That Person: Chapter 3

Previous TOC Next

The next day, Kadowaki went to see the burned remains of the apartment. Though it was possible to enter, his unit, located right next to the source of the fire, had been completely consumed. Not a single usable item remained; there weren’t even discernible traces of what had once been there.

From there, he set out to find a new place to live. By midday, he had secured a second-floor unit in an apartment on a backstreet near the university’s shopping district. His first priority was to replace his textbooks, so he stopped by the university in the afternoon, where news of the fire had already spread among his peers.

Mashiba, who had once experienced a similar incident when his family home was partially burned, was particularly sympathetic. Taking the initiative, he reached out to acquaintances and classmates, asking if anyone had unwanted household items they could spare. His efforts paid off, and Kadowaki’s new apartment quickly filled with a small mountain of items—everything from wedding gift cookware to promotional dishes and glasses. A girl from his seminar even gave him a pipe bed and a futon, saying they had belonged to her brother, who had since moved out. Kadowaki felt grateful to Mashiba for encouraging him to ask for help.

One afternoon, as Kadowaki walked down the hallway of the lecture building, Mashiba spotted him and ran over, looking excited.

“I’ve got a big one for you!”

“A big one?”

“A refrigerator! Matsushita-sensei is getting a new one, so he’s giving you his old one.”

Kadowaki was pleased at the thought of getting a fridge but hesitated at the mention of Matsushita. When he didn’t respond, Mashiba tilted his head.

“Is someone else offering you one?”

“No... it’s not that.”

“Then take it! You’ll be miserable in the summer without a fridge.”

Maybe it would be best to just accept it without overthinking. It wasn’t like Matsushita was offering a brand-new fridge, after all. A used one shouldn’t leave him feeling obligated.

“But even if I accept it, how would I get it to my apartment? I don’t have a car...”

Mashiba leaned in with a grin. “That’s the thing. Since your new place is in Isobe’s shopping district, and Matsushita-sensei lives nearby, he said he could deliver it in his car.”

“That’s too much trouble...”

It was at this moment Kadowaki realized something. He didn’t want to accept the fridge from Matsushita. Why? Was it because Matsushita had once been romantically interested in him? Was he uncomfortable with the idea that this gesture might still be influenced by those lingering feelings?

“Don’t worry about it,” Mashiba said casually. “It’s just what people do when someone’s in a tough spot. Besides, Matsushita said he was glad to have a way to get rid of the fridge—like it saved him the hassle.”

The next class was about to begin. Mashiba waved as he headed toward another classroom. “Catch you later!”

Kadowaki stood there, reflecting. He couldn’t shake his fixation on this trivial matter. The way he clung to such thoughts felt petty, and he was left uncomfortably aware of how narrow-minded he could be.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Matsushita’s riverside high-rise apartment was about a ten-minute walk from Kadowaki’s new apartment. The towering building was visible even from the road outside Kadowaki’s place, making it impossible to miss.

Leaving a little early to ensure he arrived on time, Kadowaki strolled leisurely along the riverside path. The slope leading to the riverbank was covered in soft, vibrant green grass. Like a child dawdling on the way home from school, Kadowaki paused frequently, taking in the surroundings. The wind along the river was strong but carried a faintly sweet scent. The sky was clear, the sun warm enough to feel almost summery. If not for the breeze, one might mistake the temperature for early summer.

The apartment building stood in a prime location, surrounded by neither houses nor factories, yet close to the station and the shopping district. For a mere math lecturer, the imposing building seemed excessively luxurious. Mathematicians are, by nature, not wealthy. Writing books might bring a decent income, but that privilege is limited to famous scholars. For lecturers or associate professors, their university salary is all they have. “Research costs money,” the professor used to say.

Lost in such trivial thoughts, Kadowaki soon found himself in front of the building. He entered the security code he had been given in advance and passed through the security door.

Standing before Matsushita’s door, Kadowaki took a deep breath to steady himself before pressing the intercom. There was no reply, but the door opened almost immediately.

“...Welcome. You’re early,” Matsushita said with a smile.

His shirt was wrinkled as if he had slept in it, and his jeans, worn at the knees, lacked any sense of style. His hair was oddly split above his ears, with an awkward bedhead sticking out. The shoes lined up in the entryway were all battered and worn.

“I saw you walking up from the window and rushed to prepare the fridge, but I didn’t finish in time. Come in and have a seat while you wait, if you don’t mind.”

Though Kadowaki had assumed this would be a simple task of collecting the fridge and leaving, it seemed that wasn’t going to be the case. Standing awkwardly in the doorway wasn’t an option either.

“Excuse me,” Kadowaki murmured, slipping off his shoes. The hallway was spacious, and the living room and kitchen were open and airy. Against one wall stood two refrigerators, one large and one small.

“It’s old, and I feel bad foisting garbage on you…” Matsushita began, but he wasn’t being humble—the fridge truly was ancient. Kadowaki, who had suspected Matsushita might be trying to create some sense of obligation, realized his assumptions were unfounded.

“I haven’t cleaned out the fridge yet. Please, have a seat on the sofa while you wait.”

“I can clean it myself after I bring it home,” Kadowaki offered. For some reason, Matsushita’s face turned red.

“Actually… I overslept during a nap and didn’t have time to transfer the contents to the other fridge. I’ll finish quickly, so could I trouble you to wait in the next room?”

It seemed Matsushita was more concerned with transferring the contents than cleaning. While Kadowaki could have helped, the thought of two men focusing entirely on a small fridge felt a bit ridiculous. “Understood,” he said and left Matsushita to his task, stepping into the adjoining room.

Kadowaki’s eyes widened. One wall was entirely lined with bookshelves, packed to the ceiling with books. Unlike the spacious and sparsely furnished living room, this room exuded a dense atmosphere, filled with objects.

The books and magazines all seemed to pertain to mathematical theory. Drawn in, Kadowaki wandered toward the shelves. Among the titles, he spotted books he had borrowed from the library but lost in the fire. He reached out to touch one but quickly drew his hand back.

From the kitchen, the sound of Matsushita shuffling around the fridge could be heard. Kadowaki called out toward his direction.

"May I take a look at your books?"

"My books? Go ahead, feel free to browse."

With permission granted, Kadowaki reached out to the dreamlike collection of books. Honestly, it was better stocked than the university library with titles he’d long wanted to get his hands on. It was almost uncanny, though, how every book seemed perfectly aligned with his interests. But of course, that made sense—Matsushita was a lecturer assisting the professor in Kadowaki's seminar, and their research interests overlapped. It was only natural for Matsushita to own books relevant to their field of study. Among the volumes were even those Kadowaki had recently ordered but had yet to receive.

He pulled one out and began skimming through it. Before long, he was entirely engrossed, losing track of time. Matsushita had finished cleaning out the refrigerator and entered the room, but Kadowaki remained oblivious, absorbed in the world of books.

What finally jolted Kadowaki back to reality was the sound of the curtain by the window flapping faintly. For a moment, he couldn’t place where he was and tilted his head, wondering why Matsushita was there.

Matsushita sat at the desk, one hand supporting his head while the other busily tapped at the keyboard, then abruptly stopped. His keystrokes were sharp and purposeful, reminiscent of a wild animal poised in the hunt.

Kadowaki hadn’t noticed earlier, distracted by the books, but Matsushita’s computer was one he had long coveted. It was from the Eight series by Esk Corporation—a model Kadowaki had desperately wanted the previous year but ultimately decided against due to its excessive cost.

"That computer… it’s from Esk's Eight series, isn’t it?"

Matsushita didn’t respond immediately. Kadowaki wondered if he had interrupted Matsushita’s work and felt uneasy. Then, like a delayed connection processing a signal, Matsushita slowly lifted his head.

"Yes, it is."

"It looks great."

"…Would you like to try it?"

The thought of being able to touch the revered Eight series sent a thrill through Kadowaki’s fingertips.

"Oh, but weren’t you working on something?"

"I was just fiddling around."

Matsushita stood and gestured for Kadowaki to take his seat. Hesitating at first, Kadowaki couldn’t resist the desire to try it. Matsushita’s model was the top-of-the-line Eight 01.

He typed in a few equations at random, marveling at how quickly graphs and diagrams appeared on the screen. The speed of the Eight series was as impressive as he had imagined. Immersed in the experience, Kadowaki thought again about how much he had wanted one, only to be brought back to reality by the fading sunlight filtering through the window.

He glanced at the clock and was startled to realize he had been playing on the computer for nearly an hour.

Matsushita sat on the sofa in the corner of the room, engrossed in a magazine. He seemed deeply focused, not even glancing in Kadowaki’s direction.

"Excuse me," Kadowaki said, his voice breaking the silence.

Matsushita lifted his head with a faint smile. "Yes?"

"I got so engrossed, and before I knew it, this much time had passed…"

"No need to apologize," Matsushita replied with a gentle grin. Kadowaki’s eyes drifted back to the bookshelves, unable to hide his admiration.

"You have so many books," he remarked.

"For us, reading books is practically our job," Matsushita replied with a slight shrug.

"But it’s impressive," Kadowaki added.

"There are many books here that I no longer need, but I’m the type who struggles to part with things, so the collection just keeps growing. If there’s anything you’d like, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’d be happy to lend it to you anytime."

Kadowaki’s eyes lingered on several books, his heart leaping at the thought of borrowing them. Yet, he swallowed the words before they could escape.

"I’m familiar with the themes of all the senior thesis topics from the seminar," Matsushita continued. "For your topic, these books, for instance, could be very useful. It’s written in a particularly clear style, with appropriate comparisons and well-defined theories."

It was as if Matsushita had read Kadowaki’s mind. One by one, books Kadowaki longed to read were being stacked in front of him.

"Actually," Kadowaki confessed, "I haven’t been able to start working on my thesis yet. All my materials and my computer were lost in the fire."

"Ah, yes," Matsushita murmured, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "That’s... unfortunate. But won’t you need these things soon? Even apart from your thesis, you have reports to submit."

"I’m planning to save up from my part-time job to buy a replacement. Until then, I’ll manage with the resources available at the university."

"If you don’t mind an older model, I have a laptop I used before upgrading. I’d be happy to give it to you."

The unexpected offer sent a ripple of emotion through Kadowaki. He hesitated but couldn’t deny how much he needed a computer.

"Since I started using the Eight series, I haven’t touched the older one. It’s slower in processing speed, and I’d been thinking of getting rid of it. But for writing reports and similar tasks, it should still work fine."

"Even if it’s used, I can’t accept something that valuable," Kadowaki protested.

"Then," Matsushita murmured, "how about I lend it to you? You can return it whenever you no longer need it."

Between the refrigerator and now the laptop, Kadowaki could feel the weight of favors piling up. He didn’t understand why Matsushita was being so generous and felt it was more than he deserved. Yet, he couldn’t deny the relief it would bring.

When Kadowaki had told his parents about the fire, their only concern had been for his safety. Without hesitation, they had covered the moving expenses. His mother had even offered to send more money for daily necessities, but Kadowaki had declined, unwilling to burden his family further.

Thanks to Mashiba’s outreach to their friends and acquaintances, Kadowaki had managed to gather many essentials, but there were still gaps to fill. Stretching every yen, he aimed to allocate funds wisely.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Kadowaki asked cautiously, his voice tinged with hesitation.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

People often have unconscious habits. For instance, Yoshimoto always chose a seat by the window in the cafeteria. If no window seats were available, he would pick one closest to the windows. Even when Kadowaki tried to lead them to a quieter, tucked-away spot, Yoshimoto would invariably point to the bustling window area and say, "I want to sit there."

Kadowaki had always wondered about Yoshimoto’s insistence on window seats. It seemed Yoshimoto enjoyed the view outside the cafeteria. There was a sandy pathway flanked by evenly spaced cherry trees. At the end of spring, petals floated down like snow, sometimes sticking to the cafeteria windows. Now that the blossoms had fallen, vibrant green leaves flourished, casting cool, pleasant shadows.

Yoshimoto, who had ordered udon, bit into his disposable chopsticks, pulling them apart with a quick snap. Kadowaki had never seen anyone break chopsticks that way before—it wasn’t exactly polite. Yet, for some reason, Yoshimoto managed not to appear vulgar doing it. Kadowaki knew only one other person who used chopsticks in such a peculiar way. He wondered if Yoshimoto had picked it up from him.

"How’s Mikasa doing?"

When Mikasa and Yoshimoto had first started dating, their frequent arguments had led to constant consultations with Kadowaki from both sides. But recently, things seemed to have settled down, and such calls had grown infrequent. Likewise, the opportunities for the three of them to drink together had dwindled. It seemed natural, as Mikasa or Yoshimoto were usually the ones to initiate those gatherings.

"He’s so lively it makes me want to kill him," Yoshimoto muttered with a sigh, delicately slurping his noodles.

"I haven’t heard from him lately. I was wondering how he’s been."

"Do you need something from him?" Yoshimoto tilted his head.

"It’s not urgent. I’ll talk to him if the opportunity arises."

Kadowaki bit into a piece of greasy fried chicken from his meal. Feeling Yoshimoto’s gaze, he looked up and met his eyes.

"What is it?"

Yoshimoto averted his eyes awkwardly. "Mikasa’s been practically living at my apartment since last month."

He didn’t sound thrilled about it.

"Every single day, he comes over like it’s his own place. I never said we should live together…"

Yoshimoto lightly bit the end of his chopsticks.

"Can you tell him, ‘Yoshimoto feels burdened by this’?"

"Have you talked to him about it?" Kadowaki asked.

"I’ve said it dozens of times. But all he says is, ‘I want to be near you,’ and he won’t listen. No matter how much I love him, I need some private time too. Every single day…"

Yoshimoto trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid. Kadowaki didn’t press him and took a sip of water instead.

"Alright," he said. "I’ll talk to Mikasa about it."

"Thanks," Yoshimoto replied, bowing slightly, his expression clouded. Yoshimoto didn’t dislike Mikasa—far from it. It was just that, no matter how much one loved someone, boundaries were still necessary.

Perhaps it was time to change the subject.

"By the way, how’s your thesis coming along? Have you started yet?"

Yoshimoto shrugged. "I’m still gathering materials. I’ll start soon."

"What’s your topic?"

"The application of game theory to oligopolistic markets."

Being in a different department, Kadowaki couldn’t fully grasp the theme, but he nodded as Yoshimoto pushed his nearly empty bowl to the edge of the table.

"You mentioned the fire destroyed your materials and books. Your laptop didn’t make it either, right?"

"Yeah," Kadowaki replied.

"You’ll need a laptop. Should I ask around in my seminar to see if anyone has an old one they don’t need?"

"No, that’s okay."

"Don’t hold back. It doesn’t hurt to ask, and who knows if anyone has one?"

"I already borrowed one."

"Oh, good. That’s a relief."

Matsushita’s face flashed in Kadowaki’s mind. Since taking the refrigerator and laptop from him, they hadn’t met or had any reason to cross paths.

"Are you really okay?" Yoshimoto asked, his tone serious.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You lost your apartment and all your belongings, didn't you? You've been through so much, yet you haven’t said a word to any of us. If there's anything troubling you, even if it's not material, don’t keep it to yourself—just talk to us."

Yoshimoto’s unusual persistence caught Kadowaki off guard. As he pondered the reason behind it, realization dawned.

"Did Mikasa tell you? About me being liked by a guy?"

Yoshimoto's expression spoke louder than words. After a pause, he nodded sheepishly, confirming Kadowaki's suspicion. Seeing this misunderstanding, Kadowaki let out a small laugh.

"It’s not as big a deal as it sounds. I realized he was going to confess, so I turned him down before he could. It’s not something I’ve been dwelling on."

What weighed on Kadowaki wasn’t the near-confession itself, but the awkwardness of continuing to interact with someone he had rejected, especially after receiving help from them.

"Talking with Mikasa made me realize something: I may have never actually been in love."

He admitted honestly.

"I’ve never felt the need to be with someone or thought having a partner was necessary. To be honest, I don’t think I even need a romantic relationship."

"Everyone has their own way of thinking," Yoshimoto replied. "Whether you have a partner or not doesn’t really matter. Though I’ll admit, I can’t picture you fooling around with a lover. But you should experience one big romance at least once."

"Would anything good come from falling in love?"

When Kadowaki asked this, Yoshimoto chuckled. "Why don’t you find out for yourself?"

Yoshimoto didn’t have classes after the second period, so after lunch, he went home. Kadowaki, however, had a seminar in the third period. He entered the classroom five minutes before it began and sat near the blackboard. Though seating was free, there was an unspoken rule to avoid clustering in the back.

He wondered if Matsushita would attend the seminar. He wanted to thank him. Lately, though, it had only been the professor teaching, and Matsushita hadn’t appeared to assist.

The refrigerator Matsushita had given him, though old, was still functioning well. The laptop, which Matsushita had dismissed as slow, was actually a higher-end model than the one Kadowaki had previously owned, with far better performance. It had been almost a month since he’d borrowed several books, and they had proven invaluable.

Matsushita had even gone out of his way to deliver the items to Kadowaki’s new apartment. However, shortly after, Mashiba had visited unexpectedly, causing a commotion, and Matsushita had left quietly before Kadowaki could properly thank him. This had been bothering Kadowaki ever since.

There was another reason Kadowaki wanted to see Matsushita: he needed help with a special symbol he couldn’t produce on the laptop. Matsushita had mentioned, "The manual is missing, but I’ll look for it and give it to you later," yet no follow-up had come. Kadowaki felt hesitant to ask directly, not wanting to seem like he was nagging. As the weeks passed, he began to wonder if Matsushita had forgotten altogether.

Kadowaki had tried searching online for instructions on how to produce the symbol but found nothing. The symbol was so obscure that even the manufacturer's website didn’t have downloadable manuals, likely because it was a foreign product.

The sound of the classroom door opening signaled the start of class. Kadowaki glanced up, hoping to see Matsushita. The professor, notorious for being late, hadn’t yet arrived.

After a month of absence, Matsushita had clearly lost weight. His already thin face now looked even more gaunt. As he stepped onto the podium, his eyes met Kadowaki’s, and he gave a slight nod in acknowledgment.

"It’s been about a month since I last saw all of you," Matsushita began.

It was unusual for him to give a preamble before diving straight into the lesson.

"My paper has been accepted for publication in a specialized mathematics journal in the United States. Preparing it took quite a bit of my time, which is why I haven’t been able to attend the seminar recently. However, I’ve finally sent off the finalized manuscript, so things have settled down. I imagine some of you may already be working on your thesis. If you have any issues or concerns, please don’t hesitate to consult me. Now then... let’s begin today’s class."

Kadowaki silently thanked his past self for not barging in to ask for the manual. That would have been an incredibly inappropriate time.

The student sitting next to him began their presentation, snapping Kadowaki back to the moment. He hastily opened his notebook, trying to focus on the discussion at hand.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

After class, Kadowaki planned to catch Matsushita, but the man approached him first.

"I completely forgot to bring the manual I promised. Seeing you reminded me—I'm terribly sorry," Matsushita said.

"It's fine, really," Kadowaki replied, though he had been longing for the manual. He didn’t want to make Matsushita, who had been so busy, feel worse.

"I’d say I’ll search for it and bring it right away, but I’m taking three days off starting tomorrow…" Matsushita explained.

"Next week is fine. I’m not in a hurry," Kadowaki assured him.

Matsushita, still looking apologetic, bowed slightly. "Thank you, and I’m sorry about this." Then he asked, "How’s your thesis coming along?"

There was a pause before Kadowaki answered.

"Is there something troubling you?" Matsushita pressed gently.

"...It feels like I’m straying from the main point," Kadowaki admitted honestly.

Matsushita tilted his head thoughtfully. "Do you have a draft or notes with you?"

"No, not with me."

"I see. If you could show me, I’d be able to offer more precise advice."

"I’ll bring it to the next seminar. Would you mind taking a look then?"

"Of course," Matsushita agreed with a nod. "That reminds me—recently, I came across a book by Poincaré on my shelves. If you’re exploring chaos theory, you might find his work insightful."

"I’ll look for it in the library."

"I can lend it to you."

"I still have the books I borrowed earlier…"

Matsushita laughed lightly. "Don’t worry about that. The books I lent you aren’t ones I’m actively using anymore. I wouldn’t mind if you kept them."

"It doesn’t feel right, considering I’m not the only one writing a thesis. I don’t want to be treated differently just because…"

Kadowaki hesitated, his thoughts brushing against his lingering unease—that Matsushita’s prior feelings for him might lead to favoritism. After all, he had already borrowed a computer and books.

"You’re quite conscientious, aren’t you?" Matsushita remarked with a small smile. "But I assure you, I’m not giving you special treatment. Over the years, I’ve lent or given books to plenty of students. Some never even returned what I lent them. Right now, only a few students, including you, are actively working on their theses. By October, my shelves will become a battleground. Starting early just gives you an advantage."

Kadowaki felt embarrassed for assuming otherwise—for believing Matsushita’s gestures were rooted in lingering affection. Clearly, Matsushita wasn’t dwelling on his past feelings as much as Kadowaki had thought.

"Will you be home tonight?" Kadowaki asked.

"Yes," Matsushita replied with a nod.

"If it’s not an inconvenience, could I come by to pick up the manual and the book?"

Matsushita smiled warmly at the suggestion. "Of course, anytime."

Previous TOC Next