Second Serenade: Chapter 13
Sunahara had said, "Don't ever
come near me again." It suited Aketo just fine, and he had every intention
of letting the matter drop. However it had ended, it was over, and that was a
relief.
Yet, every time he spotted Sunahara
at school, a sharp, needle-like pain pricked at the base of his chest. If he
sensed Sunahara approaching, his whole body would tense up. The fleeting
moments when they passed each other were a whirl of unbearable tension,
followed by a heavy, nameless weight that clung to him for hours afterward. It
felt like a fresh wound, reopening every time he remembered it. Time drifted
by, indifferent to his confusion.
Even his dates with Otomo-san felt
dull. Being with her made him happy, and he still found her cute, but the
moment he got home, a heavy sigh always escaped him. The thought that it had
never felt this way with Sunahara only fueled his irritation.
Most of the places he took Otomo-san
on their dates were ones he'd once visited with Sunahara. As they wandered
these familiar paths, old memories crept back unrestrained. We ate lunch
there... We stepped into that shop once...
He kept hoping the next date would
be better. Maybe the next time... or the one after that... But on one such
date, he found himself only half-listening to Otomo-san, throwing out the
occasional automatic response. When she finally stopped and bit her lip, he
realized too late that she'd noticed his distraction.
"Aketo-kun, you're not having
fun with me, are you? You're always so distant, like your mind's somewhere
else. It's fine... Let's just go home."
She turned and ran, her shoulders
trembling. He scrambled after her, catching up only when she slowed down. When
he finally grabbed her arm, she looked like she was on the verge of tears.
He didn't know what to say. An
apology felt too hollow, so he simply pulled her into a tight embrace, holding
her as if that alone could bridge the growing distance between them.
◇:-:◆:-:◇
Aketo wanted to avoid thinking about
Sunahara, but unwanted information about him kept pouring in through Kakegawa,
whether he wanted it or not. On Monday, as soon as Aketo arrived at school,
Kakegawa approached him, grinning from ear to ear.
"Yesterday was the best."
Aketo tilted his head, not
understanding, and Kakegawa frowned, clearly exasperated by his cluelessness.
"I went on a date with Sensei.
When I said I'd be fine with any beach, he took me to this place called Tsujiyura.
It’s one of those hidden gems only the locals know about. The view from the
cliff jutting out over the sea was breathtaking. We didn’t have time for much
else, but he said he'd take me to more places when we have a chance."
Aketo's fingers tightened into a
fist without him realizing it. That was a place he'd once shown Sunahara. They
had pored over a map together, asking locals for directions along the way...
The thought that Sunahara had taken Kakegawa there made his blood boil. Sunahara
knew full well that Kakegawa and Aketo were friends. Did he really not consider
how his actions would filter back to Aketo? Did he think Aketo wouldn't care?
And if he wasn't enough for Sunahara, it had to be Kakegawa next? He really
must have a thing for much younger guys...
"Hey, take me along next time.
It's not fair if Kakegawa gets to hog all the fun. I've always wanted to ride
in Sensei's car, too."
Hayashida, who had appeared beside
them at some point, pouted. Kakegawa's face twisted in obvious irritation.
"Come on, Aketo, say something.
Hey, why don't you come with us next time, too? I bet you've never ridden in Sensei's
car before."
Hayashida grabbed Aketo's shoulders
from behind and gave him a playful shake. Irritated by Kakegawa's bragging, Aketo
roughly shook off Hayashida's hands.
"I already have."
The words slipped out before he
could stop them, and he cursed himself internally as he saw Kakegawa's
expression freeze. He quickly scrambled for an excuse.
"It was... around the end of
September, I think. I ran into Sensei in town. I was on my way back from
shopping and had a long wait for the bus. He offered me a ride since we were
headed in the same direction."
"Then why didn't you mention it
before?"
Kakegawa's sharp tone made cold
sweat trickle down Aketo's spine. It's just a car ride—why are you acting like
this?
"It just slipped my mind. It
wasn't a big deal."
Kakegawa averted his eyes and let
out a small sigh.
"...Well, it's a shame you beat
me to it, but whatever."
Relieved that Kakegawa had bought
his hasty lie, Aketo felt the tension drain from his shoulders. It didn't
matter if they weren't as close as they used to be—there were still things
Kakegawa could never know. If he ever found out that Aketo had slept with the
teacher—and that it hadn't been consensual—there was a good chance he'd never
let it slide.
"Speaking of Sensei,"
Hayashida cut in, "he said he got his hands on an Iranian film recently.
Want to go watch it at his place today?"
Aketo tensed. He shook his head and
made a half-hearted attempt to decline, shrugging his shoulders.
"Nah, I'll pass..."
But then Hayashida leaned in and
whispered into his ear.
"Come on, do me a favor. If
it's just me and Kakegawa, those two will pair off, and I'll end up the odd one
out. It's awkward as hell, man."
"But..."
"Please, Aketo."
Hayashida's pleading tone wore down
his resistance, and when classes ended, Aketo found himself trailing
reluctantly behind the other two. If he'd really wanted to avoid this, he could
have come up with some excuse to get out of it. But a small part of him clung
to the pretense that if he was just tagging along, it didn't count as him
seeking Sunahara out on his own.
...He just wanted an excuse to see
him again. Even if they had nothing to talk about, he just wanted a reason to
be near him.
When they arrived a little past
seven, Sunahara was already back at his apartment, dressed casually in a
T-shirt and sweatpants. When Hayashida asked if they could watch the new film, Sunahara
muttered a half-hearted, "I guess," and let them inside.
It was the first time Aketo had seen
Sunahara up close since that incident in the audiovisual room. He had been
avoiding it, unwilling to face the awkwardness. When Sunahara noticed him
standing behind Kakegawa and Hayashida, his expression remained perfectly
neutral. Aketo had worried that he might be turned away at the door, but he was
relieved to pass this first hurdle without trouble.
Sunahara treated him no differently
than before. But it quickly became clear that this was only a surface act. He
never directed his words toward Aketo or made eye contact. He would nod if Aketo
said something, but that was it—no follow-up, no attempts to keep the
conversation going. It was as if Aketo alone had become invisible, silently
shut out by an invisible, bulletproof barrier only they could see.
"I brought some work
home," Sunahara said, suddenly standing. "I need to take care of it.
You guys go ahead and watch whatever you want."
With that, he left the living room.
After a short pause, Aketo rose to his feet as well, pretending to head to the
bathroom. He crept down the hallway and peered into the room Sunahara used as a
bedroom. The small desk by the bed was occupied by Sunahara's thin frame,
hunched over his work. The scratch of a pen against paper carried all the way
to the door. Aketo stepped inside quietly and leaned over from behind to get a
better look. It was the stack of tests they'd taken recently.
Sunahara must have sensed his
presence because he flinched, his shoulders jumping as he whipped around, eyes
wide.
"Don't look!"
Aketo, fully aware of how much this
annoyed him, leaned in even closer with exaggerated movements. Sunahara hastily
gathered the papers into a pile and flipped them face down with a sharp slap.
"My class already took that
test," Aketo said, his tone deliberately provocative. "I don't think
it matters if I sneak a peek."
Sunahara's face hardened, his eyes
sharp and his lips pressed into a thin, angry line. It was a completely
different expression from the one he'd shown in front of Kakegawa and
Hayashida.
"Do you have any idea what I'm
thinking right now?" Sunahara said in a tightly controlled voice.
"I don't know. What could it
be?" Aketo replied, feigning ignorance.
"Get out of my sight. Right
now."
The words came out as a low growl,
and Sunahara reached for a thick textbook from the desk and hurled it at Aketo.
The heavy book struck him square in the face from point-blank range. The impact
stung, but what cut deeper was the sheer hostility, the way Sunahara had lashed
out as if driving off a stray dog.
"I only let you in for your
friends' sake," Sunahara spat. "If it weren't for them, I never would
have let you set foot in here. Go home. Or do I need to spell it out for you? I
can't stand breathing the same air as you. You make me sick."
Aketo's whole body trembled with
rage, tiny, involuntary shudders that Sunahara, now facing his desk again,
never saw. He couldn't just walk away after being humiliated like this, but he
wasn't shameless enough to stay, either.
"I don't need you to tell me to
leave," Aketo shot back. "I didn't even want to come. Hayashida
dragged me along. Oh, and by the way, in case you haven't noticed, Kakegawa's
got a thing for you. Not sure what he sees in someone this short and ugly, but
I guess you never really know what people are into."
Sunahara turned, his face twisting
into an expression dangerously close to tears, and the sight of it sent a sharp
pang through Aketo's chest. Sunahara lowered his head, twirling the tip of his
pen a few times before letting out a small, resigned sigh.
"You're the worst," he
muttered. "Don't make me hate you any more than I already do. Kakegawa's a
good kid... And didn't I already tell you? I can't even stand the sight of you.
You make me sick."
The look in his eyes made it clear: Leave.
Even after being called the worst, Aketo couldn't muster a comeback. He slammed
the door on his way out, the loud bang doing nothing to soothe his anger. In
fact, it only made it worse.
When he returned to the living room,
Kakegawa stood up, moving toward him.
"Hey, what was that noise just
now?"
Aketo didn't answer, just grabbed
his bag and headed for the door. Kakegawa trailed after him.
"What's up? Why are you pissed
off all of a sudden?"
"It's nothing."
The curt reply made Kakegawa frown,
clearly thrown off by the cold response.
"Did you get into a fight with
Sensei or something?"
"Yeah. Whatever. Later."
As soon as he stepped out of Sunahara's
apartment, Aketo broke into a run. He was so angry he didn't even notice the
tears stinging his eyes. It didn't matter if he was hated. Fine, he told
himself. He can call me the worst, say I make him sick—it goes both ways.
That face of his, I've had enough of it anyway.
He slowed to a walk, then stopped
altogether. He looked back. The only thing behind him was the faint glow of the
streetlights. He took a few more steps, stopped again, and turned around once
more. No matter how hard he squinted into the darkness, there was no figure
running after him.
Why had he gone to Sunahara's
apartment in the first place? He could have just said no. Was he expecting
something?
After everything that had
happened... did he really think someone as stubborn as Sunahara would break
down and beg for him to come back, or confess that he still cared? The thought
made him feel hollow, unbearably small. He couldn't stand himself for even
allowing that tiny flicker of hope to creep into his heart.
Sunahara probably is very self conscious about his height and looks. It breaks my heart to see Aketo saying things that hurt him so deeply
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely… that scene was so painful. You can really feel how deeply Sunahara’s insecurities run, and Aketo’s words—whether he meant them or not—cut right into that. It’s heartbreaking, especially when you know how much Sunahara is just trying to be loved 😢💔
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