Yellow Diamond: Chapter 3 - part 2
Spring, Senior Year of High School
The breeze
was soft and warm. The cherry blossom tree outside the classroom window had swollen
buds, but it wasn’t in bloom yet. In dramas and movies, scenes of cherry
blossoms fluttering in the air during graduation are common. But that’s a big
lie—cherry blossoms don’t bloom at the beginning of March.
As Yuusei
gazed outside, he noticed something. Near the decorated front gate stood
Shun’ichi. Even from a distance, he spotted him right away. Facing Shun’ichi
were two men in suits—one of them was Shun’ichi’s father, and the other...
could that be Kunihiko-san? It had been about twenty minutes since the
graduation ceremony ended, and most of the parents had already left. What could
they be talking about?
Kunihiko-san
was a friend of Shun’ichi's father. He’d heard the name “Kunihiko” so many
times from Shun’ichi that it had naturally stuck in his memory.
Shun’ichi’s
father wasn’t very capable when it came to daily life, so Kunihiko-san helped
them out with various things. In the past, Shun’ichi had deeply resented
Kunihiko-san’s involvement in their lives. The most symbolic moment had been
exactly three years ago, during their junior high graduation.
Shun’ichi’s
father had fallen ill and couldn’t attend the ceremony, so Kunihiko-san had
come in his place. When Shun’ichi noticed, he got incredibly angry, shouting,
“I didn’t ask you to come!” and “Why are you here? Go home!” No matter how much
abuse was thrown at him, Kunihiko-san, with a calm expression, just kept
filming, saying, “Your dad asked me to capture this for him.”
Although
Shun’ichi claimed they were strangers, Kunihiko-san resembled Shun’ichi more
than his actual father did—in both looks and demeanor. They really did seem
like a blood-related father and son. Even a nearby woman, watching their
argument, had muttered, “The son must be going through a rebellious phase,” so
clearly, that’s how they appeared to others too.
In the
early days of high school, Shun’ichi often complained about Kunihiko-san. But
gradually, those complaints lessened. By the time they were deciding their
future paths, Shun’ichi would say, “Kunihiko’s been giving me advice on various
things,” signaling that his long rebellion had finally come to an end.
Out of the
group of friends they had in junior high, only three of them ended up attending
the same high school: him, Shun’ichi, and Ichihashi. His parents had pushed him
to apply to a higher-ranked private school, but he’d convinced them by saying,
“It’s better to be close to home. I’ll definitely get into medical school.” The
high school was considered decent enough, so they allowed it. But that wasn’t
the real reason he wanted to go. It was because the person he liked was going
to that school. It was a secret he would never tell anyone.
Yuusei knew
that, though they were friends, Shun’ichi didn’t particularly like him. But
still, he wanted to stay close. Since class assignments were based on grades
and future plans, he and Shun’ichi had ended up in the same class for all three
years of high school, always together. Shun’ichi didn’t join any clubs.
Instead, after school, he worked multiple part-time jobs. In junior high, he
had worked to save up for high school, and now in high school, he said, “I’m
saving up for college.”
Even though
Shun’ichi was always busy with part-time jobs, he and Ichihashi had been making
short horror films together and uploading them to video-sharing sites. Neither
of them bothered to join the high school’s film club because they thought it
would be “too much of a hassle.” Since Shun’ichi didn’t own a smartphone, they
shot the videos on Ichihashi’s phone, and Ichihashi did the editing. When they
needed extra help, they would call him. He wasn’t fond of horror, but he was
happy to be involved with Shun’ichi, so he’d always agree, saying, “I guess I
have no choice.”
Yuusei was
in about 90% of the videos the two uploaded.
Filming the
videos was fun, even if the view counts never really went up. That didn’t
matter. The only time he felt the wall between him and Shun’ichi thin, and
sometimes even disappear, was when they talked about those videos.
It was in
June of their second year when Sakae, a girl from their class, joined what had
been their trio’s fun video shoots. He had a bad feeling about it—she seemed to
talk to Shun’ichi with such joy, and they stood so close. Neither Shun’ichi nor
Sakae said anything, but about a month after the group became four, Ichihashi
casually mentioned, "Looks like those two are dating," and his world
went dark.
"…They
haven’t told me anything," he muttered.
Ichihashi
didn’t seem bothered by it. "They told me to keep it a secret, so maybe
they're just embarrassed."
Even though
hearing it directly from Shun’ichi would have been painful, not being told at
all left him with a heavy sense of unease. Now, whenever he saw the two of them
together, it filled him with a deep sadness. He had liked Shun’ichi since their
first year of junior high, but after just a few months of knowing him, Sakae
was now dating him—it felt so unfair. It hurt. It was a harsh reminder that
just because you’ve liked someone for a long time, it doesn’t give you any
advantage. That reality was staring him in the face.
Yuusei
didn’t want to see them together, but when invited to film, he couldn’t refuse.
He knew that if he pulled away now, there would be nothing left connecting him
and Shun’ichi. So, despite the pain, he followed them.
There was
always an invisible wall between him and Shun’ichi, but with Sakae, that wall
didn’t seem to exist. He once spotted the two of them after school in the
classroom, sitting by the window, facing each other across a desk and chatting.
They hadn’t noticed him watching. He should have just passed by, but he
couldn’t help eavesdropping, wondering what they were talking about. Then, he
saw Shun’ichi gently pinch the tip of Sakae’s long hair and laugh.
His chest
felt like it was being crushed. His breath grew shallow, and trembling, he
quickly left the scene. His feelings were like a zombie—he knew they were dead,
yet they still moved like a lingering ghost.
Despite the
sweet atmosphere between Shun’ichi and Sakae, by the time autumn passed, Sakae
stopped joining them for filming. At first, he thought she was just busy, but
as her absence continued, he started to suspect something. Sure enough,
Ichihashi eventually told him, "Looks like they broke up." He didn’t
know the reason, and he didn’t ask. Shun’ichi didn’t say anything either. Just
like how Shun’ichi never told him they were dating in the first place.
Yuusei
found himself thinking something absurd—how stupid Sakae was for breaking up
with Shun’ichi. If she was going to break up with him, she could’ve let him
take her place at least once.
Even though
Sakae was gone, the position of "the girl Shun’ichi likes" never fell
to him. The wall between him and Shun’ichi remained. But still, they stayed
together. They talked. They filmed videos. Maybe they were friends. More than
just classmates, but less than Ichihashi. That middle ground was likely where
he’d stay forever.
Back in junior
high, he hadn’t understood why he held this position. He had been kinder to
Shun’ichi than anyone else and felt he deserved to be closer, to have a better
spot in Shun’ichi’s life. But after thinking about it over the years, he
started to understand a little of how Shun’ichi must have felt back then.
Yuusei used
to believe he was doing the right thing, thinking, “I need to help him.” But
none of that was what Shun’ichi actually wanted or needed. Being helped in ways
you don’t ask for—being meddled with—was annoying. Irritating. ...In
Shun’ichi’s eyes, he was probably a nuisance. Even if he regretted it, he
couldn’t undo the past. All of those moments had piled up to form the
relationship they had now.
As he
absentmindedly pondered these things, the three figures near the school gate
had disappeared.
"Hey."
A voice
called out to him, pulling him from his thoughts. He turned around to see
Shun’ichi standing at the classroom door, looking at him.
"You’re
still in the classroom? And you’re alone," Shun’ichi said, approaching.
"Ah,
yeah."
Shun’ichi
came closer and looked down at the schoolyard from the window. "This is
the last time we’ll see this view, huh," he murmured.
"You
made up with Kunihiko-san, huh?"
Shun’ichi
furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about?"
"I saw
you guys from here. Back at our junior high graduation, you were furious at
Kunihiko-san for showing up."
Suddenly, a
look of mild embarrassment crossed Shun’ichi’s face. "You really remember
that, huh?"
"Well,
it left a strong impression."
"I was
just a kid back then."
You’re
still a kid now, he thought, but swallowed the words. In April,
Shun’ichi would be heading to a university in Hokkaido. When the homeroom
teacher had heard Shun’ichi’s reason for choosing it—"I want to go
somewhere far away"—he had been exasperated. He himself would be attending
a university in Tokyo. Ichihashi was going to Kanagawa. The three of them were
all heading in different directions.
Once, he
had confided in his parents, saying he wanted to go to a university in Hokkaido
that had a medical school. They had asked, "Why Hokkaido?" He
couldn’t tell them it was because he wanted to follow the person he liked. And
he didn’t have a strong enough reason to insist on it. Even if they ended up at
the same university, without Ichihashi as a buffer, Shun’ichi might not pay
attention to him. And if Shun’ichi got another girlfriend… Reliving the high
school situation all over again would be unbearable.
Suddenly,
something burst into the room through the open window. A white bird… a pigeon.
It flapped noisily around the cramped classroom, its large wings flapping
wildly, before landing on top of the cleaning supply cabinet.
"This
is bad. We need to get it out of here."
Even though
Shun’ichi said that, Yuusei wasn’t sure how to coax the pigeon outside.
Shun’ichi, however, quickly closed all the windows and doors on the hallway
side, then started opening the windows facing the outside from right to left.
Scrambling to help, he began opening the remaining windows. The pigeon flew
around the room, circling before perching on a narrow ledge above the
blackboard. Tiny feathers floated gently down.
Shun’ichi
pulled a broom from one of the lockers and began inching closer to the pigeon
on the blackboard. It was clear he was trying to guide it toward the open
window, but the scene was so absurd that if anyone walked in, it would look
like "pigeon abuse."
"Hey,
Yuusei! Stop staring and help me out!"
With no
other choice, he grabbed a broom from the locker and joined in the chase. Why
am I spending graduation day chasing a pigeon with a broom?
"Hey,
it’s coming your way!" Shun’ichi called out.
He turned
to look just as the pigeon changed direction, and before he knew it—thud—something
collided with him.
"Ugh,
whoa!"
He stumbled
and fell between two desks. The broom slipped from his hand and went flying
toward the teacher’s podium.
“Ugh…”
Shun’ichi
grimaced, clenching his teeth in pain. He wasn’t hurt at all, though—he had
used Shun’ichi as a cushion.
“S-sorry!”
Yuusei
quickly scrambled off the human cushion. Shun’ichi groaned, “My back hurts,” as
he slowly sat up, hunching over, enduring the pain in silence before looking
around.
“Where’s
the pigeon?”
Still
sitting on the floor, they both scanned the ceiling. There was no sign of the
pigeon. It must have flown out the window while they were tangled on the
ground.
“Well, at
least it’s gone.”
Shun’ichi
frowned. “Not good for me. My back still hurts.” Just then, something soft
fluttered in front of Shun’ichi’s face, and he reached out to catch it between
his fingers. As it brushed against his nose, Shun’ichi let out a loud “Achoo!”
A bit of snot dribbled out, and he hurriedly sniffed it back up. The sight was
so ridiculous that he couldn’t help but laugh.
“Don’t
laugh, idiot,” Shun’ichi said, but he was laughing too. They both burst into
uncontrollable laughter, clutching their stomachs, joking, “That pigeon must’ve
been really stupid.”
Then,
suddenly, Shun’ichi stopped laughing. He reached out toward him. The wall that
always seemed to exist between them was gone. The closeness made his heart
race, and, irrationally, he thought Shun’ichi might kiss him. Of course, that
wasn’t going to happen, but the thought made his body tense with anticipation.
Shun’ichi’s
hand paused for a moment, then resumed its motion, plucking a small feather
from his hair and holding it up.
“You had
this stuck in your hair.”
His heart
pounded, and his voice came out shaky. “Oh… right.”
Shun’ichi
stared at him, uncharacteristically close. He usually avoided eye contact or
kept a subtle distance, but today was different.
“Hey… you
know…”
Shun’ichi
started to say something, and he felt a mix of expectation and fear in the
brief silence that followed. But then Shun’ichi dropped his gaze and muttered,
“Nah, forget it.”
Shun’ichi
stood up and brushed the dust from his uniform, which had gotten dirty when
they’d fallen.
“Oh, I
forgot. Ichihashi said we should take a picture together by the entrance. He’s
going to be pissed if we don’t hurry.”
Still
sitting on the floor, Yuusei heard Shun’ichi’s voice urging him, “Come on,
let’s go.” He got up, brushed off his clothes like Shun’ichi had, and followed
him. He didn’t walk beside him—he followed from behind.
“We’re all
going to different universities, huh? I guess the next time we’ll see each
other is at the coming-of-age ceremony or something,” Shun’ichi said, walking
ahead of him.
So that’s
it, he thought. After graduation, Shun’ichi wasn’t planning to see him again
until the coming-of-age ceremony. But maybe that’s just how things are supposed
to be.
Yuusei
hadn’t felt sad during the graduation ceremony, but suddenly, a wave of emotion
welled up in his chest. Goodbye, he said in his mind to Shun’ichi’s
back. Goodbye, goodbye. No matter how many times he repeated it, the
feeling of saying goodbye wouldn’t leave him, and it hurt so much, it felt like
his heart was burning.
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