Nibiiro no Hana: Chapter 11

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The rain hadn’t stopped since dusk, pouring steadily in sheets. Togawa’s smartphone, which he’d left to dry, showed no signs of coming back to life, and he was halfheartedly watching the weather forecast on local news. The rain was expected to continue through tomorrow, with warnings for heavy rainfall.

Dinner had been somen noodles with vegetable tempura—edible, but nothing special. After the meal, Tsurutani cleaned up the guest room and disappeared. The variety show on TV became grating, so Togawa turned it off.

Thunder rumbled, then a loud boom made the house shake. It sounded close—so close, he wondered if it might strike the house itself.

“What awful weather,” Tsurutani said, returning and placing a teacup in front of Togawa. He’d changed out of his jinbei into a navy yukata, and his pale face was slightly flushed—perhaps from a bath.

Another crack of thunder struck, and the lights went out. Sudden darkness, the roar of relentless rain. The outage lasted long enough for Togawa to wonder if it would stay off until morning. But then, with a buzz, the bulbs flickered back on. “That lightning’s really bad,” Tsurutani said with a sigh.

“Would you like a bath?”

“I’m fine,” Togawa replied. He hadn’t sweat since washing off the mud earlier, and doing it again sounded tedious. Tsurutani nodded and knelt at the low table.

“I’ve laid out the futon in the next room. …Would now be all right?”

He couldn’t say no. Tsurutani wasn’t pushy—the way he asked was soft-spoken—but it still grated on Togawa’s nerves somehow. For some reason, he felt strangely irritable today, his mood swinging wildly. Normally, even when he showed anger in front of others, it was part of a calculated act—a psychological tactic. He didn’t usually feel emotionally out of control. Which is why he found his current state difficult to manage.

“Of course. That was the condition, after all.”

Tsurutani bowed and said, “Thank you,” before quietly leaving the guest room. Normally, Togawa could compartmentalize and handle this dispassionately, but for no clear reason, he hesitated before heading to the next room. When he slid the door open, he saw a futon already laid out, with Tsurutani kneeling beside it. Next to him was a tray containing lotion, condoms, and tissues—tangible signs of what was about to take place.

A hollow laugh rose from deep within his gut.

“…This is troubling. I’m not aroused by you at all.”

That unfiltered truth slipped out, and Tsurutani responded with a quiet, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to do anything. Just lie down on the futon, and I’ll… I’ll take care of things myself.”

Togawa stomped across the tatami to the center of the room and threw himself down on the futon, limbs spread wide. His own irritation disgusted him. Tsurutani looked slightly anxious, but after a moment he said, “Excuse me,” and opened the front of Togawa’s robe. From the front flap of the fundoshi, he pulled out the limp, completely uninterested part of Togawa’s body. Earlier, in the garden, he’d felt a flicker of sensation—but now, all he felt was a suffocating distaste.

Thunder rolled again, followed by a heavy thud. The lights went out once more. It didn’t come back on this time. This might be a real blackout. The drumming rain outside continued, thunder rolling on in its wake—and now, darkness all around them.

Suddenly, that part of him was engulfed in something warm and wet. The tip was teased by a slick sensation, wrapped tightly, and sucked up with force. The world around him was pitch black, and he couldn’t see what was doing it—but the obscene pleasure, like being dragged down into the depths, was undeniable.

He feared being swallowed by the darkness, but his body succumbed to the pleasure. That part of him was coaxed into full form, slowly stroked. There was a tight constriction—it was likely a condom being rolled on.

At first, the blackout rendered the surroundings pitch black, but as his eyes adjusted, vague shadows began to take form. On top of him, a human silhouette writhed, and he could feel himself being slowly engulfed by a place hotter and tighter than a mouth.

As he was enveloped, a human weight pressed down heavily onto his abdomen.

“Ahh… haah…”

The harsh sound of the rain blended with ragged gasps. The squeezing sensation was something he’d never felt before—so intense it made him tremble. But he still didn’t know who was on top of him. He couldn’t tell. It was something unknown.

A buzz, and the bulb lit up, illuminating the room. He could see the wood grain of the ceiling. Tilting his gaze downward, he saw a frail, too-thin body—Tsurutani, completely naked, straddling his abdomen with his legs wide open. From between his thighs, Togawa could see himself being taken in.

Tsurutani’s body was pale, yet the frail, erect penis between his legs was an unmistakable pink. His slim frame rocked back and forth, and that feeble erection twitched. With his head thrown back, moaning in pleasure, Tsurutani reached up and began pinching his own nipples. He kneaded them slowly. The light pink buds quickly flushed red and lewd.

“How pathetic.”

That face melting in pleasure now hastily looked down at Togawa.

“You’re getting off on your chest being touched?”

Tsurutani’s shameless cheeks turned red, and in a shaky voice, he apologized.

“…I—I’m sorry.”

That apology only irritated Togawa more.

“You had no experience with men before the sexual reception, right? But after repeated sex with Carter and Adams, you started feeling it in your chest like a woman?”

“Yes…”

Trembling, Tsurutani turned his eyes to the ceiling. Togawa flicked his erection hard with his index finger.

“Hngh!”

Tsurutani clenched his knees, and the inside squeezed down tight. The sudden constriction nearly brought Togawa to climax—but he held it back. The trembling man on top of him was overwhelmingly annoying.

“You’re a disgrace of a man.”

Tsurutani looked up.

“Being good or bad at your job is a matter of aptitude, but you couldn’t even treat the sexual arrangement with the clients as just a task. And now, in your personal life, you willingly offer yourself to men? That’s beyond comprehension.”

He knew he should stay calm and just get through this, but the words wouldn’t stop.

“I—I’m sorry.”

All the man did was apologize—and he stopped moving. The lack of stimulation became frustrating, so Togawa lightly thrust upward.

“Ahh!”

Tsurutani’s thighs spread wide, exposing his humiliatingly aroused, pitiful member.

“You liked that, didn’t you?”

Tsurutani silently shook his head. In contrast to that denial, the tip of his arousal was already leaking tears of semen.

“So you did feel it when your rectum was being penetrated, didn’t you? How is it even possible to feel pleasure in a place like that? It’s unbelievable. A normal man doesn’t feel anything from having it in the ass.”

When Togawa lightly slapped Tsurutani’s thigh, a sharp smack echoed. A red handprint slowly surfaced on his pale skin.

“Ow… it hurts.”

Not just the tip of his member—his eyes, too, began to well with tears. The irritation subsided a little, and Togawa felt a clean, cathartic calm. That face suits you, he thought. You should be more aware of how disgraceful and pathetic you are. You should cry harder, apologize harder.

“Dragging someone all the way out to the countryside just for sex… what a damn nuisance.”

Tsurutani, wiping his tears with the back of his hand, kept murmuring, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” like a broken record.

“This is your childhood home, isn’t it? The place you lived with your parents. And yet here you are, shamelessly spreading your legs for a man.”

“P-please… don’t say that…”

Togawa slapped the opposite thigh. “Agh!” Tsurutani arched his back. Both thighs now bore matching red marks.

“So you actually like it when you’re penetrated? Just like a woman. Don’t you feel ashamed before the parents who raised you into a fine man? I mean, earlier today you were happily sucking on my dick out in the garden. I bet your parents are up in heaven, devastated by how you’ve turned out.”

Tears spilled from Tsurutani’s eyes, trailed down his cheeks, and scattered across Togawa’s abdomen. A chill ran down his spine. Despite the appearance of remorse, Tsurutani’s insides clenched down so tightly it was almost painful—and that contrast was intoxicating.

“Even when I hit you, even when I scold you, you still like it, don’t you? Your poor parents must be weeping in the grave, wondering how they raised such a pervert.”

Togawa thrust into him, once, twice, three times—rough and forceful.

“Ah—ah—!” Tsurutani moaned, his body rocked like a little boat tossed about in a storm. Through his spread-open thighs, Togawa could see himself pushing in and out, and Tsurutani’s scrotum flopped and bounced, lightly slapping his stomach.

“You only started to enjoy men when you were almost fifty, didn’t you? A man past his prime who loves sucking cock and getting penetrated in the ass—honestly, you’re depraved to an absurd degree.”

“I-I’m sorry…”

Togawa rammed into him again and again. He’d started out full of force, but even though Tsurutani was thin, his body was still that of a man—and the weight started to wear him down. Sitting up, he pushed at the pale man in front of him. Tsurutani toppled backward with a thud, and their connection slipped free with a slick squelch.

Tsurutani, now on his back, blinked in surprise and then touched his rear with his right hand. Realizing that it had been pulled out, his face turned blank with confusion. When Togawa glared at him, Tsurutani timidly averted his eyes and, with his hole still slack, pushed his own fingers into it, noisily playing with it as if to say, that wasn’t enough, I want more.

“Ah... nn…”

The loosened entrance bloomed like a flower. Before he realized it, Togawa had grabbed Tsurutani’s arm and dragged him up onto the futon. Lifting both legs, he pressed his own member against that lewd, still-gaping spot—and in one thrust, buried himself deep.

“Hi-aaah!”

As if it had been waiting, the tight space devoured him hungrily. Pulling out and slamming back in, Tsurutani moaned “Ah,” “Nn,” with each thrust, twisting his upper body. His tiny, flushed nipples stood out unnaturally, and when Togawa pinched one of them, Tsurutani gasped and clenched down from within.

Grinding his hips, Togawa harshly pinched both nipples. Though he shook his head as if to say “no,” Tsurutani didn’t push him away. His member stayed fully erect. After torturing the nipples until they swelled red, Togawa finally grabbed the neglected erection, and when he did, Tsurutani cried out and tightened around him.

“If you enjoy being penetrated this much, why not just get rid of that useless thing, grow some breasts, and reshape yourself into a proper woman?”

“N-no… don’t…”

“You’re not a man anymore, are you? What use is this thing?”

He yanked the erection in his hand, making Tsurutani’s insides twitch violently. Tsurutani covered his face with both arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… please forgive me…”

Tears streamed from beneath his arms. Togawa grabbed his wrists and pulled them down. The tear-streaked face stirred something deep within him—he wanted to make this man keep apologizing, recognize how disgraceful he was, shout over and over, “I’m a shameless man who loves cock,” until he cried in guilt.

Togawa thrust up violently.

“Hiiin—ahhh—ahhh!”

His lips parted in broken sobs and obscene moans.

“Do you even understand what’s happening? You’re not supposed to be enjoying this.”

“Th-that’s… not…” Tsurutani shook his head.

“Not enjoying it? Don’t lie! Look how much you are!”

Togawa gripped Tsurutani’s arousal hard.

“No—i-it hurts…”

Letting go of the shaft, he grasped the hanging scrotum, kneading it slowly in contrast. Tsurutani writhed for a while, then suddenly stopped, propping himself up on both elbows and lifting his upper body slightly.

“What is it?”

“Um… could you squeeze just a little harder…”

When Togawa gripped more firmly, Tsurutani let out a shriek.

“Ah—no, stop!”

“You like it when it hurts, don’t you? You said so yourself when you were directing others.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… just a little harder…”

When he squeezed even tighter, Tsurutani shook his head violently, writhing in pain.

“No… that’s not… not what I meant…”

“You don’t even realize how shameful you are. And yet you’re completely ruled by your desire—so selfish, so hopeless.”

Even through the pain, through the tears, through the trembling, he didn’t go soft. He was still aroused. That contradiction sent a thrill down Togawa’s spine.

Grabbing his gray hair, Togawa leaned in and whispered,

“You’re a worthless human being. You don’t deserve to live.”

A single tear spilled from Tsurutani’s eye—just as Togawa, overtaken with lust, licked his face from chin to cheek with a slow drag of his tongue.

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