The Moon’s Ship That Crosses The Night: Chapter 3

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The moment the man stepped into the room, he shrugged off his jacket, loosened his tie, and sank onto the couch by the wall. It was a twin-bedroom suite. The instant Kawase caught sight of the two neatly made beds, covered in crisp white sheets, his legs began to tremble. He had to have sex there. Just the thought of it made him so terrified he almost pissed himself.

“Come inside.”

He hadn’t even realized he was still standing frozen in front of the door until the words snapped him out of it. Moving like a poorly programmed robot, he forced his feet forward, stopping beside the man.

“You can take a shower first.”

The unspoken implication of what was coming rang in his ears like a deafening siren.

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine too, but… hmm?” The man looked up at him, tilting his head slightly. “You’re shaking?”

Heat flared in Kawase’s head, burning away the last of his composure. Without a word, he roughly tossed his bag onto the bed and stomped toward the bathroom. Once inside the changing area, he stripped off his clothes, stepped into the shower stall, and immediately crouched down, clutching his head.

“…Fucking perverted homo. Piece of shit.”

The insults slipped from his lips in a whisper. Pathetic. Even now, he was careful not to be overheard. He stayed there for a while, crouched under the stream of water, letting it wash away the sweat clinging to his skin. Then, without properly washing himself, he turned off the shower and stepped out. His discarded clothes lay on the floor. He stared at them. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to put them back on and run. But he clenched his teeth and swallowed the urge.

When he left the bathroom, he methodically hung his clothes on a hanger. That was when he felt it— a gaze. Cold, heavy, like a snake coiling around his body. His fingertips tensed as he sensed the man approaching. He braced himself, fully expecting to be pushed onto the bed. But instead, the man simply walked past him and disappeared into the bathroom.

The moment the sound of running water echoed through the room, Kawase bolted for the door. His fingers gripped the doorknob. His breath came out in quick, shallow bursts. If he ran now… if he ran… He would regret it for the rest of his life. But if he stayed, he would regret it too. If regret was inevitable, then at the very least, he wanted to choose the one that benefited him more. Slowly, he let go of the doorknob. He turned and walked to the bed closest to the door, throwing himself onto it. Lying facedown, he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Aren’t you ashamed, selling yourself like this?"

"Just quit this damn job already."

"All you have to do is endure two hours."

"In just a few short hours, you’ll get what you want. And you’ll never have to see him again."

The thoughts spun in endless circles, each one hitting him like a hammer to the chest. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. He knew all of this already. There was no point in thinking about it anymore. Desperate to drown it all out, he sat up and turned on the TV. Bright, colorful images flooded the screen. Laughter and upbeat music filled the air. He pulled his knees to his chest, staring blankly at the flashing visuals. Not a single word registered in his mind.

Then— Click.

The soft sound of the bathroom door opening. The man stepped out. Kawase flinched. The matching white bathrobe startled him so much that he instinctively looked away.

“You were watching TV?”

“…Not really.”

Laughter echoed from the screen. Then— Click. The man turned it off.

“It’s too noisy. I can’t concentrate.”

Without waiting for permission, he removed his glasses and set them on the side table. Then, he climbed onto the bed beside Kawase. The mattress creaked under his weight. Kawase felt it sink slightly beneath him, the shift in pressure making his breath hitch. As the man inched closer, Kawase reflexively turned his head away. A cold fingertip brushed his cheek. His whole body shuddered. Whether from the temperature of the touch or sheer disgust, he couldn’t tell.

“…Are you afraid?” The question carried an almost curious tone. “You’ve had girlfriends before, haven’t you? So it’s not like you’re a virgin.”

The sheer audacity of the remark made his stomach twist with anger and humiliation.

“Of course not! I—” His voice caught in his throat. “…I just think you’re disgusting.”

The cold fingers withdrew.

“…Then maybe you should close your eyes.”

Kawase snapped his head toward him. “The hell?”

“I understand that this isn’t exactly enjoyable for you,” the man continued calmly. “But I have no intention of stopping. So why not shut your eyes and imagine that the person touching you is a woman? That might make it a little easier, don’t you think?”

“Stop fucking talking and just get it over with!”

He spat the words out like venom. Yet, the moment the man moved to pin him down, Kawase’s body reacted instinctively— His eyes slammed shut. The weight of another person pressing down on him. The faint, oddly sweet scent of the man’s skin. Something brushed his lips.

And before he could stop himself— He shoved. Hard. The man toppled onto his back with a dull thud. For a moment, he lay there, silent. Then, slowly— He sat up.

"If you resist, nothing can be done. Didn’t you come here prepared for this?"

"…I-I was just surprised, that’s all."

Damn it, whatever happens, happens! Kawase spat in his mind, then spread his limbs out and shut his eyes. Clenching both fists, he tensed his elbows. No matter what was done to him, he wouldn’t move. He was a carp on the cutting board.

Something cold brushed against his cheek. The man was stroking his face. Fingers like ice traced the line of his jaw, glided down his neck, and followed the curve of his collarbone. The touch was chillingly raw—human, yet somehow not.

When something pressed against his lips, his brow furrowed deeply. A series of fleeting kisses landed on him, only for the man’s tongue to suddenly slip into his mouth, catching him off guard. His body was cold, yet his tongue alone was disturbingly warm. It felt disgusting.

Please, just let this be over. Just end already.

But while Kawase prayed for it to be over, the man’s tongue coiled thickly inside his mouth, slow and deliberate. A serpent writhing in his oral cavity.

At last, the snake retreated. As Kawase wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, the sash of his bathrobe was loosened. The moment he sensed the fabric being parted, a wave of helplessness crashed over him, bringing an urge to cry.

Even a kiss this repulsive was only the beginning.

A slick, warm tongue roamed freely over his exposed skin. Like a slug.

No, no, no… I can’t take this anymore.

Even if he never made it to the Product Planning Department, he didn’t want to have sex with a man.

…But if he backed out now, he’d be a real idiot.

Sensing fingers pinching at his left chest, he opened his eyes.

As expected, his nipple was caught between them, squeezed along with the areola. The fingers kneaded and rolled it around, not painfully, but enough to make him feel utterly degraded.

His body was nothing more than a toy.

"Your nipple has gotten hard and a bit swollen, hasn't it? Does it feel good like this?" the man said, his voice a running commentary that made Kawase's skin crawl.

Kawase tried to ignore him, but suddenly, a sharp pain shot through his nipple.

"Ah, it hurts! What are you doing?!"

"You had a hair on your nipple," the man said, holding up a two-centimeter-long hair in front of Kawase's eyes.

"Just leave it alone!"

"I'm curious. There's another one, a bit longer," the man said, his eyes fixed on Kawase's chest.

"No, don't touch it! Don't pull it out!"

The man spared him the pain of having the hair pulled out, but instead, he began to suck on Kawase's left nipple, which had become sensitive from the earlier stimulation.

"Ah, no, stop that! I don't like it!"

Kawase had never experienced this before. He had touched and sucked on a woman's breasts, but he had never been on the receiving end. The twisted scene of someone else sucking on his nipple made him panic.

"No, no, I don't like it..." Kawase tried to push the man's head away, but it wouldn't budge. The embarrassing sound of sucking and slurping filled the air, and Kawase's shame and humiliation grew. He closed his eyes, trying to escape the reality of the situation.

The man's mouth was relentless, sucking and nibbling on Kawase's nipple with varying degrees of intensity. One moment it was gentle, the next it was rough and painful. Kawase's nipple was trapped in a cycle of pleasure and pain, and he couldn't help but tremble with anticipation.

As the man continued to tease and taunt him, Kawase's nipples began to swell and redden. They were normally insignificant, just a small part of his body, but now they seemed to be throbbing with a life of their own.

The man straddled Kawase's abdomen, his eyes gleaming with excitement as he pinched and tweaked Kawase's nipples. The sensation sent a shiver down Kawase's spine, and he felt a strange, tingling sensation in his waist.

But what really caught his attention was the man's erection, visible through the gap in his bathrobe. Kawase's eyes were drawn to it, and he felt a jolt of surprise and discomfort. The man's excitement was palpable, and Kawase could sense his arousal growing with every passing moment.

The man's movements stopped, and Kawase tensed, waiting for what would happen next. But instead of attacking him again, the man simply lifted the hem of his bathrobe, revealing his erect penis. Kawase felt a shock run through him, not just because of the sudden exposure, but also because he was being forced to confront the man's desire.

It was one thing to see his own body, but to be faced with someone else's arousal was a completely different story. Kawase felt a wave of discomfort wash over him, and he couldn't help but turn away, trying to escape the reality of the situation.

"Don't take that out!" Kawase exclaimed, his voice laced with disgust.

"I thought you might want to see it, since you seemed so interested," the man said, his tone casual as he covered himself again. The glimpse Kawase had caught was of something that was not particularly large, but seemed to be quite long. He knew that when two men had anal sex, one of them would have to endure being penetrated by something like that. The thought sent a shiver down his spine, and he felt a wave of fear wash over him. The idea of being penetrated by something so thick and rigid, especially when it was being forced into him from behind, was terrifying.

The man moved back, and the pressure on Kawase's abdomen eased. For a moment, Kawase thought that maybe this was the end of it, and he felt a surge of hope. But then the man spoke again.

"Get on your knees."

Kawase folded his knees, keeping his legs tightly closed. He knew what the man was asking him to do, and he was afraid.

"Spread your legs."

Kawase couldn't do it. He was too scared. He had never thought that he would be in a situation like this, where he would be forced to accept a man into his body. The man's hands grasped his knees, trying to pry them apart. Kawase resisted, his muscles tensing up.

"Relax," the man said, his voice soft and soothing. He stroked Kawase's knees gently. "Be a good boy and relax."

Kawase covered his face with his arms, feeling a wave of despair wash over him. He finally managed to relax his muscles, and his knees were spread wide apart. He felt exposed and vulnerable, and the fear that gripped him was overwhelming. He was scared, scared, scared.

The man's fingers touched Kawase's genitals, and he felt a surge of humiliation. He was being treated like a toy, something to be played with and manipulated. The man's cold hands touched him, stroking and teasing him, but Kawase felt no pleasure. All he could think about was the terror that gripped him, the fear of what was to come.

"You're not getting hard, are you?" the man said, his voice laced with amusement.

The man leaned forward, and at the same time, Kawase's groin was enveloped in a warm, wet sensation. He was startled and sat up, and that's when he saw the man's face buried in his crotch. The man's lips were wrapped around his center.

Kawase had seen fellatio in adult videos, and he had even fantasized about experiencing it himself. But he had never dared to ask his girlfriend to do it for him. He knew that reality and adult videos were different, and he didn't want to pressure her into doing something she might not be comfortable with.

The man's hair rubbed against Kawase's thighs, making a disgusting, slurping sound that made Kawase want to cover his ears. The man's mouth was lavishing attention on Kawase's center, his fingers massaging the soft skin, his lips tightening around the base. The shaft was being stroked, and the tip was being teased with the man's tongue. No matter how much he was being toyed with, Kawase couldn't feel any pleasure. All he could think about was the humiliation of being serviced by a man.

The man continued to work on Kawase for about twenty minutes, but eventually, he seemed to give up, realizing that he wasn't going to get Kawase to harden. He lifted his face from Kawase's crotch and got off the bed, walking over to the sofa by the window, where he lit a cigarette.

Kawase sat up, using the hem of his bathrobe to gently wipe away the saliva that had accumulated on his groin. Maybe this was the end of it. He felt a sense of relief wash over him, thinking that he had dodged a bullet. The man's inability to get him hard was almost laughable, and Kawase felt like praising his own body for not responding.

The smell of cigarette smoke wafted up to Kawase's nose. He had never seen the man smoke at the office, so he hadn't known that he was a smoker. Kawase smoothed out the front of his bathrobe and asked, "May I go now?"

The man stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and stood up, his movements smooth and fluid.

"Come here," the man said, beckoning Kawase with his hand.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Kawase replied, unsure of what to do.

The man repeated his request, and Kawase hesitantly approached him, making sure to keep his bathrobe closed. He was gestured to sit in the chair across from the man, and as he did, the man turned on the TV. It seemed to be set to a pay-per-view channel, and suddenly, the room was filled with the high-pitched, sweet moans of a woman. On the screen, a naked woman was on all fours, being penetrated and writhing in ecstasy.

Kawase was taken aback, and he tried to stand up, but the man told him to stay where he was. The remote control was used to flip through different channels, showing various adult videos. "It seems like there are a few programs to choose from, but which one do you like?" the man asked, his tone casual.

"What are you thinking?" Kawase exclaimed, frustrated. "I don't get why you're showing me this. Do you really want to see me get hard that badly?"

The man replied calmly, "I was just wondering what it would take to get you to harden." Kawase couldn't understand why he was being forced to watch adult videos to try and get him aroused. Did the man really want to see him get hard that badly?

"By the way, I remember you saying that your girlfriend looks like the actress from that historical drama," the man said, changing the channel to a video featuring a girl who resembled Kawase's girlfriend. Kawase pretended to watch the video while thinking about other things, like when he could go home, or whether there would be any trains left. When he ran out of things to think about, he found himself wondering if the rumors about the general affairs director wearing a wig were true, and other pointless thoughts.

"Lately, I've been thinking that nipples are really something special," the man said suddenly, breaking into Kawase's thoughts. Kawase looked up at the screen, and his eyes widened as he saw a woman with enormous breasts, like a Holstein cow, being roughly fondled and sucked by a man.

"The girl seems to be really enjoying herself," the man observed, his tone as dry as a scientific report.

"That's just acting, of course," Kawase said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"But maybe it's still a little bit exciting, don't you think?" the man replied, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"AV actresses are just doing it for the money, even if they don't like the guy," Kawase said, trying to sound convincing.

"But look, she's getting all wet and stuff. Does that mean it's working?" the man asked, his voice filled with curiosity.

As they talked, the camera cut to a close-up shot of the couple's joined lower bodies. The mosaic censorship was thin, and Kawase could see that the area around the penetration was slick with fluids, with the man's shaft glistening with a white, viscous liquid.

"Uh, I think that's a scene where the guy came inside her," Kawase said, trying to sound calm.

"But this actor hasn't come yet. Look, his hips are moving really fast," the man said, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"I guess it's not necessarily the first time, though. Maybe he's already come a few times," Kawase said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Despite his words, Kawase couldn't help but think that the woman might be feeling something, even if she was just acting. The camera cut to a new scene, with the woman's lower body lifted high into the air as the man thrust into her. Her breasts jiggled and her skin was flushed, and she let out high-pitched moans as she pretended to resist.

Kawase's groin began to throb, and he realized that he had been watching the scene more intently than he thought. He quickly looked away, feeling embarrassed, but the sounds from the TV still reached his ears. Once he had started to get aroused, it was hard to stop, and the voices and sounds from the TV only made it worse. Kawase was getting really turned on, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

He closed his knees and subtly adjusted the fabric of his bathrobe to cover his groin, trying not to draw attention to himself. But the man had already noticed, and he stood up from his chair and knelt down in front of Kawase.

"Lift up the hem of your bathrobe and spread your legs," the man said, his voice low and commanding.

Kawase's knees trembled at the order. "W-why do I have to...?" he stuttered.

"I'm going to lick you again, so spread your legs," the man said, his eyes fixed on Kawase's groin.

As Kawase hesitated, the man grew impatient and placed his hands on Kawase's knees, spreading them wide apart. The AV playing on the screen had already left him half-hard. The man pulled aside the hem of Kawase's bathrobe, exposing his groin, and buried his face in it. Even with his eyes shut and ears covered, desperately trying to endure, his body betrayed him. Just the first flick of the man’s tongue had it eagerly standing, and soon enough, it was fully hardened inside his mouth.

It was over. There was no use resisting now.

When Kawase opened his eyes, resigned to his fate, the AV on the screen showed a woman with her legs spread wide, a man’s face buried between them. The only difference was that she was on a chair, while Kawase was on a bed. What was happening was exactly the same.

The AV actress was doing this for money. Kawase was doing it for his own survival—a trade-off to avoid being sent to the Planning Department.

On the video, the man had lifted the woman's legs and was thrusting into her again. The woman's cries of pleasure were hoarse and raw. As the man's hips moved in a lewd rhythm, the woman's joined body moved in sync, swaying gently.

The man lifted his face from Kawase's groin and stood up, pulling Kawase's arm. His erection made it hard to move, his hips drawing back involuntarily. Even so, the man forced him forward, leading him in a hunched-over walk to the bed, where he was pushed down onto the mattress.

…And now, the real thing was about to begin.

"No, I don't want to!" Kawase exclaimed, trying to turn onto his stomach and crawl away. But the man caught his right foot and held him back.

"That's against the rules," the man said in a calm voice.

Kawase slowly turned to face him, his heart racing. "I don't remember you forcing me into anything," the man continued. "You agreed to this deal of your own free will."

The man turned Kawase onto his back and put a condom on his erect penis. Kawase crossed his arms over his face and closed his eyes, not wanting the man to see his tears. He gritted his teeth, bracing himself for what was to come.

The man straddled Kawase's waist, and Kawase felt something touch his tip. At first, he thought it was just the man's mouth, but then he realized that his penis was being pulled into a tight, narrow space.

Kawase removed his arms from his face and lifted his head, and what he saw made him scream. His erect penis was being engulfed by the man's body. The shock was so great that his hands began to tremble.

"No, no... I don't want to...!" Kawase cried, his voice shaking. He tried to move his hips to escape, but the man groaned in pain, "Don't move!" Kawase's movements stopped, and the man slowly lowered his hips, their bodies merging into one without any gap.

After they were fully joined, the man let out a deep sigh and said, "I've been preparing me, but it still hurts a bit." As he spoke, he contracted his muscles, causing Kawase's penis to be squeezed tightly, and Kawase let out a cry of surprise.

"Does it feel good when I tense up? It's just like it said in the book," the man said, his voice filled with curiosity. He continued to apply pressure, his movements intermittent, and Kawase felt a sense of pleasure rising up, despite the situation.

"Are you starting to feel good too? It's probably not much different from being with a woman. Just close your eyes and wait for it to be over," the man said, his voice calm and collected.

The man remained still for a moment, then began to move, his hands on either side of Kawase's face. He slid his hips up and down, and moved them from side to side in small, rapid motions. Kawase had been told to close his eyes, but he couldn't help sneaking a peek at the man's lewd movements.

The man moved his hips with deliberate sensuality, savoring Kawase, his breath hitching as he occasionally stroked himself in rhythm. What had begun as slow, teasing movements gradually became more fervent, his body responding instinctively to the rising tension.

"Ah, ah, ah...!"

His pale throat arched as sweet gasps escaped his lips, the bed springs creaking beneath them.

"Nh... nh... nh..."

His body tensed sharply, back curving as pleasure overtook him, his release spilling over in heated pulses. The sudden tightness around Kawase’s base pushed him over the edge as well, and at almost the same time, he too released his own pent-up desire inside the man. The man, still joined with Kawase, slowly leaned forward and smeared his own scattered desire all over Kawase's chest, before lowering his head to trace the mess with slow, languid strokes of his tongue

"That’s enough, get off me," Kawase muttered, pushing at the slim waist straddling him. Though his own arousal had softened, he remained enclosed within the other’s warmth, their connection unbroken.

"Not yet," the man said, his eyes narrowing.

"I'm not done yet. It's a waste to only do it once," he said, his voice low and husky.

So this wasn’t the end. The realization that this would happen again, perhaps twice, three times more, made Kawase's chest tighten. Without warning, tears welled up and spilled over, silent and overwhelming. The man reached out, brushing a gentle fingertip beneath Kawase’s eye, wiping them away.

"Why are you crying? You're not in pain, and you felt good, didn't you?" the man asked, his voice filled with curiosity.

The man muttered to himself in wonder, then lifted his hips and withdrew from Kawase. He removed the condom and carefully licked Kawase's penis, which was still wet and sticky, until he hardened again—before straddling him once more.

It wasn't until the early hours of the morning, just before dawn, that the man finally got out of bed. Kawase saw the man's back as he walked away and noticed that there was a trail of blood between his legs, like a virgin's.

As soon as the man entered the bathroom, Kawase got out of bed and rushed to the closet. He quickly put on his underwear, pants, and shirt, and grabbed his bag. Then, he ran out of the room.

The hallway was empty. Kawase pressed the "down" button on the elevator, but it took a while to arrive. He tapped his foot impatiently, feeling frustrated. When the doors finally opened, he rushed inside and pressed the "close" button repeatedly. As the elevator slowly began to descend, Kawase finally felt a sense of relief.

He walked through the dark and quiet lobby, and burst out of the hotel. The area was still dark, and the clock on his phone showed that it was just before 5:00 AM.

As he walked away from the hotel, Kawase's pace slowed down. His whole body felt heavy, and he was exhausted.

There were no people around, and not many cars were driving by. The first train of the day hadn't started running yet, and Kawase didn't have anywhere to go. He spotted a convenience store and felt drawn to it, so he went inside.

He stood in front of the magazine rack, and picked up the first magazine he saw. But the words on the page didn't make sense to him, and his hands were shaking. His mind was racing, and he felt restless and uncomfortable.

In the end, Kawase just bought a can of coffee and left the store. He drank the coffee on the subway platform while waiting for the first train. But as he drank, tears began to well up in his eyes, and he felt overwhelmed. He couldn't stop sobbing, even when the train arrived.

He thought to himself, "I shouldn't have done that. One-sided sex, where I'm just being taken advantage of, is not only damaging to my body, but also to my mind." He felt like he was a disgusting person, and the smell of the coffee he had been drinking suddenly made him feel nauseous. He covered his mouth, but he couldn't hold it in, and he rushed to the bathroom to vomit.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it..." he muttered to himself, as he threw up into the toilet. His tears fell into the bowl, mixed with his vomit. It was too late for regrets now. Even if he could get transferred to the Product Planning Department, he would never forget what had happened that day. It was the biggest stain on his life, and he couldn't erase it.

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