La Vie En Rose: Chapter 1 - Part 5

Previous TOC Next

It was two days later when Momota found out that the bit of information he had overheard had led to a significant outcome. The morning news flashed a breaking story: "Just after 2 a.m. today, a large quantity of methamphetamine was seized at the Sakai-do Trading Company’s Warehouse No. 4 at the Port of Kawasaki." Three members of the Matsuzaka gang were arrested, but Kimura's name wasn't among them.

That evening, the same day as the news report, Ron-chan came over to stay at Momota's place.

"I saw the news, Ron-chan."

Ron-chan took off his black coat and hung it on a hanger, hooking it over the protruding beam.

"It's all thanks to the information you gave me, Momo. The detectives from the Organized Crime Division had also caught wind of the deal, but the details about the place and time kept changing, so they couldn’t pin it down. The info you overheard was the final piece."

"I was useful, wasn’t I?"

Ron-chan nodded slightly. Momota grinned.

"I guess even I can be of help to you, Ron-chan."

Momota had expected Ron-chan to be pleased, but there was a hint of worry in his eyes as he looked at him.

"I'm grateful for what you did today, but I don't want you to try to gather information like that anymore. After this, they'll be desperate to find out where the leak came from. If they even suspect you, it could be dangerous..."

"They don't know I overheard anything, so it's fine."

Even so, Ron-chan’s expression remained tense.

"I'm worried about you, Momo. You're a civilian..."

"I have a lot of friends in the yakuza world, too."

"Still, you’re a civilian."

Feeling a little happy at how much Ron-chan seemed to care about him, Momota gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay, I get it. I still value my life, so I’ll stay away from them for a while."

Relieved, Ron-chan showed a look of relaxation. Momota pulled him close and hugged him tightly. He could smell his lover's familiar scent on his neck, a scent he loved.

"Ron-chan, have you taken a bath?"

Suddenly, Ron-chan’s ears turned bright red, and he pushed away from Momota, creating some distance.

"Sorry, I've been busy… I haven't bathed in two days. I must smell awful, huh?"

Momota pulled him back in, closing the distance.

"No, no, I love how you smell, Ron-chan. How about we take a bath together?"

His blushing lover looked down, then nodded slightly.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

They ended up having sex while washing each other, and then had sex again after getting out. With their desires temporarily satisfied, they rested on the futon laid out in the corner of the room.

It seemed like Ron-chan was planning to buy a car, as he had brought several catalogs to compare.

“You have a driver’s license, Ron-chan?”

Ron-chan nodded. Lying naked under the futon, they talked with their shoulders touching.

“I got it when I was in college. I had a used car, but I hardly used it after starting work, so I scrapped it when the inspection expired... Do you have a license, Momo?”

“I did get one, but I never renewed it,” Momota replied, blowing out a puff of cigarette smoke and then pressing the rest into the ashtray.

“I like cars and think it would be nice to have one, but I don’t really use them. It’s convenient here with the train and bus stations nearby.”

“What kind of car do you like, Momo?”

Looking through the catalogs, most of the cars were family-oriented, promoting low fuel consumption and eco-friendliness. A typical choice for the serious Ron-chan.

“Hmm… I’d probably go for something with a lot of power. Back when I was in the gang, the head drove an RX-7, and I was so jealous of that.”

“An RX-7?”

“Yeah, there’s this car called the RX-7. Ah, after the model change, it’s now the RX-8, I guess. And just once, I’d like to drive a Ferrari. It’s a guy’s dream, you know?”

“Ferrari…” Ron-chan muttered quietly.

“Well, in my mind, you’re more of a four-wheel drive type. Like this one here in the catalog.”

Ron-chan stared intently at the catalog Momota pulled out.

“Hey, Ron-chan, you’re really a detective, right?”

Ron-chan raised his head and laughed, amused.

“Yes, I am.”

“You became a detective three years ago, right?”

“Yeah.”

Momota peered up at Ron-chan’s face from below.

“You don’t really seem like a cop.”

Ron-chan tilted his head.

“You don’t have a sharp look in your eyes, and you’re kind. I always wonder if you can really manage in that job.”

“Really? People tell me I’m suited for it.”

“No way,” Momota said, pushing back playfully.

“It’s true… honestly...”

Momota quickly kissed Ron-chan’s lips as he tried to respond in earnest.

“I’m really suited for… it…”

He kissed him again. Even after their lips parted, Ron-chan kept staring into Momota’s eyes.

“You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

“I do it because you look so cute when you’re angry.”

Ron-chan turned his back to Momota, pouting. From behind, Momota pressed close, apologizing softly, “Sorry, sorry.”

“Come on, cheer up…”

He nuzzled his nose against Ron-chan’s shoulder blade, then gently bit his shoulder. He rolled Ron-chan over onto his back, climbed on top of him, and held his head while giving him a deep kiss. As he did this, Ron-chan’s hands slowly wrapped around his back.

Now, Momota believed that Ron-chan truly liked him, but it hadn’t always been this way. For about the first year after they met, it felt like Ron-chan only offered his body reluctantly to fulfill their promise of "not dying or doing bad things."

Reluctantly... but Ron-chan was always gentle. He only cried the first time, and he never said no, no matter what they did. When their tongues entwined, he always responded.

Momota thought that if he did anything bad, Ron-chan would leave him… So, he tried hard to behave. At first, he worked at a diner that provided lodging. The pay was low, and the work—helping with prep and washing dishes—left his hands rough and cracked. Even when a customer yelled, “Change this dish!” just because his thumb touched the edge of the bowl, and he thought inwardly, “I could kill you,” he bowed his head because he feared Ron-chan might hate him if he quit.

When he saved enough money, he immediately moved into his current apartment. Because he was living at his workplace, he couldn’t bring Ron-chan over, and since Ron-chan lived in a dorm, they had to go to love hotels to have sex. Ron-chan would always pay for the hotel, but it was always just for a few hours. When their time was up, he’d quickly leave. Even though Momota wanted to stay with him all night, he couldn’t suggest staying because he wasn’t paying. At least in the apartment, they didn’t have to worry about time, and he could delay Ron-chan’s departure by saying, “I’m not done with you yet.”

About eight months after he started working, the diner owner died, and the place closed. Thinking the work would be similar in another food place, he took a dishwashing job at a Chinese restaurant next.

Even as a dishwasher, when things got busy, he would help cut ingredients and make staff meals. Here, too, he worked earnestly. Unlike the previous diner, this place had a lot of staff. Some people whispered behind his back about his criminal record, but he didn’t deny it—it was true, after all.

There were people he didn’t get along with, but there were also those who supported him. Through his own experience, he learned that if you work seriously, some people will notice, and some will be kind to you even if they know about your past.

A little over a year into their physical relationship, in spring, Momota gave Ron-chan a watch. It was three days after Ron-chan’s birthday because he had been busy with work around that time. It was from a domestic brand and cost 40,000 yen, nearly a month’s rent—a big splurge for Momota.

When he gave Ron-chan the gift, he looked puzzled and asked, “What’s this?”

“A present.”

“Why are you giving me this?”

“Because it was your birthday, three days ago.”

Ron-chan scratched his cheek with his fingertip, saying, “Oh...”

“I didn’t mention anything about my birthday, did I?”

“Yes, you did. That’s why I remembered.”

“Oh, did I?” Ron-chan nodded. He didn’t look happy at all. Momota started to feel gloomy, thinking Ron-chan probably didn’t want a gift from him. To make matters worse, Ron-chan said, “Thanks, but I have no reason to accept it,” which honestly annoyed him.

“It doesn’t matter if there’s a reason or not. I’m giving it because I want to.”

“But why?”

“I told you, because I want to…”

...He doesn’t get it. Momota was certain of this. He snatched the gift from the clueless guy’s hand and dramatically tossed it into the trash.

Ron-chan looked bewildered. Momota spat out, “Just leave.”

“Oh... okay...”

Ron-chan picked up his coat, which he had just taken off, and then turned back at the front door.

“I haven’t done it today, but... does it not matter?”

A flare of anger shot through his gut.

“I said get out! I don’t want to see your face anymore!”

Ron-chan flinched and trembled, then left the room with a stern look, his brow furrowed.

“Damn it!” Momota shouted the moment the door closed. But as soon as he was alone, an overwhelming anxiety gripped him. If he sent Ron-chan away like that, he might never come back here again... they might never meet again.

Before he even realized it, his body moved on its own. He kicked the door open and dashed outside. He ran down the steel stairs and out onto the one-way road, where he saw Ron-chan standing under a streetlight a little ways ahead, staring back at him.

Momota ran up to Ron-chan and grabbed his right hand. He tried to pull him back to the room, but Ron-chan resisted, bracing his legs.

“What... you don’t want to come back?”

“You told me to leave.”

Ron-chan’s voice was stiff.

“I don’t care if you leave; just come back!”

“I don’t understand what you’re thinking, Momota-san.”

Momota roughly shoved the arm he was holding away. Ron-chan looked angry too.

“I’m in love with you!”

He spat it out.

“You don’t care about me at all, do you?”

Ron-chan’s eyes widened, then he pressed his lips together tightly and looked down. The way he reacted, almost like an affirmation, made Momota’s chest ache painfully.

“I’m not blaming you for not being able to love me. I have a criminal record, I’m not good-looking, I’m broke, and I’m gay. But if we’re doing this, the least you could do is smile and say ‘thank you’ when I give you a present.”

Ron-chan kept his head down, not looking up. When Momota grabbed his arm and pulled again, this time Ron-chan came along without resistance.

Even though he managed to bring Ron-chan back to the room, the atmosphere was unbearably awkward. Ron-chan didn’t say anything either.

With no other reason to keep Ron-chan around, Momota held him close. Even as he felt himself getting hard, even as he was tightly embraced by that warm place, a bitter emptiness welled up inside him. He hastily wiped away his own tears that had fallen on Ron-chan’s back with the palm of his hand.

“...I’m sorry.”

He apologized to Ron-chan’s back.

“For you, this is probably just a nuisance. I’m not asking for the luxury of you loving me, just... please stay like this a little longer.”

Crying and begging, he came. Even after he finished and went limp, he didn’t want to let go or let Ron-chan leave, so he didn’t pull out from that warm place.

In the middle of the night, he woke up sensing that Ron-chan was moving away. Even though it was cold, he slipped out from under the futon, still naked, and sat in the middle of the room, illuminated by the moonlight streaming in through the window whose curtains they’d forgotten to close.

After sitting like that for a while, Ron-chan picked up the present Momota had thrown in the trash and unwrapped it. He took the watch out of its case and set it on the tatami mat.

He stared at it for about ten minutes, then took the watch in his hand and put it on his left wrist. Slowly, he crawled back into the futon. When Momota hugged his cold body tightly, Ron-chan gave a small shiver, as if startled.

Momota was well aware that Ron-chan didn’t love him. Even so, he was happy to see Ron-chan willing to accept his gift.

“...I’ve never once heard you say you love me, Momota-san,” Ron-chan murmured, as if offering an excuse.

“You should know even if I don’t say it. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be having sex for half a day or kissing you until your lips are swollen.”

“I thought that’s just how it was for gay people,” Ron-chan said quietly.

“You know, that’s a bit of a stereotype.”

As they continued talking in short, scattered sentences like raindrops, they started to feel calm and eventually grew sleepy. Just before falling asleep, Momota whispered softly into Ron-chan’s ear, who had already begun to breathe deeply and steadily, “Thank you.”

After that, Ron-chan’s attitude toward him gradually started to change. He used to never talk about himself, but now he would share funny stories or talk about his work. Even their sex changed. Ron-chan, who used to just lie there passively until it was over, would occasionally show such unexpectedly sensual reactions that it took Momota by surprise.

In the winter of their second year together, on Momota’s birthday—a day he had forgotten about—there was a knock on the door a little after 9 PM. He thought it might be Ron-chan, but since Ron-chan had been off work the day before yesterday, he figured he would be working the night shift today. He didn’t have anyone else who would visit him at home.

When he opened the door, there stood Ron-chan in uniform.

“What’s up?”

“I’m on patrol, but I wanted to drop by for a bit.”

Momota felt a surge of happiness at the thought that Ron-chan had come by while working.

“You want to come in?”

“No,” Ron-chan shook his head and pulled a small, ribbon-wrapped case out of his pocket.

“Happy birthday.”

Momota was so surprised he couldn’t speak. Ron-chan hastily asked, “It is today, right?”

“Oh, yeah. But I had completely forgotten. So it is my birthday, huh?”

When he took the gift, Ron-chan said, “I have to get back to work,” and turned to leave.

“Oh, uh… thanks.”

Ron-chan looked back for a moment, smiled just a little, then slowly descended the noisy steel stairs and got on the bike parked below.

Momota was surprised that serious Ron-chan had come all this way during work just to give him a present. He couldn’t remember when he had ever told Ron-chan his birthday.

He went back to his room and unwrapped the package. As soon as he saw it, he felt a jolt like electricity run through his body. A classy watch with a brown leather strap, gold frame, and white dial. He hurried outside, but Ron-chan was nowhere in sight.

Momota ran all the way to the police box. He had never gone there before, even when he wanted to see Ron-chan, because he knew it would just get in the way and wouldn’t make Ron-chan happy.

It was past 10 PM. Summoning his courage, Momota slid open the door of the police box. His fingers trembled with nerves.

“Um…”

A policeman, who looked to be in his thirties with a stern face like a rocky mountain, turned around.

“Is Hamauzu-san here?”

“Hamauzu is still on patrol. Can I help you with something?”

The officer smiled kindly. Momota felt a bit surprised. Then he realized: just because you have a past doesn’t mean it’s written on your face. No one could know just by looking.

“Oh, then never mind.” 

Barging into his workplace like this—what am I doing? Thinking that, Momota turned to leave, but then Iwayama peered past Momota’s shoulder. 

“Oh, he just got back now.” 

Momota turned around to see Ron-chan standing right behind him. 

“Momota-san?” 

Ron-chan’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“See you later, Hamauzu. I’m taking my break,” Iwayama said, leaving Ron-chan behind as he disappeared into the back of the police box. 

“What brings you here, Momota-san? It’s unusual for you to visit the police box.” 

“Am I bothering you?” 

“That’s not it. It’s just that you’ve never come here before. … Please, come inside.” 

Momota looked around. The door to the back room was open. 

“Is it alright if we stay outside?” 

“But it’s cold out here.” 

“This won’t take long.” 

Momota closed the sliding door at the entrance of the police box and stood in front of it. 

“Uh… well… um…” 

The words wouldn’t come out. Ron-chan tilted his head. 

“… Do you… even just a little bit… maybe think that I’m… um… ni… ni… nice?” 

Even a high school kid could’ve spoken more clearly. How lame… As soon as he thought that, his face turned red, and he looked down. 

“Forget it, you don’t have to answer. That thing was to repay you for last year, right? You don’t need to go out of your way to be considerate. Yeah. But I’ll cherish what you gave me for the rest of my life.” 

“I like you, Momota-san.” 

Momota’s head jerked up. Ron-chan was looking straight at him. 

“I’ve been thinking about it for about half a year now, wondering what I really feel about you. I thought about it over and over, and I’ve come to my own conclusion.” 

The watch he had given as a gift really had meaning. Just as Momota had guessed, Ron-chan was giving his answer along with the watch, responding to Momota’s confession a year ago. 

“You’re lying.” 

“I’m not lying.” 

“You’re joking, right?” 

Ron-chan, who rarely got angry, looked visibly irritated. 

“I don’t joke about things like this.” 

“But that’s ridiculous. It’s me we’re talking about,” Momota said, pointing to himself. 

“I’m not good-looking, I’m not smart, I have a record…” 

“Even if you say that… Was it a bother for you?” 

Ron-chan asked, looking a little sad. 

“It’s not a bother. I’m happy. I’m so happy I feel like I’ve used up all the luck in my life right here. But I don’t get it. I don’t have anything good to offer.” 

Ron-chan lowered his gaze. 

“I’ve never been in a relationship before, so I can’t compare it to anything. But when I’m with you, I feel at ease. I’m happy knowing that I’m cared for. Isn’t that enough?” 

Momota squatted down on the spot, clasped his hands together, and began muttering names of deities from all cultures and religions: God, Jesus, Buddha, Allah…

“Thank you for bringing Ron-chan into this world. Thank you for bringing him to me. Thank you for letting him say he likes me. Thank you for letting me experience this moment and these feelings. Even if I were to die tomorrow, I could die with a smile. I could die saying thank you.”

Tears poured down his face. As he crouched there, shoulders trembling slightly, Ron-chan gently rubbed his back. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m really happy, but I can’t stop crying. Why is that... ha, haha... hahaha...” 

… I’ll never forget this night, for the rest of my life. That’s what he thought. 

Now, even four years later, his lover is still by his side. They never fight. Even if they only see each other two or three times a month, Momota is happy. But what about Ron-chan…? Ron-chan will soon turn thirty—the age Momota was when they met. 

If he hadn’t gotten involved with me… Ron-chan probably would have dated a girl, gotten married, had kids, and been a good dad who spent his days off at the park with his family. 

For now, everything’s good. Things are fun. But maybe Ron-chan will eventually realize there’s no benefit in staying with me. Even if he doesn’t regret saying he loved me in a moment of confusion, a day might come when he wishes he could go back to a “normal” life. 

Breaking up might be better for Ron-chan. A family life suits him better. It’s definitely better than feeling guilty about being with a man. 

Momota’s chest tightened painfully. Even though he understood this, he couldn’t bring himself to break things off. Ron-chan had loved and cherished someone worthless like him. He knew there would never be another person like that. He could search the whole world and never find someone like Ron-chan.

The problem was with himself. Momota couldn’t live without Ron-chan. That’s why, even knowing what the right thing to do was, he couldn’t let go of the hand he was holding. 

“Can’t sleep?” 

He heard Ron-chan’s voice near his chest. 

“…I’ve got my eyes closed.” 

He hadn’t moved at all. So how did Ron-chan know he wasn’t asleep? 

“Your breathing is different.” 

“My breathing?” 

“When you’re sleeping, your breaths are slower.” 

“Really?” 

“You might not notice it yourself, but…” 

Momota always had the impression that Ron-chan fell asleep first. He thought he was the one watching Ron-chan’s sleeping face. But Ron-chan had been watching him, too.

Even if he was just a worthless person, Momota wanted to be useful to Ron-chan. He wanted to show that even a worthless person like him could have a purpose. He’d do anything for that. He’d do anything for this man.

Before he became a nuisance, before he was seen as a burden, before he was abandoned, Momota wanted to be useful to Ron-chan, even if only a little bit, even if only by the tip of his fingernail, and die that way… That’s what he thought. 

◇:-:◆:-:◇

It was about half a month after a large quantity of meth had been seized when Kimura called the "Punish Me♪ Emanuel Club." His voice sounded normal, but Momota could sense he was probably on edge. Kimura must have been heavily reprimanded by his superiors for losing both his merchandise and his underlings to the cops in one sweep.

Momota had asked Kaori, Kimura’s regular girl, to be especially kind to him. When Kaori returned from work, she told him that, despite no extensions, Kimura had given her a 20,000-yen tip.

“Kimura-san’s missing a pinky,” she reported to Momota with a complicated expression.

Later that night, after business hours were over and Momota was waiting in the office for the last girl to return, his cell phone rang. It was Kimura, inviting him out. “Hey, Momo, why don’t we grab something to eat?”

They met in a private room at a sushi restaurant in Shinjuku. Kimura was already there, and his left hand was noticeably missing part of his pinky, the tip covered with something like a transparent bandage.

"Kimura-san, are you alright?" Momota asked.

Kimura frowned and waved his right hand, his expression clearly saying, "Don’t talk about it."

“Kaori’s a really sweet girl,” Kimura said, sipping on some sake and praising his favorite girl as he always did.

“If she didn’t have a husband and kid, I’d make her my mistress,” he muttered under his breath.

"Kaori likes you, too, Kimura-san. If, just if, she were single, I think she’d be lucky to be chosen by you. But all the girls here are genuine housewives with kids,” Momota replied.

“It’s a joke, just a joke,” Kimura said with a weak smile, and the conversation died down.

“…So, is the drug trade really in a tough spot these days?” Momota muttered.

Kimura’s eyes turned sharp, like a yakuza’s. He glared at Momota, who quickly shook his head.

“No, it’s not that… I mean, I’ve… sort of…” 

“What is it? Spit it out,” Kimura demanded in a low, threatening voice.

“Well, you know… The other day, you asked me if I was interested in getting involved in your business. I turned you down back then, but now I’ve got some circumstances that leave me no choice…” 

Kimura’s face remained tense as he tilted his head slightly. 

“You said you couldn’t bear to leave your boyfriend. Such a girly excuse,” Kimura growled, and his intimidating presence made Momota clench his trembling fingers under the table.

“It’s… It’s about Ron-chan’s family. They’re in serious debt—close to 20 million yen with interest. The collectors are relentless. Ron-chan, he’s a civil servant, so his income is limited. Just the other day, he said he was considering working in the sex industry, and I swear my heart stopped. I kept thinking there must be something I could do to help, and that’s when I remembered what you said…”

It was a story typical of people who ended up in the sex industry. Maybe that’s why Kimura nodded in understanding. "So that's the situation," he said.

“But I know this isn’t a good time for you either, Kimura-san. I’m sorry to bring up something like this all of a sudden.” 

“No…” Kimura shook his head.

“To be honest, Momo, I appreciate your offer. Some low-level guys from our crew who got busted in that raid even snitched about dealings with foreigners, and a few more of our people got picked up. But we’re going to be under even tighter surveillance now, so we have to be careful…” 

“I understand it's a risky move, but I just can’t abandon Ron-chan…” Momota replied.

Kimura nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, it’s for someone you’re in love with, after all.”

“I’m not really cut out for street dealing, so I was hoping I could sell through some old connections. Though, I’m not even sure if any of those junkies are still alive,” Momota said with a laugh.

Kimura let out a chuckle but then suddenly turned serious. 

“Given the circumstances, maybe I’ll ask you for a favor this time. We’ve known each other a long time, Momo, and I know you’re trustworthy.”

“Thank you, Kimura-san. I really owe you for this,” Momota said, bowing repeatedly like a puppet on strings.

  

Kimura gently urged him, “Come on, raise your head. We’re friends, right?”

They agreed that Kimura would contact him later about the delivery of the goods, and they parted ways in front of the sushi restaurant just after 1 a.m. With the last train gone, Momota walked down the street, looking for a taxi. He’d had quite a bit to drink, but he wasn’t drunk. …He couldn’t get drunk.

It's easy to step into a place that seems bad. Once you enter that kind of situation, it's like being approached from all sides by people trying to reel you in. Or maybe it's because it's me—they're calling out to me. Maybe they choose whom they approach

Until now, he had always refused to enter that world, despite many invitations, because of Ron-chan. He didn’t want him to hate him or leave him.

But the "wrong" he chose this time wasn’t for himself. It wasn’t about an easy life, fun, or money.

“Oh, snow,” a woman’s voice said, passing by with her boyfriend. 

Momota looked up. Though it was already March, white snowflakes were falling gently from the pitch-black sky.

Snow brought back both fond and painful memories. With a shiver, Momota moved to the edge of the sidewalk and raised his right hand. 

◇:-:◆:-:◇

If it was a restaurant, he could save on food costs. With that kind of reasoning, Momota had moved from one place to another—diners, Chinese restaurants, and so on—but three years ago, he returned to the adult entertainment industry.

It had been about a year since the miracle of falling in mutual love with Ron-chan, a police officer. One day, Momota was asked by his landlord to go to the pet shop on the rooftop of N Department Store because she had thrown out her back and couldn't move.

The rent was cheap, so tenants often fell behind on payments, but Momota always paid his rent promptly, which made him a favorite of the landlord, an old lady who would sometimes share some mandarins or rice cakes with him, saying, “I got these from a friend.” She was over sixty, a bit plump with a round face that reminded him of his late mother.

Her cat had allergies and could only eat a particular brand of cat food. She seemed desperate, so Momota felt sorry for her and agreed to run the errand.

After buying three bags of premium cat food, which cost 2,000 yen per kilogram, he left the store and noticed a middle-aged woman playing with her children in the small amusement park that was predictably set up on the department store rooftop. She appeared to be in her late thirties, with hair tied back in a single bundle, a worn-out T-shirt, and faded jeans. Her child, maybe four or five years old, was overly excited, riding a character-themed ride that was popular some time ago. Another child, a boy in third or fourth grade, was sitting close to his mother, watching the younger one play.

There was a bigger amusement park nearby. Maybe they weren't going there because they couldn’t afford it, or maybe it was just too much trouble.

At dusk, the whole scene had a certain sadness to it, and Momota turned his gaze away, heading towards the elevator when he felt a light impact against his knee. Small hands grabbed onto his leg.

“Daddy!” 

The child smiled widely. He looked familiar, but to whom? Before he could figure it out, the child was pried off his leg.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” 

The woman in the T-shirt clutched the child to her chest. 

“No, Hiro-kun, that’s not your father,” she gently told him, then looked up at Momota and gasped. Her eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with her hand. With dark eyes that suggested she might have been quite pretty in her youth, tears began to spill out, one by one. Ignoring the bewildered Momota, the woman started to cry uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… You looked like someone I knew…”

“Ah, no, it’s fine,” Momota muttered, feeling awkward about the woman’s tears. Then, he noticed another pair of eyes staring at him intently. It was the child sitting next to the mother. Looking at the boy, Momota was startled—he looked eerily like his brother when he was young.

“Big brother…” he murmured under his breath, and the woman reacted immediately.

“Do you know my husband, Shigeru Momota?”

The child was the spitting image of his brother as a boy. Damn, I’ve run into the wrong people, Momota thought, clicking his tongue internally. He knew his brother had married; their mother had told him. But he hadn't been invited to the wedding, nor had he ever seen a picture of his sister-in-law.

"Uh, sorry, I’ve got to go." 

His brother had cut ties with him, telling him to stay out of his life. Even if it was just by chance, if it got out that he’d met his brother’s wife, who knows what would be said later. Not that his brother even knew his address to complain…

“Wait, wait,” the woman called, grabbing Momota's arm as he tried to step into the elevator.

“You’re Shigeru’s younger brother, right? You look so much like him. I mean, you really are, aren’t you?”

“No, you’ve got it wrong,” he denied, but she refused to let go.

“I’m certain of it. Even your back looks just like his… like he’s come back to life…” 

Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked at him. Momota scratched the back of his head, still looking down.

“Listen… Could you not tell my brother we met? We’re estranged…”

The woman gripped his arm tightly.

“Shigeru… he passed away.”

“What?” 

“Six months ago, from esophageal cancer.” 

For a moment, his mind went completely blank. Dead? Who?

“In his final days, he really wanted to see you.”

“That’s a lie!” Momota spat out, but the woman slowly shook her head.

“He deeply regretted saying he wanted to cut ties. He kept saying he abandoned his only brother…”

Lie, lie, lie… Momota repeated in his mind. His brother would never say such a thing. He had hated him for killing their parents… or for something close to killing them…

“He wanted to see you so much that he hired a private investigator to find you, but it was too late…”

Momota hung his head in silence. At his feet, his brother’s young child looked up at him, puzzled.

Previous TOC Next