The Moon’s Ship That Crosses The Night: Chapter 31

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When he woke up, the man was no longer in bed. As he glanced around in search of him, his eyes landed on the alarm clock—already past 7:30. Late!!! He leapt up, hurriedly changing into his suit, stuffing his tie into his bag, and dashing out of the bedroom.

The man was sitting on the living room sofa. Kawase caught a glimpse of him as he ran past, thinking something felt off, but there was no time to dwell on it. "Morning," he called out in passing. It wasn’t until he was washing his face and shaving that he realized what had been bothering him. Lately, the man had been staying naked all the time. But today, he was wearing clothes.

After throwing himself together just enough to be presentable outside, he returned to the living room. Their gazes met—something that rarely happened. "I'm off to work." The man gave a small nod, but his eyes looked strangely lonely. Kawase tilted his chin up and brushed a kiss against his lips, stroked his cheek, and lightly pinched the collar of his shirt between his fingers. He’d always thought the guy should at least wear something during the day, but now that he was dressed, Kawase found himself thinking—maybe he preferred him naked after all. "I’ll be back as soon as I can," he whispered into his ear before rushing out of the apartment.

That day at work was chaos from the start. A ridiculous typo on a prototype package, sudden rescheduling of meetings, and finally, a full cancellation of an important discussion—one thing after another. He didn’t even have time for lunch. In the end, Matsushita grabbed him a sandwich from the convenience store, which he wolfed down just to stave off hunger. By 7 p.m., the worst of it was over, but with only a sandwich for lunch, he was starving.

On his way home, he stopped by a convenience store, his eyes wandering, overwhelmed by all the choices. A new ice cream flavor was being heavily advertised. Without thinking, he grabbed one. As he took his basket to the register and opened his wallet—he realized something. The man's card was missing. "That'll be 1,500 yen," the cashier said, prompting him to pay in cash.

Once outside, he checked his wallet again. Gone. A chill ran down his spine. He’d definitely had it last night when they went shopping, and today, the only time he’d taken out his wallet was to pay Matsushita back for the sandwich. Could it have fallen into his bag? But standing here rummaging through it wasn’t an option. He didn’t know how much money was left on that card, but if the balance was high, this was serious. He needed to freeze it immediately.

Kawase broke into a run, heading straight for the apartment. When he jammed his key into the lock, he noticed something strange. The door wasn’t locked. That was odd. Pushing it open, he flicked on the entryway and hallway lights. "I'm home—" He trailed off. The man wasn’t in the living room.

Maybe he was sleeping? He checked the bedroom. Empty. The bathroom, the laundry room, the toilet—nothing. No sign of him anywhere. Back at the entrance, Kawase checked again. His shoes were gone. He stood frozen, his mind blank.

He’d seemed fine this morning. He’d said he liked him. So why—? The image of a lifeless body flashed through his mind, and his blood ran cold. When had he left? If he chased after him now, could he still catch up? But where would he even look? Where could a blind man go?

He cursed himself for not locking the door, but it wasn’t the first time he’d forgotten. The man had seemed stable, and lately, Kawase had gotten careless. But just today—he should’ve locked it.

And now that he thought about it… This morning, the man had been different. Normally, he stayed in bed until Kawase left. But today, he had gotten up first. He had gotten dressed. He was always naked, yet today… he had put on clothes. Clothes…

The man had never worn any before. His clothes had been folded away in the bedroom closet, mixed in with Kawase’s. He was blind—how had he managed to find his own clothes by touch alone? How had he put them on?

Kawase searched his wallet again. The only thing missing was the man’s card. The man had been awake before Kawase that morning, which meant he would have had plenty of time to take the card from his wallet.

He stepped into the bedroom and opened the drawer of the bedside table. The man’s glasses were gone. His wallet was still there, but the key inside it was missing.

A vanished man, a missing card, missing glasses, a missing key. Kawase let out a slow breath. At least he hadn’t left with nothing. If he took the card and the key with him, that was… still something.

Kawase searched the apartment, hoping for some kind of note, but there was nothing. Then, he remembered something the man had said once—"If I could see, the dream would end."

But Kawase had never believed that they had been dreaming. The two months they had spent together—it hadn’t been a dream. It had been real.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

Kawase had thought about traveling as far as he could by bullet train and regular trains, getting even slightly closer to Hokkaido overnight, but he realized it would be faster to take the first flight out in the morning and forced himself to wait.

At five in the morning, he got up and headed for the airport. The flight to Hokkaido took just over an hour—but the real journey began after that. He rented a car and drove east without stopping.

He called Arisawa from the airport in Hokkaido. There was no way he could tell the truth, so he said his mother had collapsed while traveling. He managed to secure two days off, but the thought of work made his stomach ache. Even so, he couldn’t stop himself from chasing after the man.

When he had visited in May, the greenery had been lush and vibrant. Now, the leaves were red and yellow. He cracked the window open to let in some air as he drove, but the chill made him shiver, and he hurried to close it again. He ate a sandwich he’d bought at the airport, kept his hands on the wheel, and didn’t stop once. Before noon, he entered the town where his company’s branch office was located, drove straight through, and turned onto a coastal road. The sky was a brilliant, endless blue. The sea, which had looked murky before, was now a crystal-clear shade of light blue.

The man’s house was getting closer. Almost there. That had been his goal all along, and yet, suddenly, an overwhelming anxiety gripped him. He had assumed the man had returned home since he had taken his key, but what if he hadn’t? And even if he had, the last thing Kawase wanted was to open that door and find a corpse waiting inside.

“It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine”, he repeated to himself, trying to will the words into truth. A man who could throw everything away, who didn’t care where he died, had taken the card and the key with him. That meant it would be fine. It had to be.

He recognized the turn ahead and veered left, pulling into a narrow alley. The man’s house came into view, and he pulled into the yard. The domestic sedan wasn’t there—Taguchi must still have it at the company.

The house was the same as it had been six months ago—small, old, and shabby. There was no doorbell, so Kawase knocked on the sliding door with his fist. No response. He knocked again, harder, then shook the door roughly. This time, he saw a shadow move behind the frosted glass.

With a rattle, the sliding door opened. Standing there, in the same wrinkled shirt and pants as the morning before, was the man.

Relief flooded through Kawase before anything else. He was alive.

Had he expected Kawase to come? Even when their eyes met, the man didn’t look the least bit surprised.

"What do you want?" he asked, his expression unchanged.

"What do I want? You disappeared without a word. Of course I was worried."

"I just went home."

"You could’ve at least said something before you left."

"Sorry about that. I had a flight to catch."

That evasive, teasing tone of his was back.

The conversation stalled. The man’s gaze, behind his glasses, remained fixed on Kawase’s chest, never wavering. That certainty made Kawase ask:

"Can you see now?"

"Thanks to you. I must have been quite the burden."

"When did it happen?"

"Yesterday, when I woke up."

The man let out a quiet "Ah," tilting his head to look up at the sky.

"I’m expecting company soon. Sorry you came all this way, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave."

Lies. His shirt was still a mess, as if he had just rolled out of bed. Hardly the way to welcome a guest.

"Who’s coming?" Kawase pressed.

"Taguchi. You know him."

The name made him hesitate. Maybe it wasn’t a lie.

"…Is it about the car?"

The man frowned slightly, as if puzzled. "Car?" he repeated, tilting his head.

If he had actually been in contact with Taguchi, he would have known the man was still holding onto his car. There was no way he wouldn’t have mentioned it.

So it was a lie after all.

"Don’t lie to me," Kawase said sharply. "Stop feeding me half-assed lies."

The man narrowed his eyes.

"Then let me ask you this—why are you here?"

Kawase took a breath, then answered, "I came to see you."

"I never called for you."

That dismissive response made his blood boil.

"It’s a weekday. Did you take time off work to come here? Is your job really that boring?"

Worried that the man might end up dead, Kawase had taken time off work and chased him all the way to the far north. And yet, this was how he was being spoken to. He was about to snap back but stopped himself when he realized—the man wasn’t even looking at him.

Just because he could see now didn’t mean he had become a different person. The man who had been shameless, adorable, and turned bright red when Kawase told him he loved him—that man hadn’t disappeared.

But the way he spoke now wasn’t the same as the man Kawase knew. Was he merely "pretending" to be insufferable? Why would he need to put on an act in front of someone who already knew everything about him?

"You’re not scared, right? I’ve already I told you."

The man tilted his head slightly. "Hm?"

"I said nothing would change just because you could see. That there was nothing to be afraid of. So there’s no need for you to force yourself, either."

"I don’t remember what you said."

That was enough to make Kawase snap.

"Why do you keep saying things that’ll piss me off?! I told you I love you too, so do you seriously want me to hate you?! Just admit you love me and come back already! That’s why I came to get you!"

"I have no intention of going back with you."

The words were firm and absolute.

"...What?"

"I’m not going back. I’m staying here."

"…What the hell are you saying? You love me, don’t you?"

"Just because I love you doesn’t mean I have to be with you. You’re a bit of a nuisance. Go home."

The man started to retreat into the house. Kawase panicked and grabbed his arm.

"We’re not done talking."

"I have nothing to say to you."

The man twisted his shoulder to shake him off, but Kawase yanked him forward with twice the force. The man let out a long, weary sigh.

"It's up to you how you feel about things but at least handle your own emotions yourself."

There was no room for arguments. No matter what he said, only cruel words came back at him, cutting into him. A man like this wasn’t cute in the slightest, and he didn’t want to talk to him anymore. …And yet, he had no intention of letting go of the arm he was gripping.

Without a word, still holding onto the man's arm, Kawase forced his way inside the house. The man tried to resist at the entrance, but Kawase was stronger. Dragging him in with half his weight against him, they stepped inside, shoes and all. As always, the hallway was grimy, and the living room was a mess, littered with piles of garbage. He shoved the man down onto the thin futon in the back of the filthy room.

When Kawase pulled off his jacket, the man must have understood his intent—because he laughed.

"So you’re that desperate to have sex with a man?"

The words made his head burn with anger, and he nearly lashed out. But he held himself back, just barely, and instead grabbed a fistful of the man's hair, crushing their mouths together in a rough, almost biting kiss. The man struggled, resisting with all his strength. No matter how much he fought, no matter if he screamed or cried, Kawase had no intention of stopping.

"Enough already. I told you—I have no intention of doing this," the man's voice was muffled, and Kawase found it unpleasant to listen to, so he covered the man's mouth with his hand. As he did, the man's body suddenly went limp. Kawase panicked, thinking he might have suffocated him, but that wasn't the case. The man had been struggling so much that Kawase's hand, which had been covering his mouth, had slipped and was now covering his eyes.

Kawase removed his cut-off sweater and used it to blindfold the man, tying it behind his head. This simple act was enough to calm the man down, and he became as docile as a dog that had been grasped by the throat. Kawase proceeded to undress the man, revealing the body he knew so well. As he ran his hand along the man's spine, his back arched like a bow.

Kawase's hands roamed the man's body, and he found himself excitedly trembling with pleasure as he fondled the man's genitals. Without any gentle caresses, Kawase inserted himself, and the man's body welcomed him, softly contracting around him. The man's nipples, already erect, responded with a sweet moan when lightly pinched.

With their legs still entwined, Kawase lifted the man's upper body, pulling him into a sitting position. He sat the man on his thighs, embracing him, and the man who had been resisting so fiercely now wrapped his arms around Kawase, clinging to him like a dream.

"You can move however you like," Kawase said gently, and the man, now freed, began to rock his hips. Kawase, overcome with desire, pulled the man's chin towards him and kissed him, their tongues entwined as they exchanged saliva. Kawase grasped the man's buttocks, moving in time with his rocking hips, and the man let out a voice like a cat in heat as Kawase roughly rocked him back and forth.

In the heat of the moment, Kawase forgot to use protection, and he came inside the man multiple times. After being subjected to harsh words, Kawase had become completely absorbed in the man's body, which responded sweetly to his touch.

As they changed positions, Kawase eventually took the man from behind, kneeling and inserting his fingers into the man's slightly flushed opening. The man's body, now filled with Kawase's seed, began to leak it out, tracing a path down his thin thighs and sending Kawase into a state of intense excitement.

As they continued to change positions, the man's blindfold eventually came loose. Although it had fallen away, the man kept his eyes closed, clinging to Kawase as he moved.

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