Deep Breath: Chapter 2 - Part 4

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The alarm clock woke him up at 7:00 a.m. As he got up, he felt the annoying, all-encompassing lethargy that made him want to throw himself back into bed. Feeling the chill, he put on a cardigan and headed to the living room. Yachi was in the kitchen, and noticing his footsteps, he turned and smiled, saying, "Good morning."

...Why is Yachi in my house? Am I dreaming?

"If you’d like, would you join me for this?" Yachi offered, gesturing to the dining table, which was laden with a heap of bread and paper cups. Even with the lid on, the fragrant aroma of coffee wafted into the air.

"I woke up early and found this while I was out for a walk."

The memories of the previous night began to return—meeting Yachi at the sandwich shop, the beer at the pub. Realizing this was reality, Haruno’s ears suddenly burned with embarrassment. He hadn’t even washed his face yet. His hair might still be a mess from sleep.

"I’ll have some later," Haruno mumbled, escaping to the bathroom. He quickly checked himself in the mirror, but to his relief, his hair wasn’t as messy as he feared. After carefully shaving and freshening up, he returned to the kitchen.

"Help yourself to whatever you like."

Haruno usually skipped breakfast and went straight to work. He wasn’t hungry, especially after drinking late the night before. But knowing Yachi had bought the food for him made him feel appreciated, so he picked up a yellow bread roll.

He broke off a piece and brought it to his mouth. It was soft and delicious. He forgot about his lack of appetite and had eaten nearly half when he felt someone’s gaze on him. It felt like he was being watched.

When he looked up, their eyes met. Yachi didn’t look away but continued to stare intently. Haruno quickly averted his gaze and lowered his head. Why is he looking at me? What is he seeing? Haruno’s hands trembled as he broke off more pieces of bread under the weight of Yachi’s gaze.

The silence made him even more self-conscious. Haruno finally raised his head and asked, "So, what are your plans for today?"

Yachi’s fingers, which had been bringing a paper cup to his lips, paused for a moment.

"I’m thinking of visiting the Tower of London."

It was a famous tourist spot known for its dark history, including its use as an execution site and the mysterious disappearances of princes amid battles for the throne. It seemed like the kind of place a fan of mystery novels like Yachi would enjoy.

"Is there anywhere you’d recommend, Haruno-san?"

"I’ve only been to the British Museum once, so I haven’t really done much sightseeing."

Besides, the only other place I’ve been is Soho to pick up men... but I can’t tell Yachi that.

"That’s how it is when you live somewhere, I suppose."

"But the Tower of London sounds interesting. I’d like to see it too."

Haruno had never really wanted to visit, but he said it anyway, hoping to find some common ground with Yachi.

"In that case, would you like to go together? On your day off, Haruno-san?"

Haruno swallowed hard.

"Together?"

"Yes," Yachi nodded slightly.

"But are you sure? Won’t it mess up your plans to change them for me?"

"I don’t have a strict schedule. I was planning to go to the British Museum today."

Haruno clenched his hands tightly.

"Tomorrow... would work too."

Yachi tilted his head slightly.

"I’m on vacation from tomorrow until next week."

An awkward silence followed. Had he said something strange? Yachi looked at him curiously, his mouth slightly open.

"Vacation?"

For Yachi, having someone take time off work just for him might feel like a heavy burden.

"Yes. I’ve been wanting to take some time off for a while now. It just happened to coincide with your visit to England."

Was the excuse too forced? Even looking at Yachi’s face, Haruno couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

"Most employees take longer vacations in the summer and at Christmas, so this time of year works better for me."

After that explanation, Yachi finally replied, "I see." But his dark eyes still looked as if they were probing for the truth.

Haruno hurriedly stood up from his chair.

"...I should get going."

He fled the room as if he were running away. After changing in his bedroom, he grabbed his work bag and pocketed the keys from his desk. As he passed Yachi, who was still seated, he called out, "I’m off," and opened the front door.

In the elevator on the way down, Haruno pressed a hand to his forehead. He felt like he had messed up in several ways. He probably would have mentioned his upcoming vacation eventually, but he hadn’t expected such a subtle reaction. He analyzed Yachi’s behavior. Since Yachi had suggested they go sightseeing together, it didn’t seem like he disliked being around Haruno. But maybe he didn’t want to be followed around all the time?

Haruno pressed his lips together. He realized he had forgotten to brush his teeth. He never skipped that before work. He had been so flustered that he’d forgotten his usual routine. It’s okay. I have a toothbrush at the office. I can brush there. It’s not a problem.

Managing the distance between people is difficult. In private matters, Haruno wondered if he wasn’t as good at handling relationships as he thought, feeling increasingly frustrated.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

It wasn’t until he was talking to Imran, who had just returned from India, that Haruno realized he had forgotten something much more important than brushing his teeth.

Imran had reported the details of the contract via email, so there had been no need for him to come to the office today. Yet, he had shown up out of obligation. This kind of behavior was rare for a foreigner. While people often complete the tasks they’re assigned, they rarely go beyond what’s required. Individualism is strong, for better or worse. Even when working in teams, the "help each other" spirit found in Japan isn’t common.

When Haruno first started working as the Global Manager at Sekdir, there had been some resistance, especially from the British white-collar workers, due to his being Asian.

Although the UK outwardly promotes equality, a strong sense of class consciousness persists. There are subtle accents depending on where you live, revealing where you were born and raised.

Since Haruno was fluent in English and spoke four languages, he wasn’t openly mocked, but he often felt like people were sizing him up to see how competent he was.

Imran, an Indian-British man with dark skin, large eyes, and Middle Eastern features, had a strong drive to climb the social ladder, likely due to his working-class background. He had previously been dissatisfied with his treatment under a former supervisor who didn’t appreciate his abilities, but Haruno seemed to have earned his favor by judging people based on merit rather than race or language.

"I'm on vacation from tomorrow until next week, so if anything comes up, contact me on my cell."

Imran narrowed his eyes and smiled.

"Have a good vacation, boss... Are you going anywhere?"

"Not really. I have a friend visiting, so I’ll be showing him around the city..."

A sudden image of the keys flashed in Haruno’s mind, and he sprang out of his chair.

"Boss?"

Imran took a step back, startled by Haruno’s abrupt movement, as Haruno grabbed his cell phone and ran out into the hallway. He called his home. A glance at his watch told him it was almost 11:00.

Even after 20 rings, there was no sign of anyone picking up. Was he being considerate, thinking it was someone else’s phone? Haruno called again. On the 15th ring, there was finally a response.

"Yachi-san?" Haruno asked eagerly, in contrast to Yachi’s relaxed tone on the other end: "Is this Haruno-san?"

"I’m sorry. I forgot to give you the spare key. Were you unable to go out?"

"The weather’s bad, so I’ve just been reading in the room."

"The key is in my bedroom desk…"

He had taken it out of the drawer yesterday, intending to give it to Yachi. He didn't want to forget, so... this morning...

Back in the office, Haruno reached into the pocket of the coat hanging by his desk. He pulled out a bare key, without even a keychain. His usual key was in his bag. Holding the two keys, Haruno felt close to tears.

"I accidentally brought the spare key to the office. I’ll return during my lunch break. I’m really sorry, but could you wait until then?"

"Don’t worry about it. The book I bought yesterday is interesting."

"No, I’ll definitely come back. I’m really, really sorry."

Haruno abruptly hung up the phone and buried his head in his hands. This was the worst. Yachi had come all the way here on vacation, and Haruno had ruined half of his day because of his own mistake.

"Boss, is everything okay?" Imran asked with concern.

"...It’s nothing serious."

"That’s good to hear. I’ve never seen you so flustered before."

Haruno felt embarrassed for losing his composure, especially over a personal matter, while at the office. He pretended to smooth his already neat hair.

"I forgot to give my friend a spare key, and I accidentally brought it to the office instead. Now my friend is stuck indoors, unable to go out even though he came all the way from Japan..."

Imran blinked and then laughed, "Even a cool, perfectionist boss like you makes mistakes, huh?"

Haruno was slightly annoyed at being laughed at but let it slide. After all, it wasn’t Imran’s problem. Haruno glanced at the clock. He wanted to go back to the flat right away, but he had a meeting in 15 minutes.

"Sherry," he called to his blonde secretary.

"I need to ask you to deliver something, but it’s for a personal matter..."

"I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s outside my contract."

Even though she must have overheard his conversation with Imran, she still refused. And she was right—it wasn’t part of her job. Haruno felt a bit awkward for assuming she’d help out of goodwill.

"Boss, I could deliver the key to your friend if you’d like," Imran offered.

Haruno turned around quickly.

"Ah, but…"

"I’m just heading home anyway, and your place is on my way. It’d be a shame for your friend to miss out on sightseeing after coming all the way from Japan."

Imran smiled as he spoke. With the meeting just 10 minutes away, Haruno didn’t have time to hesitate. He handed the spare key to his subordinate.

◇:-:◆:-:◇

By the time the meeting ended, it was already past 1:00 p.m. Haruno called home, but Yachi didn’t answer. He felt relieved—if Yachi wasn’t picking up, that meant he wasn’t home. Imran must have delivered the key, and Yachi had gone out.

When Haruno left the office at the end of the day, he headed straight for the subway station. If Yachi returned to the flat early, they could go out to eat together. This time, he’d make sure to take him to a restaurant. It was a weekday, not the weekend, so they’d be able to get a table if they didn’t go too late.

This time, Haruno had a legitimate reason to invite Yachi. He had wasted half of Yachi’s day by forgetting the key. Yachi would likely accept the invitation if it was framed as an apology. More than anything, Haruno wanted to make up for his mistake as soon as possible.

He kept replaying the moment he realized he’d forgotten the key. Each time, a wave of self-loathing hit him, and he almost felt like collapsing in the train. He knew how to fix things when he made a mistake. As long as he properly addressed the situation, it would be okay. The same principles applied to both work and personal relationships.

He had felt a similar way before—when he couldn’t stand watching Yachi being insulted by a guy at the bento shop and had said something snide to the guy. Seeing the man’s face twist in frustration had brought Haruno a momentary sense of satisfaction, but that was quickly replaced with regret when Yachi got hurt as a result. He had regretted provoking the guy dozens of times afterward. It was even harder that Yachi hadn’t blamed him once.

If Yachi had criticized him, it would have been tough to hear, but the fact that he didn’t say anything made Haruno feel like he didn’t even register as someone worthy of attention—like he was invisible.

Haruno finally snapped out of his self-loathing as the train reached his stop. He walked quickly. Why was he in such a hurry? Because he wanted to invite Yachi to dinner. He knew that whether he ran or walked, it would only make a five-minute difference, but he couldn’t slow down.

As he passed the pub, his flat came into view. The lights were on in his window. Yachi was back. They might be able to go out to eat. Realizing this, Haruno felt a wave of relief.

As he opened the door, warm air greeted him, along with a savory smell. What’s that scent? He immediately peeked into the kitchen. Yachi was standing at the stove, holding a frying pan. The sound of something sizzling filled the room, but Yachi didn’t turn around.

"...I’m home," Haruno called out.

Yachi’s back flinched in surprise.

"Oh, welcome back. I hope you don’t mind me using your kitchen," Yachi said, turning his head slightly to look at Haruno.

"...What are you doing?"

"Haruno-san, you haven’t had dinner yet, right?" Yachi replied with a question instead of an answer.

"No, not yet."

"I’m cooking something now. Would you like to eat together?"

The unexpected offer left Haruno unsure of how to respond. As the silence stretched, Yachi’s lips quivered with uncertainty.

"Uh, I don’t want to pressure you, but…"

"Oh, no, I’d be happy to join you. Thank you."

Needing to clear his head, Haruno retreated to his bedroom. He took off his coat and changed out of his suit into a sweater and jeans.

Had there been any sign that Yachi would start cooking in his flat? Back in Japan, whenever he visited Yachi’s place, they always ate out or got takeout. Hadn’t Yachi said he didn’t cook?

But the fact was, Yachi was cooking now. After letting that sink in, Haruno left the room. He noticed that the dining table was piled high with bagels. There was also a large container of bean salad that seemed too much for one person. It looked like Yachi had bought all this food, intending to have dinner at home together.

Haruno approached the man cooking in the kitchen. Noticing Haruno's presence, Yachi turned slightly and smiled, "It'll be ready soon."

In the frying pan, two fish were sizzling side by side, the oil crackling around them. It seemed that fish would be the main dish. Yachi gently shook the pan and then flipped the fish with a spatula. Haruno suddenly remembered that there were cooking utensils in the flat. When he first rented the place, he was told it came fully furnished, with appliances and cooking utensils, but he had never used them and had forgotten all about them.

"My subordinate probably came by earlier to drop off the house key," Haruno mentioned.

Without looking up from the frying pan, Yachi replied, "Yes, Imran-san, right?"

"He's very kind. We had quite a conversation," Yachi said, chuckling as if recalling something funny.

"He thought I was your boyfriend," Yachi continued, still smiling. "When he realized I was a guy, he looked really disappointed. Apparently, he was curious about what kind of person the cool boss's girlfriend would be."

Haruno clenched his jaw. So that was why Imran had been so eager to help—he was driven by curiosity.

"He’s really good at cooking, and when I mentioned I like to cook, he took me to a fresh seafood market. He even taught me some cooking techniques, so I ended up buying some ingredients."

Yachi’s eyes sparkled as he spoke, clearly having enjoyed the experience. Despite his own feelings, Haruno felt it was good that Yachi had enjoyed his time with Imran.

Then, Haruno noticed some mushrooms lying on the counter. "What about these?"

"Oh, those," Yachi replied with a sheepish smile. "I was planning to cook them as a side dish with the fish, but once I started on the fish, I got too caught up to do both at once."

As Haruno watched, he suddenly realized that this was a situation where he should offer to help. He rolled up his sleeves and asked, "Should I wash these?"

But Yachi shook his head, "No, no, it’s fine. You’ve just come home from work, you must be tired."

"My job is mostly desk work, so I’m not that tired. And if I help with the prep now, we can finish cooking faster," Haruno insisted.

After a moment of hesitation, Yachi gave in. "Then please, just brush off the dirt and dust from the mushrooms. No need to wash them." He nodded slightly, though there was something in Yachi’s expression that seemed off. Nevertheless, Haruno carefully cleaned the mushrooms and placed them on the counter.

"Thank you," Yachi said, though his gaze remained somewhat unsettled. Haruno couldn’t help but wonder if he had done something wrong. Was there a special technique for cleaning mushrooms that he was missing?

"Did I do something wrong with the mushrooms?" Haruno asked.

"No, it’s just that…," Yachi trailed off, then continued, "Could you cut them in half for me?"

Finally, things started to make sense to Haruno, and he felt his face flush with embarrassment. Yachi had been busy with the fish and had wanted him to not only clean the mushrooms but also cut them. Haruno had only done what he was told, without thinking ahead. And now, instead of realizing this sooner, he had been nitpicking about whether his method was acceptable.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t more considerate," Haruno mumbled, feeling his voice grow quieter.

"No, it’s my fault for not prepping everything before starting the cooking. I’m not very good at multitasking," Yachi replied, attempting to defuse the situation.

Everyone makes mistakes, Haruno reminded himself. What matters is how you recover from them. With renewed determination, he placed a mushroom on the cutting board and picked up the knife. It had been a long time since he had used a knife, probably not since his school days.

As soon as he decided to cut it, an overwhelming pressure weighed on Haruno’s shoulders. Unlike flat ingredients, mushrooms had an irregular shape. Would he be able to cut it neatly in half? Haruno swallowed nervously.

"Can I step away for a moment?" Haruno asked.

"Huh?" Yachi looked confused.

"I need to look up how to cut these properly."

"You can just chop it roughly. It’s just for us, so it doesn’t need to be perfect."

Haruno really didn’t know how to do it. But in the end, all that mattered was cutting it in half. The process didn’t matter if the result was fine.

Haruno pressed down on the mushroom with his index and middle fingers, but the rounded end wobbled. He adjusted his grip, using all five fingers to hold it steady, but now it was hard to position the knife. Haruno plunged the knife vertically into the center of the mushroom. The next step was to pull it toward him, but his thumb was in the way. Carefully lowering the knife without cutting his finger, Haruno finally pulled it through, but the mushroom didn’t split evenly. One half was thick, while the other looked scrawny, as if it had been starved. Haruno resisted the urge to throw away the botched mushroom, remembering that Yachi had bought them.

With renewed determination, Haruno picked up a second mushroom. This time, he tried a different approach, starting by slicing into the thicker stem and carefully cutting toward the cap. The tension made Haruno’s breathing shallow. The knife cut cleanly through the stem, but as soon as Haruno relaxed, the cap slipped to the side. Before he could react, the knife had sliced through it unevenly.

"Oh no," he muttered involuntarily, realizing that the cap and stem were now separated—an even worse outcome than before.

A soft chuckle made him turn around. Yachi was shaking with laughter, and the embarrassment and frustration threatened to bring Haruno to tears.

"Thank you," Yachi said, his voice still carrying the remnants of his laughter. He took the dismembered mushroom and tossed it into the frying pan with a casual flick of his wrist, letting it sizzle alongside the fish.

Suppressing the urge to flee the kitchen, Haruno clenched his fists.

"I don’t cook, so I’m not used to handling knives," Haruno explained.

"That makes sense. You used to come to the bento shop all the time," Yachi replied, his tone almost suggesting that he knew everything there was to know.

Haruno felt a prick of annoyance at Yachi’s seemingly all-knowing attitude.

"That’s why I said I’d look it up online. If I had, I might have done a better job of cutting them."

"It’s fine as it is," Yachi reassured him.

"It’s not fine. It looks terrible," Haruno insisted, glancing at the cap-only mushroom in the pan.

"Actually, with just the cap, it cooks more evenly," Yachi said, pressing the mushroom down with a spatula.

Was that really true? Haruno couldn’t tell if Yachi was just being polite or if it was some culinary truth he didn’t know.

"But… you laughed, didn’t you?" Haruno said, turning to face Yachi.

"Hmm?" Yachi looked back at him, puzzled.

"When you saw how I cut the mushroom, you laughed."

Haruno knew he was being petty, but he couldn’t help himself. Yachi reached out and gently stroked Haruno’s cheek.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you," Yachi apologized softly.

Yachi's fingers quickly withdrew. Haruno looked down and, under the pretense of needing to use the bathroom, left the kitchen. He sat on the edge of the bathtub, burying his face in his hands. A mix of happiness and embarrassment overwhelmed him, leaving him unsure of what to do. When he glanced in the mirror, he saw that his face was flushed red like an angry monkey. He splashed his face repeatedly with ice-cold water. As the cold numbed his fingers, the heat in his face finally began to subside.

When he left the bathroom, Haruno headed for the living room sofa. If he stayed near Yachi, he might end up being asked to do something he wasn't prepared for again.

"Haruno-san, do you have any plates?" Yachi's voice called out from the kitchen.

"Plates?" Haruno echoed.

"Yes, if you have two medium-sized ones."

Fetching plates seemed manageable. He took them out of the cupboard, only to remember that he had never used them since moving in, so he quickly washed and dried them.

"Thank you," Yachi said gratefully.

The slightly burnt fish and mushrooms were then plated and brought to the dining table. The bean salad looked a bit cheap in its plastic container, so Haruno transferred it to a plate. He also divided the bread onto smaller plates. This simple act made the meal feel more like a proper dinner. Since they only had water to drink, Haruno decided to open a bottle of wine.

"Oh, you arranged everything so nicely," Yachi commented, smiling. It was just a simple plating, but Haruno felt a small surge of pride.

They toasted quietly and began eating. Although the fish was a little overcooked, the seasoning of salt, pepper, and lemon was refreshing and delicious. The mushrooms, despite their earlier mishap, were thick and had a unique texture. The bagels were cold but still soft. The only slight disappointment was the bean salad, which was a bit bland. Still, it was a better meal than many mediocre restaurants.

"Yachi-san, you cook, don't you?" Haruno asked while chewing on a piece of fish.

"I started recently. I'm still not very good, and I can't make anything too complicated, but I find it enjoyable," Yachi replied with a smile that deepened the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes.

"I was worried that I might mess up your kitchen," Yachi added.

"Don't worry about that," Haruno reassured him.

The fish was so good that Haruno felt he could eat another one. As he nibbled on his bagel, he sensed Yachi's gaze on him. He looked up and, as expected, their eyes met.

"What is it?" Yachi asked, noticing Haruno's hesitation.

Haruno had intended to ask something but lost his nerve and mumbled, "It’s nothing…"

Yachi had been watching him during breakfast too, especially while they were eating. Was he observing Haruno’s table manners?

"Is it good?" Yachi asked.

"Yes," Haruno replied honestly, and Yachi responded by placing more salad and bread on his plate, encouraging him to eat more. Not wanting to leave any leftovers, Haruno took his time chewing through it.

By the end of the meal, they had nearly finished the food and drunk a fair amount of wine. Yachi began clearing the dirty dishes and started washing them, humming a tune. Haruno dried the dishes with a cloth and returned them to the cupboard.

It might have been the first time Haruno had ever prepared a meal together with someone and then cleaned up afterward. Although he knew this was a common routine for many, it was something far removed from his own life. The hassle of preparation and cleanup, not to mention the uncertainty of how the meal would turn out, were factors that had always made him avoid cooking. But perhaps the real reason was simply that there had never been anyone to cook for him.

He didn’t particularly enjoy drying dishes, but standing beside Yachi and working together felt right. When Yachi stopped humming, Haruno realized that the dishes were all washed. He sensed Yachi’s gaze on him and felt a strange tension build up. All he was doing was drying plates—there was no room for a mistake like when he was cutting the mushrooms or any of Yachi’s observed table manners.

"You're quite meticulous, Haruno-san," Yachi commented casually.

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh, I just noticed how you make sure to wipe off every last drop of water," Yachi explained.

"…I don’t like it when things are left wet," Haruno replied.

"That makes sense," Yachi said, almost as if he had expected that answer.

Though Yachi hadn’t said anything particularly harsh, Haruno felt an odd sense of discomfort, as if his chest had been scratched. When Yachi finished drying his hands, he moved away from the kitchen, leaving Haruno feeling oddly abandoned. He quickly followed Yachi into the living room.

Yachi was sitting on the sofa, looking at a guidebook. When Haruno sat across from him, Yachi glanced up.

"You have the day off tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"Shall we go to the Tower of London, then?"

Haruno nodded. "Sure."

"What time should we go?"

Yachi tilted his head, thinking. "Since it's a weekday, we can leave whenever we wake up and are ready."

Haruno preferred having a set time, as it allowed him to prepare accordingly. But if Yachi wanted to be more spontaneous…

"Would it be easier if we set a specific time?" Yachi asked, almost as if reading his thoughts.

Haruno felt a twinge of surprise. "No, it's fine."

"If it would be more convenient for you…"

"I said it's fine not to set a time. While it is easier to plan around a specific time, I'm not so rigid that…"

"Haruno-san," Yachi gently interrupted. "Let’s just say around ten o'clock."

"But…" Haruno started to protest, but Yachi’s steady gaze silenced him.

"Around ten will be fine," Yachi insisted.

Pushed by Yachi's words, Haruno had no choice but to fall silent. The specific time they left didn’t really matter. Yachi understood that.

"Would it be alright if I used the bath first?" Yachi asked.

"…Go ahead," Haruno replied.

Yachi disappeared into the second bedroom, and once he was out of sight, Haruno rubbed his forehead. He knew he was meticulous, almost to a fault. It hadn’t caused him any issues in life, but he wondered if others found it annoying. He didn’t care much about how others perceived him, but Yachi's reaction bothered him. What he considered normal behavior felt like a flaw in front of Yachi.

Haruno poured the remaining wine into his glass and drank it down quickly. He tore off a piece of leftover bagel and ate it, propping his feet up on the table in a deliberately bad posture. Was he sulking because Yachi had pointed out his obsessiveness?

Come to think of it, did Yachi even go into the bathroom? After saying he was going to take a bath, he hadn’t seemed to have left his room. Had he fallen asleep on the bed, like he did the night before? Haruno gently opened the bedroom door, trying not to make any noise. Yachi wasn’t asleep. He was sitting on the bed, his back turned to Haruno.

Haruno knocked softly on the open door, and Yachi quickly turned around. His expression was tense, much more rigid than Haruno had expected.

“I noticed you hadn’t come out in a while, so I thought you might have fallen asleep.”

“Oh, right. I was going to take a bath…” Yachi responded awkwardly as he stood up. Haruno noticed that there were some cards scattered on the bed. Realizing where Haruno’s gaze was directed, Yachi quickly apologized, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take things out without asking.”

“What are those?” Haruno asked.

“They’re playing cards,” Yachi said, picking up one of the cards and turning it over to show Haruno. It was the ace of spades. But Haruno had no memory of ever buying a deck of cards in his life.

“I don’t think those are mine,” Haruno said.

“But… they were in the drawer of the side table,” Yachi replied hesitantly.

“They must have been left behind by someone who lived here before. This flat came fully furnished, with all the appliances and even household items included. The kitchen utensils you used were also part of the setup.”

“I see,” Yachi murmured, gathering up the cards from the bed. “I guess I got nostalgic, thinking about how I used to play cards a lot.”

Yachi skillfully shuffled the cards, and Haruno found himself stepping into the room. It wasn’t that he particularly wanted to see the cards, but something about Yachi’s behavior—how he had averted his gaze—caught Haruno’s attention. Although this was his own home, it felt like Yachi had taken ownership of the space, and Haruno wondered if he had overstepped by entering without permission.

Yachi put the cards back in their box and picked up his clothes from the bed. “I’ll go take that bath now,” he said, quickly leaving the room as if fleeing the scene.

Haruno felt a flicker of frustration at his own inability to make sense of his emotions. Yachi had been staring at him during dinner, making him feel so self-conscious, yet now he was avoiding eye contact altogether. Was it because Haruno had entered the room without permission?

Taking advantage of Yachi’s absence, Haruno grabbed the deck of cards from the bed. The antique circus design was something he had never seen before. Could it have been left behind by someone who had visited this flat before?

The drawer… The thought hit him like a brick. Haruno’s heart nearly stopped as he rushed to open the top drawer of the side table. Inside, neatly arranged, were a small box containing condoms, a bottle of lubricant, and a tissue box. His vision went dark.

Yachi had seen this. There was only one drawer in the side table, so he would have come across these items for sure. What must he have thought upon finding them? The thought was terrifying.

There was only one issue: Had Yachi realized that these items were meant for Haruno’s encounters with other men, or did he think they were prepared for a potential encounter with him? Either way, it made Haruno look pathetic.

Haruno tossed the deck of cards back onto the bed and hurried to his own room, where he locked himself in. He felt like he was going to die of embarrassment.

Of course, he had fantasized about being with Yachi. Dozens of times. But he never imagined things would progress smoothly with a straight man. Besides, if he did something to make Yachi feel disgusted, it would be nearly impossible to undo that damage. Yachi’s reaction—was it really because Haruno had entered the room without permission, or because he had seen the items in the drawer and been repelled by the idea of Haruno preparing for such an encounter?

Haruno wanted to hide away forever. He couldn’t bear the thought of facing Yachi again.

He quickly scribbled a note on a memo pad: “I have a headache, so I’m going to rest early,” and placed it on the living room table before retreating back into his room. He couldn’t help but think that today was cursed. First, he had forgotten to give Yachi the spare key, then he had embarrassed himself in the kitchen, and now this—Yachi had found out that he had a stash ready for intimate encounters. If he were in Yachi’s shoes, this would be beyond awkward—it would be a disaster.

Haruno scratched behind his ear, trying to shake off the anxiety. Should he have just put those things away? But then again, if he did that, it would make it seem like he was overly concerned about the situation.

A knock on the door made Haruno jump on the bed. The knock came again, and he had a feeling Yachi might enter the room. “Yes?” Haruno’s voice came out high-pitched and shaky.

“…Are you okay?” Yachi asked, his voice filled with concern.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Do you need anything?”

“I think I drank too much wine. I’m sorry, I’ve been overdoing it since yesterday.”

“It’s okay…”

“I’m just going to sleep now. Goodnight.”

Haruno ended the conversation abruptly. He could still sense Yachi’s presence outside the door, but soon the footsteps faded away.

Haruno curled up on the bed. Tomorrow, they were supposed to visit the Tower of London together and spend the entire day together. But how was he supposed to act around Yachi now? Just thinking about tomorrow morning made his mind go blank, unable to process anything beyond that.

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