted most, Ryoichiro buried his face in Tokuma's chest and said, "You're cute."

◇:-:◆:-:◇

The next day, while having breakfast, Ryoichiro suddenly said, "I want a bento."

He usually had lunch at a cafeteria or soba shop near the university with Hara, so asking for a bento likely meant he wasn’t planning to have lunch with him today. The longer a fight drags on, the more awkward it becomes afterward. It would be best to make up quickly, but it was still too soon, and Tokuma knew that a stubborn man like Ryoichiro wouldn’t give in easily. So, he made a simple bento with rice balls, boiled beans, and pickles, wrapped it in a furoshiki cloth, and handed it over.

After seeing Ryoichiro off, Tokuma tidied up the kitchen and prepared to cook more rice. Once that was done, he was about to go out to the well to do laundry when he was called by Chie, the widow who lived next door. From the moment he first saw her, Tokuma had thought Chie was elegant, but later she confided that she had once been a courtesan at the Yoshihara brothel. She had been taken in by an older man, but he had passed away suddenly two years ago from heart disease. With the money he left behind, she was able to live without working.

"Are you a manjo (a male concubine or lover)?"

It hadn’t been long since Tokuma moved here, and they hadn’t spoken much, so the abruptness of the question caught him off guard. Until then, they’d been chatting about the local vegetable seller, and her words turned Tokuma’s face pale with shock.

How could she have known? He had no idea. They said the thick brick walls couldn’t carry sound, but could she have overheard his gasping cries of passion when Ryoichiro took him? It was the only explanation that came to mind.

While not entirely unheard of, relationships like theirs were typically regarded as a form of indulgent entertainment for wealthy patrons, akin to playing with a geisha. Two men living together like husband and wife was almost unheard of.

If rumors spread about Tokuma being a male lover, they could tarnish Ryoichiro’s reputation, branding him as a nanshokuka (a man who engages in same-sex relations). Such rumors could cause trouble at the university and even disrupt his academic pursuits. The thought made Tokuma tremble.

Noticing his reaction, Chie laughed lightly. “No need to look so scared.”

She turned to glance at him, her tone suddenly softening.

“I’ve seen more men than I can count, so I know the look in his eyes when he looks at you—it’s a man’s gaze, through and through.”

She murmured this quietly, as if to herself, and then, just as casually, admitted to her past as a courtesan.

"At first, I thought you were just a servant like you said, but that professor, from morning to night, keeps saying 'Tokuma, Tokuma,' treating you just like a wife, huh?"

Chie, unable to bear children, had been taken in by her late husband fully aware of her condition. Perhaps because of this, she seemed particularly intrigued by Tokuma and Ryoichiro’s arrangement—more than just as neighbors. When Tokuma, his voice wavering, asked her to keep their relationship private, Chie in turn made him promise not to reveal her past as a courtesan to anyone.

"What's wrong, Chie-san?"

"Come here for a minute. My cat’s in trouble."

When Tokuma went next door, he saw a white kitten on a small ledge of bricks between the first and second floors of the longhouse. The kitten was crying sadly, unable to climb down. It was one of Chie’s cat’s kittens, which sometimes played in the flower bed in front of her house.

"I can't reach it from either the window or from below. The mother cat can’t get close either. What should I do?"

Tokuma borrowed a ladder from a nearby carpenter and carefully helped the kitten down. Chie, holding the kitten to her chest, teared up, saying, "Thank goodness, thank goodness."

“Oh, thank you, Tokuma-san. Thank you so much.” She paused, then brightened. “Wait right here a moment.”

Chie disappeared inside her house and returned with something wrapped in newspaper.

"Here, have this with the professor."

When Tokuma unwrapped it, he found some delicious-looking grapes.

"Is this really okay?"

"They’re leftovers from a gift I received. Don’t be shy."

Ryoichiro, who had grown up in the countryside and was used to being pampered by a wet nurse, had a refined taste and loved such fruit, but now, with no money to spare, Tokuma couldn’t afford to buy them for him. Receiving the grapes as a gift made him happy.

"These are really sweet. I suppose the professor likes sweet things, doesn't he?"

"You noticed?"

"I’ve seen him come back with mochi now and then. Always enough for two, of course."

Then, without warning, Chie reached out and lightly brushed Tokuma’s neck.

“And here I see this little red mark. Seems like things are lively between you two, aren’t they?”

Tokuma flushed crimson, which only made Chie laugh.

“You’re so innocent, Tokuma-san. It’s adorable. Almost makes me want to steal you away for myself.. But I guess it wouldn’t do if it’s not the professor, would it?"

After making such crude jokes, Chie looked up at the room where Tokuma and Ryoichiro lived.

"I wonder if it’s surprised by the idea of a couple of men living together. Since you two moved in, that place doesn’t have that eerie feeling anymore."

Before they moved in, that house had been infamous in the neighborhood as a haunted house. Apparently, the first residents, a foreign couple, had been torn apart when the husband took a Japanese mistress, and a bloody scene had unfolded inside the house. In the end, the foreign wife, heartbroken by her husband’s betrayal, had committed suicide by slashing her throat. It was said to be her ghost that haunted the house.

After Chie had teased him endlessly, Tokuma returned home. He immediately fetched water from the well and placed the grapes in the shade to cool. They should be somewhat cold by the time Ryoichiro returned.

As they talked, the sun had risen high in the sky. Determined to finally do the laundry, Tokuma passed through the hallway and casually glanced into the living room. There, on the table, he saw the bento left behind, untouched.
He pulled out his pocket watch. It was still before noon. If he had forgotten the bento, Ryoichiro would likely go out to eat with Hara. Tokuma wondered whether that might be better, but if the rift wasn’t healed, Ryoichiro would probably return home to retrieve the lunch.

Still unsure, Tokuma wrapped the furoshiki around the bento and left the house. The university wasn’t far, so it wouldn’t take long to walk there. The sun was intense, and Tokuma regretted not wearing a hat. Ryoichiro had bought him a Panama hat, but he had left it behind, thinking it wouldn’t be necessary for such a short walk.

As he passed by the shopfronts, steam like vapor rose from the splashed water. His back was damp with sweat, and beads of perspiration dotted his forehead. Unable to bear it, Tokuma stopped at an ice shop to drink cold water.
By the time he reached the university, it was almost noon. Many students were emerging from the building. Tokuma went against the current, entering the building and heading toward the botany classroom. Inside, there were piles of plant specimens stacked like mountains, and unfinished pressed plants filling the room, but neither Ryoichiro nor anyone else was there. He peeked into the assistant’s room, but it was empty too. Since he hadn’t passed anyone on his way here, it seemed Ryoichiro must have gone out to eat, realizing that he had forgotten his bento.

Disappointed not to have seen him, Tokuma walked down the hallway, and suddenly, a thin, gaunt man came walking toward him, looking like a skeleton. Tokuma was startled when he saw his face up close. It was Hara. He had become even thinner since Tokuma had seen him at the end of June, and his features had changed as well.

"Hara-san."

When Tokuma called out to him, Hara squinted his sunken eyes in suspicion. He looked at Tokuma with a somewhat skeptical expression.

"I brought a bento for Ryoichiro-san. Do you know where he is?"

Hara muttered, "Ah..."

"The professor just went out the back a little while ago. He probably went to a soba shop or something," Hara replied.

“If you walk a little past the back gate of the university, there’s an area with cheap restaurants, soba shops, and bakeries catering to students.”

"I see. Well, I brought him a bento, but I guess it’s not needed now."

Tokuma held out the bento to Hara.

"If you haven’t had lunch yet, please take this. It’s nothing special, though."

"Oh, no. That’s fine," Hara said firmly, but his stomach growled audibly. His thin face turned red with embarrassment.

"Then, let’s eat together and split it in half. I can’t eat that much either."

In the end, Hara nodded to Tokuma's suggestion. The two of them went outside and ate the bento under a tree near the greenhouse. Perhaps because he was quite hungry, Hara finished three of the four rice balls, as well as all the beans and pickles. Seeing his hearty appetite, Tokuma felt a sense of relief in his heart.

The flowerbeds surrounding the greenhouse were in full bloom with lilies. Daylilies, tiger lilies, and tall lilies were blooming large white and orange flowers.

"The lilies have such a lovely scent," Tokuma remarked, and Hara narrowed his eyes, furrowing his brow.

"I don’t particularly like lilies," he replied.

This flowerbed was one that Ryoichiro had tended to, and Hara often helped with it as well. It seemed to Tokuma that Hara harbored some sort of grudge, not just because Ryoichiro was particular about the plants, but because of something more personal between them.

"Then, Hara-san, what flowers do you like?"

After a moment of silence, Hara softly replied, "Maybe camellias." Then, he fell silent again.

"Hara-san, you’ve really become quite thin."

As if used to hearing this, Hara replied in a calm, detached tone, "Everyone says that." Between the scent of the lilies, a faint trace of powdery perfume mixed in the air. The lingering scent of a beautiful lover felt strangely sensuous to Tokuma.

"Are you feeling alright, physically?"

Hara straightened his back, then answered, "I’ve lost some weight, but I’m healthy. But no matter how much I eat, I just keep losing weight."

"You’re eating, but still losing weight?"

Hara fell silent, then looked at Tokuma.

"You and the professor are on good terms, so I’m sure you’ve heard about me and my lover," he said, his tone curious.

It was true, so Tokuma couldn’t deny it. He hesitated for a moment, then decided to honestly tell Hara what he had heard from Ryoichiro.

Hara frowned and puffed his cheeks in indignation. "That’s a misunderstanding," he snapped.

"I’m the one who’s been sending gifts without asking for anything in return. She’s done nothing wrong. She’s never once said she wanted this or that. I’m the one who eats and eats but keeps getting thinner, and I collapsed once because of it. She cried and was really worried about me. She’s such a kind woman."

The stories Tokuma heard from Hara were quite different from what Ryoichiro had told him.

"She’s gentle, kind, and beautiful. A woman far too good for someone like me."

"I see," Tokuma replied, nodding.

"Ryoichiro didn’t tell you to stop seeing her out of hatred for her. He just doesn’t want you to give up your studies. He’s quick-tempered and childish, and sometimes says things he shouldn’t, but please forgive him."

Hara fell silent, his head lowered. He ran his fingers through his hair, fidgeting in frustration.

"What is your lover’s name, Hara-san?"

At the question, Hara replied, "Yukie."

"That’s a lovely name. Where did you meet?"

Hara remained silent for a while before finally speaking again.

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