Cow Thief: Chapter 11
Bamboo Fish
"Hanami
(flower viewing), you say?"
"Yes,"
Tokuma replied, placing the lamp on the small Western-style table between their
beds. The faint light reflected on the glass window. The air by the window was
cold. Though it was spring on the calendar, the nights were still chilly, and the
brick house made the cold seep in even more.
"You
went to collect samples at Gondo Mountain the other day, didn’t you?"
"I
did," Ryoichiro replied, sitting cross-legged on his bed with a thoughtful
stroke of his chin. Draped over his shoulders was a dark green dressing gown, a
find Tokuma had picked up at a curio shop. It was a foreign item, too long to
sell well and thus heavily discounted. Thinking it would suit Ryoichiro, Tokuma
had bought it, and now Ryoichiro wore it almost every night, delighted.
"The
wild cherry blossoms at the inner path are likely at their peak now,"
Tokuma suggested.
"Now
that you mention it, they probably are… But how do you know that? You haven’t
come with me on any of the recent outings."
"I
heard from Hara-san."
"Ah,"
Ryoichiro nodded lightly.
"That
noisy student is usually with me, so it might be nice to have a quiet outing
with just the two of us for a change. All right, let’s go for
hanami."
Tokuma
returned to his bed and sat on the edge.
"It
was actually Hara-san who suggested the hanami," he said.
"Why
would Hara invite you?"
"Not
just me. He invited you, Chie-san from next door, and himself—four of us in
total."
Hearing
Chie’s name, even the usually oblivious Ryoichiro seemed to catch on.
"Could
it be that Hara has feelings for Chie-san?"
"It
seems so," Tokuma confirmed.
"Ho,
ho," Ryoichiro let out a sound like an owl before frowning in irritation.
"Why didn’t he consult me about it?"
"We
spend so much time together at university and in the lab, yet he’s never
mentioned Chie even once. Why would he talk to you about her?"
"Maybe
he’s embarrassed? Besides, I talk to Chie-san often," Tokuma pointed
out.
"Even
so…" Ryoichiro’s expression showed he still wasn’t convinced.
"Perhaps
it’s because you tend to tease Hara-san," Tokuma said with a sigh.
"I
don’t tease him that much," Ryoichiro protested, pouting slightly.
"Yes,
yes," Tokuma replied dismissively, amused.
"I
think Hara-san simply wanted an opportunity to get closer to Chie-san. Asking
her to go out alone might feel awkward for both of them, so he thought inviting
us along would make it easier."
"But
doesn’t Chie-san already visit Hara every other day? Can’t he handle it on his
own?"
After his
near-death experience with the lustful camellia yokai, Hara had developed an
intense fear of women, refusing to hire even an elderly maid. However, with
Tokuma’s reassurance that Chie was no yokai and completely safe, Hara finally
agreed to let her help as a maid. Chie, a former courtesan, was a kind and
gentle woman, and Hara seemed to have finally fallen for a real, living woman
this time.
"Precisely
because she’s often nearby, it feels awkward for him. I’d really like to help Hara-san
in this matter," Tokuma said.
Ryoichiro
shrugged. "I don’t mind going for a hanami if it helps."
"The
commotion about the yokai happened last summer, didn’t it? And yet, after
saying he was done with women..."
"I
think it’s a good thing. Though I’m a bit concerned about the age difference
between Chie-san and Hara-san," Tokuma replied.
"Age
hardly matters, especially since this time, she’s human."
Given that
the first one was a yokai, Ryoichiro’s standards had become remarkably lax. He
let out a long sigh before rolling onto his bed. Seeing this, Tokuma asked,
"Shall I turn off the light?"
"By
the way, how are your feet?" Ryoichiro asked abruptly.
"My
feet?"
"You
burned them in the summer, remember? What happened after that?"
"The
soles healed. I believe you’ve seen them for yourself, Ryoichiro-san."
"Show
me again."
Still
sitting on his bed, Tokuma lifted both feet with an "ei!"
"I
can’t see them like that. Come over here."
…It felt
like an invitation. However, it might simply be that Ryoichiro genuinely wanted
to inspect his feet. Trying not to overthink, Tokuma moved closer to Ryoichiro’s
bed.
"Get
up here."
Following
his instructions, Tokuma climbed onto the bed and sat in a formal kneeling
position. Ryoichiro, however, shook with laughter.
"I
can’t see the soles of your feet sitting like that."
Feeling
awkward, Tokuma lowered his gaze and mumbled, "Excuse me, then,"
before adjusting his posture and extending his legs. Ryoichiro grabbed Tokuma’s
right ankle and suddenly lifted it high.
"Whoa!"
Tokuma let
out a small yelp as he toppled onto his back on the bed. Ryoichiro gently
stroked the sole of his foot, making Tokuma squirm from the ticklish
sensation.
"Ryoichiro-san,
please stop. This is inappropriate," Tokuma protested, hesitant to kick
for fear of causing injury.
At last, Ryoichiro
released his foot. But before Tokuma could relax, Ryoichiro’s large frame
leaned over him, pinning him down.
No matter
how much he loved the man, being gazed at so intently was overwhelming. Tokuma
turned his head to avoid his eyes. A kiss landed on his forehead, followed by
his cheek, the tip of his nose, and finally, his lips.
Their kiss
deepened, their tongues intertwining in a lingering embrace. Ryoichiro caressed
Tokuma’s hair and pressed his cheek against his in an almost tender way.
Quietly, Tokuma asked, "Do you intend to…?"
"Is it
a problem?" Ryoichiro murmured.
"No…
But may I turn off the light?"
Glancing at
the lamp, Ryoichiro replied softly, "There’s no need."
"Still..."
Tokuma began but stopped mid-sentence as he sneezed quietly.
"Are
you cold?"
"No,
not particularly."
Ryoichiro
reached out and lightly touched the shoulder of Tokuma’s thin robe.
"Do
you always wear so little? Don’t you feel cold?"
"I’m
used to it," Tokuma replied.
Ryoichiro
pulled Tokuma halfway upright and draped his own dressing gown over Tokuma’s
shoulders.
"But
now you’ll be cold, Ryoichiro-san."
"It
doesn’t matter," he said, adjusting the collar of the gown around
Tokuma.
Ryoichiro
then took Tokuma’s hand, holding it gently as if marveling at its warmth.
"Your
hands are warm," Ryoichiro said softly. He stroked Tokuma's right hand
gently before giving the palm a playful slap.
"I
gave that cheeky Kuwaba a good smack earlier," Ryoichiro remarked with a
smirk.
Tokuma
chuckled softly.
"Kuwaba
may come and go from my hand, but he doesn’t actually reside in my
palm."
Still
holding Tokuma’s hand, Ryoichiro guided it lower, resting it against the
firmness of his groin. His voice, low and heated, asked, "Will you... use
your hand for me?"
"Yes,"
Tokuma replied softly, his fingers moving to tend to Ryoichiro’s request,
fostering an intimacy that left both lost in the moment.
"Yes," Tokuma replied quietly. He reached
into Ryoichiro's pants, drawing out the source of his arousal and wrapping his
fingers around it. Slowly and tenderly, he began to move, coaxing it to its
full size. Watching the growing response in his hand filled him with a strange,
undeniable affection.
Ryoichiro’s expression, flushed with pleasure, carried
an undeniable allure that only deepened Tokuma’s longing.
"Ryoichiro-san."
"What is it?"
"If you don't mind, um..."
As Tokuma hesitated, Ryoichiro brushed a hand against
his cheek and said, "Spit it out clearly."
"Would it be alright if I... took this in my
mouth?"
Ryoichiro's eyes widened in surprise, clearly caught
off guard.
"If you dislike it, then it's fine. I apologize
for saying something strange."
"No, I don't mind at all."
Ryoichiro appeared surprised, and Tokuma briefly
considered stopping. However, he reasoned that if Ryoichiro truly disliked it,
he would stop him midway. Resolving himself, Tokuma brought his face closer to Ryoichiro's
lower abdomen. While he had been loved there by Ryoichiro before, this was the
first time he would take the initiative to reciprocate that affection.
There was
no hesitation in kissing it. As the tip was licked, Ryoichiro's hips shifted
slightly. Tracing around it with his tongue, he followed the curve, guiding it
into his mouth. Though it was a part of the same body, its upright firmness
radiated an incredible heat. Tokuma devoted himself passionately to loving Ryoichiro’s
manhood. When it was done to him, it was embarrassing but felt undeniably good.
He wanted Ryoichiro to feel the same, to experience pleasure directly. As he
licked the proud shaft, just that alone made his own lower body grow hot.
Without even being touched, he felt himself growing taut and firm.
"Tokuma,
that's enough."
His cheek
was caressed, prompting him to lift his face. Ryoichiro's manhood gleamed
slickly, coated with the saliva Tokuma had entwined around it. Ryoichiro’s
troubled, ambiguous expression caught his attention, and before he could stop
himself, Tokuma asked, “Did it not please you?”
“Where did
you learn to do that?”
Tokuma
lowered his gaze.
"Because
Ryoichiro-san often does it for me," Tokuma replied.
"That’s
not all, is it? Be honest—where did you learn it?"
Pressed in
a harsh tone, Tokuma wiped his damp mouth with the back of his hand. Feeling on
the verge of tears, he confessed, "From Chie-san."
"She,
well… said I was inexperienced when it came to, um… techniques of intimacy, and
she taught me various things."
Ryoichiro
let out a deep grunt of disapproval. Tokuma had thought trying it might bring
him joy, but realizing it only caused displeasure made him feel disheartened.
"I
apologize. I will never do it again."
"I'm
not saying I disliked it," Ryoichiro replied with a nuanced tone, as if
something was caught between his teeth, pulling Tokuma closer.
"Does
doing that make you feel good?"
Uncertain
of Ryoichiro’s intent, Tokuma tilted his head.
"When
you take mine into your mouth, do you feel pleasure?"
Tokuma
flushed red to his ears. Ryoichiro’s fingers stroked Tokuma’s hair as he buried
his face against Tokuma's shoulder.
"Be
honest. Do you feel good or not? Unless you say it, I won’t know."
There was
no way Tokuma could say such a thing. Just then, Ryoichiro’s fingers
intrusively fondled Tokuma's groin over his fundoshi, prompting an involuntary
squeak.
"You’re
hard here. Do you enjoy licking mine?"
As Ryoichiro
teased Tokuma's sensitive spot, he pressed for an answer. Shaking, Tokuma
finally nodded.
"Why
are you so embarrassed?" Ryoichiro chuckled softly near his ear.
"What
do you think of mine? Be honest."
"…Ryoichiro-san’s
is… very endearing," Tokuma murmured in a hoarse voice.
"Does
that mean it’s small?" Ryoichiro asked with feigned seriousness, causing
Tokuma to panic.
"No,
no, I think Ryoichiro-san’s is very… impressive."
"What
makes it impressive?"
"Well…
its… size…"
Finally,
Tokuma realized he was being teased. Ryoichiro’s shoulders shook slightly as he
tried to suppress his laughter, his lips tightly pressed together. Frustrated,
Tokuma slapped Ryoichiro’s shoulder firmly.
As their
playful exchange continued, Tokuma’s fundoshi was removed. A shiver ran down
his spine as he felt Ryoichiro’s hand stroking his rear and slowly exploring
inside. Rough fingers wiped away the fluid leaking from Tokuma’s tip as they
gently worked to open him up. As Ryoichiro's fingers moved in and out, Tokuma
endured the unfamiliar, tingling sensation with trembling knees.
Then, Ryoichiro
whispered softly into his ear.
"Does
this feel good too?"
When Tokuma
didn’t respond, his ear was licked, sending a fine tremor through his
shoulders.
"I…"
Tokuma
wrapped both arms around Ryoichiro's neck tightly.
"I
adore you, Ryoichiro-san."
"Ah."
"That’s
why… whatever you do to me makes me happy."
The moment
those words left his lips, the fingers teasing him withdrew. Ryoichiro gently
unwrapped Tokuma’s arms from his neck and then rolled onto his back on the bed.
"Tonight,
do as you please."
Tokuma was
at a loss for what was being asked of him.
"Make
me feel good however you like."
Ryoichiro’s
arousal stood tall, and Tokuma’s thoroughly teased body ached. Finally, he
grasped the meaning of Ryoichiro’s words.
"I-I
can’t!"
"Why
not? All you have to do is sit on me."
"But…"
"Show
me how you move when you take control."
Ryoichiro’s
fevered gaze bore into him. The thought of guiding Ryoichiro’s manhood himself
was mortifying and shameless. But when Ryoichiro said, "Show me,"
Tokuma found himself unable to refuse.
Straddling Ryoichiro's
abdomen on his knees, Tokuma aligned his hips over the rigid shaft. Placing his
hands on Ryoichiro’s stomach, he began to lower himself slowly. But as soon as
the heated tip touched his tight entrance, fear overwhelmed him, and he raised
his hips again.
Repeating
this several times, Tokuma hesitated over and over, until Ryoichiro finally
spoke up, "You’re being cruel."
"How
many times will you tease me?"
"I’m
not teasing you."
"Then
when will you finally give yourself to me?"
Pressed by
his words, Tokuma let the heated tip push into him. Though he had been loosened
to the point of tingling, the sensation of heat pressing inside still filled
him with fear, and it took some time for him to take all of Ryoichiro in.
"Tokuma,
move already," Ryoichiro urged in an impatient tone.
Determined,
Tokuma began to move his hips. He had always been the one sought after, the one
rocked by Ryoichiro, so taking the lead himself felt awkward and clumsy.
"Hah…
hah… nngh…"
Tokuma let
out soft gasps as he focused his strength into his hips. The bed creaked under
the movement. From the act of stirring himself up inside, a slow, creeping
pleasure began to bloom. Feeling the tension build at his core, Tokuma slipped
his right hand beneath his juban.
"That
won't do," Ryoichiro said, pulling his hand away. Tokuma’s face crumpled
as if he might cry.
"Why
not?"
"Can’t
you finish just by moving your hips?"
He had
never once climaxed without touching himself.
"…I
don’t know," Tokuma admitted.
"Then
try it."
Unable to
even comfort himself, Tokuma moved his hips restlessly, frustrated. Even as he
felt Ryoichiro release inside him, his own arousal remained taut, unable to
find release.
"Ryoichiro-san,"
Tokuma pleaded.
"What
is it?"
"Please…
I beg your permission," he said in a trembling voice.
"Permission
for what?" Ryoichiro asked.
"For…
using my hand…"
"Using
your hand for what?"
"To
relieve myself… please."
"Absolutely
not," Ryoichiro replied firmly. Tokuma bit his lip in frustration.
"But…
it’s unbearable," he confessed.
"Why
is it unbearable?"
"Because…
well…"
"What
exactly is unbearable? Say it," Ryoichiro pressed with a teasing murmur as
he deftly untied the sash of Tokuma’s juban. Pulling it open wide, he exposed
Tokuma’s arched and straining arousal, now directly in his line of sight. Ryoichiro
lightly flicked Tokuma’s tense desire with his fingertip.
"Ah!"
Tokuma let
out a small cry, arching his back. Even the slightest touch to his straining
core, denied direct contact, sent a wave of pleasure so intense it made his
whole body tremble.
"It
seems this feels good for you," Ryoichiro said.
"P-please
stop," Tokuma stammered, writhing as he glanced down at his lower body,
only to be startled by the sight. In the dim lamplight, the image reflected
back at him—his own body, joined deeply with the man he loved, his arousal
trembling and dripping nectar of pleasure with every touch—struck him as
unbearably shameful. The visibility of their union, so explicit and indecent,
exposed to the eyes of the man he adored, drained the heat from his body.
"N-no,
stop!"
Panicking,
Tokuma tried to break their connection, but Ryoichiro’s hands gripped his hips.
"Let
go! Please, let me go!"
"What’s
wrong all of a sudden?"
As Tokuma
struggled, their connection broke. But almost immediately, Ryoichiro pulled him
back, settling him onto his lap. The sensation of release spilling forth caused
Tokuma to clutch Ryoichiro’s shoulders tightly and let out a small cry. What he
had tried so hard to contain had spilled—of all places, on Ryoichiro’s lap. He
usually managed to clean up discreetly, but now, at this moment, he had failed
miserably again. Wanting to clean the mess, Tokuma looked around, only to
realize there was no cloth in sight. Covering his face with both hands, he felt
tears welling up from the overwhelming shame and frustration.
"What’s
wrong? Why are you crying?" Ryoichiro asked.
"Because…
showing you such a disgraceful sight makes me feel pathetic."
"It’s
not disgraceful. You’re adorable."
"I am
not adorable! I’m a shameless person!" Tokuma cried, shaking his head in
despair. Ryoichiro pulled him close and kissed him. The gentle movements of Ryoichiro’s
tongue comforted Tokuma, who hesitantly responded in kind.
"I
might be a deviant," Ryoichiro murmured softly, stroking Tokuma’s hair.
"Why
would you say that?" Tokuma asked, still flushed.
"Because
seeing you overcome with shame excites me."
Tokuma,
still red-faced, stammered, "P-please let me fetch a cloth."
"A
cloth?" Ryoichiro questioned.
"I
made a mess on your lap. Please allow me to clean it," Tokuma pleaded.
"It’s
fine. It’ll just get messy again anyway."
"But…"
"Are
you planning to only let me enjoy you once?" Ryoichiro asked with a
mischievous glance upward. Tokuma shook his head.
"No,"
he replied softly.
Ryoichiro
grinned. "When you made that mess on my lap, you looked incredibly
cute."
Tokuma’s
ears burned bright red as he bit his lip in embarrassment. His innocent
reactions, entirely unaware of how much they delighted Ryoichiro, only served
to heighten the older man’s pleasure.
◇:-:◆:-:◇
The day they decided to go flower viewing, the
distant landscape was hazy, but the weather was pleasant. Chie had prepared
lunch for four, and Hara carried supplies such as a picnic blanket and
thermoses. Despite it being a flower-viewing excursion, Ryoichiro had a satchel
slung over his shoulder, and Tokuma had been tasked with carrying a field
notebook. Observing this, Hara, slightly exasperated, remarked, "Sensei
really doesn’t change, does he?"
Gondo Mountain was a gentle slope but still
quite tall. Ryoichiro, Tokuma, and Hara, accustomed to mountain trekking, were
unfazed, but the uneven animal trails proved a bit challenging for Chie.
However, Ryoichiro’s frequent stops along the way provided her with welcome
breaks.
“Oh, what a lovely violet,” Chie exclaimed
during one of Ryoichiro’s many detours, pointing to a violet near the stone she
was resting on.
“That’s a common violet,” Hara said, crouching
next to her and lightly flicking the delicate flower with his finger.
“You’re wrong, Hara-kun. That’s a sweet
violet,” Ryoichiro corrected as he approached the two, plucking one pale purple
flower. “Look at the stem—it's covered in fine hairs. And, most importantly,
it’s fragrant.”
Hara, embarrassed, muttered, “Ah, you’re
right,” while Chie brought the violet closer to her nose and exclaimed, “Oh, it
really does smell lovely.”
“As expected of a professor,” Chie said with
genuine admiration, and Ryoichiro puffed up with pride. Watching them from
under a tree, Tokuma called out to Ryoichiro.
“Ryoichiro-san… don’t get in the way.”
“I’m not getting in the way,” Ryoichiro
replied.
“You should give them some space to be alone.”
“But he got the name wrong. I couldn’t just let
it go.”
At this moment, Tokuma thought that the
flower’s name hardly mattered, but knowing he’d be scolded if he voiced that,
he grabbed Ryoichiro’s wrist.
“I spotted some Tosakobaimo over there. They
were common in the countryside, but it’s the first time I’ve seen them here on Gondo
Mountain.”
“What? Where?” Ryoichiro’s interest was
immediately piqued as Tokuma led him into the undergrowth. Beneath the faint
yellow-green petals of the Tosakobaimo, with their delicate purple markings,
was Kuwaba, lounging.
“Move aside, Kuwaba,” Ryoichiro commanded,
shooing him away with his hand. For some reason, Kuwaba, now in the form of a
cat, had tagged along on this flower-viewing trip. Ever since his injury, Kuwaba
had found it less boring to remain in his feline form, often opting to roam
around rather than return to Tokuma’s hand.
Kuwaba flashed a mischievous grin with his cat
face and then, with a snap, devoured the Tosakobaimo’s lily-like delicate
flower.
"You little…!"
Ryoichiro raised his right hand, but Kuwaba
flicked his tail mockingly and darted off. With his face bright red, Ryoichiro
gave chase. Kuwaba’s idea of “not being bored” seemed to revolve entirely
around teasing Ryoichiro, much to the concern of those watching. However, Ryoichiro
wasn’t one to hold grudges, and despite his grumbling, it was clear he had a
soft spot for Kuwaba.
After much dawdling along the way, they finally
arrived under the mountain cherries just before noon.
"How beautiful. It was worth the
walk," Chie said, shading her eyes from the sunlight with one hand and
smiling warmly.
The hill, sparsely dotted with about ten
mountain cherry trees, was in full bloom, with petals already starting to fall.
When the breeze blew, the delicate petals fluttered gracefully to the ground.
The group spread out a large blanket on the flat area, sat down, and admired
the blossoms. Kuwaba, who had disappeared after being chased by Ryoichiro,
reappeared out of nowhere and nuzzled against Chie with a soft
"meow."
"Isn’t this Sensei’s little Kuwaba? Did he
tag along?" Chie stroked Kuwaba, who purred loudly in response.
Not wanting to wrestle with the cat in Chie’s
presence, Ryoichiro pursed his lips in a sullen pout. Kuwaba, apparently
finding it endlessly entertaining to annoy and frustrate Ryoichiro,
occasionally let his grinning expression slip back into his oni-like form,
forcing Tokuma to quickly click his tongue in warning.
Fully sulking now, Ryoichiro flopped onto his
back on the blanket and rested his head heavily on Tokuma’s lap, closing his
eyes. Even after adopting a Western lifestyle with stiff shoes and hard
surfaces, Ryoichiro often requested Tokuma’s lap for a pillow, declaring it
more comfortable than anything else.
But now they weren’t alone, and having one man
rest his head on another’s lap felt odd. Sure enough, Chie and Hara glanced
over with barely suppressed smiles. Both of them already knew Tokuma was more
like a wife to Ryoichiro than anything else, so it wasn’t exactly a secret, but
Tokuma couldn’t help but feel a twinge of resentment toward his master’s lack
of discretion.
"Chie-san, there’s a lovely brook a little
way down from here," Hara offered, clearly trying to help. "The Dutch
iris grows there, a beautiful white flower. Would you like to see it?"
Chie agreed, and the two made their way toward
the riverbank, disappearing from view. Their thoughtfulness was a relief, and
Tokuma was quietly grateful.
Even after they left, Ryoichiro remained
motionless, his eyes closed as if he were truly asleep. Shadows of cherry
blossoms danced across his face, and the spring breeze gently swayed his
slightly long hair. In the distance, a bird chirped cheerfully. The moment felt
peaceful and serene.
A pale pink petal, as delicate as a butterfly’s
wing, drifted down and landed on Ryoichiro’s cheek. Tokuma carefully reached to
pick it off, but as soon as he touched it, Ryoichiro’s eyes flickered open.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Tokuma
asked.
"It’s fine. I wasn’t asleep," Ryoichiro
replied as he sat up and wrapped an arm around Tokuma’s shoulder, leaning his
face toward Tokuma’s neck.
"You shouldn’t, Ryoichiro-san. What if the
others come back…?" Tokuma protested, but despite his words, Ryoichiro
began sucking on his neck, causing Tokuma’s face to flush deeply.
"I don’t mind if they see," Ryoichiro
said with a sly grin. "Hara-kun clearly wanted some time alone with
Chie-san, but I also wanted to be alone with you."
His fingers intertwined with Tokuma’s, teasing and
deliberate. Though they didn’t remove their clothes, they continued exchanging
touches and kisses endlessly. In a brief lull between kisses, Ryoichiro’s
stomach let out a loud growl.
"I’m hungry. Those two are taking their
time. Surely they’re not… getting intimate in the bushes, are they?"
That seemed unlikely, but Tokuma was also
beginning to wonder why they were taking so long.
"I can endure hunger, but I’m
parched," Ryoichiro said.
The water in their thermoses had been emptied
on the way up. After some hesitation, Tokuma and Ryoichiro decided to head down
to the brook to see what was keeping them. They walked along a narrow path
lined with blooming thistles, and as they approached the babbling stream, they
spotted Hara and Chie sitting side by side. The Dutch irises blooming by the water
swayed gently in the breeze.
"I appreciate your feelings, Hara-san. To
think you’d say you like someone as old as me," Chie said.
Tokuma and Ryoichiro froze in their tracks,
stopping just short of calling out.
"Chie-san, you’re not old," Hara
replied.
Chie tilted her head back slightly and laughed.
"Ahaha, I’m already thirty. That makes me a proper old woman. You’re
twenty-one, Hara-san. You should be looking for someone younger."
"I don’t want anyone else. I want you,
Chie-san," Hara said, his voice resolute.
"Thank you, but older women like me… men
usually grow tired of us quickly. Not that I mean you in particular, but men
are often that way."
"I would never stray."
Chie fell silent for a moment. "You might
make a good husband someday, Hara-san. But I wouldn’t be a good match for
you."
"Do you dislike younger men by nine years,
Chie-san?" Hara asked, desperate and persistent. The atmosphere was too
tense for Tokuma to interrupt with questions about food or water.
"Hara-san," Chie began quietly,
"I used to work as a courtesan in Yoshiwara."
Hara, who had been so talkative moments before,
fell silent. Even Ryoichiro, apparently unaware of this part of Chie’s past,
stood with his mouth slightly open. Tokuma, too, had never shared this detail
with him.
"I was bought out by an older
gentleman," Chie continued, "but he passed away two years ago. He was
much older, with many grandchildren. It was inevitable, really."
"Do you still love him?" Hara asked.
"My relationship with him wasn’t as a man
and a woman. It was more like parent and child. He was a wealthy retired man
who needed a caretaker, and I wanted to leave that line of work. It suited both
of us," Chie said, standing up and walking closer to the stream.
"Ah, there’s bamboo grass here," she
said, gazing at the water. "In my hometown, the elders used to say fallen
bamboo leaves turn into fish like iwana in the river. I wonder if that’s
true."
Still looking at the water, she spoke as if to
no one in particular.
"…Bamboo leaves do not turn into
iwana," Hara said, standing up abruptly.
"I don’t care about your past,
Chie-san," he declared, his voice firm. "In this era of civilization
and enlightenment, judging someone for their past is nonsensical. As for age,
in forty years, we’ll all be so wrinkled that no one will know who’s who
anyway."
Hara’s shoulders were tense, his fists clenched
as if holding back the weight of his emotions.
"Chie-san, how do you see me?" Hara
asked.
"I see you as a kind young man," she
replied.
"You don’t see me as a man?"
Tokuma tugged lightly at Ryoichiro’s shirt,
silently urging him to return under the cherry trees. The two were about to
turn back when Chie spoke again.
"I think you’re a good man. But even if I
were ten years younger, and even if I liked you, I wouldn’t marry you."
"That doesn’t make sense. If you like me,
why…?" Hara’s voice trailed off as Chie tossed a pebble into the stream
with a small splash.
"I can’t have children," she
murmured. Her softly tied hair swayed as a gentle breeze caught the stray
strands at the nape of her neck.
"There are plenty of couples without
children," Hara said firmly.
"Knowing that from the start and not
knowing until later are different things," Chie replied. "When I was
younger, some men I got close to said they didn’t mind if I couldn’t have
children, but they all left me in the end. The man who bought me out of
Yoshiwara had many children and grandchildren and was tired of seeing babies’
faces. It was convenient for both of us."
"That’s not fair," Hara said with a
bitter edge. "If you dismiss it as impossible from the start, nothing can
happen. I’m not afraid of anything anymore. I know your past, and I know you
now."
"Hara-san, I’m a greedy woman," Chie
said plainly. "If a man says he loves me, I need him to love all of me.
Even if you’re fine with it now, can you say you’ll never want children in the
future?"
Her voice was resolute, unwavering.
"Five years from now… ten years from now,
if you find yourself wanting a child even once, I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
That’s how greedy and narrow-minded I am."
Hara had no response. He couldn’t bring himself
to say, "That will never happen," because he wasn’t insincere, nor
could he dismiss her concerns with, "That’s just how it is."
Only the sound of the flowing stream filled the
silence. Tokuma unconsciously tightened his grip on Ryoichiro’s shirt.
Suddenly, Ryoichiro grabbed Tokuma’s hand,
stomped through the grass with deliberate steps, and declared loudly, "I’m
starving." Both Chie and Hara turned in surprise.
"So this is where you were. Let’s eat
already. I’m getting hungry," Ryoichiro announced, walking past them to
the brook. He drank from the water and washed his hands without giving either
of them another glance.
"You know, I’m hungry too," Chie
said, standing and pressing her hands to her back. "Isn’t that right,
Hara-san?"
"Yes," Hara replied awkwardly, and
the four returned to the cherry trees to eat. They shared Chie’s homemade rice
balls, tamagoyaki, and simmered kombu.
Before long, Kuwaba appeared out of nowhere,
meowing loudly. Ryoichiro, wearing a grim expression, tossed a half-eaten piece
of tamagoyaki his way. Although Kuwaba had previously only eaten things like
yokai or supernatural creatures, he had recently begun to develop a taste for
human food, indulging in increasingly unsavory habits.
Chie seemed unchanged from when they had
arrived, but Hara’s expression was noticeably darker. After the meal, Chie
announced she would wash the chopsticks and headed back to the brook.
Remembering that the thermos was empty, Tokuma followed after her to refill it.
"Tokusan, was this flower viewing
Hara-san's idea?"
Chie asked as she washed the chopsticks by the
brook.
"Yes."
"I figured, with the way that young man
talks, he’s sweet on me. But it’s no good."
Chie’s expression was calm and straightforward.
Unlike Hara, she carried the composure of someone who had navigated many
romances and survived countless emotional trials. Squatting by the riverside,
Chie suddenly let out a small cry.
"Tokusan, look at that!"
Tokuma followed her pointing finger to the
riverbank. A bamboo leaf dangling into the water moved strangely, defying the
current. Before long, the leaf took on the shape of an iwana fish, detached
from the branch, and with a splash, swam away.
It seemed like a yokai… but harmless, the sort
that didn’t even need Kuwaba to take care of it. Just as Ryoichiro attracted
all manner of yokai and spirits, perhaps Chie, with the likes of the camellia
and now the iwana, shared a similar magnetism.
"Hara-san really is hopeless, isn’t he?
Maybe bamboo leaves do turn into iwana after all," Chie said with a
playful shake of the branch. Yet, no other leaves transformed, merely spinning
gently before drifting downstream.
"You should find a nice girl for
Hara-san," Chie said softly. "Not right away, but someone sweet. He’s
serious, so I’m sure he’d make a good husband."
She suddenly let out a chuckle. "Come to
think of it, Tokusan, your husband is like a child who never grew up, isn’t he?
Must be a lot of work."
"He’s kind," Tokuma replied.
"Anyone can see that. He’s completely in
love with you," Chie said, her voice carrying a hint of teasing. She
leaned in conspiratorially. "By the way, did you try that thing I taught
you?"
Tokuma looked down, silent and flustered.
"Oh? Did it not go well? I’ve never met a
man who didn’t like it," Chie said with a grin.
"…He seemed to enjoy it," Tokuma
admitted, his ears turning bright red. Chie laughed again and turned her gaze
to the hazy sky.
"In the past, if a man I liked left me or
was stolen away, I’d lose my mind. I’d throw tantrums, scream that I wanted to
die. But as I’ve gotten older, maybe because I’ve drifted away from matters of
the heart, I don’t get so carried away anymore."
Chie murmured, almost to herself, "I’d
like to see Hara-san’s child."
"I used to hate the sight of other
people’s children," she added. "But I think I’d like to see his.
Maybe I’ve softened."
Her quiet sigh was swept away by the warm
spring breeze.
◇:-:◆:-:◇
On the way back from the flower viewing, Hara
spoke less than usual but did not fall completely silent. Though he was surely
disheartened from being turned down, it seemed he was trying to act as normal
as possible, perhaps to avoid burdening Chie. Despite Ryoichiro and Tokuma
being present, Hara took a detour to escort Chie all the way to her longhouse.
"Thank you. I had a lovely time
today," Chie said with a smile before retreating into her room.
"Hara-kun, why don’t you come by my
place?" Ryoichiro called out, stopping Hara as he was about to leave.
"I feel like drinking tonight. Keep me
company."
Half-urged, half-dragged, Hara was brought into
the living room by Ryoichiro. Tokuma hurried to the kitchen. Ryoichiro drank
occasionally, but not often, and never in large quantities. As expected, the
sake bottle in the house was nearly empty. Clutching his wallet, Tokuma quietly
informed Ryoichiro, "I’ll go buy more sake," and slipped out the
door.
Ryoichiro and Hara would likely drink through
the night. If the topic of plants came up, the two could talk endlessly without
running out of things to say. And knowing Ryoichiro, he would drink and pour
for Hara, talk endlessly about plants, but avoid addressing the most important
matters. That was the kind of man he was.
With spring dust swirling along the path,
Tokuma quickened his pace toward the sake shop.
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