Bluebird: Chapter 4

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Two days after the birth, he received a message from Inukai: “I heard from the operations department that you’re on sick leave. I’d like to visit, so please let me know when would be a good time.” The excuse of being on sick leave was a cover—Inukai must have known it was maternity leave. The visit was likely just an excuse to see the baby, and possibly him as well, but at that moment, he didn’t want to see anyone.

A week after giving birth, Kawachi returned to his apartment. Since he had been admitted directly after his water had broken, the trash hadn’t been taken out, and the apartment was filled with the stench of decay. He hadn’t prepared anything, not even bedding for the baby.

The baby was small, fragile, and felt like he could break at any moment. Every hour and a half, Kawachi had to nurse him, making it impossible to sleep through the night. Even when he took a bath, he couldn’t leave the baby alone. He brought Yuu to the bathroom with him, leaving the door slightly ajar, and hurriedly took a shower in a matter of minutes. Whenever the baby cried, he grew anxious, pacing the room restlessly.

He couldn’t leave the baby alone for even a moment, so he couldn’t go out to buy anything. When he ran out of diapers, he ordered some online and waited for the delivery, using the last one for half a day. Before the new ones arrived, Yuu’s bottom turned red, and Kawachi regretted not acting sooner. Even if he just needed thirty minutes to himself, there was no one to ask for help. His relatives didn’t even know he had had a child.

When he weighed Yuu on a scale he had bought online, he was horrified to see that the baby’s weight had decreased since birth. In a panic, he rushed to the hospital. He was told that the baby was malnourished and was advised to supplement with store-bought formula in addition to breastfeeding. He tried it, but Yuu didn’t seem to like the formula and refused to drink it. So, he had no choice but to pump his breast milk and feed it to the baby.

Yuu was adorable. No matter how he had come into the world, Yuu was precious. But every day brought new challenges, leaving Kawachi unable to find any peace of mind. Between taking care of Yuu and everything else, he barely had time for cleaning. The apartment grew messier by the day, but he felt powerless to address it, even knowing the untidiness wasn’t good for Yuu. The stress of wanting to clean but being unable to do so piled up.

One month after returning to the apartment with Yuu, on a sunny afternoon, Kawachi was jolted back to reality by Yuu’s crying. The baby was drenched in sweat, his face bright red. How long had he been crying? A sense of anxiety took over. Why hadn’t he noticed sooner? Could it be that this had happened before and he hadn’t realized?

After that, he began to space out more often. Yuu would cry, and he knew he should give him milk, but his body just wouldn’t move. Each day, taking care of him became harder and harder. He couldn’t sleep, and his milk supply wasn’t coming in. And once again… the diapers ran out. It was so exhausting. His stomach growled with hunger, but he still had to care for Yuu. His mother had raised him on her own. He too, would raise Yuu well. He hated the idea that just because he was a single parent, he wouldn’t be able to do the same things as others. I have to take care of him… I’ve fed him, changed his diapers, so why is Yuu still crying?

The doorbell rang. Yuu was crying. Had he ordered something online? Oh, the diapers. They must’ve arrived yesterday… Yuu is crying. But the delivery... I have to get to it. He staggered to the door, barely able to focus, and opened it.

“…Hello.”

The person standing there was not the usual delivery driver.

“I heard you’ve been on sick leave, so I came to visit. Please accept this.”

He offered a paper bag. In his casual attire—long-sleeved shirt and light-colored pants—Inukai didn’t look like he was working.

“…Work?” Kawachi asked.

“It’s Sunday.”

“Oh, right… I see.”

Kawachi realized that he had lost track of the days. He hadn’t been going outside, nor had he watched TV. The days had just blended together. Yuu’s crying echoed loudly through the apartment. Inukai glanced toward the back of the room as if intending to peer inside.

“Um, is there anyone else here?”

“No.”

“May I come in?”

“The house is messy…”

Yuu cried again. Kawachi remembered, then, that while he had been in the hospital, Inukai had asked him, “I’d like to visit, please let me know when would be a good time,” but he had forgotten to reply.

“Um… Could I see the baby?”

With the weight of his unspoken response hanging over him, Kawachi couldn’t bring himself to send Inukai away, especially with him already at the doorstep. Reluctantly, he let him in. Inukai’s eyes scanned the room, taking in everything around him. Kawachi felt embarrassed, thinking about how it must seem to Inukai—raising a child in such a messy home.

Yuu cried like a little kitten. Inukai sat next to him and gently spoke, “Hello there. Why are you crying?”

“Um… can I hold him?”

When Inukai asked, Kawachi just nodded, silently giving his consent. Inukai lifted Yuu effortlessly, as if he were used to it.

“He’s so cute,” Inukai said with a soft gaze, stroking Yuu’s head, whose cries began to quiet. He gently rubbed his back, and Yuu, who had been on the verge of tears, slowly closed his eyes as if comforted.

“You’re good at this,” Kawachi remarked faintly.

“I have two kids at my brother’s place,” Inukai replied, continuing to soothe Yuu.

Kawachi absently watched Inukai, still lost in his thoughts. It had been a long time since he’d had a conversation with anyone other than the doctor.

While holding Yuu, Inukai asked, “Are you living with someone else?”

“No…”

“Just you and the baby?”

Kawachi didn’t respond, but Inukai said softly, “That must be tough.”

The sympathy in his voice hit Kawachi like a wave, and he felt a lump form in his throat. Before he knew it, tears welled up and spilled over. Inukai’s eyes widened in surprise.

It’s ridiculous to cry just because someone said something kind, Kawachi thought, but the tears kept coming, one after another, until he couldn’t stop. After Kawachi calmed down, Inukai gently suggested, “You should see a doctor.”

“Kawachi-san, you look terrible. Your cheeks are sunken, and you seem to have lost weight… You’re raising a child on your own. You must be exhausted. I think you should rest for a bit.”

Lacking the strength to argue, Kawachi let Inukai accompany him to the hospital. He was diagnosed with severe malnutrition and mental exhaustion and was admitted for a few days. Thinking about it, Kawachi realized he had been so consumed with caring for Yuu that he often forgot to eat.

The doctor decided it would be better for Kawachi to stay away from Yuu for a little while, and during his hospitalization, Inukai offered to take care of the baby. Since Inukai had work during the day, he said he would ask a housekeeper, whom his family had employed previously, to help out. Honestly, Kawachi felt more at ease leaving Yuu with someone like Inukai, who was familiar with caring for children, rather than staying with him, in his current state.

After being admitted to the hospital, for the first time in a while, Kawachi was able to sleep through the night. With enough rest, his appetite started to return. Since Yuu was still a newborn, it was advised that he not be taken out unnecessarily, so it was decided that they wouldn’t meet until Kawachi was discharged. Instead, every day, after work, Inukai came to his hospital room and showed him videos of Yuu.

Even though his body felt lighter now that he was alone, a deep sense of self-loathing took hold of him. He couldn’t even take proper care of his child, and the thought of being a failure as a parent gnawed at him. The doctor had told him, "It's normal not to be good at raising your first child. You should relax and take it easy. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself." But how could he relax when he didn’t even know where to begin?

His ability to sleep had deteriorated again, and soon he was given sleeping pills. On a night when he couldn’t sleep, he accidentally overdosed on the sleeping medication and fell in his hospital room, twisting his right hand the day before his discharge. With his hand hurting, he couldn’t lift heavy things, making it difficult to take care of Yuu. The pain lingered, and he decided to extend his stay a bit longer, leaving Yuu in Inukai’s care.

When he returned home after being discharged, the house was still a mess. He did what he could to clean up, using only one hand. It was lonely without Yuu, but at the same time, there was a strange relief in not having to worry about him. He still didn’t fully understand Yuu’s temperament. For a moment, he wondered if Yuu might be better off being raised by Inukai. Raising such a small child had already exhausted him to the point of hospitalization. Wasn’t there someone more capable than me? Someone more… stable?

The room, finally clean after a long time, felt different. Sitting by the window on a lazy afternoon, it suddenly hit him. He had forgotten what it felt like since his pregnancy, but there was no mistaking it—he was in heat. What made matters worse was that he had no medication on hand.

Grabbing only his wallet, he rushed out of the apartment, hailed a taxi, and went straight to the hospital for a consultation at the OB-GYN clinic. By the time he arrived, his body was already burning with heat and he was short of breath. In the examination room, he was given suppressants, which eased the discomfort. However, while waiting to pay in the lobby, the heat returned, the familiar sensation of his estrus cycle coming back.

Panicked, he caught a nurse and explained his situation, asking to be seen again. The mild suppressants hadn’t worked, so adjustments were made to his medication. He was told he’d need to stay in the hospital for a few days to regulate the dosage.

Even with a stronger suppressant than before, it only lasted for thirty minutes. The most potent suppressant lasted a maximum of two hours. Since he couldn’t take it multiple times a day, they decided to switch to an intravenous suppressant. However, the side effect of nausea was so severe that the treatment had to be stopped midway.

His body burned with heat, his head throbbed, and waves of nausea left his consciousness hazy. The attending physician had explained that his heat cycle had progressed into a pattern where medication could no longer suppress it—he was a rare case among Omegas. The only remaining option was "sexual therapy."

This involved a device resembling a dildo, filled with sperm-free semen, simulating intercourse for approximately four hours as it injected the substance into the rectum. Without hesitation, Kawachi had opted for the therapy. Shame, pride—none of that mattered. The unbearable torment of his heat cycle left him no choice.

As the mechanical thrusts moved within him, he felt utterly pathetic, wishing he could just disappear. To mimic natural intercourse, the movements alternated between thrusting and vibrating at random intervals. Each surge of stimulation forced humiliating cries of “Hii!” or “Aaah!” from his lips. It was mortifying.

I never asked for this. I didn’t choose to be born an Omega. Why do I have to endure something like this?

It was exhausting. Yet, if he didn’t push through it, the alternative would be even worse—more pain, more suffering.

After enduring four hours of treatment while vomiting intermittently, the ordeal finally ended, and the dildo was withdrawn from his body. Even though Kawachi had endured it all while crying, the therapy failed to completely suppress his heat cycle. Within three hours, the symptoms began creeping back, slow and insidious.

Exhausted from consecutive treatments, Kawachi lay sprawled on the bed, too drained to move. His attending physician approached him with a grave expression.

“This is an extremely serious situation. It seems that your heat cycle, which was once manageable with medication, is now spiraling out of control right before it ends. Moreover, the pregnancy has caused significant changes to your physiology. According to some overseas studies, sperm seems to play a critical role in suppressing heat cycles. This means the final option is sexual therapy using semen that hasn’t been processed to remove sperm.”

Even with his muddled mind, he understood. That’s just regular sex.

"That… could result in pregnancy."

"An Omega's heat is fundamentally suppressed through intercourse with a man. Since Kawachi-san is not homosexual, we’ve been searching for methods to manage your heat cycle without involving male partners. However, based on your treatment progress so far, there’s no alternative left except sexual therapy using semen with active sperm. The semen used for therapy is typically donated by Beta volunteers, so the conception rate is lower compared to Alphas, but the possibility of pregnancy remains."

Kawachi shook his head firmly in refusal.

"I don’t want this."

Tears streamed down his face, falling uncontrollably.

"I don’t want this. I don’t want to get pregnant again."

He loved his child, truly, but it wasn’t something he had ever wished for. The thought of using pregnancy-inducing treatment just to escape his suffering made him want to die, to disappear completely. Even if he managed to get through this heat cycle, the next one would come, bringing the same agony all over again.

The physician, with a somber expression, asked, "Are you saying you don’t wish to proceed with any further treatment?" Kawachi nodded, his head bobbing up and down decisively.

"If you go through a heat cycle without treatment, I can’t guarantee your survival. In your case, Kawachi-san, the symptoms have become even more severe than before…"

"Doctor," Kawachi interrupted, looking up at the physician through labored breaths.

"I understand. I already understand everything…"

The doctor let out a deep sigh and said, "We can't expect much improvement, but I’ll try readjusting the medication to manage it."

"However, I can't make any promises about the future. There's a chance the heat could suddenly worsen, and you might pass away as a result. While you’re still able to communicate, you should meet anyone you wish to see."

The thought of seeing Yuu crossed his mind. I want to see Yuu. Just once more, to see his face. Yet the next moment, he pushed it away. But there’s no need. Someone as pitiful and incomplete as me isn’t what that child needs.

He consoled himself with the idea that even after he was gone, Inukai would take care of Yuu. If it’s Inukai… an Alpha like him would surely make Yuu happy.

He would simply die as he was now. When that time came, everything would end: being an Omega, the relentless heat cycles, the burden of being a parent. When I think of it that way… I just want it all to end soon. The desire for release grew stronger within him.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

…Kawachi was in hell. Flames surrounded him, the heat unbearable, each breath scorching his throat. His entire body tingled painfully as wave after wave of agony crashed over him, only to retreat slightly before surging back again.

After countless waves of torment, the pain and heat suddenly subsided, like a powerful tide pulling back, leaving behind a sense of relief. Everything seemed to reset to zero, only to be replaced by a creeping, insistent sense of comfort. I must have died. Finally… I’ve died. It felt surreal. Was this heaven? The sensation was intoxicating—blissful and overwhelming. His back tingled as something warm and soothing surged through him, originating from deep between his legs. The feeling enveloped him completely, filling him with an unfamiliar yet undeniable happiness.

Kawachi’s eyes fluttered open. Above him was a wooden-textured ceiling and the sterile glow of hospital lights. He recognized the sight—it was the hospital ceiling. So, I’m not dead…

His body felt light, far more comfortable than before. Perhaps the adjustments to the suppressants had worked. But then there was this strange sensation… His body was gently, rhythmically moving. A persistent heat emanated from between his legs—intense, almost intoxicating, yet undeniably hot. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached a hand toward his groin.

His penis was painfully erect, rigid and arched. Why… he wondered.

His hand continued further, brushing against the area behind his scrotum. What he found startled him. His opening was stretched unnaturally wide, and something was definitely inside.

The treatment with the dildo… that humiliating procedure… wasn’t that already over?

Before he could make sense of it, the object inside shifted, its angle changing abruptly. A sudden, electrifying jolt coursed through his entire body, leaving him gasping.

“Ahn…”

The sweet, unfamiliar sound of his own voice echoed in the sterile hospital room, a sound that didn’t even feel like it belonged to him.

A dark shadow loomed over him. A hand emerged from it, stroking his cheek. Inukai’s face came into view. Why is Inukai here? Was it already night? Inukai usually stopped by the hospital after work to talk about Yuu. No, that was during the last hospitalization. This time, after being admitted due to his heat, Kawachi had specifically told Inukai not to visit, fearing a repeat of the "incident" caused by his pheromones.

Kawachi wasn’t wearing hospital clothes. Inukai’s shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his chest. As his sluggish mind pieced the situation together, realization dawned on him.

“Wh… y… wha… are… you… doing…”

Inukai didn’t answer. Instead, he thrust into Kawachi violently.

"Aahn!"

The relentless assault left him gasping, "Hii!" "Aahh!"—the moans pouring out uncontrollably. It felt so good, as if every pore of his body was on the brink of release.

“Ahh… ahhn… it feels… so good…”

Inukai drove particularly hard, and then, with a wet sound, whatever had been inside him slid out. Kawachi’s chest heaved as he panted for air.

Inukai sat up, his body gleaming with sweat. His penis, slick with fluids, was bare—there was no condom. Kawachi’s entrance, still open and twitching, leaked thick, sticky semen that slowly dripped out.

The moment he saw it, his mind went completely blank.

"...Did you... finish... inside?"

Inukai didn’t respond.

"You... you finished... inside me?"

"I did."

Panicked, he wiped between his legs, but it kept coming, an endless trickle. Desperately, he inserted his fingers, trying to scoop it out. I have to hurry, or I'll get pregnant.

He had refused treatment precisely because he didn’t want to risk pregnancy. But now this—this can’t be happening. This isn’t fair.

"...I didn’t finish just once. You’re in heat, so I believe you’ll conceive."

"You’ve got to be kidding me!"

I can’t take this anymore.

As he tried to climb off the bed, his arm was grabbed and he was yanked back. Forced to face forward, a sharp, bursting pain—like a balloon popping against his cheek—struck him. A slap.

Before he could even react to the pain, the other cheek was struck as well, leaving him dazed and thrown onto his stomach. A heavy body pressed down on him from behind, pinning him in place. Without hesitation, the still-hardened penis thrust into his not-yet-closed entrance.

"Do you really hate the idea of having my child that much?"

Inukai's voice was low.

"You mean to say you'd rather die than bear my child, don’t you?"

But it was already too late. Inukai chuckled, his breath warm against his ear.

"You’re pregnant now, and you will bear my child again."

"I-I don’t want to."

"You were planning to die, weren’t you? In that case, it doesn’t matter how I treat this body of yours, does it?"

After a violent thrust that seemed to shake him to the core, his head was forced down onto the bed. In the midst of it, a sharp pain shot through his neck. He’d been bitten... No way. He’d been claimed as Inukai’s.

Despite the terrible situation, a reluctant pleasure was being dragged out of him by Inukai’s thrusting penis.

He pressed his face into the sheets, trying to stifle the unwanted moans that escaped his lips. But his effort was interrupted as his hair was grabbed and his head yanked back. Fingers forced their way into his mouth, making him choke out pitiful, shameful moans that echoed throughout the room.

From behind, from the side, from the front—he was penetrated and ejaculated into over and over again.

I’m terrified of getting pregnant.

He wanted it to stop, but it felt so good that he didn’t want it to end, leaving his mind a chaotic, tangled mess, spiraling into madness.

It was quite some time before it had disappeared from within him. Finally alone in his own body, he pulled his legs close, still trailing the lingering afterglow of pleasure, and sank back against the headrest. Across from him, Inukai sat, completely naked, staring at him.

He had told him not to come here, because he didn’t want to be raped. He had told him... and yet...

"I've submitted our marriage registration."

Inukai's words didn't make sense to him.

“If we weren’t legal partners, I wouldn’t have been able to have a say in your treatment when you were on the brink of death. Because we’re partners, they also allowed sex as part of your therapy.”

“I... I didn’t agree to this.”

Inukai gave a hollow, empty smile.

"That's right. I signed it without your consent. If you don't like it, go ahead and sue me. But if you were planning to die anyway, what difference does it make whether you got married or were violated by a man?"

Inukai closed the distance between them. Kawachi tried to retreat, but the headboard stopped him, forcing their proximity to grow uncomfortably close. Inukai reached out and pinched Kawachi's nipple. A sharp jolt of sensation shot through him, followed by a slow trickle of milk escaping from the tip.

"You're fully a mama now, aren’t you?"

"Enough!" Kawachi swatted Inukai's hand away, but Inukai raised his voice, shouting back.

"I'm the one who should be angry!"

Kawachi froze, startled.

"You were planning to just up and die, leaving Yuu to grow up without a mother?"

Kawachi had no reply. He looked down, avoiding Inukai’s piercing gaze.

"You're my fated mate, yet you've ignored me completely. I told myself it was because you're not interested in men, and I accepted that. Even when you bore my child, I understood it wasn't consensual, and I told myself it was enough that you gave birth to Yuu. I even swallowed my pride when you chose not to marry me because you love someone else."

Inukai’s voice trembled, his anger barely restrained.

"But this time, I can’t let it go. Even now, in your heat, when you were ready to die rather than choose me… isn’t that what this is?"

"But…"

"If you're ready to die, then it’s fine, isn’t it? If you’re going to treat yourself so carelessly, then it’s fine for me to treat you however I want, right? I could make you my mate so no one else can ever touch you. I could make you bear dozens of my children. And that would be okay, wouldn’t it?"

He’s… terrifying. This man is terrifying. Kawachi tried to escape, but Inukai pinned him down, face-first, against the bed. The scent of Inukai overwhelmed him, invading his senses, and the strength in Kawachi’s resisting arms gave out completely.

Something hard slowly pressed into him from behind. What... is this? It felt good. It had felt good before, but now... even better. He could feel his insides twitching and tightening around it. His upper body was pulled upright. Still connected, hands groped his chest from behind. That shouldn’t even be an erogenous zone, but the pleasure sent shivers all the way to his fingertips and toes.

“Ah, ahh...”

As their joined hips rocked, his swollen nipples were pinched hard. Milk spurted out forcefully.

"Stop, s-stop..."

As he writhed, he heard, "Look at this."

“This is your body now. A body that’s become mine. A body that’s given birth to my child and become a mother.”

With each squeeze, milk overflowed. Inukai licked the milk from his wet fingers. Kawachi's groin was sticky, soaked with spilled semen and milk clinging to his damp pubic hair.

Suddenly, he was embraced tightly from behind, so hard it felt like his breath might stop.

"Don’t say you don’t want to my children." The voice resonated through his body.

"Please, don’t hate me. …I want to be kinder to you, to cherish you even more."

"I love you," he whispered near his ear, and a shiver ran down his tailbone.

When he turned to look back, their eyes met—pale, beautiful eyes.

"…You’re finally looking at me."

The plea, tinged with longing, sent a sharp pang through his chest. Despite all the shameless things they had done up until now, an overwhelming wave of embarrassment swept over him, enough to break into a cold sweat. Awkwardly, he turned his face away.

Lying on his back, he felt the weight of the other man's body pressing down on him. The kiss was so long it felt endless, leaving him dizzy and enveloped in Inukai's scent. When their lips parted, they trailed down Kawachi's neck, descending slowly, before latching onto his swollen nipple and sucking hard, as though devouring it.

"Aaaagh!"

This ticklish, almost pleasant sensation—was it desire? Or something else entirely? He couldn’t tell. There wasn’t nearly enough time to process and come to terms with everything.

…But the thought of bearing another of Inukai's children—that was a near-certain reality waiting in the not-so-distant future.

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