Deep Breath: Chapter 2 - Part 8

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In the evening, they went to a nearby pub for dinner. They barely spoke while eating the pizza they had ordered. They were only eating because they were hungry; if Haruno had his way, he wouldn’t have left the flat at all.

When they stepped outside after the meal, the cold hit them hard, a stark contrast to the warmth inside the pub. Haruno shivered, and suddenly, Yachi took his hand. Despite being in public, despite being two men, despite the possibility of being seen by others in the apartment building, Haruno felt a surge of joy, thrilled by the simple act of holding hands.

In the small space of the elevator, they naturally leaned into each other. No one else got on, so Haruno was able to fully rest against Yachi. Once they returned to the flat, it was like they were in their own world. As soon as the door closed behind them, they embraced and kissed. The kiss made Haruno want more, just like before they went out. Yachi must have felt the same because he led Haruno to the bedroom. They undressed each other and, like animals that only knew how to have sex, they clung to each other, naked.

Even without being physically connected, they enjoyed caressing each other, kissing, and cuddling—playfully entwining like kittens. Yachi mentioned that Haruno’s expression softened without his glasses, so he stopped wearing them in bed. He didn’t need them to see up close, and he wanted to be the version of himself that Yachi liked.

Yachi also admitted that he had noticed Haruno’s gaze on him. Laughing, he said he had been “overwhelmed by the heat” in Haruno’s eyes. When Haruno woke up from a doze, Yachi was reading a book by the light of the bedside lamp. He hadn’t noticed Haruno waking up. Jealous of Yachi’s attention being on something other than him, Haruno reached out his hand and deliberately placed it in front of the book, obstructing his view.

"You're awake?" Yachi asked with a gentle smile. Haruno snuggled closer to him, prompting Yachi to slip a bookmark into his book and set it on the bedside table. Haruno then playfully nibbled on Yachi’s earlobe. Though Yachi squirmed as if it tickled, he didn’t tell Haruno to stop, so he continued, enjoying himself.

They ended up tumbling into bed together, kissing, embracing, and being embraced in return. Haruno licked Yachi’s lips, silently asking for more kisses, and pressed his hips against him, seeking touch.

Usually, after climaxing, the heat and desire would quickly fade, but Yachi was different. Even without sex, Haruno wanted to stay close to him. Being near Yachi was like a drug, breaking down something inside Haruno. He never imagined that he would become so attached, almost like the spoiled cat in Yachi’s home.

His phone was left in the living room, his laptop in the desk drawer, and he hadn’t even checked his emails. He didn’t care about the company he was taking a break from or the work he had left behind. All that mattered was being with Yachi, in this comfortable space. He didn’t want anyone to interrupt them.

"This place smells like you," Yachi murmured, stroking Haruno’s cheek as they lay together.

"What do you mean?"

"The bed over there only smelled like clean sheets."

Yachi made a gesture as if to take a deep breath. Just the thought of Yachi smelling the sheets where his scent lingered made Haruno’s chest flutter.

"Have you been reading any books?" Yachi asked, half his face buried in the sheets, looking up at Haruno with a sultry gaze that made Haruno want to hit him out of frustration at how effortlessly sexy he was.

"No."

"Why not? You used to read so much."

"Because I have no one to borrow them from."

Yachi responded with a simple "Ah."

"Should I send you some from Japan?"

"No, it's fine. There are bookstores here where I can buy Japanese books."

"Don’t hesitate to ask."

Haruno hesitated for a moment before deciding there was no point in hiding the truth any longer.

"I’m not really into books. I only read those mystery novels because I needed an excuse to visit your house."

Yachi fell silent, making Haruno anxious. Did he think Haruno was sneaky for using that as an approach?

"Can I ask you something?"

Haruno’s heart skipped a beat. What would he ask? He was a little scared.

"When did you start liking me?"

His face grew hot. When Haruno didn’t answer, Yachi asked again, "When?"

"Since I was at Marshalls."

He answered softly.

"Love at first sight?"

When Haruno looked at Yachi’s face to see his expression, he found that Yachi was completely serious.

"No. It was around six months… maybe a year after I started working there that I began to notice you."

Why did it feel like he was the only one confessing everything? Haruno pulled the sheets over his head and curled up.

"Haruno-san?"

Yachi’s hand stroked his back through the sheets.

"Why are you hiding? Come out… Was it embarrassing?"

Do I really have to explain everything?

"…I want to kiss you, so come out."

Haruno felt as if honey were about to seep out of every pore, so sweet were Yachi’s words. When he finally poked his head out from under the sheets, he found that Yachi’s face had turned red. Their eyes met, and Yachi quickly turned away, flustered.

"Forget what I just said… It wasn’t like me."

Yachi tried to get out of bed, but Haruno grabbed his right hand.

"Didn’t you say you’d kiss me if I did what you asked?"

Still red-faced, Yachi hesitantly moved closer to Haruno and planted a light kiss on his lips.

"Just once?"

Haruno whined for more, and Yachi kissed him again, gently.

They kissed over and over again. Even after a hundred kisses, it wasn’t enough. Haruno wanted to keep kissing, endlessly, and as long as he asked for more, they kept kissing, completely lost in the moment.

:-::-:

When Haruno woke up, Yachi was no longer beside him. He reached out to feel the sheets around him, but they were cold. It had been a while since Yachi had gotten out of bed. Haruno wrapped himself in a robe and left the room. Yachi wasn’t in the living room or the bathroom. Maybe he had gone back to the guest bedroom after Haruno fell asleep? It was Yachi’s choice where he slept, but Haruno couldn’t help feeling a bit lonely.

Without knocking, Haruno opened the door to the guest bedroom. Yachi slowly turned to look at him, wearing a gray sweater and jeans. Was he going out? For the past few days, they had barely worn proper clothes except when going out to eat.

Without saying a word, Yachi beckoned Haruno over. As Haruno approached, Yachi pulled him into his lap, embracing him. The familiar warmth and scent of Yachi made Haruno feel safe.

"I’m in trouble… I don’t want to go back."

Yachi’s fingers gently combed through Haruno’s hair. At Yachi’s feet was a Duffle bag. The days and nights spent together in a feverish haze had blurred Haruno’s sense of time. How many days had it been since Yachi arrived?

"You can stay in this room forever if you want," Haruno suggested.

Yachi gave a wry smile, but Haruno was half-serious. He really wanted Yachi to stay there with him. As long as Yachi stayed, Haruno didn’t need anything else.

“I have to leave soon,” Yachi said as he gently played with Haruno’s fingers like a toy.

“When I go back, are you going to sleep with someone else?” Yachi asked quietly, looking up at him. If Yachi gave him the attention he needed, Haruno wouldn’t need anyone else. Did Yachi not realize how deeply he had fallen for him?

“Oh, but…” Haruno hesitated.

“What?” Yachi asked, sensing Haruno’s hesitation.

“Give me the business card. The one from the publisher. If you do, I won’t sleep with anyone else,” Haruno said.

Yachi, looking a bit skeptical, pulled the card from his coat pocket, which was folded on the bed, and handed it to Haruno. Without even glancing at the name on it, Haruno flipped it over, crumpled it up, and tossed it into the trash bin by the bedside.

Yachi looked a bit stunned as Haruno cupped his cheek and kissed him. Yachi responded, and Haruno wanted to continue, but Yachi still had enough self-control to keep them from undressing.

“I really have to go,” Yachi said, torn but determined. Haruno slowly stood up from Yachi’s lap.

“I’ll take you to the airport,” he offered.

Back in his room, Haruno dressed and then left the flat with Yachi. Haruno suggested taking a taxi, but Yachi declined, so they took the subway together. The train rattled along, and Haruno felt a weight on his shoulder. When he turned, he saw that Yachi had fallen asleep, resting his head on Haruno’s shoulder. The warmth of Yachi’s head against him was comforting, making him feel as if they were still alone together in their bedroom. It made his head feel foggy, and it didn’t seem real that Yachi was leaving.

Haruno, hidden behind Yachi’s Duffle bag, reached out and held Yachi’s hand. He laced his fingers with Yachi’s, who remained asleep. Haruno held his hand until they reached the airport.

At the airport, Yachi wanted to buy some souvenirs, so Haruno accompanied him.

“What kind of gift would be good?” Yachi asked.

“Is it for a man or a woman?” Haruno inquired.

“A man, around your age,” Yachi replied.

Men might not appreciate sweets as much, and while high-quality tea was abundant, coffee seemed like a better option for a man. As they browsed the store, Haruno spotted a scarf. It wasn’t a brand name, but it was cashmere and felt nice to the touch. The colors were varied, and the muted sea-blue one caught Haruno’s eye. He liked it so much he considered buying it for himself.

“How about this? It’s a safe choice,” Haruno suggested.

Yachi picked up a few scarves and asked, “Which color do you think would be best?”

“What kind of clothes does he usually wear?” Haruno asked.

“He wears a lot of black,” Yachi said.

Haruno considered adding a pop of color but ultimately recommended the muted blue one he liked. Yachi bought it.

They spent more time shopping than they realized, and they hurried to the check-in counter. After checking in, Yachi returned to Haruno.

“When are you coming back to Japan?” Yachi asked.

“Probably after the New Year,” Haruno replied.

“That’s still a while away,” Yachi said, his expression tinged with sadness, making Haruno’s chest tighten.

“I’ll write to you. And call too,” Haruno added.

Yachi’s expression softened, and he nodded. “Okay.”

“I should go now,” Yachi said, then handed Haruno the bag he had just bought at the souvenir shop.

“Isn’t this a souvenir?” Haruno asked.

“Well, I… I wanted to give you something, but I couldn’t pick it out myself,” Yachi said, his face turning slightly red.

Haruno hadn’t expected this and wasn’t sure how to react. Yachi touched Haruno’s cheek, pulled him close, and gave him a light kiss before embracing him.

“Sorry for doing this here,” Yachi apologized.

Haruno shook his head slightly, indicating it was okay.

Yachi gave a small, embarrassed smile and said, “I’m too old to be acting this giddy.”

With that, Yachi quickly passed through the gate, giving Haruno a small wave before disappearing from view.

Haruno stood there, dazed, unable to leave. He wouldn’t see Yachi’s face again, yet he couldn’t bring himself to leave the airport while Yachi was still somewhere inside.

Finally, he sat on a bench in the lobby and pulled the scarf out of the bag. He still liked the color and feel of it. When he wrapped it around his neck, it was pleasantly warm.

As Haruno searched for a place to get some coffee, he caught a glimpse of himself wearing the blue scarf in a window reflection and stopped in his tracks. The color suited him well.

“Yachi…” Haruno started to say, turning to seek agreement, but then he remembered—Yachi had already passed through the boarding gate. He wasn’t there anymore.

Haruno pressed his hand to his forehead. They had spent so much time together in the past few days that he hadn’t had to look back to find Yachi there. That feeling had become second nature.

He bought a coffee and sat down in the café, suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to see Yachi’s face again. The boarding process must have started by now. As he kept checking the time, the departure time passed. International flights were often delayed, so there was a chance Yachi was still in the airport.

Then Haruno remembered—he hadn’t paid Yachi back for the entrance fee to the Tower of London or their meals.

It was too late to do anything about it now, but it nagged at him, so he returned to the lobby one last time. The name of Yachi’s flight had already disappeared from the board, indicating it had taken off. All the energy drained from Haruno’s body, and he slumped into a chair.

“Boss?”

Startled, Haruno looked up.

“It is you, Boss. It’s good to see you!” Imran greeted him with a smile.

Imran squinted his eyes and smiled warmly. “Where did you go during your vacation?”

Haruno felt disoriented, as if he had been living in another world with Yachi, and now suddenly, he was faced with someone from his reality.

“Oh, just dropped off a friend,” Haruno answered.

“And you?” he asked.

“I was in Dublin, visiting my cousin,” Imran said, shrugging.

“Is the friend you’re talking about the one you forgot to give the key to?” Imran asked.

Haruno remembered that Imran had met Yachi. “Yes, that’s right,” he said, slowly remembering his professional persona.

Imran chuckled. “Speaking of which, did you eat the fish dish he made for you that day?”

Haruno was surprised by how much Imran knew but responded with a simple, “Yes.”

“That’s great,” Imran said, his eyes narrowing in laughing lines. “He was really worried because he said you’ve lost weight since your time in Japan. But he couldn’t afford to take you to a nice restaurant, so he wondered if he could make something you’d like himself.”

Haruno suddenly recalled how Yachi had been particularly insistent about him eating different foods…

“I thought all Japanese tourists were rich, so I was a bit surprised. But he’s such a down-to-earth and kind person. I really like him,” Imran added.

Haruno couldn’t remember the details of his conversation with Imran. The next thing he knew, he was swaying in the train on his way home, the atmosphere distinctly different from when he had traveled to the airport earlier.

When Haruno returned to his flat and opened the door, he immediately felt that something was different. It was still his usual room, yet it felt somehow off.

He sat on the sofa and looked around. There was no one there, nothing there. Of course, there wouldn’t be. The silence was oppressive, and unable to bear it, Haruno went back outside. But he had nowhere to go.

Wandering aimlessly, he eventually found himself by the riverside. He bought a piece of bread from a street vendor and sat on a bench by the river to eat it. He bought it because it was the same bread that Yachi had eaten, but his throat tightened with emotion, and he couldn’t manage a single bite.

Haruno tore the bread into small pieces and tossed them to the pigeons that had gathered around. The pigeons swarmed around as long as there was food, but once it was gone, they all flew away.

As it grew darker, Haruno slowly got up and returned to his flat. The room was still painfully quiet, the silence pressing in on his ears. Feeling parched, he wondered if there was at least some mineral water left and opened the fridge, only to be startled by what he found. It was packed with food, more than he’d ever seen before.

The fridge was filled with things that were mostly ready to eat—fruits, cheese, processed foods. There was no magical elf that would have stocked his fridge, so it had to be Yachi’s doing.

Haruno took out an apple and washed it under the tap. He bit into it without peeling the skin, and the sweet-sour taste of the fruit spread through his mouth.

He knew why he had reached for the apple first. In bed, Yachi had fed him apple slices many times. Suddenly, Haruno felt something wet trickling down his cheek, and he was surprised to find tears streaming down his face. They kept coming, no matter how much he tried to stop them, as if his chest were being eaten away from the inside.

“Wait... hold on...”

He didn’t understand why he was crying. His legs gave out, and he collapsed onto the floor as the half-eaten apple rolled away across the floor.

When the tears finally began to subside, he lifted his head and noticed the light blue scarf around his neck. Just thinking about Yachi’s shy, blushing face when he gave it to him brought a fresh wave of tears.

The reality of Yachi’s absence slowly seeped into him. Yachi had only been there for six days, but it had changed Haruno’s entire world. He hated it. He didn’t know what to do with these feelings.

It took Haruno a little time to realize that what he was feeling was love.

THE END – MAIN STORY

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