Rose Garden: Chapter 14

Previous TOC Next

Kyle sat down on the stone steps by the front door and hugged his knees. What should he say when the demon came back? First, he needed to apologize for lying but the thought made his chest twist with discomfort.

He waited. And waited. And waited until weariness settled into his bones. By the time the demon finally returned, it was early the next morning. He stopped at a slight distance from Kyle and stared at him. His expression looked deeply, utterly tired.

"Why do you keep showing yourself to me? You even took the flowers. You’ve got no reason to come here anymore."

Avoiding the question he didn’t want to answer, Kyle asked only what he wanted to know.

"Why do you have only one wing on your back?"

After a long silence, the demon slowly opened his mouth.

"I burned it."

"You burned it?" Kyle echoed.

"It was cold, so I burned it in the fireplace."

"If you don’t have wings, you can’t fly. Why would you do something so foolish?"

Kyle could tell the demon was smiling.

"Because I’m a demon. I suppose that makes me foolish by nature. Kyle, answer my question now. Why do you keep appearing in front of me?"

Faced with a question he couldn’t dodge, Kyle quickly looked away.

"Am I… going to die soon?"

Warren shrugged at the completely off-target assumption.

"A demon doesn’t die after just a few hundred years."

Warren stared at him with only his right eye, not even blinking.

"Then why stay here on earth? Why not go back to heaven where the one you love is?"

Kyle bit his lip hard and drew his knees to his chest. He was about to confess he came back because he was in love, because he wanted to stay by his side. But saying that meant he’d also have to come clean about all the lies he’d told.

"I... I got bored."

His voice trembled.

"Bored?"

"I got tired of life in heaven, so I came back."

At once, the demon burst out laughing, like he’d gone mad.

"You must’ve been really bored to come crawling back to the one you ran from so desperately you had to lie to escape."

"T-That’s not the only reason! Y-You’re a demon, so someone has to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t do anything bad "

Kyle stumbled to cover himself with more lies, frantic and flustered, while Warren’s face remained utterly still, like a windless lake.

"I no longer have the power I used to. Ever since I lost a wing, I haven’t been able to fly."

"But, uh... that is..."

The words caught in his throat, leaving him stammering like a fool.

"I’m just a harmless creature now. I know my place. I hardly go near where humans live anymore. I’ll stay here in this house and live quietly until the day I turn to ash."

Warren pressed his right hand to his forehead.

"I’ve finally gotten used to being alone. If this is the punishment for being a demon, then I accept it. But when you appear, it stirs up my heart. Maybe it’s just a way to kill time for you, but to me, it’s like swallowing a thousand needles. I know I’m in no position to ask anything of you after everything I did, but if even a sliver of pity remains in you for me, then please don’t ever appear in front of me again."

"That would be a problem for me."

Kyle stood up and protested.

"It would just mean one less place to waste time. How is that a problem?"

"It’s not that. I..."

The white rose’s words of encouragement flashed through his chest Just say it honestly: you want to be by his side.

"...I love you."

He blurted it out gruffly. Even though it was the truth, being cornered into saying it made Kyle instantly sour and irritable.

He’d finally said the words Warren had likely longed to hear, but the demon didn’t react, not with surprise, not with tears, not by rushing over to embrace him, not even with a kiss. He simply stared at him in confusion, then ruffled his black hair.

"Don’t mess around like that."

Brushing off his desperate confession as some kind of joke ignited a furious anger in Kyle.

"I said I love you!"

Warren shook his head.

"I can’t believe you."

Warren approached as he spoke, brushing past Kyle and placing his hand on the shattered door.

"I can’t trust you, Kyle."

Kyle trembled, lips pressed tightly together. I told him I loved him. But he had only replied that he couldn’t trust him. I abandoned life in the heavens and came all this way, said I loved him and still, he won’t accept me. Why?

With his back still turned to Kyle, Warren spoke again.

"The red-haired girl who often comes to the house, she’s Snair’s granddaughter. Her name is Eugene."

Snair… The name stirred nostalgia, conjuring a memory of an innocent, beaming smile. Warren turned to face him.

"She’s always there when I’m feeling lonely. She’s kind. I love Eugene… I’m thinking of marrying her."

His mind went blank. The world before his eyes lost all color. Desperate to steady his thoughts, Kyle clenched his fingers into fists again and again. The moment clarity began to return, a scorching rage erupted from deep within him.

"That’s a sin. You’re a demon. To lust after a human girl how could you…"

"It may be a sin. But Eugene accepted me."

"You will surely be struck down by divine punishment."

Kyle pointed at the demon and declared:

"Then let it strike me. I’ll accept it gladly."

There were words he used to hear, whispered again and again beside his ear when they lived together in this house. I love you, I love you, over and over. I exist to protect you, he had said so many times.

"You lied to me!"

Kyle lunged forward, grabbing a fistful of the demon’s shabby clothing.



"You said you loved me. That was all a lie!"

"I did love you. But hearts change. Nothing is eternal."

The words pierced straight through his chest.

"Don’t say it’s because you were bored. Just go back to the heavens, Kyle. That’s where you belong."

Warren stepped into the house, and Kyle crumpled to the ground on the spot. He had fallen for love, but that love was gone. He had said I love you so many times, again and again and now all of it had vanished.

No… he couldn’t pretend it had never existed. He still remembered those gentle eyes, the lips that spoke of love, the strength of the arms that held him.

Was I too late? But it was only now that he realized it, only now could he understand just how deeply he’d been loved. Back when he tried to run away, he couldn’t even bring himself to consider what the demon felt. He hadn’t been able to face that love.

I love you! He screamed soundlessly at the door that remained closed. I love you, I love you, I love you it’s all I have and even that love has been taken by a human girl.

Tears streamed down his cheeks. Sad, sad, sad. Bitter, bitter, bitter. No matter how sad, no matter how bitter it felt, the demon’s heart would never return to him. A failed demon like that would torment an angel like him forever.

I want to disappear. He didn’t want to carry this miserable agony any longer. He couldn’t return to the heavens, and the demon had rejected him. There was nowhere left for an angel like him to go. Then I might as well vanish. Let a monster devour me, let me just disappear.

He spread his white wings wide and soared into the sky. The force of his flight yanked out feathers, sending them fluttering down like snow. He flew straight toward the forest of Oliva and cast himself down into the monster’s domain.

Inside the forest, the trees grew in thick, oppressive clusters. The overgrown branches and leaves blocked out the sunlight. The air was heavy and stagnant, and somewhere, perhaps everywhere reeked of rot. It wasn’t just one spot. The entire forest seemed shrouded in that stench.

Kyle endured the stench and lay down at the foot of a huge tree, on the thick undergrowth. Before long some monster would devour this body, leaving neither bone nor soul, erasing every bitter, aching thought.

Aheavenly being who had chosen a demon would surely be cast into hell whether he allowed himself to be eaten or not, the ending would be the same. He closed his eyes and waited for the final moment when a monsters jaws would close around him.

It didn’t take long. A reek so foul it seemed his nose might rot off drifted closer. Even pinching his nostrils shut could not keep it out. Grass crackled under heavy steps something was approaching. What kind of monster stinks like this…? He opened his eyes and shrieked.

Leaning over him was a creature like an ape twice a man’s size; from its cavernous mouth hung a long purple tongue.

“An angel an angel! How many years since I last had such a feast?”

As it spoke, brown vapors rose from its maw, making the stench even worse and burning Kyle’s eyes. He had expected monsters to be foul and ugly and had steeled himself for death, but he could not bear to be eaten by this thing. He sprang up, covering mouth and nose with a sleeve, and tried to launch himself sky‑ward only for the monster to seize his wing and yank him back.

“White white wings. They must taste splendid.”

Kyle thrashed, beating his wings wildly, but the brute twisted one and bit down. Agony ripped through him; he screamed. Wrenching free, he kicked off the ground and shot upward. Leaves snapped around him as he burst through the canopy into open air. Something had been torn; every beat sent a throbbing pain through the mangled wing, and he lurched drunkenly left and right. But he was still above the Oliva Forest: if he fell now he would surely become fodder.

Gritting his teeth, he forced the wings to keep moving. Then another nightmare came darting in its face a cat’s, its body avian. One at first; then more, until a dozen circled him. Their stench was just as vile. Sensing his injury, they swooped, snapping at wings and limbs.

“Stop stop it! Get away!”

On any other day he could have scattered such pests with a simple spell, but the torn wing had sapped his power. Each incantation only drove them back a pace; they swooped in again at once.

Fall, fall, they chorused, until at last the edge of the forest slid beneath him. The sky cleared and the creatures vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. Nearby lay the little wood with the elm where he had spent the night and made his rose‑garden; by day he might fend off monsters, but when night strengthened their power they would drag him back into Oliva. Wounded and depleted, he would be easy prey.

Farther… I need to get farther while there is light.

Yet his strength spilled away like air from a punctured balloon. He flew lower, lower then the wings simply ceased to move, and he tumbled into a rolling green meadow.

Panting, he lay there. Wings that should have felt weightless dragged at his back like lead. He folded them away, invisibility required only a minor spell, yet even that left his body heavy as stone. After lying in the grass a long while, he pushed himself up.

I’ll go to the demon’s house, Kyle resolved. Look at me wounded like this, helpless enough that monsters might eat me if I’m left outside. He’ll pity me… he’ll take me in.

On the western side of the meadow, a narrow path stretched in a single line. At its eastern end, a large town came into view. Kyle had been so blindly focused on escaping the monsters that he no longer knew where he was heading. He was too exhausted to fly, and without the sky beneath his wings, he couldn’t even tell direction. But if he reached the town, someone might tell him where the demon’s village lay.

He dragged his heavy body forward, swaying with each step. What should have taken minutes by flight took him ages on foot. When he finally reached the town gates, the light around his feet darkened. The once-blue sky drew a curtain of gray clouds overhead, and raindrops began to fall, one by one.

In an instant, the gentle patter turned to a furious downpour that pelted the earth. People rushed past him in haste. He tried to call out “Um, excuse me…” but no one stopped. Everyone was desperate to reach shelter, too busy to spare even a moment.

Just a few seconds, that’s all I need, Kyle thought bitterly. How heartless these humans are. Shivering, soaked, and miserable, he wandered into the town. He was cold. He was hungry. And it only made things worse knowing he wouldn’t have felt either if his wings hadn’t been injured. It made his anger burn hotter.

The dirt road gave way to stone paving. He passed through a narrow street lined with shops and suddenly the view opened: a large fountain stood in the center, surrounded by a plaza. This was likely the heart of the town but not a soul remained, chased away by the storm.

A little to the right stood a church. Church folk were kind surely someone there would give him directions, maybe even let him rest. He knocked on the doors, but there was no sign of life inside.

The entrance had no awning to shelter under. Kyle stood there helplessly, searching the plaza for any place to keep dry. Then he spotted it, a general store across the fountain, with a wide roof that jutted far forward. He staggered over and sank beneath its eaves. The rain no longer touched him, but his wet clothes clung cold to his skin. Curling into himself, he hugged his shoulders, shivering violently.

Then the door creaked open. A stout middle-aged man stepped out of the shop. Perfect, Kyle stood to ask for directions. But before he could speak, the man swept his eyes over him, head to toe, with a look of distaste.

“I don’t know which brothel you ran away from, but get lost. I run a decent business here. You’re bad for appearances.”

Kyle couldn’t hide the shock. Never in his life had he been so insulted. He, an angel, a sacred carrier of souls, a child of God mistaken for a prostitute selling their body for coin?

“H-How dare you…!”

He shook with fury now, not from the cold. The man blinked, startled.

“Thought you were a girl with that pretty face. But you’re a man? A man dressed like that? You nuts or something? Huh, now that I think of it, someone once said male whores are a thing too. That it?”

Kyle marched straight up to him and slapped his face hard.

“You’ve gone too far! Do you have any idea who I am? I am…!”

But he didn’t finish the sentence. The man grabbed the front of his robes and hauled him up, then struck him across the face right, left, right, left again and again. At last he hurled Kyle to the rain-slick cobblestones and delivered a savage kick to his back.

“You damned freak. Get lost if you don’t want real pain!”

Kyle lay there, stunned. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. A human had raised a hand to him. A human had dared to strike and kick an angel.

He lifted his head and glared up at the man.

“…You’d do well to remember this. Your soul will never reach Heaven after death.”

The man turned on his heel and went back into the store.

“…For the sin of mocking me… you will fall into Hell…”

Only the falling rain bore witness to his final words. How strange… When an angel reveals themselves, they are normally revered, even brought to tears by the devout and yet, he had been treated with nothing but cruelty. His face, his form, none of it had changed. Was it really just the absence of wings, the mere fact that he had not descended from the sky, that made people treat him so differently?

What would that man do if Kyle were to unfurl his angelic wings right now? Would he burst from his shop, fall to his knees and repent his actions? Would he cling to Kyle’s feet, begging not to be sent to Hell? Kyle crouched down, trembling with helpless frustration. If he broke the concealment spell, he could show his wings but he would need to expend even more power to hide them again afterward. And although he had traveled far from Oliva Forest, he was still injured. His strength remained incomplete. There was no guarantee the monsters wouldn’t come at night. He had to conserve what little energy he had left.

Slowly, he rose to his feet and trudged through the rain around the fountain, still soaked to the bone. He spotted two more buildings with deep awnings, one a butcher, the other a bakery. The memory of the shopkeeper’s brutal dismissal replayed in his mind. “You’re bad for appearances.” The thought of enduring such abuse again made him shrink back. He couldn’t bring himself to seek shelter there.

As the rain intensified, Kyle wandered aimlessly through the town in search of a place, any place where he might stay dry. Leaving the main street behind, he slipped into a narrow alley paved only with packed earth. Puddles littered the path, and though he tried to avoid them, the hem of his robe grew stained with muddy brown.

In the backstreets, few houses had awnings at all, and most opened only onto side doors. What if I end up wandering like this forever…? The hopelessness weighed on him like lead as he continued forward, until finally almost miraculously he found a building with a wide awning over its back entrance.

It was a broad, two-story structure with evenly spaced windows likely an inn. Beside the back door sat a large bin used to store garbage.

A faint stench of decay drifted from it, but compared to the stench of monsters, it was almost charming. The moment Kyle sat beside it, a sharp “Meow!” pierced the air. He leapt up in alarm. A stray cat darted out from behind the bin, shot him a piercing glare, then turned its face away and vanished into a gap in the alley wall.

Scared by a cat… The thought made him laugh weakly at himself. Hugging his knees, he sank down onto the stone step and let out a long sigh. All he wanted was to escape the cold, to rest his body for just a little while and yet even that meager wish seemed out of reach. He couldn’t help but feel pity for the wretched state he was in.

His wings would take weeks to heal. He still had the strength to keep them hidden, so it was unlikely any monsters would ambush him while he slept but better to avoid them altogether. This, all of this, was the demon’s fault. Kyle clenched his aching jaw. Because the demon had said he’d fallen in love with a human and thrown Kyle into despair, he’d tried to take his own life. And that reckless act had led to being attacked, to his wings being wounded and to this miserable ruin.

His cheek throbbed where he’d been hit. His back hurt. His feet ached from walking too much. He was cold. He was tired. The demon should take responsibility for what had happened to him. He should apologize. And yet, no matter how much Kyle blamed him in his heart, no apology would come. No one would come to get him.

As Kyle gazed blankly out at the endless rain, he heard voices from inside the building. Someone was near the back entrance. If they spotted him huddled beneath the awning, they might throw him out into the street again but he couldn’t bring himself to go back into the rain. He couldn’t walk another step.

Suddenly, something slammed into his back. He pitched forward and collapsed onto the rain-soaked ground of the alley.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!”

A young woman with light brown hair and gray eyes stood in the doorway. She had pushed the door open and it had struck him squarely in the back.



Their eyes met. The woman pressed both hands over her mouth, a startled look on her face. But as she studied Kyle more closely, her expression softened.

She shifted her weight, the hem of her grass-green dress swaying lightly around her legs.

“I didn’t expect anyone to be sitting out here like this.”

She extended her slender right hand toward him. Kyle hesitated, unsure what it meant. Hands had struck him before just recently, in fact.

“Can’t you stand? Or do you not understand what I’m saying?”

She stepped into the rain. Her light brown hair and green dress were quickly soaked, rain hammering down with a roar. Gently, she took Kyle’s hand and pulled him to his feet, guiding him back under the sheltering eaves with her cold fingers.

“Terrible rain today, isn’t it? With weather like this, I doubt we’ll get a single guest. My dress is ruined now, completely ruined.”

Despite her complaint, she let out a light laugh fufu as though finding the whole thing amusing, and peered at Kyle with curious gray eyes.

“You have such beautiful green eyes. But your cheeks are so swollen… Did someone hit you? And your clothes they’re torn to shreds… You poor thing.”

Her cold fingers gently touched the bruises on both cheeks.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“…I do.”

“Oh!” she blinked in surprise. “What a lovely voice. Like a silver bell rolling across the floor.”

She gazed at him intently, then spoke again, more gently this time.

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

Kyle shook his head.

“Then come with me. A guest for a rainy day.”

Her tone was playful as she smiled and took his hand, leading him inside. They passed through the dim back kitchen and into a narrow corridor. At the end of it, the nearest door opened into a wide, shadowy room. The floor was parquet, and though a few lamps flickered here and there, the room remained dim overall. Crude wooden tables and chairs were scattered about, and at the far end was a small stage. At first, Kyle thought it might be a restaurant but the stage seemed out of place. Above the room, along an interior mezzanine, six numbered doors bore plaques labeled from 1 to 6.

The woman’s dress had a low neckline and a daring slit that ran up to her thigh. A thought struck him Could this place be…?

“Leda! Hey, Leda!”

The woman called out, and from the shadows between two pillars, a small figure in black emerged.

“Claudia! Who is that filthy beggar?” shrieked the child in a piercing voice.

Kyle stiffened in shock, this wasn’t a child at all. It was an elderly woman, clearly over seventy. Her face was deeply lined, her cheeks sagging, and her pale lips revealed gapped and discolored teeth. Wild black hair spilled from beneath her hood like a tangle of weeds. And yet, her sunken eye sockets held beady black eyes that gleamed like a crow’s sharp and predatory.

“He was out back. Said he has nowhere to go. Poor thing. Remember those clothes a guest left behind? Let me borrow them.”

The crow-eyed woman glared at Kyle, and he instinctively took a step back.

“Don’t just go picking up whatever you please. Dogs and cats are one thing, but people? They cost more to feed, you know!”

She had a foul tongue, this old woman. Claudia responded with a casual “That’s true,” but then clapped her hands together, an idea clearly forming.

“Then let him work here!”

The old woman frowned, her brow furrowing so deeply it seemed her whole forehead collapsed inward.

“What kind of work can a scrawny little thing like that do?”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. Right?” she said, turning to Kyle.

Caught off guard, he stammered, “Y-Yeah…”

“Ever since Barton left, we haven’t hired anyone. Maybe this is fate, maybe God sent him here to be our new servant.”

With a sudden motion, the old woman yanked off her hood and clawed at her tangled black hair with both hands, scratching her scalp like mad. Muttering to herself, she began pacing across the floor.

“Barton, Barton. That bastard. Ran off with our top-selling girl, Drella. Do you have any idea how much we invested in her? Unbelievable. Absolute piece of shit.”

“Drella did more than her share of work. We should let her go. Sure, it hurt when her regulars stopped coming, but still…”

The old woman jabbed a finger at Kyle.

“If that man so much as lays a hand on one of our girls and bolts Claudia, how do you plan to take responsibility for that?!”

The woman just gave a light shrug.

“Not everyone’s like Barton, sweeping the flowers off our shelf. Drella and Barton were in love. I’m sure they’re living happily in some faraway town.”

The old woman spat on the floor.

“A whore thinking she can lead a decent life? Don’t make me laugh. He’ll bleed her dry and toss her out like a rag. That’s how it always goes.”

“Don’t say that,” the woman replied with a wry smile, then gave a small shiver and hugged herself.

“Ugh, it’s freezing. I’m going to change. You should too.”

Running her fingers through her damp, disheveled hair, she disappeared down the hallway. Kyle remained standing in the middle of the room until the old woman barked at him.

“Hey, you. Change into these.”

She thrust an old shirt and pair of trousers at him, along with a strip of cloth.

“Don’t complain if they’re too big or too small. And I don’t care what Claudia says, once the rain stops, you’re out of here. We don’t have food to waste on useless mouths.”

Every word out of her mouth rubbed him the wrong way. He bit back a retort, You don’t have to say it like that. I’ll be out of here the moment the rain lets up, and headed behind the stage curtain to strip off his wet clothes. He changed into the dusty-smelling shirt and pants, then used the cloth to dry his hair. And finally, it made sense: this really was a brothel.

He knew there were women who sold their bodies to satisfy men’s desires. A relationship bought and sold with money was something God could never approve of. No matter the reasons, unless the body that was sold showed sincere repentance and true faith, it would never reach Heaven, even in death.

That woman with the light brown hair was probably doing just that, selling her body to get by. She was far kinder than the man at the general store, but even so… she wouldn’t be going to Heaven either. The thought left him uneasy.

When he returned to the main room, the woman had changed into a shirt with sleeves that covered her chest and a skirt that reached past her knees. She sat on a shabby chair at the center of the floor.

“Come on, you too,” she said, beckoning Kyle over.

The old woman had scolded him, and he wanted nothing more than to leave this place, but the rain outside still raged. The woman brought a wooden cup to her lips and took a sip.

“Leda, another drink, please. And one for our darling guest.”

The tiny, shriveled woman named Leda shouted back, “I’m deducting it from your earnings, you know!”

“I’m afraid I don’t drink,” Kyle said, turning down the offer.

“Oh?” The woman tilted her head.

“What a shame. Not being able to drink is like missing out on half the pleasures of life.”

“There are other joys that don’t involve alcohol.”

She chuckled softly. “Yes… yes, maybe you’re right,” she murmured, nodding as she pushed back her wet hair.

Then she called out again, “Leda come have a drink with us. My treat. There’s no way we’re getting any customers tonight anyway.”

The moment she realized she’d get a free drink, the old woman hurried over with a cup of alcohol and sat beside her. She seemed delighted to drink but clearly resented Kyle’s presence. The moment their eyes met, she turned her gaze away with a dramatic huff.

“This storm, you know I saw it coming,” said Leda. “The sky went dark, like someone pulled a black cloth over it, and then the rain started pouring down in sheets. Around here, we call that kind of weather ‘the Devil’s Umbrella.’ It’s an omen. Means something bad’s going to happen. So everyone bolts up their doors and doesn’t step outside till it’s over. Those who ignore the old stories and go out anyway, they always end up vanishing without a trace or drowning in the river.”

As she spoke, Leda clasped her wrinkled hands in front of her chest and muttered, “Oooh, how scary.”

“So then,” the woman replied, half-laughing, “does that mean any man who shows up at our door in this storm must be the devil himself?”

Leda started trembling.

“Don’t say such blasphemous things. Not even in jest. Never joke about the devil.”

“Well then,” said the woman, grinning, “why don’t we just close up for the night? If the devil does come knocking, we’ll send him right back where he came from.”

Without another word, Leda drained her cup and began closing the shop. She pulled in the sign from outside and started locking up. The woman watched her fussing with an amused little smile.

“Claudia.”

The voice came from above. Leaning over the second-floor railing was a woman with dull golden hair and striking blue eyes. The hem of her pale pink, revealing dress swayed through the bars of the railing.

“I thought we had a customer. You’d better get changed and ready.”

Claudia looked up at her and smiled warmly.

“He’s not a customer. I spoke with Leda, we’ve decided to close up for the night. It’s too stormy. Tosha, let everyone else know, will you?”

The blonde woman, apparently named Tosha, clasped her hands together and cried, “Yes!” then began knocking on doors down the hallway. One after another, young women began stepping out of the rooms. They were dressed in brightly colored, skimpy outfits, hair done up, neatly dresses in spring tones of grassy green and soft pink, like blossoms come to life.

As Kyle watched them, the woman beside him spoke up.

“Hey you. What’s your name?”

“Kyle.”

“What a lovely name. I’m Claudia. I run this place.”

She gently reached out and touched Kyle’s hair.

“Such beautiful blonde hair… like melted honey. And your eyes sparkle like jewels. You’re so very pretty. Just like the angels painted on church walls.”

Being called beautiful, pretty, it wasn’t a bad feeling. Claudia, it seemed, had a real eye for what was truly lovely.

“When I first saw you,” she went on, “I thought my little sister had come to visit. But I realized quickly that wasn’t it. My sister has the same golden hair, but her eyes are grey like mine. Besides, she’s only nine. She lives with my uncle in Parinié Village now. And you, Kyle where are you from? Ah, wait, don’t tell me.”

She raised her hand to his mouth, playful.

“I’ll guess. We’ve closed up shop and there’s nothing else to do, so keep me company, won’t you? Let’s see… Kyle, you’re the illegitimate child of the neighboring town’s lord. The lord already has a legitimate son, but he loved your mother deeply and wanted you to be his heir. The son found out and lured you into the forest to have you killed. But you barely escaped with your life, and now you’re on the run.”

Kyle couldn’t help but give a weak smile at the absurd tale.

“Hehe… I read a story like that once in a book Drella gave me. But the best part is how the illegitimate son ends up becoming a noble knight, respected even by the king, and marries a princess. Isn’t that just the happiest ending?”

Claudia, her eyes dreamy, suddenly sobered.

“But fairytales don’t matter much, do they? I’m no princess. So, Kyle… where did you really come from?”

He couldn’t very well say “Heaven,” so he settled for a vague “Far away.”

Claudia leaned over the table toward him.

“Far away… like Pigeon Village? Or maybe even farther, Parinié? I’ve never been past there, so I don’t know what kinds of towns or villages lie beyond…”

Kyle lowered his gaze, unable to answer.

“Something must have happened. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have come all this way, would you?”

Yes he was not here by choice. He wasn’t staying in a filthy brothel because he wanted to. He’d been betrayed and wounded by the demon, and drifted until he arrived in this town.

The wind had picked up outside, and the window frames rattled with a clatter. In this weather, it was impossible to go searching on foot, even if he managed to learn the name of the village where the demon lived. Besides, the sun was already setting. With his powers weakened, it was too dangerous to be out at night. As humiliating as it was, he had no choice tonight but to rely on this woman Claudia and ask to stay at the brothel.

Still, the thought of an angel staying in a brothel, the very stage of the deadly sin of lust was almost too much to bear. It was beginning to weigh on him, this miserable turn of events. When he fell from Heaven, his heart had been full of hope of love. He had believed he would be able to love the demon. Even if he bore the disgrace of being a fallen angel, the days they shared would be filled with joy.

“There’s no such thing as forever.”

He remembered the words that had broken him.

Suppose the rain stopped. Suppose it wasn’t night. Suppose that miserable little house was within walking distance. He would go to the demon, tell him he had been hurt because of him, and ask for shelter. The demon would be responsible for protecting him, at least until the wounds healed. Because it was the demon’s fault, after all.

But what would happen once the wounds were gone?

The demon was in love with a human. That meant Kyle would have to leave. And if he left, he’d be alone. Alone, with no love, carrying only the disgrace of being a fallen angel, crawling through the dirt of the mortal world. A wave of grief, of utter emptiness, crashed over him, and tears dripped steadily from both eyes.

“You’ve been through something terribly painful, haven’t you?”

He nodded.

Cool hands quietly reached out and held his right hand.

“My mother used to say something,” Claudia told him. “That when you speak of your pain, the one who listens takes on half of it. That’s why you should always be grateful to those who listen.”

She looked directly into Kyle’s eyes.

“Let me carry half of yours.”

A human, such a frail, foolish creature with barely seventy years to live couldn’t possibly carry the burden of his sorrow. And yet, somehow, he desperately wanted someone to hear his pathetic story.

“If you’re closing up, go to your room,” said Leda. “I’m turning off the lamps too. What a waste of oil… what a waste…”

She muttered to herself as she moved between the tables, collecting the lanterns. Claudia took Kyle by the hand and said, “Let’s go to my room,” leading him to a back room on the first floor.

The room was small, with earthen walls, and furnished only with a bed and a modest chest. There were no paintings, no reliefs on the walls. Kyle sat beside her on the bed, just as she’d invited him to.

“What happened?” she asked softly.

Her fingers brushed through his golden curls.

“What could have brought sadness to someone so beautiful?”

Her gentle words coaxed him into speaking.

“The one I loved told me they don’t love me anymore.”

“I see,” she said, her gray eyes acknowledging his pain. Kyle clenched both hands tightly.

“At first, he said he loved me. He said the only reason he even existed was to protect me. And yet now, after all this time, he tells me his heart belongs to someone else. Because I chose to love him, I was exiled from my home, my country and now I can never go back. I’ve ended up like this… in this pathetic state…”

Soft arms wrapped around him. Her warmth comforted him, and the words came pouring out faster.

"I didn't realize it was love at first. Even when he whispered he loved me, I didn't quite understand. It was only when I was alone that I finally understood his love was everything to me. That’s why I came back. And yet, he told me, ‘Love isn’t eternal. Go back to where you came from.’ But I can’t go back… not anymore."

"Poor Kyle. You were betrayed by the one you loved."

Yes, what the demon had done was betrayal. Even with his eyes tightly shut, fresh tears welled up at the corners.

"Being betrayed by someone you love is painful. But once you get through this, it’ll become easier. And as time goes by, you’ll be able to forget. It’ll turn into a good memory, and you’ll fall in love with someone else."

Still in her arms, Kyle echoed the word softly, "Forget…?"

"Yes, forget. Forget and let it go."

At that, Kyle jerked upright from her soft embrace.

"You want me to forget the love that made me give up everything?!"

His gray eyes stared straight into hers.

"Kyle, that love is already gone. What that person said, it’s painful, but it’s the truth. Love isn’t eternal. It’s something that’s born and fades away, like a bubble."

"It hasn’t disappeared. My love is right here. I still feel it, I still love him!"

When her hand gently stroked his cheek, Kyle’s shoulders flinched.

"You may still feel it, but it’s already vanished from their heart. Once love is gone, it never returns. Especially if they’ve found someone else to love. The kindest thing you can do for them now… is to forget."

"Shut up!" Kyle shouted, springing to his feet and throwing his arms wide.

"Don’t tell me what to do. Do you know what it took for me to finally accept his existence inside myself? I gave up everything for him, everything! I have nothing left!"

He couldn’t stay still. Frustrated, he began pacing the room, unable to stop. Claudia’s words clung to him like chains Love that’s vanished. Love that can never be fulfilled. Love that isn’t eternal…

"You didn’t give everything up for that person. You gave it up because you wanted to be by their side. You decided you didn’t care about losing your country or your status."

Kyle whipped around, sharply.

"Don’t put the blame on them. That was your choice."

A bolt of lightning seemed to strike through his mind. He began pacing even more furiously than before. I chose it myself… Yes, that was true. But still… but still… He turned to face her again. A human woman with light brown hair and gray eyes. A woman who sold her body to men, a woman who would never make it to heaven. You should’ve just nodded quietly while I spoke. So why would you say something to anger an angel?

"I started this job when I was fifteen. My parents were killed while we were traveling, and I was left with my little sister, who was only two. We were taken in by my uncle, but he already had children, and his family wasn’t well off… so I was sold."

Kyle swallowed hard, as though forcing something down his throat.

"The man who sold you… he’ll rot in hell."

The unfortunate woman laughed brightly, as if it were nothing.

"Hell? That’s a bit dramatic. In poor villages, it happens all the time. Sell one daughter, and a family of five might just survive the winter. It’s better for one person to be ‘sold’ than for everyone to starve to death."

"Still, to sell a person for money… that can never be justified. God would never forgive such a thing."

Claudia gently pushed back her still-damp hair. Her gray eyes lowered quietly.

“There are plenty of girls like me, sold off from poor villages just to survive. Our bodies became bread for others. One girl used to say that maybe that was the reason she was born. But I wonder… even if we did it to save our families, does that mean God still won’t forgive us? Or is it more virtuous for everyone to just starve to death instead?”

Even as those gray eyes stared straight at him, he couldn’t bring himself to respond.

Back when he was in the heavens, he had visited the human world many times for inspection. He knew of parents who sold their children to survive. And those kinds of people had been the first to be sent to Hell. He had never once questioned whether that was the right thing.

“They should’ve sold themselves instead of their daughters.”

“If they had done that, what would happen after the winter passed? Children can’t survive on their own.”

Humans had no choice but to die if they didn’t have food. It was simply what had to happen. But they went against their fates, they clung to life, struggled against it and in doing so, turned their backs on God’s teachings.

“The girl who said she’d become bread for others… she was very kind, but she was frail. She died less than two years after she came here. …I wonder why I’m telling you all this. Right, I’ve been doing this job since I was fifteen, and over the years there’ve been many who promised they loved me. There was even someone who swore he’d take me away from here, marry me but none of them ever kept their promises.”

Of course not. Words of love whispered to a brothel girl meant nothing beyond the moment. Who would leave behind their heart for a woman they only wanted for her body?

Because her own love had never come true, she now claimed love was never eternal. Lumping all forms of love into the same category, he found that deeply irritating.

Staring straight ahead, he offered no reply to the woman from the brothel. Claudia rose from the bed, came to kneel before him.

“I’m just so happy to talk to someone new, I’m sorry I ended up going on and on about myself. Two years ago, the madam here passed away, and since I was the oldest, the place was left to me. That’s why I can bend the rules a bit. If you can’t go back to the country you came from, then why not stay here? If you do the heavy lifting in Barton’s place, Leda won’t complain.”

“Shut up!”

The sudden shout made Claudia flinch, her shoulders jolting.

“I’m nothing like you. Hearing you talk disgusts me.”

She looked up at him with a gaze full of compassion and reached out, gently taking his hand. His mind spun. Why why was an angel being pitied by a prostitute?

“Get away from me. Don’t touch me!”

Perhaps she didn’t know how to deal with him anymore. Claudia stepped back from his side. She stood by the door, staring at him for a long moment, then quietly slipped out of the room.

He wasn’t like an angel. He was one. A true servant of God. The kind no human should ever lay eyes on while still alive.

The tiny window rattled. The wind outside howled like a flute, and heavy rain slammed against the glass panes. The violent storm mirrored the storm inside Kyle. He didn’t understand why he felt so shaken.

The door creaked open. He looked up, and Claudia was back, a small tray in her hands.

“Lamb soup and some bread. You must be hungry. Eating will help you feel better.”

He turned his face away from the offered tray. Food meant for humans would never nourish an angel or satisfy his hunger.

“I don’t want it.”

“No need to hold back. I cleaned out the room Barton used, so after you eat, you can rest there. We can talk more about work tomorrow.”

She pushed the tray closer as if trying to insist. The forcefulness of the gesture was beginning to grate on him.

“Kyle… You haven’t really eaten at all, have you?”

He shook off the hand that tried to hold his with a violent motion.

“Ah ”

The cup tipped over on the tray it had been knocked by an elbow. The lamb soup spilled entirely into the deep tray, and the bread floated on top of it, bobbing gently.

Regret hit immediately. Even if it had been pushy and overbearing, she had brought the food out of kindness. He had meant to say I'm sorry…, but before the words left his mouth, Kyle's eyes widened. Claudia was scooping up the spilled soup with her hands and drinking it. She even ate the bread soaked in soup without leaving a bite.

“Sorry for the bad manners.”

Claudia licked her soup-covered hands with her tongue.

“It just felt wasteful, that’s all. There are children dying because they have nothing to eat. If I waste food, I feel like God will scold me… Don’t worry, Kyle there’s still plenty left for you.”

“I don’t want it!”

Kyle let out a scream.

“I can’t eat anything.”

“It’s all right, you don’t have to hold back. I’ll bring more later.”

“No! Please, just leave me alone. I’m begging you.”

He grabbed his head in both hands and pleaded. Only when he rejected her desperately did Claudia finally give up trying to feed him.

That night, he spent the night in the room of the man who had run off with a prostitute. It was even smaller than Claudia’s room, and it had no windows. Without a candle, it would be pitch dark. On top of hunger, there was the musty bed that reeked of mold and the blanket that smelled of sweat. Compared to the downpour outside, he was grateful just to have dry clothes and a bed. Still, once he started noticing things, he couldn’t fall asleep.

In the long night, he thought. Is this what humans are really like? In a way, scooping up spilled soup with her hands wasn’t wrong, it showed respect for food. It wasn’t wrong, but where was her dignity as a person? That was no different than a beast. If it were me… he imagined himself in her place. No matter how wasteful it might feel, he wouldn’t drink it with his hands. Maybe if someone told him he would die instantly if he didn’t, he’d reconsider.

Humans are weak. They lack patience and are easily swayed. And yet such fragile creatures had dared to argue with angels. The memory alone made him angry again.

Tomorrow, he would go to the demon’s house. No matter how far it was, he could reach it in a day. He made up his mind and pulled the smelly blanket over his head. Just as he was about to fall asleep, the prostitute’s words drifted back into his mind, fragmented.

“Love isn’t eternal, it’s like a bubble, born and gone in an instant.”

Even if the demon’s love had vanished, his love hadn’t. He wanted to see him, to be held, to be by his side. Tomorrow, he would storm into that house and accuse him: You’re the reason I got hurt. It was the demon’s duty to protect him. But once he healed, would that demon say: Get out, all over again?

Imagining that scene made his chest ache as if it might burst. Even while he was suffering like this, the demon was probably out there, carelessly loving some human woman.

What a cruel fate… Drowning in that sea of heartache, he suddenly realized something. Back when he hadn’t yet understood his own feelings he had left the demon behind and returned to Heaven, even after hearing I love you, and You’re everything to me. Could it be that the demon had felt the same way? Were there nights when he had cried from the ache of longing?

And had someone told him to just forget, so he tried to love someone else? If the demon’s love never returned to him, what was he supposed to do then? In the darkness, Kyle lay motionless, listening vaguely to the sound of the wind shaking the building.

Previous TOC Next

Comments

Popular Posts

COLD HEART Series [Illustrated]

Rose Garden: Chapter 01

About Love [Illustrated]