Cold Light - Chapter 1 - Part 4

The content warning is in the footnotes⁰.

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Spring arrived after the first winter with Tohru, and Fujishima became a third-year high school student, while Tohru entered his sixth year of elementary school. One day, while cleaning out his closet, Fujishima found an indigo-dyed kimono he had worn as a child. When he unfolded it, he realized it was now too short for him. Out of curiosity, he tried it on Tohru, and it fit perfectly, as if made for him. Tohru, delighted with his first experience of wearing a kimono, ran around the room in excitement.

"That's called a Nagiryuu, an indigo-dyed kimono. My father’s company makes them," Fujishima explained.

Tohru stared at the kimono and murmured, “It’s the color of the end of the night.”

Fujishima tilted his head, puzzled.

“Before the night ends, the sky turns this color,” Tohru said. “I want to wear this to a festival.”

It seems like Tohru really liked the kimono and didn't want to take it off. He jumped onto the bed and started reading one of Fujishima’s books, sitting with his right knee up in a sloppy posture. Fujishima was taken aback by the sight. Even though they bathed together every day and Fujishima was used to seeing Tohru naked, he couldn't help but be drawn to the boy's slender thighs peeking out from under the kimono. He felt a strange sensation, as if he was seeing Tohru in a new light. Fujishima quickly sat down at his desk and opened his textbook, trying to focus. But he couldn't shake off the feeling that he sometimes got when looking at Tohru - a feeling that was similar to when he used to be obsessed with a certain magazine idol.

Fujishima's face grew hot, and he felt a sudden surge of arousal. He tried to calm himself down by concentrating on math formulas, but it wasn't until Tohru suddenly wrapped his arms around his neck that he felt his heart skip a beat.

"When you're done, help me study." Tohru said, his voice innocent.

Fujishima caught a whiff of shampoo and remembered that they had just bathed together. He quickly stood up, trying to compose himself, and told Tohru that he needed to use the bathroom. Once inside, he couldn't resist the urge to masturbate, his mind filled with thoughts of Tohru's thighs and the feeling of the boy's arms around his neck. After ejaculating twice, Fujishima felt a pang of guilt and wondered if there was something wrong with him. He had never felt this way before, and the thought of being attracted to a young boy was terrifying.

Fujishima started to cry, feeling scared and unsure of what to do. He considered talking to his mother and going to the hospital, but he knew that would mean confessing his feelings about Tohru. He was afraid of how his mother would react, and the thought of being scolded for breaking the rules was unbearable.

After crying for a while, Fujishima calmed down and decided to return to the room. When he opened the door, Tohru ran up to him, but instead of clinging to him as usual, he looked up at Fujishima with concern.

"Are you okay?" Tohru asked.

Fujishima forced a smile and said, "Y-yeah, I'm fine. My stomach just hurt a bit, but it's better now."

As Tohru looked up at him with worried eyes, Fujishima felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He couldn't believe he had been having such thoughts about Tohru, and he felt like he wanted to punish himself for it.

"Should I go tell Tamaki and get some medicine?" Tohru said.

He almost reached out to pat his small, endearing head but stopped himself just in time, pulling his hand back and lightly clenching it.

" Thank you. But I’m really okay now," Fujishima replied, and forced a smile.

"Sorry for scaring you," he said, but before he could finish, Tohru had already clung to his stomach. Fujishima's heart skipped a beat as he felt a sudden surge of arousal.

“I’ll pray that it doesn’t hurt anymore.” He chanted in a high-pitched voice, “Pain, pain, go away…”.

Fujishima's body trembled as he tried to push Tohru away, but the boy's warmth and softness only made him more excited.

"Thanks," Fujishima said, trying to compose himself, and Tohru smiled back at him.

When Fujishima woke up in the middle of the night, he was too shocked to even make a sound. His pajamas were wet with an unmistakable mess. Even after changing, he was too scared to get back into his bed. Next to him, the person he had been toying with in his dreams was sleeping peacefully, breathing gently. Fujishima sat down at his study desk and slumped forward, holding his head in his hands. Still, the steady breathing echoed in his ears. In the end, he couldn’t sleep a wink that night.

The more he tried to suppress it, the more his fantasies escalated and became more vivid. He dreamed of holding Tohru in his arms almost every night. The time they used to spend bathing together, which had once meant nothing to him, now terrified him. He had to make sure to ejaculate in the bathroom beforehand, or else he’d get an erection just from seeing Tohru’s naked body. His mind couldn’t keep up with the direct response of his body, and he cried many times, feeling sad about how abnormal he was as he wrung out his desires with his fingertips.

But humans can get used to anything. After two or three months of this, Fujishima’s senses gradually became numb. Although he still felt guilty, he no longer cried over it. On the contrary, unable to resist his desire, Fujishima quietly kissed Tohru on the lips after he had fallen asleep. Their lips touched, overcoming the taboo of being one boy and a child, and he was so excited that he trembled.

Driven by desire, he had touched Tohru. Even though he knew it was wrong, Fujishima couldn't push Tohru away. He wanted to keep Tohru by his side all day, even take him to school if it were allowed, so there was no way he could distance himself. Though he knew it would be better for Tohru if he stayed away, Fujishima couldn't bear to be alone. He longed for the pure and innocent presence that adored him.

Summer, a season that had been consumed by delusions, passed, and autumn arrived. On that day, Fujishima submitted his final career path preference form to his homeroom teacher. However, even after submitting it, he regretted that he had decided, as his mother suggested, to pursue economics at a prestigious national university.

His mother was convinced that her son would study economics and eventually inherit the Fujishima family business. She never doubted it for a moment. Until middle school, Fujishima had thought the same. But when he entered high school, he developed a deep interest in literature, which had initially been just a way to pass the time during breaks.

In literature, he found a world unknown to him, full of loving families and romantic partners. As he read on, filled with admiration and envy, he discovered the joy of deeply exploring the essence of a work. It wasn’t just about getting high scores on tests—he learned, for the first time, what it meant to be truly interested in learning. Even though he knew what he wanted to study, he couldn’t bring himself to tell his mother that he wanted to major in literature. He knew it would mean defying her wishes, and he had a good idea of how she would react. After a long struggle, Fujishima made a decision. He would ask to major in literature in college. However, he would promise that after graduation, he would have nothing more to do with literature and would study management to take over his father's company.

Fujishima took a gamble on the slightest chance. The night before the career path preference form was due, he mustered up the courage to talk to his mother, who was relaxing in the living room after dinner with a cup of coffee. He told her that he wanted to major in literature instead of economics. He explained his reasons and also mentioned that he would study management after graduation. His mother listened quietly until Fujishima had said everything he wanted to say and breathed a sigh of relief. Then she smiled gently.

"You can read books as a hobby."

With that, her gaze returned to the magazine she was holding. When Fujishima tried to argue, saying, "But...," his mother shot him a sharp look.

"Can’t you listen to what I say?"

Her stern voice sent a shiver down his spine. All he could do was murmur "No..." under his breath, unable to continue speaking.

Whenever he gave up on something he loved, the process was always the same. It was like a fire that would eventually burn out and turn to ash unless more fuel, in the form of possibilities, was added. But this time, the fire wouldn’t go out. Fujishima kept telling himself that he had to give up on his chosen path, that there was no other way. Up until the very moment he submitted the form, and even after, the unfulfilled hope tormented him.

That day, Tohru stayed close to him, hardly speaking. Sensing Fujishima’s low spirits, it seemed like Tohru was trying to be considerate in his own way, which made Fujishima happy.

As Fujishima lay in bed, he couldn't sleep, so he decided to read a book. The dim light of the lamp cast a warm glow on Tohru's face, and Fujishima couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for the boy. He thought that even if he couldn't pursue his dream, he couldn't bear to let Tohru go. Tohru was always there for him, comforting him when he was lonely, and loving him unconditionally.

As Fujishima stroked Tohru's hair, an overwhelming emotion surged within him. Tohru murmured softly, turning over in his sleep. His arm, still tanned from the summer, lay exposed on the sheets. It was a result of spending almost every day at the school pool during the vacation.

That summer, the two of them also went to a festival together. Until then, Fujishima had never gone to a festival with anyone other than his mother. She had always forbidden him from going with friends or alone, fearing the presence of bad people at such events. That night, his mother had dressed up beautifully and gone out. Once she was gone, Fujishima and Tohru, with Tamaki’s help, sneaked out of the house, both wearing indigo-dyed kimonos.

Tohru was ecstatic, pulling Fujishima by the hand as they moved closer to the brightly lit stalls, peeking through the crowds to see what was on display. Fujishima felt bad that he couldn’t buy anything for Tohru, but he wasn’t given a regular allowance either. After some thought, he decided to sell a few of his books at a secondhand bookstore, earning around a thousand yen. With that money, they bought ice cream and tried their hand at the goldfish scooping game. The stall owner asked them, "Are you two brothers?" Tohru had beamed with joy and nodded enthusiastically, saying, "Yes."

Nothing particularly special happened that night. But it was simply fun.

Right now, I want to take in every part of the adorable boy sleeping beside me. I want all of him—I want this child. The desire rising from my lower body is staining my mind and heart black. Fujishima leaned over Tohru, brushing his dry lips with the tip of his tongue. Once the taboo was broken, everything happened so quickly. After sucking on the boy's lips, he roughly pulled up the top of his pajamas. His fingertips grazed the small, pale-colored buds. Even when the boy squirmed and opened his eyes slightly, Fujishima didn’t stop.

"What are you…"

Tohru, now awake, flailed his arms and legs in confusion.

"Be a good boy..."

Suppressing his rising breath, Fujishima soothed Tohru.

"You’re a good boy, just stay still..."

He pulled down the pajamas along with the underwear, exposing the smooth groin and the small, still immature genitals, which stirred a fierce lust in him. When he pinched the tip with his right hand, Tohru shook his hips in protest.

"Stop, don’t touch me!"

"Just a little bit…"

Suddenly, Fujishima felt a strong impact on his abdomen and tumbled off the bed. Clutching his stomach, he curled up on the floor. When the pain subsided, he finally looked up to see the young boy trembling on the bed. Tohru clutched the waistband of his pajamas tightly, his face tense, his body quivering. The moment Fujishima saw tears drop from those wide-open eyes, he finally realized the gravity of the crime he had committed.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

As Fujishima approached, Tohru backed away from him, looking scared.

"I won't do it again, I promise. I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Like a cat, Tohru swiftly jumped off the bed, slipped past Fujishima, and bolted out of the room. The door slammed shut with a loud noise, and the sound of small footsteps grew distant. He wanted to chase after him, but he couldn't even stand properly. The lingering remnants of the terrifying impulse that had overtaken him still burned in his groin.

What a disgusting person I am, Fujishima cursed himself. If he ends up hating me, if that boy ends up hating me, I don’t know what I'll do anymore.

As Fujishima sat there in a daze, he heard a knock at the door. Thinking it was Tohru, he hurriedly ran to the door. But standing in the hallway wasn't the young boy he had hoped for.

"I heard someone running in the hallway just now. Was that you?"

It was his mother, dressed in a gown, her expression stern with a frown between her brows. Instinctively, he responded, "No."

His mother nodded and said, "Alright then, that’s fine. Goodnight.”

His mother returned to her room without further inquiry. Left alone, Fujishima sat by the bed, hugging his knees, his whole body consumed by regret. No matter how much he regretted it, he couldn’t undo what he had done. That’s why, even if it meant being scolded or groveling, he had to get Tohru to forgive him.

If Tohru would forgive him, he would do anything. He would never touch Tohru again if that’s what it took, but he wanted Tohru to stay by his side. Tohru was the first person he had ever chosen for himself. Even if it had been circumstantial, he had chosen Tohru because he wanted him. He was something irreplaceable, something worth defying his mother for. No matter what happened, he couldn't lose Tohru. When Fujishima finally reached this clear realization, the night was already breaking into dawn.

In the morning, Fujishima left for school as usual. As he stepped through the gate, his heavy eyelids, weighed down by lack of sleep, blinked, and he looked up at the northern separate annex, feeling a painful tug at his heart. Today was the day of his mother’s social dance class, so she wouldn’t be home that night. He could go to the separate annex where Tohru was and apologize.

Even at school, all he could think about was how to apologize to Tohru, and whether Tohru would forgive him. He couldn’t focus on his studies at all. After school, Fujishima’s steps quickened as he headed home. It would have been best to wait until after his mother had left, but he couldn’t wait that long. Walking along the long wall of the Fujishima residence, he entered the garden through the northern side gate, which was closer to the separate annex.

As he rounded the garden, wondering if Tohru had returned from school, he suddenly noticed the smell of burning and the crackling sound of something popping. He looked and saw gray smoke rising from beyond the bushes. Thinking there might be a fire, Fujishima rushed toward the source of the smoke, only to be struck by the sight and sound before him.

On the lawn, something was burning. On the other side of the flames stood his mother, violently striking something small at her feet with the bamboo broom that Tamaki used for garden cleaning. When Fujishima realized that the small, curled-up figure was Tohru, he leaped out in front of the two of them.

'What are you doing, Mother?!'"

The mother, with her hair disheveled, was frantically beating the small back in front of her, unable to hear her son's voice. Fujishima clung desperately to her right hand.

"Please, stop!"

With her right hand restrained, the mother finally came back to her senses. Her eyes widened, and she wiped the sweat from her forehead before letting out a sigh.

"Oh, Keishi, you're home."

She brushed back her messy hair and, as if the demonic expression she had just moments before was a lie, smiled sweetly.

"Don't just stand there, come inside the house."

"But..."

"Can't you listen to what I'm saying?"

She shouted hysterically. Her beautiful face instantly transformed into a menacing expression, and her glaring eyes bore into Fujishima. The vivid memory of being slapped and punished during middle school came rushing back, making his body tremble.

The child who had been crouching on the ground lifted his face, and their eyes met. In an instant, Tohru darted towards Fujishima like a frightened cat and clung to his stomach.

"Big brother, big brother..."

His face, likely struck as well, was red and swollen, and blood was oozing from the corner of his lips. Seeing his pitiful state, Fujishima embraced his small shoulders. At that moment, a scream came from their mother. Tohru was torn away from Fujishima's arms by their mother's hand and thrown to the ground.

"Don't touch Keishi with your filthy hands. What do you mean, 'big brother'? Keishi is not your brother!"

She screamed, wildly beating Tohru with a broom. The madness radiating from his mother was so terrifying... Fujishima couldn't even speak. He knew he had to save Tohru, but his body wouldn't move. The memories of his own punishments were deeply entangled in his legs, keeping him rooted in place.

After Tohru stopped making any noise, his mother finally exhaled deeply.

"Last night, I heard footsteps in the middle of the night. I thought it was strange, so I checked this child's room, and I found a lot of your belongings and the key to the back door. This child is a thief who has been sneaking into the mansion using the key and stealing various things from your room."

Amidst the roaring flames, the clothes and books that Keishi had given to Tohru because he no longer needed them crackled and burned fiercely.

"I didn't steal them. Big brother gave them to me. That's why..."

Tohru shouted, but his mother struck his head with the bamboo broom.

"There's no way Keishi would give anything to someone like you!"

Tohru, holding his head, looked up at Fujishima.

"Big brother, help me. Please, help me..."

Caught between Tohru's pleading and his mother's demonic expression, Fujishima stood frozen, unable to do anything. He knew he had to tell the truth—that those things were given by him and that Tohru didn't steal them. If he didn't prove Tohru's innocence, the boy would be labeled a thief and would continue to be beaten.

"Keishi, you haven't been secretly involved with this child behind my back, have you?"

Suspicion gleamed in his mother's eyes, and Fujishima stiffened. Her gaze pierced through him like a snake's, rendering him speechless. His silence was taken as Tohru’s admission of guilt, and with a triumphant expression, the mother kicked Tohru.

"See? Keishi doesn't know anything about you. You're nothing but a big liar!"

Tohru's eyes widened in disbelief. The sound of the bamboo broom striking the child resumed. Tears slowly welled up in Fujishima's eyes. Even as he clenched his teeth and looked down, his body trembled uncontrollably.

"M...Mom... Mom, please stop."

Mustering all his courage, he pleaded in a barely audible voice. The mother stopped hitting and turned around.

"Please, I beg you, stop. He's so small... he really might die."

The mother walked over to Fujishima and gently stroked her son's cheek with her reddened fingertips.

"Keishi, you’re such a kind boy. I understand how you feel, so go to your room now."

"Pl... please, promise not to hit Tohru anymore..."

"I said, go to your room!"

She grabbed the unsteady Fujishima by the hand, dragging him to the back door. She then disappeared once more into the overgrown garden. Fujishima rushed inside the house and clung to Tamaki, who was preparing dinner in the kitchen, begging her to stop his mother.

After hearing the story, Tamaki dashed out to the garden. Fujishima restlessly paced around the kitchen. Even after a long time, Tamaki didn’t return, and though he was worried about Tohru and wanted to check on him, he was too afraid of provoking his mother's wrath to go outside. With a sudden thought, he ran upstairs and cautiously looked out the window of the usually unused northern guest room. All he saw were the smoldering remnants of burned clothes and books—there was no one around.

Even when it was time for dinner, Fujishima didn’t go down to the living room. Facing his mother at the dinner table would mean being questioned about his relationship with Tohru, and that terrified him. When his mother came to call him, he stayed under the covers and lied, saying, "I’m not hungry." His mother entered the room and, with her usual calm demeanor, said, "I’ll have Tamaki bring you something light. You can eat here tonight." Her normalcy only made the situation more unsettling.

Later that night, after making sure his mother's car had left through the gate, Fujishima ventured out into the garden. As he approached the detached building and was about to knock on the door, he noticed a heavy padlock on the outside. With that, Tohru wouldn’t be able to leave freely... It was undoubtedly his mother’s doing.

He cautiously knocked on the iron door, a remnant of the old storehouse, but there was no response.

"Tohru, it’s me. Are you inside?"

Pressing his ear to the door, he could hear faint sounds.

"I’m sorry for today. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you."

Fujishima hung his head in front of the door.

"It must have hurt when you were hit. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Does it still hurt? Are you hurt?"

A faint voice mumbled something.

"I can’t hear you. Speak up."

"Liar!"

The shout shook Fujishima to his core.

"Liar, liar, liar! You gave me those books and clothes, didn’t you? I never even asked for them, but you said you’d give them to me! Even the key—you gave it to me and told me to come in with it. And then you didn’t say anything! You made me the bad guy!"

"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry..."

It felt like needles were piercing his chest.

"Idiot! You should just die!"

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry..."

"I’ll never forgive you. You traitor!"

He couldn’t even defend himself. The truth was, he was so scared of his mother’s anger that he said nothing, letting all the blame fall on Tohru. Knowing Tohru couldn’t see him, Fujishima knelt in front of the door, apologizing, but after Tohru screamed "Traitor," he never spoke to him again.

How long had he been sitting in front of the storehouse? By the time his entire body was chilled by the cool autumn night air, he heard the sound of a car coming from the gate. Realizing his mother had returned, Fujishima quickly muttered, "I’m sorry for today. Good night," and rushed back into the house. Even after returning to his room, he couldn’t stop worrying about Tohru, wondering if he was in pain or crying alone.

Being beaten repeatedly on his small body... just recalling that scene brought tears to his eyes. Tohru was right. He deserved to be cursed at. To protect himself, he had said nothing. He had exposed the weak Tohru to his insane mother. Why couldn’t he stop his mother? Why couldn’t he protect that child? Tohru hadn’t done anything wrong, yet...

Fujishima deeply regretted his inability to act in front of his mother. He was ashamed of his cowardice and hated himself for being too weak to protect the one thing he truly cared about. But no matter how much he regretted it now, there was no way to regain Tohru’s trust.

The next day, Fujishima went to the separate annex when his mother wasn’t around and continued to apologize under the padlock. But Tohru never responded. Whenever he went, he noticed the door was always locked from the outside, so he asked Tamaki about it, but she only replied curtly, "The keys are managed by the mistress," and said nothing more.

Fujishima realized that talking at home was impossible, so he decided to go to Tohru’s elementary school, hoping to see him there. But after waiting for a week, he still couldn’t catch Tohru. Perhaps he knew Fujishima was waiting and was avoiding him.

It was a chilly evening, with the sky covered in gray clouds. As the rain started to fall, Fujishima sought shelter under the eaves of a nearby convenience store. Just then, an elementary school student, who looked like a middle schooler without his backpack, ran under the same eave.

"Are you in sixth grade?"

The boy turned around with a suspicious look on his face, clearly wary of strangers.

"Oh, um, I know a kid who goes to that school. He’s in sixth grade and his name is Tohru Takahisa. Do you know him?"

"...I know him. He’s in the class next door."

The boy muttered.

"You wouldn’t know if he’s still in class... I came to pick him up."

"He’s been absent."

Fujishima asked again, "What?"

"He’s in the class next to mine, so we have gym together, but he wasn’t there today either. A classmate said he’s been absent for a while."

Tohru wasn’t going to school... Fujishima had a bad feeling. The next day was Saturday, and Fujishima spent the whole day watching the separate annex from the second-floor window, but there was no sign that food had been brought to Tohru even once.

That night, after his mother had gone to bed, Fujishima went to Tamaki’s room. He confronted her, who had just removed her makeup and was blinking sleepily, "Why aren’t you feeding Tohru?"

"Feeding him?"

"You didn’t bring him any food in the separate annex today!"

Tamaki glanced around cautiously before whispering, "Young master, please don’t speak so loudly. Voices carry in the hallways at night. Come in, please..."

Urged inside, Fujishima stepped into the room. After closing the door, Tamaki offered him a chair. She placed tea leaves in the small teapot on the side table and poured hot water over them.

"The boy isn’t in the separate annex right now. But he’s fine, so there’s no need to worry."

She handed him a cup of tea. Tamaki’s calm demeanor gradually eased Fujishima’s agitation, making him suddenly embarrassed by his emotional outburst.

"I’m sorry for yelling like that..."

"No need," Tamaki shook her head.

"Where is Tohru now?"

"...I don’t know."

"But you just said he’s fine."

Tamaki fell silent.

"When will he come back?"

"I don’t know that either... Please don’t ask any more questions. The boy is fine. That’s all I can say."

No matter how many times Fujishima asked, Tamaki only repeated, "I’m sorry, I’m sorry," without revealing Tohru’s whereabouts.

After learning that Tohru was no longer in the separate annex, Fujishima visited nearby institutions whenever he had a break from studying for his exams. He thought that maybe Tohru had been taken in by one of them. But Tohru wasn’t at any of the places within walking distance or along the train line he used for school. Since Tohru wasn’t going to school, there was a possibility that he had been transferred far away.

It occurred to Fujishima that his father might know where Tohru was. But he hadn’t seen his father’s face in a long time, even though they lived in the same house. In fact, he hadn’t even sensed his father’s presence. When he asked Tamaki about it, she told him that his father had been away on an overseas factory inspection since last month. If Tohru had disappeared while his father was away, it must have been his mother’s doing.

Driven by the desire to find out where Tohru was, Fujishima sneaked into his mother’s room while she was out. He thought that if Tohru had been transferred to another school, there might be documents related to the transfer somewhere in her room. However, he didn’t find a single document about Tohru. Instead, he found photos in his mother’s desk drawer. There were dozens of photos neatly stored in a beautiful paulownia box. The man standing beside his mother, who had her arm around his shoulder, was not his father or uncle, but a middle-aged man Fujishima didn’t recognize.

Time passed without any clue as to where Tohru had been taken. Winter passed, and spring came. In early March, Fujishima was accepted into his first-choice university, a national school’s economics department. His teachers had assured him he would be fine, and he had felt confident, but he still couldn’t relax until the results were announced.

He had nearly a month before starting university. Just when he thought he could finally search far and wide for Tohru, his mother suggested, "Let’s go on a trip together to celebrate your graduation and university admission." He couldn’t bring himself to say he wanted to search for Tohru and couldn’t defy his mother, so he reluctantly went on the trip with her. During the three weeks they spent at an overseas resort, Fujishima was reminded of Tohru every time he saw a child about the same age playing on the white beach, and it pained him.

On the day they arrived at their destination, Fujishima’s mother introduced him to an acquaintance she "happened" to meet. The man who smiled beside his mother and extended his right hand was the same man in the photos stored in the paulownia box. After that, the man appeared frequently, taking his mother out almost every day. Even Fujishima, who was usually oblivious to such things, could tell that this so-called graduation trip was just a pretext for his mother’s affair with the man. Watching his mother play innocently with her boyfriend, Fujishima couldn’t help but think of her as an unashamed woman.

While his mother was off enjoying herself with the man, Fujishima could think of nothing but Tohru. Whether walking along the beautiful sandy beach or eating a meal, he would suddenly recall Tohru's smiling or tearful face, and his chest would tighten. On the way back from the trip, which had not been enjoyable at all, Fujishima bought a lot of sweet treats that he knew Tohru would like, even though he knew he couldn’t give them to him.

At the beginning of April, after returning home from the three-week trip, Fujishima was about to enter the house when his mother took his hand and said, "Come with me." As they walked along the familiar path, Fujishima noticed that something that should have been visible was no longer there. The thought that maybe... just maybe... became a reality when he saw it with his own eyes.

During the three weeks they had been on the trip, the old storehouse where Tohru had lived had disappeared without a trace, replaced by a stylish English garden.

"It turned out beautifully, didn’t it? Don’t you think so too?"

His mother, as giddy as a young girl, was thrilled with the garden, where marguerites and violets bloomed in abundance. Fujishima, forgetting even to respond, stood there in a daze, staring at the scene. He hadn’t expected that even if he found Tohru, he could bring him back here. But still... it felt as if every trace that Tohru had existed had been erased, and it made him deeply sad.

Footnotes

0. Content warning: NSFW, child s*xual and physical abuse, faux p*dophilia.

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