About Love: Chapter 11

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The weather was perfect—clear skies, neither too hot nor too cold. An ideal day for a wedding.

About forty minutes before the ceremony, guests began to gather. Asaka, busy attending to the influx of people, couldn’t help but scan the crowd. And then, about twenty minutes later, Sasagawa finally arrived with his wife.

Since they were still legally married, it was only natural for them to attend together. But the sight of them walking side by side, looking so unremarkably normal, stirred an inexplicable irritation in Asaka.

Haruka, Sasagawa’s wife, was as delicate and beautiful as ever, her lavender-colored suit complementing her elegance perfectly. Sasagawa, too, dressed sharply in an ice-gray suit, looked nothing like his usual self—refined, even. But up close, Asaka noticed something startling: Sasagawa had lost a considerable amount of weight. His cheeks were hollow, and his complexion looked pale.

“It’s been a while, Sasagawa-sama,” Asaka greeted, masking his surprise with a polite smile.

“It has,” Haruka responded warmly, flashing a graceful smile. “Thank you again for the flowers you sent for our anniversary last year.”

Prompted by his wife, Sasagawa—who had been standing stiffly like a scarecrow—awkwardly nodded in Asaka’s direction.

That was the only moment Asaka interacted with the couple during the ceremony. The moment the church service concluded, he was immediately swept up in coordinating the family photos, organizing the guests’ transition to the reception venue, and ensuring everything was set up properly. There was no time to spare thinking about Sasagawa.

It wasn’t until after the bride’s second outfit change and the candle service that Asaka finally had a brief moment to breathe. Standing near the door, he checked the schedule one last time. All that remained was the bride’s speech of gratitude to her parents and the presentation of the bouquet. No incidents so far—the event had gone smoothly. Asaka exhaled in relief.

He let his gaze sweep across the reception hall, and it wasn’t long before his eyes found Sasagawa.

Because Sasagawa was already staring at him. Even as the groom gave his speech, Sasagawa was watching only him.

The sheer obviousness of it made Asaka’s stomach churn. If he was going to look at him like that, why hadn’t he called?

Sasagawa had said he’d reach out, so Asaka had waited. Yet, the call never came. Anger surged within him. His expression twisted, but this was a wedding reception—he couldn’t afford to scowl. Mustering all his will, he forced a smile onto his face.

Once the reception ended, Asaka was consumed with cleanup. By the time he had loaded all the equipment into the company car and was ready to leave, the restaurant was completely empty—the last guests had long since departed.

It was late. Asaka had dismissed the female staff on-site, leaving only himself to drive the company’s equipment back to the office. After unloading the supplies and tidying up, he switched off the lights and handed the keys to the building’s manager.

By the time he stepped out of the office, the day was nearly over. The last train was in about thirty minutes.

It took less than five minutes to walk to the subway from the office, but instead of heading straight there, Asaka sat down on the stone ledge of a planter in front of the building. He pulled out his phone and checked the time again.

At this hour, Sasagawa was probably already asleep. Hesitating, he put the phone away. But he knew—if he let this moment pass, he might never make the call.

Steeling himself, he took out his phone again and quickly dialed before he could second-guess himself. The moment the ringing began, another phone rang nearby.

Startled, Asaka turned toward the sound.

Not far from where he sat, in front of the adjacent building, a tall man was fumbling with his phone.

“…Hello, this is Sasagawa.”

Bathed in the glow of a streetlamp, Sasagawa looked utterly lost as he answered the call. Without a word, Asaka hung up and stood. Retracing his steps, he walked toward Sasagawa.

“You didn’t go to Kitamura-sama’s afterparty?”

Sasagawa lowered his gaze. Asaka could hear the coldness in his own voice.

"I went," Sasagawa said. "But most of the guests were his colleagues from work, and Haruka wanted to leave early, so we left ahead of time. Her partner came to pick her up, so we parted ways in front of the station…"

Asaka had wanted to see Sasagawa. That much was certain. And yet, now that he was standing in front of him, all he felt was frustration.

"I'm sorry for following you like some kind of stalker," Sasagawa continued. "I wanted to call out to you, but… I couldn’t."

When Sasagawa finally lifted his head, his face was deathly pale, as if he might collapse at any moment.

"I've… I've been thinking all this time that I needed to apologize to you, Asaka-san. But I didn’t have the courage to face you. I can’t stop regretting it—if I hadn’t done what I did, maybe we could have stayed friends. Even now, I can’t help but despise my past self for it. But it’s too late to take it back, and I don’t want to keep lying to myself and suffering over my own feelings anymore. I know that saying all this now will only be a burden to you, Asaka-san, but…"

Sasagawa pressed a hand to his forehead and suddenly swayed.

Fearing he might collapse, Asaka instinctively stepped forward, but Sasagawa somehow managed to steady himself on his own.

"At first, I just thought you were someone fun to be around. But then… I started wanting you to notice me. I wanted to be with you. Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I couldn’t stop myself."

He brought a trembling hand to his mouth.

"I won’t ever be a burden to you again. So… even if you think I’m disgusting, please don’t say it out loud."

The moment the words left his lips, Sasagawa abruptly turned on his heel and bolted. His figure grew smaller and smaller as he ran.

"Hey—Sasagawa-san!"

Asaka took off after him at full speed, managing to catch his arm and pull him to a stop. Sasagawa turned back, his face drained of all color, then clutched his head and crouched down.

"Don’t say anything," he pleaded. "Please… just let me go."

"Let you go? What are you—"

"I’m not ready to hear you reject me!"

He clamped his hands over his ears like a child throwing a tantrum. It would have been almost comical if he weren’t so painfully serious.

Asaka grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the planter in front of the building, forcing him to sit down. Then, he sat beside him, leaving just a bit of space between them.

"Have you been eating properly?" Asaka asked, staring straight ahead.

"Not much… I don’t really have an appetite."

Sasagawa buried his face in his hands.

"Have you just been drinking instead?"

Sasagawa turned to him with an expression close to despair.

"How… how did you know?"

Every time something troubled him, he drowned himself in alcohol. How could he not realize it himself?

"I—I even went to a psychiatrist a few times," Sasagawa admitted, his voice shaking. "But it didn’t really help. No matter what I do, it’s unbearable. I can’t sleep…"

He couldn’t sleep because of him. Asaka was sure of it.

Drinking himself sick, wasting away, suffering in silence. Watching him like this, Asaka felt a surge of overwhelming affection. If they weren’t sitting in the middle of the street, he would have pulled him into his arms.

Then, it hit him—there was no more hesitation.

He liked Sasagawa.

Not in a vague, uncertain way. He wanted him.

He wanted to comfort this fragile man with everything he had.

Sasagawa hesitantly reached out his right hand.

"Could you… give me your hand?" he asked in a trembling voice.

Asaka took Sasagawa’s wrist and pressed it against his own cheek.

"Aren’t you going to ask me how I feel?"

Sasagawa’s eyes widened before he squeezed them shut again.

"I don’t want to hear it," he murmured.

"Why not?"

"Because if I hope, and then I’m let down… I don’t think I can handle it."

"What if I told you that you’d regret not hearing it?"

Sasagawa dropped his head, his shoulders shaking, and began to sob.

"Why are you crying?"

"Why are you being so cruel to me, Asaka-san?" he choked out.

Asaka hadn’t meant to tease him. Sasagawa was the one who refused to listen. But watching him fall apart like this, he decided not to torment him any further.

He took a deep breath—then opened his mouth to tell Sasagawa exactly how he felt.

"I’ve been thinking about you too, Sasagawa-san."

The man, his head still hung low, didn’t react at first.

"That’s a lie."

"There’s no point in lying, is there?"

After a short pause, Sasagawa seemed to come to terms with Asaka’s words and muttered, "I suppose that’s true."

His face, which had been pale as a ghost just moments ago, suddenly turned bright red, as if the earlier color had been a lie.

"What should I do… I’m so happy."

The sheer absurdity of it made Asaka smile just a little. Sasagawa, too, laughed through his tears.

As they sat there, laughing together in the planter, a middle-aged salaryman passing by turned his head, clearly puzzled by the scene. Maybe he thought they were just a couple of drunks because he called out, "Get home soon," before quickly walking off.

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