That Person: Chapter 11

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As the university entered its second term, students gradually shook off their summer lethargy, and within a week, most began regaining their rhythm. Matsushita’s days, too, became steadily busier.

In early October, Matsushita had an additional desk brought into his private office at the university, a workspace designated for professors. The extra desk, meant for miscellaneous tasks, was set up for Kadowaki’s use. It was no secret that Matsushita doted on his first-year graduate student, Kadowaki. Initially, this favoritism did not sit well with the other graduate students. However, once Matsushita officially employed Kadowaki as an assistant and his dedication and competence became widely recognized, the jealousy began to dissipate.

Now, Kadowaki sat at the adjacent desk, organizing reports submitted by second-year students. Before he arrived, Matsushita's desk was perpetually piled high with papers and books, resembling a battlefield. These days, everything was neatly categorized, filed, and stored in bookshelves.

When Matsushita let out a small yawn, Kadowaki immediately stood up and said, "I'll make us some tea," before disappearing into the staff kitchenette. During his brief absence, as if timed perfectly, Matsushita's cell phone rang—it was his sister calling.

They had spoken just ten days earlier when Matsushita informed her that he had declined the matchmaking arrangement she had orchestrated. Her anger was less about the rejection and more about Matsushita's failure to mention he was in a relationship.

"If you already have someone you like, why didn’t you tell me when I asked?!" she had scolded, venting her frustration. After her tirade subsided, she demanded, "What kind of person are you dating?" Unwilling to delve into the complexities, Matsushita had answered evasively, "It’s an unrequited love." His sister had sighed in exasperation and remarked, "At your age, that’s just embarrassing."

When Kadowaki returned with green tea, Matsushita informed him, "My sister is staying over tomorrow." Kadowaki’s eyes widened in surprise.

"That’s rather sudden."

"She’s attending a seminar here, but there was some mix-up on the administrative end, and the hotel she booked can no longer accommodate her. Since it’s the weekend, and all the nearby hotels are fully booked—probably because of the seminar—she figured it would be better to stay at my place. It’s closer and within walking distance of the venue."

Kadowaki looked down, deep in thought, his own tea untouched.

"In that case, I’ll stay at a hotel tomorrow," he said at last.

"Why would you do that?"

"Your sister won’t have a place to sleep. The two spare rooms are filled with books and don’t have proper air conditioning. If not my room, the only option left is the sofa."

"Then why don’t you sleep in my room?" Matsushita suggested.

Kadowaki’s face showed hesitation. In truth, he often slept in Matsushita’s bed, preferring it to his own. After their lovemaking, Matsushita would always insist he stay, reluctant to part ways for the night.

"You haven’t told your family that we’re living together, have you? Won’t it seem unnatural? If I head back now, I can tidy my room…"

"You’re my assistant," Matsushita said. "We could just say you’re staying as a housemate."

"That’s true, but…" Kadowaki trailed off, his expression showing he was still uncertain about Matsushita’s plan.

"It's going to be fine," Matsushita said.

Without further protest, Kadowaki simply nodded and replied, "Understood."

That day, Kadowaki went home ahead of Matsushita and began a thorough cleaning of the apartment. Matsushita offered to help but quickly realized that he didn’t even know where the vacuum cleaner was and was more of a hindrance than a help. Feeling he was only getting in the way, he retreated to his own room.

Since Kadowaki was busy, Matsushita decided to order delivery for the first time in a while. It was from a place he had frequented before Kadowaki moved in, and although he had once thought their food was quite good, his palate, accustomed to Kadowaki’s home cooking, now found it somewhat lacking.

Around midnight, when the cleaning seemed to be finished, Kadowaki came to Matsushita's room. His presence at such a late hour usually meant things would take a certain turn. Just seeing Kadowaki’s wet hair—evidence of a recent shower—set off a near reflexive response in Matsushita, like a dog conditioned to react. However, instead of coming close, Kadowaki stood at a slight distance, near the bookshelf.

"What time is your sister arriving tomorrow?" Kadowaki asked.

"She’ll arrive in Shin-Kobe around noon, take the train to Sannomiya, and I’ll pick her up at the station."

Kadowaki tilted his head slightly. "But don’t you have a class during the third period tomorrow?"

"I’ll bring her here and then head back to the university. I might be a little late, though."

"I could go pick her up," Kadowaki offered. "I don’t have a third-period class tomorrow."

The offer was considerate, and Matsushita was tempted to accept. "But is that alright? You’re busy with your studies."

Graduate students typically only had one or two classes a day, but their remaining time was packed with preparation, leaving little room for leisure. Despite also working a part-time job, Kadowaki was diligent in his studies.

"One day won’t make a difference. Besides, I’ve met your sister before, so I’d recognize her."

Kadowaki had indeed met Matsushita’s sister once during his undergraduate days, when he had unexpectedly run into her while visiting Matsushita, who was bedridden with a cold. Kadowaki had commented at the time, "She’s very beautiful." Remembering how that remark had unsettled him, Matsushita felt an unwelcome surge of emotion.

"Never mind, I’ll go pick her up. She’s my family, after all," Matsushita said curtly.

"But what about your class?"

"I can cancel the first period if necessary," Matsushita replied, brushing off Kadowaki’s concern. Kadowaki still seemed like he wanted to say something but was cut off when Matsushita turned away.

"Why are you upset?" Kadowaki asked softly, approaching from behind.

"I’m not upset," Matsushita said, though the sharpness in his tone betrayed him.

"Usually, you wouldn’t turn your back on me like this," Kadowaki said, reading Matsushita’s mood with an unsettling accuracy. The perceptiveness made Matsushita uneasy. Kadowaki didn’t press further, but his silence as he studied Matsushita’s conflicted expression only added to the tension.

Finally, Kadowaki knelt at Matsushita’s feet and gently took his hand. When Kadowaki’s lips closed over Matsushita’s thumb, warm and deliberate, Matsushita’s heart jolted. The teasing strokes of Kadowaki’s tongue on his thumb were restrained at first, but as Matsushita instinctively moved his finger more aggressively, Kadowaki frowned, his brows knitting slightly in discomfort. Matsushita pulled his hand away and kissed the gleaming, freshly licked lips. His tongue explored Kadowaki’s mouth, savoring the almost cloying sweetness.

Sliding a hand under Kadowaki’s sweatshirt, Matsushita found a sensitive spot on Kadowaki’s chest and pinched it hard. "That hurts," Kadowaki murmured faintly, but Matsushita ignored the protest, gripping more firmly. When Kadowaki’s back quivered and faint tears glistened at the edges of his eyes, Matsushita finally snapped out of it. He released him.

Kadowaki clung to Matsushita’s neck, biting his earlobe in retaliation—a sharp but playful pain, a tender form of rebellion.

"Don’t be so mean," Kadowaki snapped, perched on his lap, glaring at him with tearful eyes. And Matsushita felt himself unraveling. Such petty jealousy. He had sworn just recently to remain calm and composed, yet the smallest irritation had him flaring up. Frustrated, he raked his hand through his hair, messing it up thoroughly.

"Tomorrow, after all… please pick up my sister," Matsushita said, masking his impoverished heart with what seemed like the most reasonable choice. Kadowaki, lips pressed tightly together as though holding back tears, simply nodded in silence. The way he vacillated—angry one moment, pleading the next—was clearly leaving Kadowaki confused. Matsushita could see the disorientation as plainly as if it were written on his face.

He pulled Kadowaki into a fierce embrace. Ignoring the flicker of fear that crossed Kadowaki’s face, Matsushita crushed their mouths together in a ravenous kiss, caring only to satisfy his own starving heart.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

When Matsushita returned to his office after his third-period lecture, Kadowaki was nowhere to be seen. Worried that something had gone wrong meeting his sister at the station, he was about to reach out when his phone rang—it was him.

"We’re at the Kitano Ijinkan area now," Kadowaki said, catching Matsushita by surprise.

"She said it’s her first time in Kobe and she wants to explore a bit, so I’m showing her around."

"You have a lecture in the fourth period," Matsushita reminded him sharply.

"I’ll ask someone to share their notes for what I miss," came the casual reply, something Kadowaki rarely said given how serious he was about attending classes.

Matsushita cut in, saying, "Let me speak with Yoshiko," and the phone was handed over to his sister.

"Thanks for the charming guide," Yoshiko’s voice chirped cheerfully. "Kobe is hotter than I expected."

Her buoyant tone alone was enough to irritate Matsushita.

"I only asked him to pick you up. He has a class during the fourth period," Matsushita stated firmly.

His sister fell silent. On the other end of the line, muffled voices suggested they were discussing something, but Matsushita couldn’t make out the details.

"He says it’s fine to miss one class," she eventually replied, breezily dismissing the matter.

"Don’t drag him along for your whims," Matsushita snapped.

"Sensei," Kadowaki’s calm voice returned to the call.

"I don’t mind. It’d be cruel to leave her wandering alone after coming all this way. She doesn’t seem familiar with the area, so I’ll just show her around a bit."

"But…" Matsushita started, torn. His sister was clearly enjoying herself, and Kadowaki was willingly obliging. Calling him back to campus now wouldn’t change much; the lecture had already begun. Unable to find a reasonable way to insist, Matsushita finally relented with a heavy sigh. "Take care of her," he said reluctantly before ending the call.

Even after hanging up, his thoughts were consumed by the idea of Kadowaki spending time alone with his sister. Unable to bear it, he almost reached for his phone again, only to stop himself at the last second. The persistence of his own insecurities frustrated him deeply.

Slumping into his chair, Matsushita buried his head in his hands, battling the relentless surge of jealousy and irrational anger that churned within him. It was an exhausting struggle, but he endured it silently.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Matsushita arrived at the French restaurant Minuit, near Motomachi Station, a little after their agreed-upon time of 7 PM. As he entered, guided by a staff member, he spotted his sister in a simple indigo dress and Kadowaki, wearing the same black top and jeans as that morning, seated by the window. The two of them, facing each other, looked like an older woman and her younger boyfriend—a sight that unsettled him.

“It’s been nine months, hasn’t it, brother?” his sister greeted him.

At thirty-eight, Yoshiko maintained her beauty despite her hectic life. Though the faint crow’s feet around her eyes and the slight loss of skin elasticity couldn’t be helped, her eyes brimmed with energy. Busy with raising children, household chores, and her job, she still found time to paint her nails in a soft pink that now adorned her fingers, folded elegantly on the table.

“You only came back for two days during New Year’s,” she said. “Mother was very upset.”

“I had work then,” Matsushita replied, offering an excuse as he slid into the seat beside Kadowaki.

“Can’t you adjust your schedule to rest properly during the New Year? All you do is fiddle with numbers anyway,” she retorted.

Her dismissive tone about his field of mathematics instantly dampened his mood. Uninterested in the subject, Yoshiko had often dismissed it with her high school experience of calculus as a benchmark, calling it “useless” at every opportunity. Perhaps it stemmed from her work, which involved tangible results and direct interactions with patients.

“It’s more than just fiddling with numbers,” Kadowaki interjected gently. Yoshiko’s gaze shifted to him.

“The chaos theory Matsushita-sensei studies is a relatively new field in mathematics. It’s vast and profound, so it’s hard to sum up in a few words, but its applications include things like satellite orbit adjustments and pacemaker designs.”

As a doctor, the mention of pacemakers piqued Yoshiko’s interest. “Oh, really?” she responded, her curiosity evident.

“Research findings themselves might not be directly visible to the public, but they’re used in meaningful ways,” he explained.

Twisting a strand of her soft, wavy hair, Yoshiko mused aloud. “It might sound childish, but… is it really that amazing?”

“It is,” he affirmed with a small smile.

Her murmured “I see” was followed by a faint smile. Matsushita turned to the drink menu and ordered a glass of champagne as an aperitif. After the waiter left, Kadowaki addressed him.

“I didn’t want to order without consulting you, but the seasonal course is highly recommended by the chef. The main dish is grilled veal, and the appetizer is stuffed zucchini. None of the dishes include chicken. Would you like me to change anything?”

“That’s fine with me,” Matsushita replied.

“You don’t like chicken?” Yoshiko asked, tilting her head.

“It’s not that I can’t eat it, but I don’t particularly like it.”

“I didn’t know that,” she said, surprised.

Her ignorance wasn’t unexpected. At home, voicing complaints about food was forbidden. Leaving food uneaten was seen as a sin, so as a child, Matsushita had choked down his despised chicken without complaint. The bitter memories of those meals lingered even now.

“When you live together, you naturally learn each other’s preferences,” Yoshiko remarked with a pointed smile, causing Matsushita’s hand to tremble as he raised his water glass.

“You’re living with Kadowaki, aren’t you? I was surprised when he told me. You never mentioned having someone boarding in your apartment.”

It had been Matsushita’s idea to frame it as a boarding arrangement. But he hadn’t anticipated that Kadowaki might bring it up first. Though taken aback, Matsushita’s unease lasted only a moment.

“I insisted on staying with him, so I owe Matsushita-sensei a lot,” Kadowaki said calmly, diffusing the situation.

Yoshiko brought a well-manicured finger to her lips and chuckled. “It must be hard taking care of him. He’s such a lazy scatterbrain.”

“I’m the one indebted to him,” Kadowaki replied, stealing a quick glance at Matsushita.

The look—fleeting but loaded with quiet assurance—calmed Matsushita.

“I was an unusual case among graduate students,” Kadowaki began, wearing a serious expression that belied the lie he was about to tell. “I went back to school after working for a while, so I didn’t have much money. When I was struggling, Matsushita-sensei kindly offered, ‘Why don’t you board at my place?’ It was an incredible help at the time.”

Kadowaki’s composed deception was interrupted when Yoshiko suddenly exclaimed, “Oh!” in a short burst of realization.

“Now I remember—you’re the one who used to visit our house when my brother was a lecturer, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“You left quite an impression. I remember you saying math was interesting—just like my brother always says. I didn’t recognize you at first since you look so grown-up now.”

“Math really is fascinating,” he said with a smile.

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of appetizers. While Yoshiko, naturally outgoing, focused her questions on Kadowaki, the latter made a point of frequently drawing Matsushita into the discussion with comments like, “What do you think, sensei?” It kept Matsushita from succumbing entirely to the ridiculous pangs of alienation he felt.

Yoshiko seemed in an unusually good mood, laughing and chatting freely—a sight Matsushita hadn’t seen in years.

“Wasn’t there a cute café in the former foreign settlement area? Their scones and tea were delicious,” she remarked.

“Yes, I remember that place,” Kadowaki replied with a polite nod. The thought of the two of them leisurely having tea while Matsushita had been agonizing over his insecurities made something inside him bristle with irritation.

“Do you take dates to those kinds of stylish places, Kadowaki?” Yoshiko asked playfully.

He chuckled and shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

She sighed dramatically, shrugging her shoulders. “If all you do is study, you’ll end up like my brother—over forty and still alone. Love is the color of life. You’ve got to experience it while you’re young.”

Yoshiko’s advice felt contradictory coming from someone who had ultimately settled for an arranged marriage. How could she now be urging him to fall in love?

“I do have someone I like,” he admitted with a small smile. “It feels more like an unrequited love, though.”

Unrequited love? Matsushita froze. The words sent his thoughts spiraling. They weren’t supposed to be one-sided—weren’t they mutually in love? Did Kadowaki have feelings for someone else? And if so, what could he make of the significant glances Kadowaki had been sending him all evening?

Unable to focus, Matsushita went through the motions of the meal, chewing but not tasting, lost in a storm of doubt and insecurity. Neither Yoshiko nor Kadowaki seemed to notice his inner turmoil.

After the meal, Kadowaki excused himself and left the table. Matsushita, desperate to understand the meaning behind the “unrequited love” comment, hastily folded his napkin and made to follow him toward the restroom.

“He’s a good kid,” Yoshiko said suddenly, stopping him mid-motion.

“Yes, he is,” Matsushita replied, sitting back down reluctantly, though his eyes kept straying toward the direction Kadowaki had gone.

“He’s smart, attentive, and thoughtful. If he were a woman, he’d make the perfect partner for you. You’d get along well despite the age difference.”

Even though it was clearly a hypothetical statement, Matsushita gulped nervously, wondering if Yoshiko might suspect the truth.

“By the way, about my friend that I introduced you to…”

“I’m sorry about that,” Matsushita interrupted hastily.

Without waiting for permission, Yoshiko pulled out a cigarette and lit it, adding, “Mind if I have one?” Matsushita didn’t respond, knowing she would smoke regardless. He didn’t like the smell of cigarettes but chose to stay silent, unwilling to spark another argument.

The faint smell of tobacco filled the air, mingling with his unease as his thoughts wandered back to Kadowaki’s cryptic words.

"She really liked you, you know," Yoshiko said, exhaling a thin stream of smoke, her brow furrowed. "She was disappointed, and honestly, I feel bad for her. You gave her hope, after all. And you’re awful, too—you told me you didn’t have anyone you liked when I asked."

“…Even I have one or two things I want to cherish,” Matsushita replied quietly.

Yoshiko fell silent for a moment, her expression darkening as she stubbed her cigarette into the ashtray, barely smoked. "You’re not tangled up with some awful woman, are you? I worry about you. You seem too naive about these things."

"You don’t need to concern yourself with me," he shot back.

Her slim fingers pressed the cigarette into the ashtray with unnecessary force. "At the very least, I think the woman I introduced would’ve been better for you than whoever you’re with now."

Though Matsushita hadn’t said a word about having a lover, Yoshiko stated it as fact. Her sharp gaze pierced him.

"You can’t introduce her to the family because there’s something you’re ashamed of, isn’t there?"

The realization that she knew caused Matsushita’s back to stiffen. His mind flooded with questions. How does she know? When did she figure it out?

"You told the woman I introduced that you were meeting other women because I suggested it," she continued, her tone accusatory.

He couldn’t even summon the presence of mind to lie. His mouth hung half-open, silently echoing the accusation.

"She saw the hickey on your neck," Yoshiko said, her voice dripping with disdain. "She said it was obvious you had a lover. And honestly, I hate women who mark their territory like that. It’s so vulgar."

Matsushita’s thoughts jumped to that day—the moment Kadowaki had unbuttoned the top of his shirt. Whether it was a deliberate warning or sheer coincidence, Matsushita didn’t know, but recalling the subtle shyness on Kadowaki’s face made him lean toward the former. It had surprised him at the time, given how composed Kadowaki usually was. Yet it also filled him with an odd sense of delight.

Their frank conversation came to an abrupt halt as Kadowaki returned to the table. Blissfully unaware of being branded as "vulgar," he smiled politely at Yoshiko, his demeanor as gracious as ever.

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