Goodnight, See You Tomorrow: Chapter 5

Previous TOC Next

At the nurse’s station, Tsugumi asked for the room number and headed toward the end of the hallway. As he approached an open sliding door to a shared four-person room, he heard a familiar voice.

“This year’s okra is thicker than last year’s, don’t you think? The stickiness is top-notch too.”

It was Sakutaro. So, meeting at the apartment really was my misunderstanding, Tsugumi realized.

“Um, hello…”

He stepped into the room hesitantly. Sakutaro turned to him, but before Tsugumi could apologize for being late:

“Huh? What’s going on?” Sakutaro looked surprised, and Tsugumi froze mid-step.

“Grandpa, this is the person I always talk about—Tsugumi Endou,” Sakutaro introduced.

The older man turned his gaze to Tsugumi. His hair was cut short and white, his deeply lined face gave the impression of a foreign dignitary. He didn’t look much like Sakutaro.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Endou, the new tenant on the second floor. I’m grateful for all your help…”

“Oh, let’s not be so formal. That’s not my style. Sorry for the delayed introduction; as you can see, I’m a bit tied up here. I’m the landlord of the Kouya apartment, Sakutaro’s grandfather.”

Though in pajamas, he exuded an air of dignity and ease.

“Um, this is for you,” Tsugumi said, holding out a bag of fruit as a get-well gift.

“Well, thank you,” the grandfather replied, accepting it. “Sakutaro, put this in the fridge. And get Tsugumi-san one of those chilled jellies. Not that one! That’s the one from my lunch bonus. The blue one from Shōyōdō. Yes, that’s it.”

“You’re really bossy, Grandpa.” Sakutaro handed the jelly to Tsugumi. “Here, Tsugumi-san. It’s from the get-well gifts, but have some. It’s been hot today, right? Thanks for coming all this way. It was a surprise.”

What?

“I’ll give you a ride back. I’ve got my light truck with me,” Sakutaro added, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. It seemed he’d completely forgotten about their original plans, leaving Tsugumi momentarily dumbfounded.

“Um, Sakutaro-san,” Tsugumi began hesitantly, but Sakutaro tilted his head quizzically.

“Ah, no, it’s nothing,” Tsugumi backtracked. This is a hospital room—there’s no point bringing it up here.

“So, Tsugumi-san, I hear you’re a writer?” the grandfather asked.

“Yes, though I’m not very successful,” Tsugumi admitted.

“As long as you have the ambition, that’s enough for a writer,” the grandfather declared firmly. His confident tone made Tsugumi feel embarrassed about his earlier self-deprecation.

“Well, I suppose it’d be better if you were more successful, though,” the older man added with a chuckle. Tsugumi couldn’t help but laugh too.

“Now, sit down and eat before it warms up.”

Thanking him, Tsugumi sat on a folding chair and opened the lid of the jelly. Inside the glass bowl was a translucent dessert in a shade between green and blue, with a tiny red fish-shaped bean paste embedded in it—a summer treat resembling a goldfish bowl. It’s definitely seasonal, Tsugumi thought as he dipped a spoon into it.

The moment he took a bite, a cool, refreshing aroma filled his senses. It was mint. Tsugumi wasn’t particularly fond of mint, but he quietly ate it out of politeness. Then the grandfather spoke.

“Do you dislike peppermint?”

Startled, Tsugumi wondered if his face had given him away.

“No, it’s delicious,” he lied.

“Don’t worry; I don’t like it either. Tastes like toothpaste. So I understand,” the grandfather said casually.

“Grandpa, are you giving him something you don’t even like?” Sakutaro frowned.

“You fool. If someone enjoys eating it, then food serves its purpose, doesn’t it? But if Tsugumi-san doesn’t like it, that’s no good either. Tsugumi-san, hand it over to Sakutaro. Sakutaro, get another jelly from the fridge—the mandarin or peach one. Which do you prefer, Tsugumi-san?”

“Ah, peach.”

The grandfather spoke with such natural ease that Tsugumi answered without hesitation.

I like this man, Tsugumi thought instinctively. He had only exchanged a few words with him, but he felt a strong sense of fondness.

The rest of the visit passed pleasantly. They chatted about the apartment’s design, the vegetable garden, and even how Sakutaro had been named after the poet Hagiwara Sakutaro. Before they knew it, the day had turned to evening.

“Sorry for staying so long.”

“Not at all. I had a great time after so long. Stop by again when you have the chance.”

With a heartfelt nod, Tsugumi left the hospital room with Sakutaro. However, by the time they reached the elevator, Tsugumi realized he’d left his shirt draped over the back of a chair.

“I’ll go get it. Sakutaro-san, go on ahead.”

“I’ll wait for you in the lobby,” Sakutaro replied.

When Tsugumi returned to the room, the grandfather was propping himself up in bed, reaching for the forgotten shirt.

“Oh, I was going to ask Sakutaro to bring it next time, but…”

Apologizing, Tsugumi bowed and retrieved the shirt. As he turned to leave, the grandfather called out.

“Tsugumi-san.”

Startled, Tsugumi turned around to meet a steady, piercing gaze. Straightening instinctively, he stood at attention. Then, the older man softened his expression with a faint sigh.

“Tsugumi-san, please, take care of Sakutaro.”

“Huh?”

“Lately, all he talks about is you. He says being with you puts him at ease. Sakutaro seems dependable, but he’s prone to making big mistakes from time to time. He also has a forgetful streak. If he ever does something out of line, don’t hesitate to scold him.”

“Oh, no, if anything, Sakutaro-san has always been helping me…”

“Sakutaro is an honest man at heart. Please don’t abandon him; stay by his side.”

The grandfather bowed deeply, with a sincerity that transcended mere affection for a grandson. The warm glow of the setting sun filtered through the curtains, and its light amplified the weight of his words, pressing into Tsugumi with an undeniable intensity.

“…Yes, I understand,” Tsugumi finally said.

Relieved, the grandfather raised his head and offered a gentle smile.

When Tsugumi reached the lobby, Sakutaro had already brought the small truck around to the front entrance. After climbing into the passenger seat, he apologized for the delay, and they set off. The main street was congested with evening traffic as Sakutaro steered the wheel.

“I was surprised today. You just showed up out of the blue,” Sakutaro said, glancing over.

Tsugumi’s chest tightened.

“But Grandpa looked really happy.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah. It’s rare for him to talk that much. He’s always been into books, even when he was younger. Though honestly, your conversation was so deep, I couldn’t keep up. But just watching the two of you enjoy yourselves was enough for me. Oh, and now I know you don’t like mint.”

“I had fun too. I’d like to visit again soon.”

“Grandpa would love that. But next time, make sure to let me know, okay?”

Tsugumi nodded, feigning calm, though internally, he felt the sting of disappointment. That Sakutaro had completely forgotten their plans left him feeling embarrassed. Saying something now would feel like reproach, so he kept quiet, but the realization stung.

When the others had teased them about being a couple, Tsugumi had brushed it off as ridiculous. But to claim he’d never entertained the idea, even fleetingly, would’ve been a lie. It was like waking from a pleasant dream, thinking that was nice, only to remember that dreams reveal what lies buried in the subconscious. Maybe, somewhere deep inside, he’d been harboring a foolish, unwarranted hope. The thought left him laughing ruefully at himself—how pathetic, to feel this way about someone so much younger.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, just... a few things.”

As the car stopped at a red light, Tsugumi found his gaze drifting out the windshield. On the crosswalk ahead, the rhythm of everyday life played out. Young couples holding hands despite the August heat. Office workers, jackets slung over their shoulders, chatting about heading to a beer garden after work. A mother with shopping bags in one hand, walking with her child in tow. People from all walks of life, bustling about. And yet, Tsugumi felt oddly out of place, as though he alone had been excluded from their shared world.

Will I ever be part of that circle again?

The thought floated as he stared blankly at the passing scene. Then, his gaze locked on something—or rather, someone—who appeared within the frame.

There, crossing the intersection, was Shinjin. Walking beside him was a young woman, her outfit modestly elegant despite the summer heat. A neatly tailored skirt accentuated her long, graceful legs. She was laughing softly, talking about something that seemed to brighten the air between them.

The light turned green, and the car rolled forward. Tsugumi craned his neck, instinctively glancing back.

“Did you see someone you know?” Sakutaro asked, glancing over.

Startled, Tsugumi quickly faced forward.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Shinjin.”

The words tumbled out before he could stop them.

“It’s been a while, so I was surprised. He was with a woman. They looked happy—good for him.”

He spoke too quickly, the words spilling out as if to fill the uncomfortable gap in his chest. Happy for him, he told himself, though the phrase rang hollow. He felt burdened by his own insincerity, that annoying awareness of his unresolved feelings. Scrambling for a distraction, he groped for another topic to steer the conversation away.

“What should I make for dinner tonight?” Sakutaro asked, his tone light and easy, bridging the silence effortlessly.

Tsugumi glanced over, grateful for the save.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

On the way back to the apartment, Tsugumi remembered he was out of bread for tomorrow. He asked Sakutaro to drop him off in front of the supermarket. While there, he bought shaved ice—one matcha with vanilla and one strawberry. Carrying a plastic bag with dry ice, he strolled leisurely toward home.

Passing by the park, he couldn’t resist his thirst any longer and sat on a bench to eat the matcha shaved ice. A cool sensation ran through his body, but it didn’t quench his thirst. He opened the strawberry one next. Both flavors tasted surprisingly similar—just cold and sweet—but his thirst lingered.

Artificially colored green and red. My tongue is probably stained some weird color now.

Without a mirror to check, he could only imagine.

He recalled stopping by this park on his way home from seeing Shinjin before. It felt like he hadn’t grown much since then. Why is that? There’ve been good moments too.

He had met Sakutaro’s grandfather today. The apartment’s residents had thrown him a welcoming party. The white butterfly in the night, the ℃-shaped star, the heart-shaped cucumber—all small but joyful moments. He had thought those little things would accumulate, gradually pushing away the pain and old memories. And they had, to some extent—he had been thinking of Shinjin less often.

But just one fleeting encounter had upended everything. Days spent trying to forget, acting as though nothing was wrong, were instantly undone. It wasn’t that he still loved or even liked Shinjin—it was simply that he was hit anew with the realization: I spent ten years with someone, and now I’m alone.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been staring down when he felt someone’s presence diagonally behind him.

“…Sakutaro?”

He called the name without turning.

“How do you always know before you even look?”

Sakutaro’s voice was a mix of amusement and exasperation.

“Just a feeling,” Tsugumi replied with a teary laugh as Sakutaro approached and sat beside him.

“You were out late. I got a little worried,” Sakutaro said, glancing at the two empty shaved ice cups.

“You ate both by yourself?”

“Yeah. Matcha and strawberry.”

“Stick out your tongue.”

“Why?”

“It’s probably some weird color.”

Their shared thought process made Tsugumi chuckle quietly.

“Tsugumi, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

When Tsugumi asked, Sakutaro hesitated, seemingly searching for the right words.

“I had my phone off at the hospital. When I got home, I heard your message…”

This is Tsugumi. What about the visit?

“Did we have plans today?”

Sakutaro looked genuinely confused, and Tsugumi felt a pang of dissonance. How could he have forgotten something they’d clearly agreed upon? Then he remembered Sakutaro’s grandfather’s words: He looks reliable, but he sometimes makes big mistakes. He’s forgetful, so if he does something inconsiderate, don’t hesitate to scold him. He’s a straightforward person at heart—please don’t give up on him.

“…I’m really sorry. To completely blow off a promise and then act like nothing happened…”

“Don’t worry about it. Everyone has lapses sometimes.”

Although lapse felt like an understatement, Sakutaro had come to the park out of concern, and now he was apologizing earnestly. That alone tipped the scales of Tsugumi’s feelings toward gratitude.

"But if you hadn’t left me that message, I wouldn’t have apologized. You’re so kind, Tsugumi-san, you wouldn’t have said anything. But deep down, you’d think I’m a careless guy."

"I wouldn’t think that about you."

"If it kept happening, you would."

That might be true. But it’s not like people forget things so completely, like erasing something with a rubber eraser, over and over again. The fact that Sakutaro was so upset about it revealed a surprisingly anxious side to him.

"It’s fine. It was just a little slip-up today. You apologized, so let’s put it behind us. How about we head back? If you haven’t eaten yet, we can grab dinner together."

As Tsugumi stood up, Sakutaro grabbed his arm.

"Sakutaro-san?"

"I like you, Tsugumi-san."

Tsugumi couldn’t react immediately.

"I like you, but that’s all it is. I don’t expect anything more than that."

"…Ah."

So it’s not that kind of “like.”

Of course not. A failing novelist in his mid-thirties wasn’t going to somehow end up with a wonderful man eight years younger than him. It wasn’t impossible, but the odds were astronomically low. Keeping a firm grip on reality was important. Otherwise, you’d just come across as delusional.

Even so, in fleeting moments like earlier, Tsugumi sometimes found himself dreaming.

He crouched down so their eyes were level.

"I get it, Sakutaro-san. If you’re okay with it, let’s keep being friends—"

"That’s not it."

The words came out in a sudden, almost snatched tone. Sakutaro’s grip tightened on Tsugumi’s arm.

"That’s not what I mean."

He hung his head, shaking it in frustration, as though completely lost.

"Sakutaro-san?"

Tsugumi leaned forward, peering up into Sakutaro’s downcast face. But Sakutaro turned away. In the dim light, Tsugumi thought he saw something red at the corner of his lips. His chest stirred uneasily.

Is he biting his lip so hard it’s bleeding?

"Did something happen?"

Sakutaro didn’t answer.

"I’ve been wondering for a while now. Sakutaro-san, are you dealing with something? I didn’t want to pry, but if you ever need someone to listen, I’m here."

Sakutaro still didn’t reply. But his grip on Tsugumi’s arm only tightened, his trembling transferring through his hand. It was starting to hurt.

"Sorry, I can’t tell you," Sakutaro murmured, shaking his head as he trembled.

"I can’t say it, but… can you stay like this for a while?"

Tsugumi didn’t understand why Sakutaro was in this state. He didn’t understand at all.

So, with his free hand, Tsugumi gently pulled Sakutaro close, cradling his head.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Under the cover of night, they walked back to the apartment holding hands. Even when they reached the softly lit entrance gate, Sakutaro didn’t let go of Tsugumi’s hand. His grip was almost childlike, as if afraid of being left behind. A distant memory surfaced in Tsugumi’s mind.

“I’m off. Be a good boy, Tsugumi.”

When leaving for his night shifts, Tsugumi’s father would always wave at the door.

“Take care, Dad. Good luck.”

Tsugumi would wave back with a smile, but he had always felt so lonely. Nights spent alone were scary and filled with unease. He had wanted to beg his father not to leave, to stay and read with him until he fell asleep. But he couldn’t say it. Even as a child, Tsugumi had understood too well that his father worked hard for his sake.

Now, seeing Sakutaro like this, Tsugumi felt an odd sense of overlap with his younger self.

"Sakutaro-san, let’s go."

Tsugumi led him by the hand to the back of the building, where the garden and kitchen entrance were.

"Open it," he said. At the door, Sakutaro pulled a key from his pocket. This entrance led to the part of the building that housed Sakutaro’s grandfather’s quarters, now used by Sakutaro himself.

"It’s fine. I’ll stay with you tonight."

They stepped into the dark room without turning on the lights. Immediately, Sakutaro hugged him tightly. His voice, a faint "Thank you," was so fragile that Tsugumi instinctively patted his back twice, trying to comfort him. But Sakutaro’s legs gave way, and they both collapsed onto the floor.

"Sakutaro-san, are you okay? Did you hurt your knees or—"

"…I’m scared."

His voice was barely a whisper, so faint Tsugumi almost missed it.

Tsugumi didn’t ask, Of what? There was no need. Whatever it was, Sakutaro was clearly too overwhelmed to say it out loud. Instead, Tsugumi hugged him tightly, only for Sakutaro to suddenly shift his weight.

Their lips met, Sakutaro pressing down with his entire weight. The pressure forced the air out of Tsugumi’s lungs. It was suffocating, but he didn’t resist. Instead, he deepened the kiss.

In the heavy, humid summer air, sweat began to form on their skin. As their bodies moved against each other, both became acutely aware of the tension building in their groin.

If I’m going to stop this, now is the last chance.

Their gazes met in the dim light, their faces just visible. Neither spoke, nor did they give explicit permission, but an understanding passed between them. Slowly, they leaned in and kissed again. This time, Sakutaro’s tongue brushed against Tsugumi’s lips. When Tsugumi welcomed it, drawing it in, a soft, wet sound echoed.

"…Your clothes," Sakutaro murmured.

That was all it took. Tsugumi sat up and began undressing in the dark.

Sakutaro’s body was lean and well-defined, with broad shoulders tapering into a slender waist. His taut muscles moved fluidly under his skin, radiating a raw, understated sensuality. His hands reached out and pulled Tsugumi closer.

Their sweat-dampened skin clung to each other as they embraced on the tatami. Just then, the sound of a door opening in the neighboring room made them freeze.

"Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Just wait a bit. Ten minutes tops," came a voice—Kudou’s. His hurried footsteps echoed as he marched down the hall. Likely summoned by one of the demanding authors he managed.

A moment later, the sound of someone rushing down the stairs followed. It was Ellie.

"Ahhh, I overslept! Kudou-kun, you’ve got to escort me tonight. I’ll be late like this!"

"I can’t! I’m in the middle of something urgent," Kudou snapped back, the front door slamming behind him.

High heels clattered as Ellie dashed out, leaving the apartment quiet again. From upstairs, faint laughter from Kanami and his son filtered through the floor. The rich scent of curry wafted down.

In the silence that returned, Tsugumi couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“This place is really lively,” Tsugumi said.

“Do you dislike lively places?”

“No, I like it. It’s reassuring. It feels like I’m not alone.”

“…Yeah, me too.”

But even as Sakutaro said that, his eyes resembled those of an animal separated from its pack—guarded, isolated. It was as if he carried a secret he couldn’t share with anyone.

Maybe Sakutaro is the loneliest one here.

Tsugumi wrapped his arms around Sakutaro’s neck and initiated a deep kiss. He didn’t stop at his lips, planting kisses on his cheek and the area just above his eyes. As his fingers ran through Sakutaro’s soft, straight hair, Tsugumi gave his earlobe a playful bite, just firm enough to make Sakutaro shiver in surprise. His reaction made Tsugumi laugh softly.

 

“That’s mean, Tsugumi-san,” Sakutaro said, his tone a mixture of scolding and affection.

“Sorry,” Tsugumi replied.

“You’re not quite how I imagined you.”

“What kind of image did you have?”

“I thought you’d be more… passive.”

“Well, I am older than you, you know.”

It was a lie. If Tsugumi were honest, he didn’t have much experience. Before his long-term relationship with Shinjin, all his romantic endeavors had been unrequited crushes. Shinjin was his first partner, someone who naturally took the lead while Tsugumi followed. But now…

“It’s okay. You don’t have to think about anything, Sakutaro.”

He shifted their positions, reversing their roles, and cradled Sakutaro’s face in his hands before kissing him gently.

Something was clearly off about Sakutaro tonight. He was intense, desperate, yet there was an unsettling fragility about him, as though he might lose his way at any moment. Tsugumi didn’t know the cause, but he resolved to take it all in, to shoulder everything Sakutaro was trying to give.

Even the brightest person can have moments where they collapse. Sometimes it’s just one night—one night when the solitude becomes too much to bear, when the weight of life feels ready to shatter everything built so far. And in such moments, it’s possible for a bridge to form between two people.

Sometimes that bridge endures, connecting them for a lifetime. Other times, it crumbles, becoming a fleeting mistake that vanishes as dawn approaches.

Tsugumi didn’t know which this night would become. He would leave it to Sakutaro. Since they had met, Sakutaro had helped Tsugumi in countless ways. If this was what Sakutaro needed now, then Tsugumi was willing to share his body.

When you’re young, sex can feel monumental. But Tsugumi had lived long enough to know that a single night doesn’t hold that kind of value. Still, he also knew that a single night could sometimes be enough to save someone.

Slowly, Tsugumi lowered himself, pressing his face against Sakutaro’s groin.

“Tsugumi… san…” Sakutaro’s voice trembled as he moved to sit up, but Tsugumi gently pushed him back down.

He wasn’t particularly experienced with this. Determined not to let it show, he deepened his actions. He kissed the tip of Sakutaro’s arousal before tracing its length downward, then back up again. When he reached the base, he repeated the motion. A bead of clear liquid pooled at the tip, and every time Tsugumi drew it into his mouth, Sakutaro’s hips bucked involuntarily.

Sakutaro’s ragged breaths filled the room. Listening to them, Tsugumi reached behind himself, guiding his own hand into place.

"…Nnh," Tsugumi muffled a sound as he continued his oral ministrations, slipping a finger into himself. He had never prepared himself like this before. Overcoming his shame, he explored the tight, scorching heat within. The confined space left little room for movement, and as he clumsily maneuvered his finger, he inadvertently brushed against a sensitive spot, causing his hips to jolt reflexively.

"Tsugumi-san?" Sakutaro’s voice carried a note of concern, clearly realizing what Tsugumi was doing.

"…Sorry, just… don’t mind me," Tsugumi said, pausing to catch his breath in fragments. Even as he spoke, the sensation of the soft, clinging folds around his finger made him flush with embarrassment.

"Tsugumi-san, let me—"

"No, it’s fine. Don’t do anything," Tsugumi interrupted, resuming his oral job with renewed focus. He took Sakutaro fully into his mouth, moving up and down in deliberate motions. The slick texture spread across his tongue, and he could feel Sakutaro’s pleasure ripple through his body. In turn, the fingers he used to prepare himself moved more boldly, almost reflexively seeking out sensitive areas.

I don’t need to feel this, Tsugumi thought, chastising himself as his fingers pressed against a spot that sent sharp, direct pleasure up his spine. As he curved his fingers just beneath his own groin, the intense stimulation made his hips quiver uncontrollably.

From the tip of Sakutaro’s arousal, a bead of fluid trickled down. Tsugumi swiped it with a finger and brought it to his entrance, smoothing it over himself. The lewd sound of wetness only deepened his blush, and the sensation caused his body to instinctively tighten.

With each repetition, his body gradually softened, opening up more. By the time he felt ready, he withdrew his fingers and positioned himself over Sakutaro. Guiding Sakutaro’s erection to his entrance, he looked into his eyes.

"…Tsugumi-san," Sakutaro murmured, their gazes locking. At that moment, Tsugumi’s body gave way, slowly enveloping Sakutaro’s hardness. He gasped softly, a mix of shock and pleasure escaping his lips. Their eyes remained fixed on each other as he sank further, his weight allowing Sakutaro to enter him deeper and deeper.

"…Ah… nn, ah…" Quiet, broken sounds spilled from Tsugumi’s mouth. It had been a long time since he’d felt someone inside him, and the overwhelming fullness brought both a slight pain and an undeniable pleasure as his body adjusted to the intrusion. The sensation of his softened folds being spread apart was intoxicating.

As they waited for their bodies to acclimate, Tsugumi found himself acutely aware of Sakutaro’s gaze, which seemed to bore into him with a mixture of tenderness and intensity.

Being on top wasn’t something Tsugumi had much experience with. It was embarrassing, and more than that, he didn’t want to leave any vivid, visual memories of this night. If what was happening now ended up being classified as a mistake—a one-time lapse—it would be better to have fewer memories of it. Perhaps that way, it would be easier for Sakutaro to forget, too.

“...Don’t look too much,” he asked softly, moving his hips slowly. Lifting, then lowering. At first, the movement was awkward, unfamiliar. But as he adjusted, he found a rhythm, and when he tried rocking back and forth, tremors of pleasure began to surface. Every time a sensitive spot was pressed, his back arched involuntarily.

“...Hnn, ah.”

Holding back his voice only made breathing more difficult. Everything he was trying to suppress—his breath, his pleasure, his emotions—seeped deeper into him, dissolving his remaining sense of control. Then he felt a faint, unexpected sensation run through his chest: Sakutaro’s fingertips brushing against him.

“Sakutaro-san, not there—”

He shook his head, pleading for him to stop. His chest was unusually sensitive for a man, and just the slightest circular touch caused his soft skin to harden rapidly. As Sakutaro continued to explore his back, he teased the now embarrassingly erect peaks of Tsugumi’s chest, multiplying the waves of pleasure that overtook him.

Don’t let yourself get carried away, he scolded himself. But despite his efforts, his hips moved more boldly with each thrust. Straddling Sakutaro, there was no hiding his own arousal. With each motion, Tsugumi’s erection swayed and dripped, leaving a trail of wetness across Sakutaro’s abdomen.

“...Nn.”

Suddenly, his arousal was enclosed in Sakutaro’s hand.

“Move,” Sakutaro said firmly.

When Tsugumi began to lift and lower his hips again, his own length rubbed against Sakutaro’s hand. The sensation was no different from masturbation, and the humiliating awareness of that sent a flush all the way to his head.

Wet, sticky sounds reached his ears—kuchu, kuchu.

The fluid leaking from the tip of his arousal spilled into Sakutaro’s hand, as if it were crying out in delight. The same lewd sounds came from the place where their bodies were connected, echoing with every thrust. All the while, Sakutaro’s fingers continued their relentless attention to Tsugumi’s chest, the reddened peaks swelling painfully and sending sweet, electric pangs radiating through his entire body.

“No… I can’t, this…”

Unable to endure any longer, Tsugumi protested. In response, Sakutaro suddenly thrust upward with force.

A cry nearly escaped, but Tsugumi quickly covered his mouth with his hand. As his balance wavered, Sakutaro firmly held his hips, driving into him repeatedly, deeply. When Sakutaro rolled his hips while fully inside, a burning wave of pleasure surged through Tsugumi, leaving him no choice but to shake his head helplessly.

“Ah… no, no, not this…”

Collapsing forward onto Sakutaro, Tsugumi whispered his plea in a voice soft enough to avoid being heard outside the room.

In the dim light, their gazes met, both eyes glazed over with pleasure. The thrusts only grew more intense, targeting all the most sensitive places. The edge was near, unbearably close.

“Sakutaro-san… I’m… I can’t…!”

The moment Tsugumi clenched his eyes shut, his release erupted between their bodies, his abdomen jerking as it spilled out. The muscles inside him clenched involuntarily with each wave, prompting Sakutaro to furrow his brow as though struggling to hold back.

“...Damn it—”

A sudden rush of heat filled Tsugumi, and he realized Sakutaro had reached his peak as well. The rhythmic pulses of release surged deep within, filling him thoroughly. As his body trembled under the intensity, Sakutaro’s hips rotated slowly, pressing the sensation further into him. Tsugumi’s recently spent body still responded, tightening and pulling Sakutaro even deeper.

“Ah, ah… wait… stop…”

Even after finishing, Sakutaro began to move again, reigniting a steady rhythm. Tsugumi couldn’t suppress a brief, sharp cry.

“S-Sakutaro… please, stop, I can’t, I’ll—my voice—it’ll carry, please…”

Tears edged his plea, and at last, Sakutaro slowed. His movements turned gentle, like a lullaby. But even that gentle pace became unbearable as time passed, the relentless stimulation leaving Tsugumi overwhelmed. His body burned feverishly, filled with an ache for resolution.

Unable to suppress his voice, unable to ask for more, he endured, teetering on the brink. Finally, a slow, grinding wave of pleasure crested and spilled over. The buildup had been torturous, and the release was just as intense—a prolonged, rolling climax that left Tsugumi shaking. At the same time, Sakutaro reached his own peak again, spilling himself deep within.

When he finally pulled out, the slick sound of separation was followed by the feeling of warmth spilling out. Tsugumi flushed with embarrassment as the evidence of their union escaped him.

Just as he averted his eyes, he felt Sakutaro lean in and press a kiss to his sweat-dampened forehead.

“Tsugumi-san.”

His name was called—again and again. Each time, a kiss followed, and with every soft touch, it reached deeper, brushing against a part of him that should have remained untouched.

Ah.

For a fleeting moment, it felt like a sugar needle had pierced deep into his chest. The needle melted from his body heat, leaving no trace but sweetness seeping into every fiber of his being.

Sex without feelings wasn’t supposed to mean anything. And yet, after their bodies came together, Tsugumi couldn’t help but notice what had quietly taken root within him: his feelings for Sakutaro. Why now? The timing felt absurd, leaving him stunned and unsure.

He’d always thought Sakutaro was a kind person.

He’d been grateful for the selfless care Sakutaro had given.

He’d imagined they’d continue as friends, casually and comfortably.

One by one, these seemingly unrelated thoughts had built upon each other, forming layers of sentiment he hadn’t noticed until now. Beneath the foundation of goodwill, the possibility of love had always been slumbering. He’d written about it countless times in his novels, but when it came to his own heart, he’d seen nothing.

It’s okay. I can still turn back. I can.

Even as he told himself this, the kisses grew deeper, more fervent.

“Ah…”

Suddenly, his legs were spread apart, and Sakutaro slipped back inside, finding him still wet and welcoming.

“Sakutaro-san, please… no more…”

He tried to push against Sakutaro, but his wrists were caught and pinned to the tatami. The restraint felt like his emotions were being seized as well, and in that instant, a wordless, primal joy unfurled within him.

A single night of sex shouldn’t mean anything. But when feelings were involved, even the slightest meeting of their gazes gained significance. The resolve he’d repeated to himself, I can still turn back, crumbled, piece by piece, and he felt powerless to stop it.

What a fool I am.

The thought made him want to cry.

Previous TOC Next