Bluebird: Chapter 7
Half a year had passed since Kawachi started
living with Inukai, when suddenly, Inukai received a call from his older
brother. When Inukai had told his parents that he was going to legally
acknowledge Kawachi’s child, they had been furious, saying things like,
"An irresponsible Omega like him should just be ignored." Given the
circumstances, Inukai knew that, even if it went to court, he probably wouldn’t
be held responsible.
Despite this, the child was undeniably his, and
even if it was just for the sake of official records, he wanted to acknowledge
it. He longed for the responsibility, even though he wasn’t loved by Kawachi,
even though his proposal had been rejected.
When the time came to register their marriage,
Inukai didn’t consult anyone. There simply wasn’t time for it. After Kawachi
had settled down a bit, Inukai told his parents about the marriage, and they
screamed at him. "You were probably threatened using the child," they
said. "You’ve been deceived." Even though he tried to explain that it
was with the person he had always loved, his fated mate, and that he didn’t
regret getting married, they refused to listen.
Despite speaking calmly, his father continued
to call Kawachi a "filthy Omega," and Inukai felt an intense surge of
anger. He didn’t want the person he loved, the person he had finally won over,
to be spoken of like that. So, he retorted, “If that’s how you feel, then fine.
I won’t step foot in this house again,” and left, throwing the words over his
shoulder like a final insult.
It was in that moment that he realized how
grateful he was not to have joined the family business. Without relying on his
parents' power, the fact that he could support Kawachi and the child with his
own income became a point of pride.
Although contact from his relatives, including
his siblings, had completely stopped, a sudden message came from his brother.
The message read, “Let’s have a family discussion about the future.”
Inukai replied, “If you want to apologize for the way Dad treated my
partner, then I’ll come to talk.” He didn’t get a response.
Two weeks later, his brother sent another
message: "Why not come by the house and show us the child?"
Inukai had a strange feeling and asked Sawako about it. It turned out that once
his mother found out that the grandchild was a boy and resembled Inukai, she
became curious. Inukai replied, “If it’s alright to bring my partner, I’ll
come and show the child.” As expected, there was no further contact.
Someday, there might come a day when he could
introduce Kawachi to his parents—or maybe that day would never come. Even if he
did decide to introduce him, Inukai knew that now was not the right
time.
Kawachi was leisurely drinking tea in relaxed
clothes—short-sleeved T-shirt and joggers, his expression peaceful as he sat
across from Inukai. Despite having a child together, there was no sexual
contact between them. In a way, their relationship felt less like that of
partners and more like housemates with a child. Kawachi had hated sex with men
to the point of repulsion. The moment Inukai even hinted at a sexual
atmosphere, he feared Kawachi would be disgusted and run away. So, he was
especially careful not to make any advances.
Their life together was stable. But Inukai knew
that it carried the precariousness of walking on thin ice. He wanted to be
loved, to have Kawachi's heart, but he would not be selfish enough to voice it.
He had become bonded with his fated mate, and
was even trying to have a second child together. In a situation where he could
have had nothing, he had somehow earned the right to be closest to Kawachi, to
share a child—this irreplaceable, powerful, and undeniable bond.
“Oh, by the way, Yuu took a few steps today,”
Kawachi said.
“Really?” Inukai responded, surprised.
“Wanna see?” Kawachi offered his smartphone,
tapping it to show Inukai a video.
Inukai watched, his heart swelling. Yuu, using
the sofa for support, had taken three tottering steps. The sight was so
ridiculously cute that he watched it over and over again.
“Yuu was quick to stand, but he took a while
before he started walking, huh?” Kawachi mused. “He’s curious, but a bit of a
coward. Before you came home earlier, a big moth flew in and landed on Yuu’s
head. He screamed bloody murder.”
“Incredible... Yuu’s crying is so loud, you can
hear him from anywhere,” Inukai noted. “He makes sure we know when he’s upset.”
“He’s got a lot of personality,” Kawachi said,
smiling fondly.
The two continued chatting about their day.
Most of the conversation was about Yuu, but Inukai didn’t mind—it was
comforting, pleasant even.
“Oh, by the way, you don’t have to buy any more
diapers,” Kawachi said casually.
“Are you sure? We still have plenty for Yuu,
but if another one comes, we might run out,” Inukai replied, concerned.
Kawachi shrugged, nonchalant. “You’ve bought
way too many. I looked in the closet in the living room the other day, and
there were diapers everywhere. Yuu’s gonna grow out of them soon anyway, so
there’s no need to stockpile so much.”
Inukai couldn’t argue with that, so he
relented. When he went out shopping, he couldn’t help but buy diapers and toys.
He couldn’t help but feel that, since Kawachi was pregnant and couldn’t carry
heavy things, it’s only natural for me to do it, he thought.
“Oh,” Kawachi muttered softly, hunching his
back slightly.
“What’s wrong?” Inukai asked, concerned.
“I just felt something move,” Kawachi said,
placing his hand on his lower abdomen and laughing softly. “This one’s active.
Kicks harder than Yuu did.”
Inukai felt a sudden urge to touch that part of
Kawachi’s belly, to feel their unborn child. But he couldn’t bring himself to
ask. Kawachi might not want him to touch it, and the thought made him hesitate.
As Kawachi gently rubbed his belly, he suddenly
spoke. “Hey, you should come up with a name for this one.”
“Me?” Inukai’s heart skipped a beat. He felt
cold sweat on his back.
“Yeah, I named Yuu, so it only seems fair that
you name this one,” Kawachi said, smiling lightly.
Inukai had wondered for a long time about what
they would name their second child, but he hadn’t dared to bring it up himself,
waiting for Kawachi to say something. He’d thought that the topic might not
come up until after the birth, but he never imagined it would be thrown into
his lap like this.
Kawachi had named their first child, Yuu, so it
made sense that Inukai should get to name this one. I understand the logic,
Inukai thought. But if I’m being honest... I wanted to decide together.
Still, if this was what Kawachi wanted, he couldn’t bring himself to refuse.
"I understand."
"Thanks," Kawachi replied, getting up
from the sofa. He rinsed his cup, then said, "I'm going to bed now. Good
night," and walked into the bedroom.
Left behind, Inukai was suddenly struck by a
feeling of solitude. He shook off the loneliness and went to his own room. He
dropped his bag, set out his clothes, and took a shower. Once he finished
dealing with some work that had been on his mind, it was already past midnight.
He entered the bedroom quietly, trying not to
make a sound. On the futon on the floor, Yuu and Kawachi were already asleep.
Perhaps having heard him, Kawachi briefly opened his eyelids, but quickly
closed them again.
He was with the person he loved, and their
child. They were sleeping together. Soon, their second child would be born. It
should have been happiness, but somehow, he still felt lonely.
I love both Kawachi and our child, he thought. Kawachi loves our
child, but he doesn’t love me. He understood that it was because they were
married, because they were fated mates, because they had a child together that
they were still together. And that realization, though it should have been
enough, hurt. He had chosen this path, and yet, he couldn’t complain about the
loneliness that came with it.
◇:-:◆:-:◇
Inukai assigned his junior to handle the
fieldwork and focused on office tasks, finishing his work almost on time. He
wasn't going to stay late today. A typhoon was approaching, and the rain that
had been falling since the morning was growing steadily stronger. It would be
better to leave before he got caught in a flood of stranded commuters. Even
though it was only the first week of August, it was the second typhoon to hit.
This year might be a particularly bad one for typhoons.
Before preparing to leave, he went up to the
third floor of the company building and entered the restroom at the end of the
hall. This floor, mainly consisting of a document room and conference rooms,
was rarely used by anyone after office hours.
The men's restroom had two stalls and four urinals. He
entered a stall and locked the door. Sitting down felt like too much trouble,
so he stayed standing, unzipped his pants, pulled out his penis, and quietly
masturbated.
Since starting to live with Kawachi and Yuu, he
hadn’t masturbated at home. It wasn’t that he couldn’t do it in his own room,
the bathroom, or the toilet, but he didn’t want to risk anyone noticing or
letting Kawachi catch a whiff of his semen. Naturally, he began handling it
outside the house. Eventually, he settled into a routine of taking care of it
after work in a rarely used stall in the company restroom.
Even though they were married and had each
other as partners, sex wasn’t something they could just have. Being with
Kawachi was solely to suppress the heat that brought him to the brink of death.
In those moments, I could ravish that intoxicating body to my heart’s
content. But once the heat passed, once the festival of that time was over,
I couldn’t even touch him with a single finger anymore.
Recalling the memory of their coupling from a
few months ago, he stroked his erection. Just replaying Kawachi’s lascivious
figure in his mind made his hips feel like they were melting from the pleasure.
Sex with a fated mate, an Omega chosen by the gods, was like a drug.
…As he released his desires and caught his
breath, there was the sudden clamor of people barging in.
“Ah, I’m exhausted.”
The excitement quickly drained away. Whoever it
was, it was good that they showed up after the fact. The sound of footsteps
indicated that more than one person was nearby. They didn’t enter the
neighboring stall, so they’d probably leave soon.
“You know, our company’s apparently building
another factory,” It was a man with a husky voice. He seemed to be from a
department unrelated to his own, or maybe someone he didn’t recognize.
“Really? They're making a profit, huh?”
In contrast, the other voice was high-pitched.
“Yeah, the dialyzers are selling like crazy.”
The two were speaking casually, so they were
probably colleagues. The small meeting room had been in use, so they might have
come from there.
"By the way, last month, a guy named
Inukai from the branch came for sales."
The mention of his name by the man with the
husky voice made him flinch.
"Turns out he's an Alpha. The women in our
department were making a huge fuss about it, it was so loud."
"Yeah, I heard the rumors about him too.
He's not bad looking, I guess. But he's married, right?"
The man with the high-pitched voice replied,
and the husky-voiced man responded with, "Is that so?"
"The women in our office were all eager to
find out if he had a girlfriend or not."
"At the drinking party, he was talking
about how he's married. He had a shotgun wedding, and he's got a kid. He was
all happy saying his second one's coming soon."
"A shotgun wedding for an Alpha, huh? The
woman must be pretty capable."
"Maybe an Omega aiming for a rich husband.
I hear when an Omega gets an Alpha in heat, they can't resist. I wouldn’t know,
being a Beta, but I hear sex during an Omega’s heat is something else."
The man with the high-pitched voice let out a
lewd, mocking laugh.
"In my
view," he said, "Alphas might mess around with Omegas or even get
them pregnant, but in the end, I picture them settling down with another
Alpha."
"That’s
just my guess about Inukai’s partner being an Omega. I don’t actually know what
their secondary gender is, and honestly, I don’t care," he said
casually.
Inukai
wasn’t bothered by others knowing his partner was an Omega. No matter what
anyone said, he wasn’t ashamed. He could proudly say he loved his partner with
all his heart. But Kawachi was different. Even though he adored their child, he
hadn’t truly accepted having sex with a man, having to get pregnant to survive,
and giving birth.
If he hadn’t been an Omega, if his heat could
have been suppressed by medication, Kawachi would never have had sex with a
man, let alone gotten pregnant. Without the child, they wouldn’t be living
together. And yet, the child bound them together. Heat would come back
regularly after childbirth, no matter how much Kawachi cried or resisted. It
would always return.
What’s heaven for me must feel like hell for
him. That thought
crossed Inukai’s mind, tinged with a faint sense of vengeance toward someone
who could never fully love him back.
After cleaning up, Inukai left the restroom,
his face composed as if nothing had happened. Back at his desk, just as he
picked up his work bag, his phone buzzed with a message. It was from Kawachi.
A bad feeling gnawed at him. Kawachi rarely
sent messages, especially not during working hours when Inukai might still be
busy. He quickly opened it: "My water broke. I’ve been admitted to the
hospital. Yuu is with Sawako-san; I’ve asked her to extend her stay."
The shock was so overwhelming that he dropped
his smartphone.
In a panic, he quickly picked it up, gripped it
tightly in his hand, and ran out of the department. He darted into the shadow
of a pillar in the hallway. It took five rings before the call finally
connected.
"Are you... okay? It's about a week
earlier than your due date, right? Is the baby... really coming now?"
His voice trembled as he spoke, but Kawachi
responded in a flat tone, "Yeah, it's probably coming."
"I-I'll go to the hospital right
now!"
"You're still at work, aren't you? You
don’t have to rush."
"I’m done. I-I’m going."
He ended the call and quickly left the office.
He hailed a taxi on the street and directed it toward the Omega-only maternity
clinic where Kawachi had been receiving care.
He had heard that for male Omegas, the birth
date rarely shifts, but this was nearly a full week ahead of schedule. He
couldn’t stop worrying that something might have happened to the baby. The taxi
was stuck in the evening rush hour traffic, crawling along at a snail’s pace.
Now, he regretted not taking the train. Even with the air conditioning, the
tension made sweat bead on his forehead.
Suddenly, he remembered he was still wearing
his wedding ring. He removed it and placed it in its case. He had bought a
matching ring for Kawachi but hadn’t had the chance to give it to him. Only his
immediate supervisor knew about their marriage. Even if he tried to give
Kawachi the ring, he feared it might be refused outright. I couldn’t handle
that, he thought, gripping the case tightly as the taxi crawled through
traffic.
What would have been a fifteen-minute drive on
a normal day took nearly forty minutes, and he finally arrived at the hospital.
It was just past 6:30 PM. After giving his name at the reception, he was
directed to the room. Unable to wait for the elevator, he took the stairs and
opened the door to the private room.
Kawachi was sitting on the side of the bed,
casually eating his meal.
He was standing frozen in the doorway, still
processing the scene when Kawachi lazily called out to him, "You’re
early."
He had imagined Kawachi alone, suffering and
groaning, so the sight of him calmly eating completely threw him off.
"...Are you... okay?"
He approached cautiously, and Kawachi nodded
with a soft, "Yeah."
"The amount of water breaking is small, so
even if the baby comes, it might still take a while," Kawachi continued.
"But since this is my second, it could be faster... they told me they
can’t really predict the timing. My schedule got moved up, so I contacted my
boss, delegated my work to my junior, and was running around until just a
little while ago. But, well, I had already been slowing down work just in case
something happened."
He sat down in the chair nearby. Kawachi
glanced over at him briefly.
"You came straight from the office?"
He nodded.
"If it's not coming right now, you might
as well go grab something to eat," Kawachi suggested.
"I'm fine. I don't have an appetite."
Kawachi finished his meal in a few quick bites.
Soon, a nurse came in, greeted them with a friendly bow, and cleared away the
empty tray. Now, all they could do was wait for the baby to come. But there was
nothing to do. It seemed Kawachi was in the same boat; he turned on the TV.
"You should go home for a bit," he
said.
Was that a hint that he didn’t want him to
stay? If that was the case, it was harsh. Maybe it would be easier for Kawachi
if he went home, but this time, no matter what, he had to be there for
the birth.
"...I’m staying here. I’m worried."
"It was just me the first time, so I’m
fine. Just go home, change, eat something, take a shower. I’ll contact you
right away if things start happening."
"I don’t want to miss it. What if the
baby’s born while I’m at home and I don’t make it in time?"
He stubbornly refused. At that, Kawachi let out
a loud, exaggerated sigh. His chest ached at the sound. Kawachi scratched his
head and said, "Fine, at least go eat something."
"I really don’t have an appetite."
Kawachi looked at him intently and gave a wry
smile.
"I’m the one who’s supposed to be giving
birth, but look at you—so stiff and nervous. What’s the point of that?"
It wasn’t until he was pointed out that he
realized just how tense he had become.
"I know this is your second time,
Kawachi-san, but it’s my first time being there for the birth."
Kawachi sighed, but he hoped he would
understand how he felt, too.
"...Alright, then, go run an errand for
me. There’s a convenience store just past the hospital, to the right. Pick up
two bottles of tea, three rice balls, and whatever magazines look good."
"But... what if the baby comes while I’m
not here...?"
Kawachi cut him off firmly. "That’s not
going to happen. It won’t come right now, I guarantee it. Now, go."
Reluctantly urged out of the room, he couldn't
shake the feeling of anxiety. He found himself running full speed toward the
convenience store. He grabbed what Kawachi had asked for, paid, and rushed
back. The round trip took less than ten minutes, and when he returned, Kawachi
said, "Damn, you’re fast. Faster than bitter tea, faster than fast
tea."
He handed Kawachi the bag, and Kawachi pulled
out the tea and magazine, then offered the rest to him.
"Eat the rest. It's for you."
"Huh? I’m fine, really. I just... feel a
little too full."
Kawachi rolled his eyes. "Don’t be so
dramatic. Don’t sit there looking pale and empty-stomached next to me. It’s bad
for my mental health. Eat the rice balls while I finish this magazine. This is
an order."
...An order? He had no choice but to eat the rice balls.
His stomach had no appetite, but somehow, all three slid down smoothly. It
seemed his body had been hungrier than he’d realized.
As he ate, the tension slowly drained away, and
his shoulders loosened a little. At first, he'd taken the suggestions to go
home or run errands as an attempt to push him away, but now, he could finally
see it for what it was—Kawachi was looking out for him.
"By the way, have you decided on a
name?" Kawachi asked, flipping through the magazine that had been brought
from the convenience store.
They had found out the baby was a boy during
last week’s check-up, with both of them present when the doctor shared the news.
He hesitated, unsure, and then, hoping Kawachi wouldn’t outright reject it, he
muttered, "Kouta."
“What kanji will you use?” Kawachi asked,
glancing at him.
“The ‘Kou’ (広) from my name and the ‘Ta’ (太) from yours. I decided on it
because I wanted to include something of both of our names,” Inukai explained.
Kawachi had told him to decide, leaving him to handle the responsibility on his
own. At the time, it had felt isolating. Still, he had thought about it deeply,
wrestled with the decision, and ultimately chose a name that reflected a bond
between the two of them. He wanted the child’s name to symbolize their
connection, even in its simplest form.
“Kouta, huh? Sounds good,” Kawachi replied
casually.
The nonchalant response to a name Inukai had
agonized over felt oddly dismissive. Kawachi had said it was good, but the lack
of enthusiasm planted a seed of doubt. Maybe he doesn’t care about the
baby’s name at all, Inukai thought, his emotions quietly unraveling into
negativity.
"...Ugh."
Kawachi grimaced, his back curling slightly. In
a panic, Inukai rushed to his side.
"A-Are you okay?"
Kawachi stayed still for a moment, then exhaled
deeply, relaxing his shoulders.
"It hurt for a second, but it passed. The
contractions are still spaced out, so it looks like we’ve got a while to go
before the baby comes. ...Honestly, you could go home if you wanted."
He had been told to go home several times
already, and even though he knew it was out of concern, he felt like his
resolve was starting to crack.
"Do you... not want me to be here?"
He didn’t want to burden Kawachi during such a
difficult time, but the words slipped out, tinged with a bit of resentment. As
expected, Kawachi’s expression hardened.
"It’s not that I don’t want you here. It’s
just... I don’t know when this is going to end, and I’m worried you’re going to
get worn out. You’ve got work tomorrow, right?"
"I’ll take a day off."
Kawachi spread his hands in exasperation.
"This could take two or three days, you
know."
"I don’t care. I want to be here for the
birth. I couldn’t be there for the first time, but I will be here for
this one."
Kawachi sighed, closing his eyes. "Well,
alright then."
Over the next couple of hours, the contractions
intensified. Kawachi’s face twisted in pain, and he began to groan repeatedly.
He no longer had the energy to watch TV or read.
Each time Kawachi muttered "Ugh" or
"It hurts," Inukai’s heart raced, and he felt a tight knot in his
stomach.
"Um... is it okay if I... hold your
hand?"
He was afraid Kawachi might not want it, but
Kawachi gave a faint nod. "Sure."
So, Inukai gently took Kawachi’s right hand.
With every wave of pain, Kawachi’s grip tightened painfully. Sweat started to
bead on his forehead as he endured the pain. Inukai wiped it away and, in his
heart, silently prayed, Please don’t hurt, Please be strong as he
held Kawachi’s hand tighter. He let go when the nurse or doctor came in for
checkups, but otherwise, he stayed by Kawachi’s side, gripping his hand and
rubbing his trembling back during each contraction.
By around 2 AM, the contractions had become
closer together, and it seemed like the baby was finally on its way. Sitting
next to Kawachi, who was writhing in pain, Inukai felt as if he, too, was being
tortured. Exhausted, he stayed with him, offering support, until it finally
took about an hour for the baby to be born.
The moment he heard his child’s first cry,
Inukai was overwhelmed with emotion, and tears started flowing uncontrollably.
Kawachi, his face bright red and utterly drained, had the baby placed on his
chest. With a trembling finger, he gently touched the tiny hand and softly
said, "Hello, Kouta." The sight was so beautiful that more tears
welled up in his eyes. Seeing him, Kawachi gave a small smile.
The newborn was taken to the nursery, and
though Kawachi was completely exhausted, Inukai was still buzzing with an
overwhelming sense of exhilaration from witnessing the birth of his child.
"I'm tired... I'm going to sleep."
Kawachi closed his eyes. When Inukai spoke up,
he sluggishly opened them.
"Thank you... for giving birth to Kouta."
Kawachi responded with a small grunt, barely
audible.
"Can I stay by your side for a little
while longer?"
"...Do whatever you want."
Kawachi closed his eyes again. Inukai sat down
in the chair beside the bed, watching Kawachi, who looked utterly exhausted. He
found himself crying once more. He had heard that childbirth was hard, but he
hadn’t imagined it could be that painful. The emotional impact of the birth was
beyond anything he could have ever imagined, far surpassing all the stories
he’d heard.
"Um..."
This time, Kawachi didn’t open his eyes but
simply asked, "What?"
"Would it be alright if I hold your hand
for a while?"
Kawachi wasn’t in pain anymore, and he wasn’t
asking for help. The silence that followed made him wonder if his request was
unwelcome. Maybe he doesn’t want me to... He felt a little hurt and
regretted speaking up. But then, from beneath the sheets, Kawachi’s right hand
appeared, quietly offering itself.
That means it’s okay to hold his hand.
Inukai gently stroked Kawachi's hand, then took
it in his own and pressed it to his forehead. Over and over, he whispered,
"Thank you," each time with more gratitude. As he held his hand, the
warmth of their connection passed between them. We’re still connected,
he thought, feeling the heat from Kawachi’s hand. The joy that filled him was
indescribable, a happiness that seemed to overflow. His feelings softened, and
before he knew it, his eyelids grew heavy. Just a little... just a little...
he thought, but his consciousness began to fade.
The sound of distant murmuring roused him.
"Looks like your partner’s fallen
asleep."
A soft whisper. Whose voice is that?
"He’s been by my side the whole time... he
must be exhausted."
It was Kawachi’s voice.
"Such a kind partner."
Inukai felt his hand gently squeezed. He
realized that, despite everything, they were still holding hands. He had wanted
to keep holding on, pretending to sleep, but now he had to feign waking up when
his shoulder was shaken.
"Are you awake?"
He nodded. Kawachi, for some reason, smiled.
"You should go wash your face. You look
awful."
In the mirror in the washroom of the private
room, Inukai saw his reflection—his eyes were swollen from crying too much, his
face a mess. He used a damp handkerchief to cool his eyes before returning to
the room. When he came back, Kawachi asked him to check on Yuu, so he decided
to go home for a while.
When he opened the door to his apartment and
stepped inside, Sawako was waiting by the entrance, holding Yuu in her arms.
"He was born. A healthy baby boy."
Sawako smiled brightly. "Well, well,
that's good to hear." he gently took Yuu into his arms and hugged him. She
told Inukai that, even though they had been gone, Yuu hadn’t fussed and had
been a good boy the entire time.
Sawako added, "My husband went on a
fishing trip to Hokkaido with his friends and won't be back for a while, so I
can take care of Yuu-chan for as many nights as you need." There were
already extra bedding and clothes for Sawako in the house. Grateful for her
offer, Inukai agreed to let her take care of Yuu until the evening and left for
work.
Though he could have taken the day off, he felt
that since the birth had gone smoothly, he should take care of the few
remaining tasks at work. Despite the lack of sleep, the emotion of the birth
still lingered in his heart, and the exhaustion didn’t bring on any sleepiness.
Once his work was finished, he quickly left the office and, remembering the
experience from the previous day, took the train to the hospital.
Despite being sleep-deprived, even the ordinary
sights from the train seemed to sparkle with new light. At the transfer
station, there was a flower shop, and a small bouquet caught his eye—it was so
beautiful that, without realizing it, he had bought one.
When he arrived at the hospital, he could
already hear the baby’s distinctive cries coming from the room. He entered
quietly, and there, Kawachi was in the middle of nursing their newborn son.
Kawachi, holding their newborn, looked almost
regal, like a figure from a religious painting. When he noticed Inukai, he
asked, "Did you go to work?"
"Yes."
Inukai approached, holding out the bouquet.
Kawachi, showing a slight look of confusion, said, "Thank you."
Their tiny son, Kouta, was latched onto Kawachi’s
nipple, sucking intermittently. Inukai gently traced his son's small cheek with
a finger, and Kawachi smiled. "This little guy’s not very good at it,
huh?"
"He’s been nursing well, and I’m producing
enough milk..." Kawachi added, his voice full of tenderness.
Inukai sat down and continued to watch the
scene. Despite Kawachi’s soothing attempts, Kouta wasn’t able to latch
properly. Kawachi, gently rocking the baby, offered him to Inukai. "Do you
want to try holding him?"
Their son, not yet a day old, was incredibly
small, yet so warm and full of life. He’s so cute... so precious... so
lovable... Unable to resist, Inukai nuzzled his son’s cheek and kissed him
multiple times. But the baby suddenly began to cry loudly, and Kawachi gave
Inukai a wry smile.
"Hey, hey," he said, shaking his head
in mild amusement.
With a beloved partner and a cherished child,
Inukai was utterly fulfilled in this space where only happiness existed. If
only I could stay here forever, he thought, but he knew Yū was waiting for
him at home.
As they prepared to leave, Kouta was cradled
one last time, the sensation etched firmly into their arms. On the train ride
home, the happiness was relived over and over, turning it over in his mind,
thoughts swirling. Kawachi was overjoyed about the birth of their child. It was
heartening to see him interacting with such warmth and affection. And perhaps
because it was their second child, in stark contrast to Inukai’s flustered
state, Kawachi carried himself with calm composure, exuding an air of
confidence and ease.
A man who, just a few months ago, had been ready to
choose death over having sex with a man or becoming pregnant. For Kawachi,
childbirth shouldn’t have been a welcome event, yet now, he seemed to have
embraced it all.
But this was not the end. Once childbirth was
over, the heat cycle would return—a cycle for Kawachi that could only be
quelled through sex and insemination. Since contraceptives couldn’t be used,
pregnancy was almost certain. On the other hand, if pregnancy didn’t occur,
the heat cycle would likely come back every month.
With each child added—one, then another—the weight of
Kawachi’s shackles grew heavier. The more deeply he loved his children, the
harder it became to sever ties with this world.
Kawachi’s misfortune and his own desires
intertwined in a distorted, misshapen overlap. When would the next heat
cycle return? It hadn’t even been two months between cycles before, so it’ll
probably be around the same time again.
Soon, they would be able to love each other
again. No matter how much he resists, we will come together. A mate who
can only share love with him—his man, destined to bear his children. Waiting
eagerly for that day, I must look like a devil. Yet it was he who had
intentionally shaped their relationship this way. There was no turning back
now.
The illustration is really cute 🥰
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