Rose Garden: Chapter 14
Kyle sat down on the stone steps by
the front door and hugged his knees. What should he say when the demon came
back? First, he needed to apologize for lying but the thought made his chest
twist with discomfort.
He waited. And waited. And waited
until weariness settled into his bones. By the time the demon finally returned,
it was early the next morning. He stopped at a slight distance from Kyle and
stared at him. His expression looked deeply, utterly tired.
"Why do you keep showing
yourself to me? You even took the flowers. You’ve got no reason to come here
anymore."
Avoiding the question he didn’t want
to answer, Kyle asked only what he wanted to know.
"Why do you have only one wing
on your back?"
After a long silence, the demon
slowly opened his mouth.
"I burned it."
"You burned it?"
Kyle echoed.
"It was cold, so I burned it in
the fireplace."
"If you don’t have wings, you
can’t fly. Why would you do something so foolish?"
Kyle could tell the demon was
smiling.
"Because I’m a demon. I suppose
that makes me foolish by nature. Kyle, answer my question now. Why do you keep
appearing in front of me?"
Faced with a question he couldn’t
dodge, Kyle quickly looked away.
"Am I… going to die soon?"
Warren shrugged at the completely
off-target assumption.
"A demon doesn’t die after just
a few hundred years."
Warren stared at him with only his
right eye, not even blinking.
"Then why stay here on earth?
Why not go back to heaven where the one you love is?"
Kyle bit his lip hard and drew his
knees to his chest. He was about to confess he came back because he was in
love, because he wanted to stay by his side. But saying that meant he’d also
have to come clean about all the lies he’d told.
"I... I got bored."
His voice trembled.
"Bored?"
"I got tired of life in heaven,
so I came back."
At once, the demon burst out
laughing, like he’d gone mad.
"You must’ve been really bored
to come crawling back to the one you ran from so desperately you had to lie to
escape."
"T-That’s not the only reason!
Y-You’re a demon, so someone has to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t
do anything bad "
Kyle stumbled to cover himself with
more lies, frantic and flustered, while Warren’s face remained utterly still,
like a windless lake.
"I no longer have the power I
used to. Ever since I lost a wing, I haven’t been able to fly."
"But, uh... that is..."
The words caught in his throat,
leaving him stammering like a fool.
"I’m just a harmless creature
now. I know my place. I hardly go near where humans live anymore. I’ll stay
here in this house and live quietly until the day I turn to ash."
Warren pressed his right hand to his
forehead.
"I’ve finally gotten used to
being alone. If this is the punishment for being a demon, then I accept it. But
when you appear, it stirs up my heart. Maybe it’s just a way to kill time for
you, but to me, it’s like swallowing a thousand needles. I know I’m in no
position to ask anything of you after everything I did, but if even a sliver of
pity remains in you for me, then please don’t ever appear in front of me
again."
"That would be a problem for
me."
Kyle stood up and protested.
"It would just mean one less
place to waste time. How is that a problem?"
"It’s not that. I..."
The white rose’s words of
encouragement flashed through his chest Just say it honestly: you want to be
by his side.
"...I love you."
He blurted it out gruffly. Even
though it was the truth, being cornered into saying it made Kyle instantly sour
and irritable.
He’d finally said the words Warren
had likely longed to hear, but the demon didn’t react, not with surprise, not
with tears, not by rushing over to embrace him, not even with a kiss. He simply
stared at him in confusion, then ruffled his black hair.
"Don’t mess around like
that."
Brushing off his desperate
confession as some kind of joke ignited a furious anger in Kyle.
"I said I love
you!"
Warren shook his head.
"I can’t believe you."
Warren approached as he spoke,
brushing past Kyle and placing his hand on the shattered door.
"I can’t trust you, Kyle."
Kyle trembled, lips pressed tightly
together. I told him I loved him. But he had only replied that he
couldn’t trust him. I abandoned life in the heavens and came all this way,
said I loved him and still, he won’t accept me. Why?
With his back still turned to Kyle,
Warren spoke again.
"The red-haired girl who often
comes to the house, she’s Snair’s granddaughter. Her name is Eugene."
Snair… The name stirred nostalgia, conjuring a memory
of an innocent, beaming smile. Warren turned to face him.
"She’s always there when I’m
feeling lonely. She’s kind. I love Eugene… I’m thinking of marrying her."
His mind went blank. The world
before his eyes lost all color. Desperate to steady his thoughts, Kyle clenched
his fingers into fists again and again. The moment clarity began to return, a
scorching rage erupted from deep within him.
"That’s a sin. You’re a demon.
To lust after a human girl how could you…"
"It may be a sin. But Eugene
accepted me."
"You will surely be struck down
by divine punishment."
Kyle pointed at the demon and
declared:
"Then let it strike me. I’ll
accept it gladly."
There were words he used to hear,
whispered again and again beside his ear when they lived together in this
house. I love you, I love you, over and over. I exist to protect you,
he had said so many times.
"You lied to me!"
Kyle lunged forward, grabbing a
fistful of the demon’s shabby clothing.
"You said you loved me. That
was all a lie!"
"I did love you. But hearts
change. Nothing is eternal."
The words pierced straight through
his chest.
"Don’t say it’s because you
were bored. Just go back to the heavens, Kyle. That’s where you belong."
Warren stepped into the house, and
Kyle crumpled to the ground on the spot. He had fallen for love, but that love
was gone. He had said I love you so many times, again and again and now
all of it had vanished.
No… he couldn’t pretend it
had never existed. He still remembered those gentle eyes, the lips that spoke
of love, the strength of the arms that held him.
Was I too late? But it was only now that he
realized it, only now could he understand just how deeply he’d been loved. Back
when he tried to run away, he couldn’t even bring himself to consider what the
demon felt. He hadn’t been able to face that love.
I love you! He screamed soundlessly at the door
that remained closed. I love you, I love you, I love you it’s all I have and
even that love has been taken by a human girl.
Tears streamed down his cheeks. Sad,
sad, sad. Bitter, bitter, bitter. No matter how sad, no matter how bitter
it felt, the demon’s heart would never return to him. A failed demon like that
would torment an angel like him forever.
I want to disappear. He didn’t want to carry this
miserable agony any longer. He couldn’t return to the heavens, and the demon
had rejected him. There was nowhere left for an angel like him to go. Then I
might as well vanish. Let a monster devour me, let me just disappear.
He spread his white wings wide and
soared into the sky. The force of his flight yanked out feathers, sending them
fluttering down like snow. He flew straight toward the forest of Oliva and cast
himself down into the monster’s domain.
Inside the forest, the trees grew in
thick, oppressive clusters. The overgrown branches and leaves blocked out the
sunlight. The air was heavy and stagnant, and somewhere, perhaps everywhere reeked
of rot. It wasn’t just one spot. The entire forest seemed shrouded in that
stench.
Kyle endured the stench and lay down
at the foot of a huge tree, on the thick undergrowth. Before long some monster
would devour this body, leaving neither bone nor soul, erasing every bitter,
aching thought.
A heavenly being who had chosen a
demon would surely be cast into hell whether he
allowed himself to be eaten or not, the ending would be the same. He closed his
eyes and waited for the final moment when a monster’s jaws would close around him.
It didn’t take long. A reek so foul
it seemed his nose might rot off drifted closer. Even pinching his nostrils
shut could not keep it out. Grass crackled under heavy steps something was
approaching. What kind of monster stinks like this…? He opened his eyes and
shrieked.
Leaning over him was a creature like
an ape twice a man’s size; from its cavernous mouth hung a long purple tongue.
“An angel an angel! How many years
since I last had such a feast?”
As it spoke, brown vapors rose from
its maw, making the stench even worse and burning Kyle’s eyes. He had expected
monsters to be foul and ugly and had steeled himself for death, but he could
not bear to be eaten by this thing. He sprang up, covering mouth and
nose with a sleeve, and tried to launch himself sky‑ward only for the monster
to seize his wing and yank him back.
“White white wings. They must taste
splendid.”
Kyle thrashed, beating his wings
wildly, but the brute twisted one and bit down. Agony ripped through him; he
screamed. Wrenching free, he kicked off the ground and shot upward. Leaves
snapped around him as he burst through the canopy into open air. Something had
been torn; every beat sent a throbbing pain through the mangled wing, and he
lurched drunkenly left and right. But he was still above the Oliva Forest: if
he fell now he would surely become fodder.
Gritting his teeth, he forced the
wings to keep moving. Then another nightmare came darting in its face a cat’s,
its body avian. One at first; then more, until a dozen circled him. Their
stench was just as vile. Sensing his injury, they swooped, snapping at wings
and limbs.
“Stop stop it! Get away!”
On any other day he could have
scattered such pests with a simple spell, but the torn wing had sapped his
power. Each incantation only drove them back a pace; they swooped in again at
once.
Fall, fall, they chorused, until at last the
edge of the forest slid beneath him. The sky cleared and the creatures vanished
as suddenly as they had appeared. Nearby lay the little wood with the elm where
he had spent the night and made his rose‑garden; by day he might fend off
monsters, but when night strengthened their power they would drag him back into
Oliva. Wounded and depleted, he would be easy prey.
Farther… I need to get farther while
there is light.
Yet his strength spilled away like
air from a punctured balloon. He flew lower, lower then the wings simply ceased
to move, and he tumbled into a rolling green meadow.
Panting, he lay there. Wings that
should have felt weightless dragged at his back like lead. He folded them away,
invisibility required only a minor spell, yet even that left his body heavy as
stone. After lying in the grass a long while, he pushed himself up.
I’ll go to the demon’s house, Kyle resolved. Look at me wounded
like this, helpless enough that monsters might eat me if I’m left outside.
He’ll pity me… he’ll take me in.
On the western side of the meadow, a
narrow path stretched in a single line. At its eastern end, a large town came
into view. Kyle had been so blindly focused on escaping the monsters that he no
longer knew where he was heading. He was too exhausted to fly, and without the
sky beneath his wings, he couldn’t even tell direction. But if he reached the
town, someone might tell him where the demon’s village lay.
He dragged his heavy body forward,
swaying with each step. What should have taken minutes by flight took him ages
on foot. When he finally reached the town gates, the light around his feet
darkened. The once-blue sky drew a curtain of gray clouds overhead, and
raindrops began to fall, one by one.
In an instant, the gentle patter
turned to a furious downpour that pelted the earth. People rushed past him in
haste. He tried to call out “Um, excuse me…” but no one stopped. Everyone was
desperate to reach shelter, too busy to spare even a moment.
Just a few seconds, that’s all I
need, Kyle thought
bitterly. How heartless these humans are. Shivering, soaked, and
miserable, he wandered into the town. He was cold. He was hungry. And it only
made things worse knowing he wouldn’t have felt either if his wings hadn’t been
injured. It made his anger burn hotter.
The dirt road gave way to stone
paving. He passed through a narrow street lined with shops and suddenly the
view opened: a large fountain stood in the center, surrounded by a plaza. This
was likely the heart of the town but not a soul remained, chased away by the
storm.
A little to the right stood a
church. Church folk were kind surely someone there would give him directions,
maybe even let him rest. He knocked on the doors, but there was no sign of life
inside.
The entrance had no awning to
shelter under. Kyle stood there helplessly, searching the plaza for any place
to keep dry. Then he spotted it, a general store across the fountain, with a
wide roof that jutted far forward. He staggered over and sank beneath its
eaves. The rain no longer touched him, but his wet clothes clung cold to his
skin. Curling into himself, he hugged his shoulders, shivering violently.
Then the door creaked open. A stout
middle-aged man stepped out of the shop. Perfect, Kyle stood to ask for
directions. But before he could speak, the man swept his eyes over him, head to
toe, with a look of distaste.
“I don’t know which brothel you ran
away from, but get lost. I run a decent business here. You’re bad for
appearances.”
Kyle couldn’t hide the shock. Never
in his life had he been so insulted. He, an angel, a sacred carrier of souls, a
child of God mistaken for a prostitute selling their body for coin?
“H-How dare you…!”
He shook with fury now, not from the
cold. The man blinked, startled.
“Thought you were a girl with that
pretty face. But you’re a man? A man dressed like that? You nuts or
something? Huh, now that I think of it, someone once said male whores are a
thing too. That it?”
Kyle marched straight up to him and
slapped his face hard.
“You’ve gone too far! Do you have
any idea who I am? I am…!”
But he didn’t finish the sentence.
The man grabbed the front of his robes and hauled him up, then struck him
across the face right, left, right, left again and again. At last he hurled
Kyle to the rain-slick cobblestones and delivered a savage kick to his back.
“You damned freak. Get lost if you
don’t want real pain!”
Kyle lay there, stunned. He couldn’t
believe what had just happened. A human had raised a hand to him. A human
had dared to strike and kick an angel.
He lifted his head and glared up at
the man.
“…You’d do well to remember this.
Your soul will never reach Heaven after death.”
The man turned on his heel and went
back into the store.
“…For the sin of mocking me… you
will fall into Hell…”
Only the falling rain bore witness
to his final words. How strange… When an angel reveals themselves, they are
normally revered, even brought to tears by the devout and yet, he had been
treated with nothing but cruelty. His face, his form, none of it had changed.
Was it really just the absence of wings, the mere fact that he had not
descended from the sky, that made people treat him so differently?
What would that man do if Kyle were
to unfurl his angelic wings right now? Would he burst from his shop, fall to
his knees and repent his actions? Would he cling to Kyle’s feet, begging not to
be sent to Hell? Kyle crouched down, trembling with helpless frustration. If he
broke the concealment spell, he could show his wings but he would need to
expend even more power to hide them again afterward. And although he had
traveled far from Oliva Forest, he was still injured. His strength remained
incomplete. There was no guarantee the monsters wouldn’t come at night. He had
to conserve what little energy he had left.
Slowly, he rose to his feet and
trudged through the rain around the fountain, still soaked to the bone. He
spotted two more buildings with deep awnings, one a butcher, the other a
bakery. The memory of the shopkeeper’s brutal dismissal replayed in his mind. “You’re
bad for appearances.” The thought of enduring such abuse again made him
shrink back. He couldn’t bring himself to seek shelter there.
As the rain intensified, Kyle
wandered aimlessly through the town in search of a place, any place where he
might stay dry. Leaving the main street behind, he slipped into a narrow alley
paved only with packed earth. Puddles littered the path, and though he tried to
avoid them, the hem of his robe grew stained with muddy brown.
In the backstreets, few houses had
awnings at all, and most opened only onto side doors. What if I end up
wandering like this forever…? The hopelessness weighed on him like lead as
he continued forward, until finally almost miraculously he found a building
with a wide awning over its back entrance.
It was a broad, two-story structure
with evenly spaced windows likely an inn. Beside the back door sat a large bin
used to store garbage.
A faint stench of decay drifted from
it, but compared to the stench of monsters, it was almost charming. The moment
Kyle sat beside it, a sharp “Meow!” pierced the air. He leapt up in alarm. A
stray cat darted out from behind the bin, shot him a piercing glare, then
turned its face away and vanished into a gap in the alley wall.
Scared by a cat… The thought made
him laugh weakly at himself. Hugging his knees, he sank down onto the stone
step and let out a long sigh. All he wanted was to escape the cold, to rest his
body for just a little while and yet even that meager wish seemed out of reach.
He couldn’t help but feel pity for the wretched state he was in.
His wings would take weeks to heal.
He still had the strength to keep them hidden, so it was unlikely any monsters
would ambush him while he slept but better to avoid them altogether. This, all
of this, was the demon’s fault. Kyle clenched his aching jaw. Because the demon
had said he’d fallen in love with a human and thrown Kyle into despair, he’d
tried to take his own life. And that reckless act had led to being attacked, to
his wings being wounded and to this miserable ruin.
His cheek throbbed where he’d been
hit. His back hurt. His feet ached from walking too much. He was cold. He was
tired. The demon should take responsibility for what had happened to him. He
should apologize. And yet, no matter how much Kyle blamed him in his heart, no
apology would come. No one would come to get him.
As Kyle gazed blankly out at the
endless rain, he heard voices from inside the building. Someone was near the
back entrance. If they spotted him huddled beneath the awning, they might throw
him out into the street again but he couldn’t bring himself to go back into the
rain. He couldn’t walk another step.
Suddenly, something slammed into his
back. He pitched forward and collapsed onto the rain-soaked ground of the
alley.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!”
A young woman with light brown hair
and gray eyes stood in the doorway. She had pushed the door open and it had
struck him squarely in the back.
Their eyes met. The woman pressed
both hands over her mouth, a startled look on her face. But as she studied Kyle
more closely, her expression softened.
She shifted her weight, the hem of
her grass-green dress swaying lightly around her legs.
“I didn’t expect anyone to be
sitting out here like this.”
She extended her slender right hand
toward him. Kyle hesitated, unsure what it meant. Hands had struck him before just
recently, in fact.
“Can’t you stand? Or do you not
understand what I’m saying?”
She stepped into the rain. Her light
brown hair and green dress were quickly soaked, rain hammering down with a
roar. Gently, she took Kyle’s hand and pulled him to his feet, guiding him back
under the sheltering eaves with her cold fingers.
“Terrible rain today, isn’t it? With
weather like this, I doubt we’ll get a single guest. My dress is ruined now, completely
ruined.”
Despite her complaint, she let out a
light laugh fufu as though finding the whole thing amusing, and peered
at Kyle with curious gray eyes.
“You have such beautiful green eyes.
But your cheeks are so swollen… Did someone hit you? And your clothes they’re
torn to shreds… You poor thing.”
Her cold fingers gently touched the
bruises on both cheeks.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“…I do.”
“Oh!” she blinked in surprise. “What
a lovely voice. Like a silver bell rolling across the floor.”
She gazed at him intently, then
spoke again, more gently this time.
“Do you have anywhere to go?”
Kyle shook his head.
“Then come with me. A guest for a
rainy day.”
Her tone was playful as she smiled
and took his hand, leading him inside. They passed through the dim back kitchen
and into a narrow corridor. At the end of it, the nearest door opened into a
wide, shadowy room. The floor was parquet, and though a few lamps flickered
here and there, the room remained dim overall. Crude wooden tables and chairs
were scattered about, and at the far end was a small stage. At first, Kyle
thought it might be a restaurant but the stage seemed out of place. Above the
room, along an interior mezzanine, six numbered doors bore plaques labeled from
1 to 6.
The woman’s dress had a low neckline
and a daring slit that ran up to her thigh. A thought struck him Could this
place be…?
“Leda! Hey, Leda!”
The woman called out, and from the
shadows between two pillars, a small figure in black emerged.
“Claudia! Who is that filthy
beggar?” shrieked the child in a piercing voice.
Kyle stiffened in shock, this wasn’t
a child at all. It was an elderly woman, clearly over seventy. Her face was
deeply lined, her cheeks sagging, and her pale lips revealed gapped and
discolored teeth. Wild black hair spilled from beneath her hood like a tangle
of weeds. And yet, her sunken eye sockets held beady black eyes that gleamed
like a crow’s sharp and predatory.
“He was out back. Said he has
nowhere to go. Poor thing. Remember those clothes a guest left behind? Let me
borrow them.”
The crow-eyed woman glared at Kyle,
and he instinctively took a step back.
“Don’t just go picking up whatever
you please. Dogs and cats are one thing, but people? They cost more to feed,
you know!”
She had a foul tongue, this old
woman. Claudia responded with a casual “That’s true,” but then clapped her
hands together, an idea clearly forming.
“Then let him work here!”
The old woman frowned, her brow
furrowing so deeply it seemed her whole forehead collapsed inward.
“What kind of work can a scrawny
little thing like that do?”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine. Right?” she
said, turning to Kyle.
Caught off guard, he stammered,
“Y-Yeah…”
“Ever since Barton left, we haven’t
hired anyone. Maybe this is fate, maybe God sent him here to be our new
servant.”
With a sudden motion, the old woman
yanked off her hood and clawed at her tangled black hair with both hands,
scratching her scalp like mad. Muttering to herself, she began pacing across
the floor.
“Barton, Barton. That bastard. Ran
off with our top-selling girl, Drella. Do you have any idea how much we
invested in her? Unbelievable. Absolute piece of shit.”
“Drella did more than her share of
work. We should let her go. Sure, it hurt when her regulars stopped coming, but
still…”
The old woman jabbed a finger at
Kyle.
“If that man so much as lays a hand
on one of our girls and bolts Claudia, how do you plan to take
responsibility for that?!”
The woman just gave a light shrug.
“Not everyone’s like Barton,
sweeping the flowers off our shelf. Drella and Barton were in love. I’m sure
they’re living happily in some faraway town.”
The old woman spat on the floor.
“A whore thinking she can lead a
decent life? Don’t make me laugh. He’ll bleed her dry and toss her out like a
rag. That’s how it always goes.”
“Don’t say that,” the woman replied
with a wry smile, then gave a small shiver and hugged herself.
“Ugh, it’s freezing. I’m going to
change. You should too.”
Running her fingers through her
damp, disheveled hair, she disappeared down the hallway. Kyle remained standing
in the middle of the room until the old woman barked at him.
“Hey, you. Change into these.”
She thrust an old shirt and pair of
trousers at him, along with a strip of cloth.
“Don’t complain if they’re too big
or too small. And I don’t care what Claudia says, once the rain stops, you’re
out of here. We don’t have food to waste on useless mouths.”
Every word out of her mouth rubbed
him the wrong way. He bit back a retort, You don’t have to say it like that.
I’ll be out of here the moment the rain lets up, and headed behind the
stage curtain to strip off his wet clothes. He changed into the dusty-smelling
shirt and pants, then used the cloth to dry his hair. And finally, it made
sense: this really was a brothel.
He knew there were women who sold
their bodies to satisfy men’s desires. A relationship bought and sold with
money was something God could never approve of. No matter the reasons, unless
the body that was sold showed sincere repentance and true faith, it would never
reach Heaven, even in death.
That woman with the light brown hair
was probably doing just that, selling her body to get by. She was far kinder
than the man at the general store, but even so… she wouldn’t be going to Heaven
either. The thought left him uneasy.
When he returned to the main room,
the woman had changed into a shirt with sleeves that covered her chest and a
skirt that reached past her knees. She sat on a shabby chair at the center of
the floor.
“Come on, you too,” she said,
beckoning Kyle over.
The old woman had scolded him, and
he wanted nothing more than to leave this place, but the rain outside still
raged. The woman brought a wooden cup to her lips and took a sip.
“Leda, another drink, please. And
one for our darling guest.”
The tiny, shriveled woman named Leda
shouted back, “I’m deducting it from your earnings, you know!”
“I’m afraid I don’t drink,” Kyle
said, turning down the offer.
“Oh?” The woman tilted her head.
“What a shame. Not being able to
drink is like missing out on half the pleasures of life.”
“There are other joys that don’t
involve alcohol.”
She chuckled softly. “Yes… yes,
maybe you’re right,” she murmured, nodding as she pushed back her wet hair.
Then she called out again, “Leda come
have a drink with us. My treat. There’s no way we’re getting any customers
tonight anyway.”
The moment she realized she’d get a
free drink, the old woman hurried over with a cup of alcohol and sat beside
her. She seemed delighted to drink but clearly resented Kyle’s presence. The
moment their eyes met, she turned her gaze away with a dramatic huff.
“This storm, you know I saw it
coming,” said Leda. “The sky went dark, like someone pulled a black cloth over
it, and then the rain started pouring down in sheets. Around here, we call that
kind of weather ‘the Devil’s Umbrella.’ It’s an omen. Means something bad’s
going to happen. So everyone bolts up their doors and doesn’t step outside till
it’s over. Those who ignore the old stories and go out anyway, they always end
up vanishing without a trace or drowning in the river.”
As she spoke, Leda clasped her
wrinkled hands in front of her chest and muttered, “Oooh, how scary.”
“So then,” the woman replied,
half-laughing, “does that mean any man who shows up at our door in this storm
must be the devil himself?”
Leda started trembling.
“Don’t say such blasphemous things.
Not even in jest. Never joke about the devil.”
“Well then,” said the woman,
grinning, “why don’t we just close up for the night? If the devil does come
knocking, we’ll send him right back where he came from.”
Without another word, Leda drained
her cup and began closing the shop. She pulled in the sign from outside and
started locking up. The woman watched her fussing with an amused little smile.
“Claudia.”
The voice came from above. Leaning
over the second-floor railing was a woman with dull golden hair and striking
blue eyes. The hem of her pale pink, revealing dress swayed through the bars of
the railing.
“I thought we had a customer. You’d
better get changed and ready.”
Claudia looked up at her and smiled
warmly.
“He’s not a customer. I spoke with
Leda, we’ve decided to close up for the night. It’s too stormy. Tosha, let
everyone else know, will you?”
The blonde woman, apparently named Tosha,
clasped her hands together and cried, “Yes!” then began knocking on doors down
the hallway. One after another, young women began stepping out of the rooms.
They were dressed in brightly colored, skimpy outfits, hair done up, neatly dresses
in spring tones of grassy green and soft pink, like blossoms come to life.
As Kyle watched them, the woman
beside him spoke up.
“Hey you. What’s your name?”
“Kyle.”
“What a lovely name. I’m Claudia. I
run this place.”
She gently reached out and touched
Kyle’s hair.
“Such beautiful blonde hair… like
melted honey. And your eyes sparkle like jewels. You’re so very pretty. Just
like the angels painted on church walls.”
Being called beautiful, pretty, it
wasn’t a bad feeling. Claudia, it seemed, had a real eye for what was truly
lovely.
“When I first saw you,” she went on,
“I thought my little sister had come to visit. But I realized quickly that
wasn’t it. My sister has the same golden hair, but her eyes are grey like mine.
Besides, she’s only nine. She lives with my uncle in Parinié Village now. And
you, Kyle where are you from? Ah, wait, don’t tell me.”
She raised her hand to his mouth,
playful.
“I’ll guess. We’ve closed up shop
and there’s nothing else to do, so keep me company, won’t you? Let’s see… Kyle,
you’re the illegitimate child of the neighboring town’s lord. The lord already
has a legitimate son, but he loved your mother deeply and wanted you to
be his heir. The son found out and lured you into the forest to have you
killed. But you barely escaped with your life, and now you’re on the run.”
Kyle couldn’t help but give a weak
smile at the absurd tale.
“Hehe… I read a story like that once
in a book Drella gave me. But the best part is how the illegitimate son ends up
becoming a noble knight, respected even by the king, and marries a princess.
Isn’t that just the happiest ending?”
Claudia, her eyes dreamy, suddenly
sobered.
“But fairytales don’t matter much,
do they? I’m no princess. So, Kyle… where did you really come from?”
He couldn’t very well say “Heaven,”
so he settled for a vague “Far away.”
Claudia leaned over the table toward
him.
“Far away… like Pigeon Village? Or
maybe even farther, Parinié? I’ve never been past there, so I don’t know what
kinds of towns or villages lie beyond…”
Kyle lowered his gaze, unable to
answer.
“Something must have happened.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t have come all this way, would you?”
Yes he was not here by choice. He
wasn’t staying in a filthy brothel because he wanted to. He’d been betrayed and
wounded by the demon, and drifted until he arrived in this town.
The wind had picked up outside, and
the window frames rattled with a clatter. In this weather, it was impossible to
go searching on foot, even if he managed to learn the name of the village where
the demon lived. Besides, the sun was already setting. With his powers
weakened, it was too dangerous to be out at night. As humiliating as it was, he
had no choice tonight but to rely on this woman Claudia and ask to stay at the
brothel.
Still, the thought of an angel
staying in a brothel, the very stage of the deadly sin of lust was
almost too much to bear. It was beginning to weigh on him, this miserable turn
of events. When he fell from Heaven, his heart had been full of hope of love.
He had believed he would be able to love the demon. Even if he bore the
disgrace of being a fallen angel, the days they shared would be filled with
joy.
“There’s no such thing as forever.”
He remembered the words that had
broken him.
Suppose the rain stopped. Suppose it
wasn’t night. Suppose that miserable little house was within walking distance.
He would go to the demon, tell him he had been hurt because of him, and ask for
shelter. The demon would be responsible for protecting him, at least until the
wounds healed. Because it was the demon’s fault, after all.
But what would happen once the
wounds were gone?
The demon was in love with a human.
That meant Kyle would have to leave. And if he left, he’d be alone. Alone, with
no love, carrying only the disgrace of being a fallen angel, crawling through
the dirt of the mortal world. A wave of grief, of utter emptiness,
crashed over him, and tears dripped steadily from both eyes.
“You’ve been through something
terribly painful, haven’t you?”
He nodded.
Cool hands quietly reached out and
held his right hand.
“My mother used to say something,”
Claudia told him. “That when you speak of your pain, the one who listens takes
on half of it. That’s why you should always be grateful to those who listen.”
She looked directly into Kyle’s
eyes.
“Let me carry half of yours.”
A human, such a frail, foolish
creature with barely seventy years to live couldn’t possibly carry the burden
of his sorrow. And yet, somehow, he desperately wanted someone to hear his
pathetic story.
“If you’re closing up, go to your
room,” said Leda. “I’m turning off the lamps too. What a waste of oil… what a
waste…”
She muttered to herself as she moved
between the tables, collecting the lanterns. Claudia took Kyle by the hand and
said, “Let’s go to my room,” leading him to a back room on the first floor.
The room was small, with earthen
walls, and furnished only with a bed and a modest chest. There were no
paintings, no reliefs on the walls. Kyle sat beside her on the bed, just as
she’d invited him to.
“What happened?” she asked softly.
Her fingers brushed through his
golden curls.
“What could have brought sadness to
someone so beautiful?”
Her gentle words coaxed him into
speaking.
“The one I loved told me they don’t
love me anymore.”
“I see,” she said, her gray eyes
acknowledging his pain. Kyle clenched both hands tightly.
“At first, he said he loved me. He
said the only reason he even existed was to protect me. And yet now, after all
this time, he tells me his heart belongs to someone else. Because I chose to
love him, I was exiled from my home, my country and now I can never go back.
I’ve ended up like this… in this pathetic state…”
Soft arms wrapped around him. Her
warmth comforted him, and the words came pouring out faster.
"I didn't realize it was love
at first. Even when he whispered he loved me, I didn't quite understand. It was
only when I was alone that I finally understood his love was everything to me.
That’s why I came back. And yet, he told me, ‘Love isn’t eternal. Go back to
where you came from.’ But I can’t go back… not anymore."
"Poor Kyle. You were betrayed
by the one you loved."
Yes, what the demon had done was
betrayal. Even with his eyes tightly shut, fresh tears welled up at the
corners.
"Being betrayed by someone you
love is painful. But once you get through this, it’ll become easier. And as
time goes by, you’ll be able to forget. It’ll turn into a good memory, and
you’ll fall in love with someone else."
Still in her arms, Kyle echoed the
word softly, "Forget…?"
"Yes, forget. Forget and let it
go."
At that, Kyle jerked upright from
her soft embrace.
"You want me to forget the love
that made me give up everything?!"
His gray eyes stared straight into
hers.
"Kyle, that love is already
gone. What that person said, it’s painful, but it’s the truth. Love isn’t
eternal. It’s something that’s born and fades away, like a bubble."
"It hasn’t disappeared. My love
is right here. I still feel it, I still love him!"
When her hand gently stroked his
cheek, Kyle’s shoulders flinched.
"You may still feel it, but
it’s already vanished from their heart. Once love is gone, it never returns.
Especially if they’ve found someone else to love. The kindest thing you can do
for them now… is to forget."
"Shut up!" Kyle shouted,
springing to his feet and throwing his arms wide.
"Don’t tell me what to do. Do
you know what it took for me to finally accept his existence inside myself? I
gave up everything for him, everything! I have nothing left!"
He couldn’t stay still. Frustrated,
he began pacing the room, unable to stop. Claudia’s words clung to him like
chains Love that’s vanished. Love that can never be fulfilled. Love that
isn’t eternal…
"You didn’t give everything up
for that person. You gave it up because you wanted to be by their side.
You decided you didn’t care about losing your country or your status."
Kyle whipped around, sharply.
"Don’t put the blame on them.
That was your choice."
A bolt of lightning seemed to strike
through his mind. He began pacing even more furiously than before. I chose
it myself… Yes, that was true. But still… but still… He turned to face her
again. A human woman with light brown hair and gray eyes. A woman who sold her
body to men, a woman who would never make it to heaven. You should’ve just
nodded quietly while I spoke. So why would you say something to anger an angel?
"I started this job when I was
fifteen. My parents were killed while we were traveling, and I was left with my
little sister, who was only two. We were taken in by my uncle, but he already
had children, and his family wasn’t well off… so I was sold."
Kyle swallowed hard, as though
forcing something down his throat.
"The man who sold you… he’ll
rot in hell."
The unfortunate woman laughed
brightly, as if it were nothing.
"Hell? That’s a bit dramatic.
In poor villages, it happens all the time. Sell one daughter, and a family of
five might just survive the winter. It’s better for one person to be ‘sold’
than for everyone to starve to death."
"Still, to sell a person for
money… that can never be justified. God would never forgive such a thing."
Claudia gently pushed back her
still-damp hair. Her gray eyes lowered quietly.
“There are plenty of girls like me, sold
off from poor villages just to survive. Our bodies became bread for others. One
girl used to say that maybe that was the reason she was born. But I
wonder… even if we did it to save our families, does that mean God still won’t
forgive us? Or is it more virtuous for everyone to just starve to death
instead?”
Even as those gray eyes stared
straight at him, he couldn’t bring himself to respond.
Back when he was in the heavens, he
had visited the human world many times for inspection. He knew of parents who
sold their children to survive. And those kinds of people had been the first to
be sent to Hell. He had never once questioned whether that was the right thing.
“They should’ve sold themselves
instead of their daughters.”
“If they had done that, what would
happen after the winter passed? Children can’t survive on their own.”
Humans had no choice but to die if
they didn’t have food. It was simply what had to happen. But they went against
their fates, they clung to life, struggled against it and in doing so, turned
their backs on God’s teachings.
“The girl who said she’d become
bread for others… she was very kind, but she was frail. She died less than two
years after she came here. …I wonder why I’m telling you all this. Right, I’ve
been doing this job since I was fifteen, and over the years there’ve been many
who promised they loved me. There was even someone who swore he’d take me away
from here, marry me but none of them ever kept their promises.”
Of course not. Words of love
whispered to a brothel girl meant nothing beyond the moment. Who would leave
behind their heart for a woman they only wanted for her body?
Because her own love had never come
true, she now claimed love was never eternal. Lumping all forms of love into
the same category, he found that deeply irritating.
Staring straight ahead, he offered
no reply to the woman from the brothel. Claudia rose from the bed, came to
kneel before him.
“I’m just so happy to talk to
someone new, I’m sorry I ended up going on and on about myself. Two years ago,
the madam here passed away, and since I was the oldest, the place was left to
me. That’s why I can bend the rules a bit. If you can’t go back to the country
you came from, then why not stay here? If you do the heavy lifting in Barton’s
place, Leda won’t complain.”
“Shut up!”
The sudden shout made Claudia
flinch, her shoulders jolting.
“I’m nothing like you. Hearing you
talk disgusts me.”
She looked up at him with a gaze
full of compassion and reached out, gently taking his hand. His mind spun. Why why
was an angel being pitied by a prostitute?
“Get away from me. Don’t touch me!”
Perhaps she didn’t know how to deal
with him anymore. Claudia stepped back from his side. She stood by the door,
staring at him for a long moment, then quietly slipped out of the room.
He wasn’t like an angel. He was
one. A true servant of God. The kind no human should ever lay eyes on while
still alive.
The tiny window rattled. The wind
outside howled like a flute, and heavy rain slammed against the glass panes.
The violent storm mirrored the storm inside Kyle. He didn’t understand why he
felt so shaken.
The door creaked open. He looked up,
and Claudia was back, a small tray in her hands.
“Lamb soup and some bread. You must
be hungry. Eating will help you feel better.”
He turned his face away from the
offered tray. Food meant for humans would never nourish an angel or satisfy his
hunger.
“I don’t want it.”
“No need to hold back. I cleaned out
the room Barton used, so after you eat, you can rest there. We can talk more
about work tomorrow.”
She pushed the tray closer as if
trying to insist. The forcefulness of the gesture was beginning to grate on
him.
“Kyle… You haven’t really eaten at
all, have you?”
He shook off the hand that tried to
hold his with a violent motion.
“Ah ”
The cup tipped over on the tray it
had been knocked by an elbow. The lamb soup spilled entirely into the deep
tray, and the bread floated on top of it, bobbing gently.
Regret hit immediately. Even if it
had been pushy and overbearing, she had brought the food out of kindness. He
had meant to say I'm sorry…, but before the words left his mouth, Kyle's
eyes widened. Claudia was scooping up the spilled soup with her hands and
drinking it. She even ate the bread soaked in soup without leaving a bite.
“Sorry for the bad manners.”
Claudia licked her soup-covered
hands with her tongue.
“It just felt wasteful, that’s all.
There are children dying because they have nothing to eat. If I waste food, I
feel like God will scold me… Don’t worry, Kyle there’s still plenty left for
you.”
“I don’t want it!”
Kyle let out a scream.
“I can’t eat anything.”
“It’s all right, you don’t have to
hold back. I’ll bring more later.”
“No! Please, just leave me alone.
I’m begging you.”
He grabbed his head in both hands
and pleaded. Only when he rejected her desperately did Claudia finally give up
trying to feed him.
That night, he spent the night in
the room of the man who had run off with a prostitute. It was even smaller than
Claudia’s room, and it had no windows. Without a candle, it would be pitch
dark. On top of hunger, there was the musty bed that reeked of mold and the
blanket that smelled of sweat. Compared to the downpour outside, he was
grateful just to have dry clothes and a bed. Still, once he started noticing
things, he couldn’t fall asleep.
In the long night, he thought. Is
this what humans are really like? In a way, scooping up spilled soup with
her hands wasn’t wrong, it showed respect for food. It wasn’t wrong, but where
was her dignity as a person? That was no different than a beast. If it were
me… he imagined himself in her place. No matter how wasteful it might feel,
he wouldn’t drink it with his hands. Maybe if someone told him he would die
instantly if he didn’t, he’d reconsider.
Humans are weak. They lack patience
and are easily swayed. And yet such fragile creatures had dared to argue with
angels. The memory alone made him angry again.
Tomorrow, he would go to the demon’s
house. No matter how far it was, he could reach it in a day. He made up his
mind and pulled the smelly blanket over his head. Just as he was about to fall
asleep, the prostitute’s words drifted back into his mind, fragmented.
“Love isn’t eternal, it’s like a
bubble, born and gone in an instant.”
Even if the demon’s love had
vanished, his love hadn’t. He wanted to see him, to be held, to be by
his side. Tomorrow, he would storm into that house and accuse him: You’re
the reason I got hurt. It was the demon’s duty to protect him. But once he
healed, would that demon say: Get out, all over again?
Imagining that scene made his chest
ache as if it might burst. Even while he was suffering like this, the
demon was probably out there, carelessly loving some human woman.
What a cruel fate… Drowning in that
sea of heartache, he suddenly realized something. Back when he hadn’t yet
understood his own feelings he had left the demon behind and returned to
Heaven, even after hearing I love you, and You’re everything to me.
Could it be that the demon had felt the same way? Were there nights when he had
cried from the ache of longing?
And had someone told him to just
forget, so he tried to love someone else? If the demon’s love never
returned to him, what was he supposed to do then? In the darkness, Kyle lay
motionless, listening vaguely to the sound of the wind shaking the building.
Comments
Post a Comment